Whoever said Thanksgiving was a time for family harmony obviously never met the Van Der Woodsen family. I mean, my god, how insanely brilliant was that Thanksgiving feast! It was like the best 7 minutes of Gossip Girl ever. From Vanessa yelling at her uber annoying mom, to Jenny and Erik (“I think your sweet potatoes are bland.” BURN!), to all that extramarital affair business down at the other end of the table, I was jumping off my futon! And to have Jason Derulo playing in the background as it all went down?

I almost died.

And the episode just kept getting better and better.  The only sore spot was that awful puppy-dog look Dan kept giving Vanessa.  Mr. Humphrey, a quick word of advice: do not get involved with that one again. Not only will you risk that awesome friendship, but you will have girls around the country shielding their eyes and yelling “Stop!” whenever you and Vanessa kiss onscreen.

I know – she’s gotten a lot cuter and her fashion choices have definitely improved this season, but I’m still not lovin’ her. It’s bad enough she gets to roll around naked with Chuck Bass in real life; don’t make me steal my other TV boyfriend in Gossip Girl life.

But enough about those two; the real drama award of the day goes, once again, to Serena Van Der Woodsen.  WTF is up with this girl? She’s making it incredibly difficult for me to like her anymore. (I’m pretty sure her wardrobe is the only reason I’m holding on.) It’s like she’s trying to make the worst decisions of all time. OK, I get it. Tripp is sexy, but hooking up with a married man is something I’ve been frowning on lately (especially since I started studying Clinton and Lewinsky in my journalism class). And does she have any idea how ridiculous it would look if some Congressman left his wife and his career for an 18-year-old girl who never went to college?! Although, seeing as she’s still sporting those awful press-on nails, it doesn’t seem like Serena understands ridiculous anymore.

If only Lily had known what she was inviting into her home when she invited Maureen’s woman’s intuition over for Thanksgiving.  That is one crazy wife…she’ll do anything to keep her man.  And that means running away with him, blackmailing with make-out elevator videos, and maybe hitting Serena in a car?  But we’ll find that out next week.

Maybe Serena should just stick to college boys… you know, like poor Nate Archibald.  Instead she’s treating Nate like nothing almost happened last week, hooking up with his cousin (in a freaking elevator) and running away with him instead. Maybe Nate should have told her his feelings without his shirt on…

Oh sorry; got carried away there for a moment. Anyways, this episode left me with a lot of burning questions and they all better be answered fast:

Where was Lily when she was supposed to be engaging in some mother-daughter bonding?
What does Erik have up his sleeve to ruin Queen Bee Jenny?
What on earth is in that damn letter from Doctor Van Der Woodsen?
And how on earth could Lily Van Der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey (whatever her name is…) be wearing the same jacket at Tripp’s wife? This is the UES, after all.

We better get some answers soon.  Otherwise, there will be some serious Christmas drama on the horizon.

You know you love them.
XOXO.
GGR (Gossip Girl Recapper)

PS. DOROTA IS PREGNANT!  HOW CUTE IS THAT!!!!

But I do follow GG fashion. It’s cute, it’s fashion forward… and it’s so expensive I think my entire college tuition could be paid off in one of Blair’s Chanel ensembles. But regardless of price tag, I want it.

So imagine how happy I was to see that kick-ass designer Anna Sui made a “Gossip Girl” look for Target. (Sure, some people aren’t sure about it, but I am. 100% sure, in fact.) From great fall dresses paired with opaque tights and riding boots, to perfect over-size cardigans, Gossip Girl Fashion + Target = one “damn I look goooood” me (and you).

From dresses to tops, Anna has some great and, most importantly, affordable looks for fall.

So shop happily, ladies!

XOXO,
BS
(That’s Budget Stylista not bullsh*t. Just wanted to clarify.)

The Girls:

I love Gossip Girl. Ever since I heard Kristin Bell’s first “xoxo” back in 2007, I’ve been hooked. GG’s got it all: drama, scandal, hot men, and adorable outfits. The thing about those outfits, however amazing they may be, is that they can be super expensive. So, when I heard that Anna Sui was designing a Gossip Girl inspired collection for Target, I had high hopes and was immediately excited. I even contemplated camping out at my neighborhood Target American-Idol-style the night before the line was released. But after spotting the collection online, I’m torn.

