In this new series we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer for a month as she takes on a personal challenge. This month we’re following Lauren from University of Michigan. She’s going sober for the month of February and will be sharing her ups (like feeling great last weekend!) and downs with us each Saturday.

It’s official: I’ve been 100% sober for a full two weeks! (I’ve even opted out of using mouthwash!) While that may not be such a big deal to some people out there (ahem, mean commenters, ahem), I am really, really proud of myself. Especially after the week I’ve had.

My first week of this challenge was pretty easy, breeezy Cover Girl. The weekdays flew by and then I was back at my parents’ house, where the temptation to drink was pretty minimal. But since then, I’ve survived a steakhouse dinner without wine, a Super Bowl party without beer, and two very serious nights at the bar without shots, shots, shots, shots shots.

On Thursday night I hit a low key bar with a few friends. They sipped on some beers and I sipped on some Diet Cokes. We were all having a great time – talking, catching up, giving guys the eyes across the bar. I really didn’t miss drinking at all, especially when I only spent $3 the entire night (unlike beer and vodka, Diet Coke has free refills at the bar!). But it wasn’t totally smooth sailing; LMFAO came on the jukebox towards the end of the evening, which, as we all know, makes you want to drink. Or chug. I was starting to cave. I was having a hard time remembering why I was doing all this. Seriously, Had Ke$ha or Miley come on next, I probably would have had to run out of the bar screaming. Instead, I took a little sniff of my friends’ SoCo Lime shots, grimaced, and instantly felt better about my decision.

I woke up on Friday and felt great. Not only did I hang out with friends and have a great time, but I didn’t feel like total hell. And I was really proud and happy to know that I can indeed stay in the social scene, even if I’m sober. That knowledge made me feel good and took away my nerves for last night’s adventures.

Because while Thursday was a test, Friday night out with my crew is akin to a Bob and Jillian Last Chance Workout. Minus the sweat and the puking. OK, maybe just minus the sweat. These kids take their partying really seriously and know they can always count on me to do the same. They are the reason that I hadn’t made it home before 5am ONCE during the month of January. They are the reason I often do nothing of substance from Friday to Monday. They’ve perfected the art of peer pressure (by throwing a little Jewish guilt into the mix) and I didn’t know how they’d handle Sober February. Plus, how much fun could I have if they were wasted/dancing on tables/punching me (which the guys like to do when they’ve had a few…)?

But I wanted to hang out with them and I really wanted to see if I could handle it sober. So I went. We met up for dinner at 6:30… and I didn’t come home until 3 a.m. And I did it all without a lick of alcohol (even though my girl friend did offer to let me “suck her ice” out of her vodka soda… every time she had one). I drank water, I danced, I joked… I even took a shot. Of Diet Coke. Which my friend got for me so I didn’t feel left out when everyone else was throwing them back.

It was a seriously great time! I was shocked. I mean, I thought I would have fun hanging out with everyone, but I never thought I would have had as great a time as I did. I never even got annoyed by the drunk people around me; instead, I kinda enjoyed looking at the drunk world through sober colored lenses. And, seriously, Erotic Photo Hunt is SO MUCH easier when you’re not seeing double.

The best part of my night, though, was coming home, stripping off my skinny jeans (which are definitely feeling looser already!), and being able to close my eyes and go to sleep without the room spinning. Well, that and the late night pizza slice I picked up that I was able to actually taste, savor and enjoy. Mmmm mmm gooooood.

This is the strangest story I’ve heard all week.

Meghan McCain’s got a nice rack.

Usher’s ex wife is out to get him.

Bad romantic comedies teach bad dating habits.

What are Lady Gaga and Beyonce planning?

You go, Taylor Swift!

But then, I was driving home from a concert and heard a gem from the past on the radio (“My Neck, My Back” by Khia, anyone?). This led to a conversation with my friend about songs that we used to listen to in middle school that we definitely shouldn’t have.

Seriously, it’s amazing how many songs somehow slipped under my Mother’s radar in middle school and managed to taint my twelve year old ears.

So, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make a playlist with all those little ditties that we all LURVED in school, even though we most likely weren’t 100% sure what the lyrics really meant.

My Neck, My Back – Khia. Obvi. But seriously, WTH? I know they didn’t play the unedited version on the radio, but this sh*t was just NASTY. I don’t really care to hear about your penchant for having your you-know-what licked, Khia. Thanks.

What’s Your Fantasy? – Ludacris. I thought I was the coolest girl on the bus in 8th grade when I used to blast this shizz on my Walkman (oh, those were the days). Everybody’s favorite part: “Rough sex, make it hurt…”

Too Close – Next. You’re makin’ it hard for me….enough said.

2 Become 1 – Spice Girls. I think I vaguely understood the meaning of 2 becoming 1 back in the day (Two souls coming together? Aw!) But, giving the song a second (okay, millionth) listen a good 10 years later changes everything. Those sneaky, sneaky little Spice Girls.

Nookie – Limp Bizkit. NO. clue.

When The Lights Go Out – 5ive. I remember handing out this single in the gift bags at my 6th grade birthday party. Bet everyone’s parents appreciated that.

Touch It – Monifa. Ima show your body what your tongues doin’ wrong…This boys shyness got me wet like crazy…I want it more and more when you call my name and spank me. Really, Monifa?! REALLY?

Nice and Slow – Usher. I just wanna take it nice and slowww….

No Diggity – Blackstreet and Dr. Dre I remember the DJ spinning this track quite frequently at “Teen Nites” at my junior high. Right along with..

Pony – Ginuwine. Can’t get much more direct than “I’m horny, let’s do it.” I remember telling my mom it was about dancing.

How Many Licks? – Lil Kim. Okay, Kimmy, now I know you weren’t talking about Tootsie Pops.

Listen to the entire dirty mix (besides Monifa – guess no one really cares about her) here!

Any songs you remember from your younger days that you can’t believe you actually were allowed to listen to? Leave them in the comments!

We knew it was dirty, but can it be blamed for the rise in oral herpes?!

Get sexy cleavage. Rar.

Get Michelle Obama’s style.

The Bachelor defends his douchey decision.

And the new Bachelorette is revealed. Ooooo!

Usher is not a Chris Brown fan.

Got a lot of friends? You’re gonna be rich!

At Purdue, cheaters never prosper.

Denim jackets are baaaaack.

Hollywood’s most unpleasant celebrities.

Jennifer Aniston is over the Botox.

Cutest wellies ever.

The 2009 Golden Globe nominations are in.

Get free stuff. Woohooo!

Health effects of smokin’ the pot.

Usher’s got a baby boy. Who is gonna be HOT.

The secret to making any outfit amazing.

What is Google thinking?!

Is Tim McGraw running for Governor?

Oh. Crap. Step away from the TV when playing with the Wii.

Nobody wants Bronx Mowgli’s pictures.

10 signs you should dump your dude by New Year’s.

Meredith Viera embarrassed our cute Matt Lauer on national television.

Herbs aren’t always healthy, but we all knew that.

Disney has produced yet another child-craving-the-porn-star limelight.

Why do pretty women get everything? Even the writing jobs?

There are no more stores to enjoy, not even the electronics kind.

Try on this belt for size.

Hollywood is hogging all the babies, well just Angelina and Madonna.

Starbucks may be smarter than we thought.

Usher can turn me on any day.

The list of the 25 Best Colleges is out. Is your school on it?

Gwen Stefani: Mama 2.0 Even Olympians get sexiled.

The 10 most popular over-done tattoos.

Worst baby names of all time.

MTV promotes eating disorders.

You are invited to Miley Cyrus’s Sweet 16!

It is a sad world when the only place women are in control is on some crappy reality show. On Fox.

Forever 21 is ruining society as we know it.

Fashion designers hate fat people women over a size 6.

This makes us laugh.

Should these really be considered Olympic sports?

There is something so hot about the thought of meeting some guy – preferably one that looks like Usher – and being so into it that you can’t even wait to get home. You just gotta go to it. Right. There.

