No, that is not me. I'd never get drunk enough to wear a belly shirt.

I went back to Syracuse for homecoming weekend and effectively destroyed any part of my liver that was still functioning. While I had an amazing time reuniting with friends and walking to the bars while shivering in the pouring rain (man I’ve missed that Syracuse weather), I also learned that I’m officially not a college kid anymore. I honestly don’t know how I spent four years drinking every. single. weekend. on little to no sleep.

By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around I was curled up in fetal position nibbling on saltines and sucking on ice chips. All I wanted to do on the drive home was shut my eyes — which I would have done if the passengers in the car I was driving hadn’t objected so strongly.

The drunker I got, the more tired I got of having to answer the question, “what are you doing now?” So I began telling people I’m a graduate student at DeVry University and handing out a playing card as my business card. It didn’t take too long for people to stop asking me about my employment status. I did almost start a fake pregnancy rumor about myself but then refrained just in case karma hit me hard and I actually turned out to be with child. However, the pregnancy rumor would have explained why I threw up in the morning. Morning sickness sounds a lot more mature than a hangover. Read More »

Maybe it’s that time of the month, and you don’t really care if it’s 2 in the morning—you just really want a freaking cookie. Now.

Maybe you’ve had a little puff of some wacky tabacky and you’re feeling pretty hungry. And even more lazy.

Used to be that these were major problems. Unless you live in a major city—ex that—unless you live in New York, there’s not a chance you’re getting that cookie at such an ungodly hour. In my Connecticut town, the police pull people over who are out after 10 PM. It rocks where I live…

For a select few cities, late night munchies are no longer a problem. Well, if you want cookies that is. Some brilliant students from UPenn have brought us Insomnia Cookies—a delivery service that will bring freshly baked, warm cookies right to your doorstep between the hours of 8PM and 2:30 AM.

Students from University of Syracuse, University of Michigan, Illinois, UMD, UPenn, Penn State, and of course, NYU can indulge in chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, sugar cookies, a cake sized cookie, a cookie with three different flavors… the possibilities are endless. They’ll even bring you milk to dunk everything in. Yuuuuuummy. Read More »