Love it:

Variety – I love that Anna decided to make a collection that showcases the style of all four Gossip Girl ladies: Blair, Serena, Jenny, and Vanessa. With the GG line, you have the opportunity to mix and match with different pieces inspired by each character, or just pick your favorite. I don’t know about you, but some days I’m a Blair and the next I’m Vanessa, so I like a collection that takes this change in style into account.

Price – Though specific prices for Anna’s collection haven’t been announced yet, it’s making it’s debut at Target, so it will definitely be budget-friendly. I might have loved the Marc Jacobs Joelle dress that Blair wore to the white party, but I most definitely do not like the price tag, or the fact that it is now sold out.

Wearability – Although I would love to be able to prance around campus in 5 inch stilettos and shirts dresses everyday a la Ms. Van Der Woodsen, it just is not practical for me. Short hemlines + tall shoes = disaster waiting to happen. Luckily though, Anna Sui found a way to emulate S’s (and B, Little J, and V’s) style in a more everyday fashion. It would be so easy to pull on any of these dresses over tights, leggings or a hot pair of socks and make them your own.

Loathe it:

Translation – Although the collection has some great looks, many of the pieces seem to have been lost in translation, or don’t fit the character’s they were inspired by. Whether this was an attempt to keep costs down, or if the design team only watched a few episodes of Gossip Girl, I’m not sure. Whatever the case though, some of these outfits are just plain weird. Serena’s outfit with the fitted bermuda shorts with bows and a vest, Vanessa’s puffy vest, Jenny’s textured tights and tie-up shirt, and pretty much all of Blair’s looks just don’t get it right; something’s off. (Perhaps the designers?)

Lack of pants – Gossip Girl by Anna Sui (or whatever they’re officially calling this line) undeniably offers some great skirts and dresses, but that’s pretty much it.  What about the skinny jeans? Shorts? Leggings? I realize that most of the outfits on the show are feminine and formal, but Serena, Vanessa, and our favorite bad girl Georgina most definitely rock pants from time to time.

Vanessa’s Looks – Why oh why are all of V’s outfits the same shades of brown, orange, and yellow?! Though she doesn’t have an Upper East Side sense of style, Vanessa’s outfits on the show are still colorful and generally pretty cute. Or at least different! Liquid leggings, a denim mini, and hot pink patent Doc Marten’s? That’s Vanessa. 70′s print orange and brown? Not so much. This girl loves neon!

So, Anna’s line is definitely slightly flawed, but it’s also the closest I’m ever going to get to an UES wardrobe. I’m so torn. What do you think??

XOXO,
CollegeCandy Girl

"I'm sorry I tried to ruin your life to get onto Page 6"

After a two-week hiatus (WTF, CW?) Gossip Girl returned last night. I don’t know if I can handle any more breaks, but OMG, was it worth the wait!  As the weather changes outside, so are our friends from the Upper East Side.

First, let me start by saying how happy I was to see Cyrus again!  That little bald nugget of a stepdad is one of those gems (like Dorota) that make Gossip Girl sparkle.  Especially since Dorota was off falling in love and Vanessa was MIA, too!   She finally gets a good storyline, AND a backbone, and suddenly she’s nowhere to be seen. Was that delicious plotline with her and Chuck just a tease? WAS IT?

And with Rufus deciding to close down the art gallery, where is she gonna brew her coffee? What on earth is going to happen to V?

Also, can I just say that I am secretly really happy that the economy is affecting GG, though a bit peeved that it was the Humphrey’s that got crapped on. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of wealthy people out there who were hit hard in this recession, so why is it the “poor” Brooklyn family that gets it? And, being that they are in a bit of financial ruin, why would Rufus care about Dan getting a job? And why doesn’t my dad feel that way? But secretly Dan did get a job, and how cute did he look in that uniform?  Presh.

