Well, if you remember correctly, I was fed up with my smoking-only-when-drinking rule, so last week I went cold turkey. It went decently for a few days, until I craved and had one during a SERIOUSLY stressful day at l’office. I have had a few here and there, but I must say, the thrill and sensation of lighting up a smoke and taking that first drag is gone for me.

Now, I just have to get my brain to agree with the rest of my body.

I have come to hate the smell and, almost equally, hate the taste. When my non-smoker co-workers won’t come near me because I reek of smoke, it makes me feel a little embarrassed, so I have been working on not smoking at all. I’m a human and have a weak moment here or there, but, for the most part I am doing much better.

The thing is, I really want to quit. I know it’s a horrendous and dirty habit, not to mention completely unhealthy. That said, there’s still a small part of me that needs that smoke when I’m stressed or upset, which – granted – is not very often, but still makes me want that smoke when I need it. I need to find another outlet as a way to deal with my stressful situations that arise from time to time.

So far, I am less than pleased with my progress, but hey, it could be worse. This week I am focusing on trying to bite my cravings with gum or something else to stop my smoke craving. This morning I smoked one and was so grossed out I vowed to not smoke anymore the rest of the day. I know for all you non-smokers out there, it may seem odd that I just can’t quit even though I say I want to, but it’s more strenuous than it seems to be. When you’re body is used to something, cutting it out right away is hard to do.

Ever since our family dentist looked at my brother’s teeth and asked him if he routinely fell asleep with candy in his mouth and my mother saw the amount of money it would take to clear his teeth of cavities, I haven’t had anything but diet soda.

Sugary sodas and juices went out the window as soon as my parents realized the havoc they were playing with our health (not like the aspartame in diet soda is any better…but…I mean…let’s not think about that), and since that fateful dentist appointment 13 years ago, I have been very conscious of the hidden bad stuff inside innocent-seeming liquids.

Sometimes, even the good, “healthy” stuff can stab you in the back. Need some examples?

Glaceau VitaminWater (20 oz)

This shiz has 130 calories and 33 grams of sugar. I love VitaminWater because it makes me feel like I’m ingesting actual vitamins, but when I force myself to think about it…how healthy can something that tastes THAT sweet really be?

Pina Colada

This summer drink has 625 freaking calories and 75 grams of sugar. Do you KNOW how many miles on the treadmill that is? Give me some rum and a splash of lime — still tropical, but waaayyy less mean to the waist line. Read More »

This past weekend was crazy. Well, for after-college-Lauren, that is. I went out both Friday and Saturday night and got D to the Runk (which makes drunk) both nights. My drink of choice: Rum and Diet, with a refreshing squeeze of lime. Not only delicious, but the perfect blend for a happy, fun, drunk Lauren.

Sunday morning, though, was not so great. I felt like sh*t. I crawled out of bed and right onto the couch where I spent a good portion of my day watching TV and playing online. Which only made me feel worse. It turns out that feeling like crap was only the beginning of my problems. My weekend bender had me drinking crap.

And, no, I am not referring to lovely and magical alcohol as crap. I am literally talking about poop. In my drink.

According to a study discussed in this article, the little lemon wedges that adorn the top of water/soda/alcohol cups is not quite as clean and refreshing as we once thought. In fact, of the 76 lemons tested, “a total of 25 different types of germs were found.”

Ew.

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All I want today is a doughnut. A big, sticky, sugary, flaky doughnut.

And I’m f*&cking incensed over it.

All I want to do today is be elbow deep in butter cream frosting and rub it all over my face like war paint, while making Indian battle cries over my victory of gluttony.

And I’m so irate over it, that I cursed my salad for tasting like a f*&cking salad, instead of a cupcake.

No, I’m not about to start my period. I’m just being reminded that my eating has to be conscious in order to not fall back into a period of my life that was unhealthy and dark. A period where I let my mind, stress, and brutal standards for myself take over.

I used to have an eating disorder.

Back then, I would never acknowledge that’s what it was, the words too difficult to even think in my head. I never CALLED what I had a disorder. Instead I used words like hardcore dieting, choosing healthy options, and on the bad days I was having a “Free day“- though most people’s free days didn’t include 4 stops to 4 different fast food chains, followed by 2 boxes of cereal, followed by candy bars, followed by liquor, followed by pastries, followed by immobility. And often followed by vomiting. Read More »

Bulimia and Anorexia are old news. Isn’t it about time for a new type of disorder to grace the covers of our magazines? Well, thanks to a professor at the University of Iowa, girls all over the country now have another potential eating disorder to worry about: Purging Disorder.

Wait, I thought bulimia consisted of purging after eating large amounts of food? So, what’s the difference?

According to news reports, “The disorder is similar to bulimia nervosa in that both syndromes involve eating, then trying to compensate for the calories. What sets the disorders apart is the amount of food consumed and the way people compensate for what they eat. Women with purging disorder eat normal or even small amounts of food and then purge, often by vomiting. Women with bulimia have large, out-of-control binge eating episodes followed by purging, fasting or excessive exercise.”

Still confused? I was too.

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