I don’t know if I’d be quite uninhibited enough to do it “on the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor.” I know that Usher “don’t care who watching,” but, really? The bar? Isn’t that a teensy, tiny bit…public? Plus, I got thrown out of a bar last month for making out in front of the bartender; I can only imagine what the bartenders would have to say about me grabbing onto the beer taps in a fit of pleasure.

Maybe somewhere a bit more….secluded? Like a hallway? Or the kitchen? Once it’s closed, of course; no one wants that going on near their nachos. I’d consider the bathroom, except that I did try that once and it wasn’t too successful. There is always a giant line in the ladies’ room and the boys’ bathrooms are just too f-ing gross. Not to mention the fact that dudes at a urinal sorta ruin the mood.

Coat rooms are key. I would totally make love in the club in the coat room. Or behind the DJ booth. Right by the speakers. And the bass. (What? Did I go too far?)

Now, I just need to find someone make love (to) in this club. Someone that looks like Usher… or sorta does after a few shots.

[Delicious photo of Usher courtesy of streetknowledge.wordpress.com]

Okay, so the lyrics. The main chorus claims, “I wanna make love in this club” over and over. Does that sketch anyone else out? I wasn’t aware that doing the dirty in a club was considered acceptable these days. I mean, can’t we make love when we get home from the club? You know, a little bit of privacy is always good. Or at least avoiding the promise of getting arrested. Usher doesn’t “care who’s watching,” but I think I might.

I was just starting to look past the lyrics and appreciate the song for its danceability, when Young Jeezy chimes in, sounding angry and vindictive and claiming that he’ll, “bag you like some groceries.” No thank you. He wants to “make a movie, yeah, rated R,” but I kind of think if we were making love in the club, the movie would be rated at least NC-17.

We’ll just have to wait for Usher’s full-album, set to hit stores this spring and hope for some more hits like “Yeah!,” “Caught Up,” and “You Make Me Wanna” (and that’s not “You Make Me Wanna Make Love in This Club”). And for now, we can get down to the new single, welcoming back Usher’s smooth voice and trying our best to ignore the lyrics.

Well, maybe it wasn’t so much that he “dumped me” as he “never responded to any of my Craigslist ads.” And maybe he wasn’t so much my “boyfriend” as he is the 4 million or so guys in the Tri-State area who never responded to my post. I mean, one of them could be *the one,* and if he weren’t such a pussy we could be married right now with five boys and five girls.

Hmmm. Maybe I should leave that last sentence out of my next ad.

I shouldn’t be so down on posting a Craigslist ad for a date. You can learn so much by doing so. For example, did you know that guys named Remington still exist and you ONLY meet them through Craigslist?

And then there’s Jared. Sweet, earnest Jared. Jared who started his response to my ad with the philosophical “I don’t know what I want to do with my life …. but I recently discovered who I am.” I sometimes wish I knew what that was, Jared. But I still don’t regret throwing your email in the virtual garbage.

For me, Craigslist dating is the product of months of consistently good — albeit non-controversial — Craigslist experiences. After all, it is through Craigslist that I met the self-described “Big Ed” who sold me his used TV for cheap. And that charming hemp-smoking nurse who delivered and furnished my room with her son’s crappy used furniture.

The only logical next step is to try to find some nice, cheap, barely used love.

The one problem with posting an ad on Craigslist is that you have to be willing to confront your own bigoted tendencies. I used to think that I was all about equality, but there are entire sects of the male species that I dismiss for the smallest reasons.

I now know that I am prejudiced against obsessive “lol“ers, guys who send pictures of themselves with their pet snakes, and anyone who commutes from New Jersey. And anyone named Remington. You know who you are.

There are people who look down upon those who try to find love through Craigslist. Mostly tall, willowy models and Usher. Or other hot bitchy people who have the time and money to go to a New York City bar and “meet someone.” I don’t have time for that. I’m juggling two jobs and an entire season of “Lost” on dvd. It’s called prioritizing.

And until I have finished said season, it’s all about trailblazing for the cause of Craigslist dating. That and finding a used printer. Any leads? Anyone?