And what a coincidence that everyone ended up at the same Seder dinner.  Thank god they did because it was the one of the funniest meals I have ever witnessed (and I’ve seen some doozies).  Though it seemed nobody was ready to sit through the typical seven-hour meal, it was fun to watch Dan be Eleanor’s bitch boy and nice to see S and Lonely Boy teaming up, since their chemistry is so cute.  But I don’t know how I feel about this Gabriel character…  I fell in love with his hunkiness, but what are he and Poppy cooking up? Did Serena and him really get married, and he’s just playing it off, or is that just my imagination running wild? (GG tends to do that to me.)

Of course, there was some drama away from the seder too. Mostly involving Blair and Nate. I was ready to throw my remote at the TV when B was ready to sacrifice her boyfriend’s future for a picture in the style pages. (And might I add – Nate looks really good when he’s standing up for himself. Mmmmm.) Really, Blair? Have you learned nothing from all your scheming? But then, in true GG form, there was a twist, both Blair and Nate (thanks to Chuck) had an Aha Moment and they ended up in an adorable embrace before the episode ended.

Last night’s episode was on of the best in a long time (and not just because it’s been 2 weeks since the last one). It was funny, it was dramatic, and it is totally opening up a lot of doors for next week. I just can’t wait for the return of my favorite villain, Georgina. I hate her so much that I can’t help but love her!

So what did you all think of the show?

To me, a lot of characters regressed in this ep. I’m not shunning last night’s 43 minutes of soapy rich-kid-ness, just making an observation. When we first met Serena, she was a former party-girl elitist who was trying to make a fresh, less-shallow start. Yet, last night, S was all about being the “cool kid” once again, no matter the cost of Jenny’s feelings. She plans a Sweet Sixteen bash for Little J, and then is obviously hurt when celebutante Poppy smirks at her social calendar. Haven’t you grown beyond that, Serena?

Jenny, after dabbling in the high-class fashion biz for a few eps, wants a low-key, family-only party (complete with Rufus’ famous homemade chili), and Serena concedes. Until the lame-o cliquesters announce that they had their own party planned all along. So, unbeknownst to birthday girl Jenny, Serena decides to reinstate the bash she’d originally planned. How second-season Blair of you, Serena.

Meanwhile, Vanessa and Nate are on the rocks while Blair tries to rekindle an old flame. Vanessa and Nate have a rather yawn-worthy breakup sesh, and Blair seems set on getting Nate… or is she really just set on getting someone a bit safer than Chuck? This leads to Vanessa allowing her own integrity to plummet, when she snogs the ever-ready Chuck to make both Nate and Blair jealous at Jenny’s big bash. I loved when Nate called V out on succumbing to Blair’s old games.

Blair herself has a childish scene in which she throws Nate on the bed and insists that he’s not leaving until they figure out if they are just friends or not. I mean, yes, throwing Chace Crawford on a bed is every girl’s dream, but who comes up with lines like that? Blair is the creme de la creme, yet she’s suddenly chasing her ex like an attention-starved puppy. WTF, B? You’re better than that!

Now, as any GG fan knows, every episode revolves around some sort of shindig. Last night, Jenny’s 16th was the big soiree. And last night was also the first night that the party actually looked like a high school bash. And by high school bash, I mean cheap keg party, which sends Poppy packing (apparently socialistas frown upon table dancing and unprotected sex in neighboring bedrooms?) Feeling bad for Serena’s awful life, she later invites S to Spain for the week. Because that’s always my solution to drunk girls table dancing at my friend’s house.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Did anyone else feel bad for Jenny when both the Van der Woodsen AND Humphrey clans ganged up on Jenny on her own bday? Even Eric! Yeesh.

So basically, Serena acted like an attention whore, Jenny rebelled by inviting the entire freshman class, and Blair pursued Nate like an insecure tween. With several random plot lines scattered in between (apparently the supposedly dead illegitimate son of Lily and Rufus is trying to reach out to Dan. What?!).

