But head honchos at Texas A&M don’t agree.

The University, in attempts to cut $60 million of their budget campus wide, is hoping to remove $82,000 from their budget first by leaving the dormitories sans TP.  Yep, that’s right. Texas A&M is not stocking dormitories with the one thing we really need on a Sunday morning (after extensive partying, the discovery of cheap vodka and the obligatory late night burrito).

Associate vice president for communications, Susan Sherylon Carroll says, “We looked at what areas can we cut and not negatively affect our students’ academics, and it was that.”  Really, Susan Sherylon? You really think not having potty essentials to clean up shop isn’t going to negatively affect all of the students who are consuming DORM FOOD? (And speaking of food, if they’re taking away TP, can you imagine what sort of cuts they are making with the grub? Um, ew.)

I have a firm belief that not being able to wipe (or sprinting to buildings where they can) is going to affect any students studying rituals and academic performance. 

Let us brainstorm.  I’m sure there are a ton of other things they can remove from the life of a college student that is not going to negatively affect their academic performance (or force them to drip dry….).  How about all of those fancy ‘University’ magazines they send out to families, that weird salad nobody eats in the caf, the inflated salaries of the worst professors on campus, gas expenses for those little maintenance cars that push people off sidewalks on the way to class, or the vice president’s assistant salary?

We’re in a recession, I get it, but there’s got to be a better way for universities to cut their losses than by taking away students’ rights to wipe. I mean, if we’re already stooping this low, what’s next? Shower curtains? Indoor plumbing? Charging for office hours? Come on!

There is no doubt that in some way or another, every person out there has been affected by the economy. Between businesses getting shut down, people getting laid off, or the millions who are losing their homes, the list of disasters seems endless. But we, as college students, are not immune.

We all know that there have been some crazy budget cuts for colleges, but did you know what that means for you? Any idea what might be coming next for your school?

Just ask the cheerleading team at Florida International University. Oh wait, never mind. You can’t, because as of this week, they do not have one. That’s right. The nationally recognized cheerleading team, currently ranked fourth in the country, has been eliminated as part of an effort to cut 1 million dollars from FIU’s athletic budget for the coming school year.

Pete Garcia, the director of the university’s athletics departments, said, “The economy has forced us to make some very tough choices. Unfortunately, FIU athletics is neither immune to the current economic conditions or to the fact that the university, in general, has had to cut prominent programs across the board.” And the pom pons aren’t the only thing to which the FIU students have to say goodbye, because the marching band is also being cut. The school has also eliminated degree programs, increased tuition by 15%, and has been laying off staff as a result of their $35 million budget gap!

FIU is certainly not the only school out there that has been forced to make drastic changes. Schools in Arizona aren’t doin’ so hot either, as the three state universities face a 30-percent reduction in state aid (more than $300 million dollars!). ASU is considering laying off 2,500 employees, doubling tuition, and shutting down one, or maybe even two, of its campuses. “We could eliminate the nursing school, journalism school, the law school, and the engineering school and still not meet these cuts,” Michael Crow, president of ASU stated.

Awesome.

These situations are truly awful and the consequences of them are even worse. With program cuts, students will lose the privilege of what college is all about: having the opportunity to study whatever you want. And as far as the athletic department cuts – well, for many schools, the sports, the spirit, the screaming is what brings the students together and eliminating part of this department eliminates the community aspect of college life.

BUT, life isn’t about moping. We just have to know that these things have to happen, and hopefully they are for the best. Sometimes it takes sacrifices to make things better (or, you know, keep things afloat). So, it may not be easy or ideal, but it IS an important life lesson: learn to adapt.

See, they can’t cut everything.

The peanut crisis is getting worse. And I just ate a PB Power Bar. Oy.

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