Because I am a tried and true Chuck Bass fan, I have to say I like where the Vanessa-Chuck subplot is going. They clearly had some chemistry at the beginning of the season, and now they are putting up fronts to find excuses to shack up. Now THIS is the juice I love in my GG eps! For real- when Vanessa was trying to sneak out and told Chuck that “last night didnt’ happen,” Chuck replied with,”Then neither did this,” and gave her a passionate, morning-breath smooch. They are so falling in love.

Honestly, I thought they could have ended the ep right there, but instead they had to depict the Nate-Blair rekindling, which obviously isn’t going to work out. I think they should just rename the series, “Chuck Bass Weekly” and go from there.

Anyone else feel my sentiments? Or blatantly disagree?

Okay, every other time I’ve written about screaming at the TV during Gossip Girl is officially taken back. Because tonight was the night for throwing sh*t in the living room during obsessive fits of GG excitement.Warning to fans who missed the episode (and if you did, I hope you had a good excuse – like finding Chace Crawford naked in your dorm after class or something): there will be spoilers in about two seconds. Major. Spoilers.

Before I get to the real juice, can I just ask if anyone else noticed the “dress” Serena wore to Eleanor and Cyrus’ wedding? Girlfriend needed some pants. Or at least the rest of her skirt.

Yes, tonight was a night of new beginnings in the wake of the death of Bart Bass. The funeral prompted Cyrus to ask Eleanor to get hitched ASAP. It prompted Lily and Rufus to plan to admit their love, and for Serena to encourage Lily to run off with Rufus. And it prompted Serena to run off to Buenos Aires with Aaron. And Aaron to tell S. that he’s falling in love with her, which might have been more romantic if it didn’t immediately follow his suggestion that their first time together be in the airplane bathroom.

But seriously, all that is trivial. Tonight was Leighton Meester’s chance to shine, as ALL the good parts centered around Blair.

Obviously, Chuck is a mess after losing his dad. He and Dan have a showdown at the funeral, where a wasted (would we expect anything less?) Chuck tells Dan that Bart’s death was Dan’s fault. It was actually refreshing to see Ed Westwick have a chance to expand his acting range beyond that cold, throaty whisper he always uses. Anyway, Blair is trying to be there for Chuck, and chasing him, and chasing him… and THEN.

Chuck: You are not my girlfriend.

Blair: But I am me. And you are you. Blair and Chuck. Chuck and Blair.

Blair: I will stand by you through anything.

Chuck: Why would you do that?

Blair: Because… I love you.

Chuck: Well, that’s too bad.

Okay, readers and GG fans. Take a minute to scream, throw pillows, jump on furniture. This recap will continue when you’re ready.

Tonight’s ep made waiting for “the words” to come out totally worth it. And Chuck’s douchey response was more than perfect. Wait, why would “Well, that’s too bad” be perfect? Because it sets up the NEXT best scene of the whole CW season. Towards the end of the ep, Blair walks into her bedroom to find Chuck sitting on her bed.

“What are you doing here?” she demands. And he turns to look at her, and looks like total sh*t. And then she holds him. The bitchy Queen B. and the heartless Chuck Bass with tears streaming down his face. Now that, my friends, is teen drama at its finest.

Of course, GG can’t end there. Lily’s mom pays a visit to Rufus, to convince him not to go off with Lily. Though the Blair-Chuck scenario takes the cake by far, the question of what Lily was really doing in that hospital keeps popping up. It seems that Mrs. Van der Woodsen lets the cat out of the bag, in order to convince Rufus to stay away. When Rufus goes to meet Lily, he only has one question. “Was it a boy or a girl?”

I guess since I usually put the old-people plotlines on the backburner, I took it for granted that Lily had probably tried to pull an Eric and kill herself. Was it for an abortion after all? Nice curveball, writers, and just enough of a shocker to get our minds off of Chuck and Blair for a second…

That is, until the ep cuts to Blair, waking up in her bed to a note from Chuck that reads, “I’m sorry for everything. You deserve better. Don’t find me.”

And now we’re expected to wait until January 5, 2009.

Thank you, GG writers. You’ve officially made it impossible for any of us to sit down, crack the books, and get ready for finals.

Last night’s GG episode was pretty freaking juicy. Within the first 30-seconds, we knew what party (the Senior Snowball) would be the scene of all of the cut-throat drama, and the snowball just kept rolling from there.Here’s the rundown (of the first 5 minutes):

Blair doesn’t know who to bring the Snowball, Serena meets Aaron’s ex-slash-Dan’s-instant-Snowball-date (who wants to bang Dan… go figure), and Vanessa is acting shady… could it be because after stealing Nate’s letter to Jenny, she’s been creeping with Sexkitten Archibald? After that spiel to Jenny about friendship coming first? Oh, snap. You know Gossip Girl is going to spill that news.

In other news, one of Blair’s cliquesters, Penelope, gets a lot of screen time in this ep, as she commissions the out-of-work Jenny to make her dress for the Snowball. Penelope, I know you and Jenny aren’t friends, but you should take the stick out of your a** before asking someone to do you a last minute favor. Just saying. (Editor’s Note: And didn’t Jenny get back at Penelope by designing the ugliest dress of all time? Seriously? That sh*t was nasty.)

After GG publicizes a smooch between V and Nate, Penelope serves as a driving force behind J’s revenge scheme…because, after all, “Vanessa shouldn’t be fishing in ‘her’ pond.” Apparently Penelope didn’t get the message that Nate is over the Rich Clique, after being on Blair’s tight leash since pre-school. Also, she kinda sucks.

Though Jenny and Vanessa deserve credit for their brief catfight, Blair and Chuck steal the show (yet again) when they make a bet and agree to find each other dates to Snowball. If Blair wins, she gets access to Chuck’s limo for a month. If Chuck wins, he gets Blair’s maid. Wasn’t slavery abolished a few hundred years ago? Not in Waldorf world? Okay, just checking.

The Snowball finally arrives, and Blair and Chuck have set each other up with the most Chuck- and Blair-esque kids in school, respectively. How ironic when their pawns end up falling for each other? Vanessa dons a see-through dress to the ball, courtesy of Jenny Humphrey’s bitchy side. And, just as planned, the whole school sees right through it. And the world ends.

Seriously? I don’t think that’s that bad– I mean, for one, it’s not like Vanessa decided to skip the skivvies, and she happens to have a hot bod. How is barely a semi-flash to the school comparable to a Janet Jackson experience? Was there a nipple slip that I missed while spooning the last of my ice cream out of the carton?

So, Vanessa cries, and Nate is disappointed in Jenny. Vanessa and Nate get a couple of heartfelt monologues, fueled by plenty of tears, and sealed with an almost sexy smooch (there was dripping snot/tears, which sorta ruined things for me).

Meanwhile, Chuck asks Blair to dance:

“What’s the point, Chuck? We’re never going to be them.”

“I don’t want to lose what we have.”

“What do we have, Chuck? Tell me.”

“Tonight.”

Now that is the shizz GG is made of. Where were the Chucks of the world when I was in high school?

Also getting their moment of sap, Dan and Serena have a sex talk about moving on from their long-dissolved relationship. Just in case anyone out there actually cares about Dan’s pathetic sex life. Yawn.

Can we get back to Chuck? After Lily confesses to Rufus that she’s going to divorce Bart, Chuck has yet another moment when he tells Lily that she was good for the family, and that he always liked her, no matter how she acted.

Speaking of Bart: just as someone was rumored to die tonight, Lily gets a phone call. Mr. Bass has been in an accident. And we won’t find out what happens for another whole week. But when we do, it’s gonna be even juicier.

Early in the episode, Blair commented to Dan, “Look who finally got a little interesting.” Meh. Dan’s still boring old foot-in-his mouth Lonely Boy to me, but Jenny! Jenny is the Humphrey who finally kicked it up a notch tonight.

Tonight was one of those nights where I screamed at my TV like a maniac. We got new characters, tons of partial nudity, and two fabulous lust stories unfolding, all in approximately 42 minutes of screen time. Chuck and Blair are still playing games, and daring each other to say the infamous “Three Words.” And you know what? I want them to freaking say it already!

Blair is so desperate, she’s taken to Lonely Boy for advice. And he delivers: “Keep your pride and get nothing, or take a risk, and maybe…maybe have everything.” Of course, Dan can’t walk away when he’s on top, so he sabotages Blair after Debbie-Downer Vanessa tattles on Blair and Chuck’s love games that she got served last week. Dammit, Dan!

Meanwhile, Jenny’s been hanging out with one of Eleanor’s models, Agnes, who keeps pointing out that Eleanor is just using Jenny. Agnes has the perfect solution: let a 15-year-old high school dropout start her own fashion line! Not that that would be the most ridiculous storyline that GG has offered us. So Jenny decides to go Brooke-Davis, swipes her designs from Eleanor, and jets off to take her top off with Agnes and her sexy photog friend. Because what would GG be without some gratuitous baring of flesh?

Another sexy addition to the GG cast this week is Aaron, the new artsy dude in town. He’s got his eye on Serena, and there’s definitely a connection, which prompts Aaron to present Serena with television’s most AWKWARD date invitation, ever, followed by television’s most bizarre post-rejection riddle, involving “Cecil the Caterpillar.” We later come to discover that “Cecil” is a reference to Serena’s days at European summer camp, and that she and Aaron might be fated (at least, for the time being). If I’ve lost you, don’t worry- it’s just another excuse to catch up on what I think is the steamiest ep to date.

Blair and Chuck’s game of horny cat-and-mouse came to an emotional pause tonight, when Chuck told Blair that once they say the three words, it will be the beginning of the end. What would become of Chuck and Blair holding hands? Chuck and Blair going to the movies? I have to admit, Chuckie has a point… but that doesn’t mean I didn’t scream, “Say the f*cking words!” repeatedly as tears streamed down Blair’s face.

Just when I thought the show couldn’t end on a better note, Nate busts in on Jenny and Agnes’ topless tea party and drags her naive ass out of there. Jenny asks Nate why he cares what she does, because, you know, he’s not her dad and he’s not her brother… but that only leaves one protective male role for Nate to play: her new lover!

Yes, friends, you read right! Jenny and Nate! Jenny and Nate! Jenny and Nate and a newly babe-ified Taylor Momsen with Chace Crawford’s hands all over her skinny ass. If I have to wait a few more episodes for some steamy Blair-and-Chuck booty calls, I will settle with the next best thing, which is our precious Little J getting the hottest piece on the whole show.

I wonder what breakfast is going to be like at the Humphrey house tomorrow.

Bart and Lily decide to play a little role-playing game and make the Bass-Van der Woodsen clan more akin to the Brady Bunch than the Kardashians. Curfews? Family dinners? You know that’s not going to last long.

Vanessa’s trying to raise some money to save a bar from being demolished, and decides to play the Game of Blair. That is, she threatens to blackmail B with a saucy photo of Duke Marcus and his skanky stepmom (remember them? Has it been so long since they fled already?), which brings me to the first red-hot GG quote of the night:

Blackmailing seems to work for you, so I thought I’d give it a try. Now that we’ve established that I own you, you have 6 hours to get 1,000 signatures.

Oh, Vanessa; you can pass “GO” and collect two million dollars for that move.

In Humphrey news, Dan literally starts playing a new game: soccer. If you missed last night’s episode, you missed Lonely Boy begin his transformation into Jock Boy, the ever-faithful sidekick of sexy Nate Archibald. But yes, Dan made the soccer team, and yes, it gives him more excuses to play with his new mancrush, Nate.

Of course, the best game of the night is Blair’s Cruel Intentions-style bet with Chuck that he can’t seduce Vanessa…and then leave her behind, humiliated, of course. But, of course, if you’ve seen any teen movie involving bets, wagers, and the “cool” guy hanging out with the “loser” girl, you know the outcome. Although, these movies usually involved Freddie Prinze, Jr. and NOT Chuck Bass.

In the meantime, Eric introduces Serena to his new boyfriend (so precious!), and Dan discovers Nate’s secret– that he’s been squatting in his foreclosed apartment, alone. Trying to keep up with his wholesome family image, Bart convinces Eric not to bring his new beau to the Bass-Van der Woodsen housewarming party, while Rufus opens his home to poor, sexy Nate.

If you guessed that Vanessa’s revealed Chuck’s soft spot, you guessed right. Chuck visits the bar she is trying to save and instantly connects with V’s friend Horace. And, because every week, GG culminates in a party that is breeding ground for drama, he invites Vanessa, which gives Blair a chance to steal V’s phone and delete the picture of Marcus and Catherine (remember, this all started with a bit of blackmail).

Blair’s animosity towards Vanessa spikes when she sees Chuck grab her hand. Is this still a bet? I don’t think so. And neither does B, who tries to call off the bet with Chuck and then throws herself at him saying that he’s won, and can collect his prize. Did I mention B put her body on the line here? She seems more than happy to “lose” this one as she waits for Chuck in a sexy red bra-and-panties ensemble.

And as with most CW shows, the last five minutes are the juiciest:

I didn’t think Chuck was going to show. Then he did. Then I thought he would deny Blair right away. Then they started going at it. (Editor’s Note: in a rather porn-ish scene! Daaaayummmm.) Damn, 0-for-2. Then, the line that blew my mind. Coming from Chuck: He asks Blair to say the three words she asked for earlier this season. The three words. The eight letters.

Blair can’t (or won’t) say them either, and Chuck calls her out for wanting to hear them from him. B tries to cover, saying she’ll settle without the words. But the joke’s on Blair now: Chuck’s over her.

I’ve chased you for long enough. Now it’s time for you to chase me.

Game. Set. Match. Chuck Bass, ladies and gentlemen.

Three episodes into the season, and we’re just now getting into Back-to-School season. Hence, the lavish drama-inducing party is replaced by upscale bars that serve teenagers, and the Colorful-Martini-on-White-Dress shtick from the Vitamin Water party is replaced by some sort of acid formula that burns the victims’ hair right off her scalp. Ouch.

Am I getting ahead of myself? Here’s what you need to know: Serena and Dan are each having qualms about seeing each other back at school, while Blair and her drones are preparing for their yearly initiation of potential newbies (which Jenny failed at last year). This creates the perfect set-up for new character Amanda’s entrance. Just as Blair explains to Serena that whomever dates first wins, bam! Dan bumps into Amanda, which can only have a tragic outcome.

Obviously, Blair has to intervene, which causes Serena to suggest a threeway. No, not a menage a trois, but a date between herself, Dan, and…Amanda. As if Dan’s fifth grade half-wave in the quad wasn’t awkward enough. The three-way date quickly turns into a foursome when Serena enlists a meathead to try to make Dan jealous…to no avail. And what do hot socialite girls do when they are horribly rejected? They hide their hurt feelings with vengeance.

But let’s jump to the first shocker of the night: Catherine and Marcus. Like, you know. Catherine and Marcus. Poor Vanessa thinks she’s got the ball in her court when she snaps them pre-nooky with her iPhone. But she’s no Waldorf, and that’s going to come back to haunt her. And Nate.

As Serena tries to hide her broken heart from lonely boy, the “old” Serena begins to make a comeback. Most notably in the line, “If this were a competition, I wouldn’t need Blair and her posse to win.” Ouch, Dan, them’s fighting words.

Of course, Serena really doesn’t need B and Company to win… because Chuck Bass is still lurking in the background. Which brings me to shocker number 2: Amanda is one of Chuck’s many, many pawns in his game of Upper East Side Chess. So Amanda’s a phony, Serena’s the new queen bee, Blair’s sent both Marcus and Cougar Catherine packing, and amidst everyone’s personal drama, nobody’s realized that Chuck holds the ball in his court.

Welcome back, bitchy Serena. Just when we thought your story line was getting dull.

Just one more thing: What is up with the geeky Asian Ugly Betty chick, and why does is she part of Blair’s posse?

Bow down or bow out, kids. Things are about to get ugly.