To celebrate my decision, I’m using this week’s DIY to share an incredible buttercream frosting recipe with all of you. You can use it to frost a cake, cupcakes, cookies . . . or to eat it straight out of the Tupperware with some pretzels when you’re dealing with a breakup. Stop buying this stuff and make it yourself.

Ingredients
(Makes enough buttercream for one standard-size cake with 12-16 servings)

1/2 cup vegetable shortening (such as Crisco)
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
4 cups confectioners’ sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 cup heavy cream

Buttercream it up:
Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and shortening together until creamy. Add the sugar and keep beating until the whole mess is pretty well blended. Then add the remaining ingredients, blending on low speed until moist. When combined, whip that mixer into high speed until the frosting is fluffy.

Want to know why this frosting rocks? Besides the fact that it tastes great, it’s sooo easy to customize it. You can dye it any color imaginable with food coloring and use it to decorate. Want mocha buttercream? Add instant espresso powder or a few tablespoons of coffee and about 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder or a few ounces of melted chocolate. Want an almond or orange or lemon flavor? Throw in almond extra, orange juice, or lemon zest.

Since the frosting is somewhat stiff, it’s also strong enough to hold up bits of fruit, nuts, or cake toppers. So you can stick a mini cookie on top of each cupcake or use big fresh strawberries to line the border of your cake, too. Could there be anything better?!

Before you dash off and make this, here’s a bonus decorating tip: those frosting tips they sell at the store are really nice, but if you’re pressed for time and don’t care too much about absolute beauty, pile your buttercream into a Ziploc bag and clip off the corner. You can then use the bag to pipe the frosting, just like a fancy Food Network star.

Enjoy!

We’ve all heard about aphrodisiacs and the supposed boost they can give to our sex lives. I hate to burst your bubble, but most sources say that there is no such thing as an aphrodisiac. Regardless, I decided to go through some of the most notorious aphrodisiacs and anaphrodisiacs to let you decide for yourself. Hey, it couldn’t hurt…

Oysters – Most sources deem this one as pure myth, but there are a few that find some truth in the claim. According to MSN Health and Fitness, an American and Italian study found a compound in oysters that may increase testosterone and estrogen production. A professor from Harvard, however, denounced this as complete poppycock. And we all know, what Harvard says, goes.

Chocolate – Every source I have looked at have attributed the chocolate/love connection to the Aztecs, so I thought I would give them the credit as well. Chocolate increases levels of serotonin and phenylethylamine, neurotransmitters in the brain that are known for their feel-good properties. Many liken this effect to the feeling of being in love, which I can say with confidence, is entirely true. Like most women, I love chocolate and transfer that love to anybody who will supply me with my daily (okay, hourly) dose.

Alcohol – This is the only one that has been attributed to being an aphrodisiac and an anaphrodisiac at the exact same time. Let’s break it down.
Pros: Reduces inhibition and increases confidence, making it feel like a boost in sex drive. Add that to the beer goggle effect and you’re ready to go.
Cons: Alcohol actually makes it harder for you and your partner to achieve orgasm. Plus, you run the risk of being a victim of the I-think-I’m-sexy-but-I-actually-look-terribly-sloshed look.

Vanilla: This is my favorite scent ever. And, according to a visitor on the Tyra Banks Show (an extremely credible source), men also go crazy for the sweet aroma as well.Vanilla.com (which I daresay, may be a tad biased) goes so far to say that the scent increases penile blood flow. I don’t know how accurate that is, but I do know that this scent is definitely yummy.

And now the rumored anaphrodisiacs, AKA the sex drive killers:

Licorice: A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that some ingredients in licorice actually suppress libido by reducing testosterone production. According to the article, “It’s about as effective as smoking a marijuana joint,” whatever that means. If you need to prevent weekend “mistakes,” however, don’t turn to the disgusting black candy for the same effect. Black licorice uses anise oil for flavoring instead of licorice oil, so you gotta go straight to the source if you want to see results.

Graham crackers – According to Slashfood.com, graham crackers were developed to lower sex drive. The inventor, Sylvester Graham, believed that food sitting in the stomach for a long time could increase sexual desire (apparently a bad thing to Sylvester). Thus, he decided to make graham crackers, a healthy snack that contains minimal fat and therefore, does not linger in the stomach for too long. In fact, the same idea inspired Kellogg to make his Corn Flakes cereal.Hey, I’ll take any excuse to eat more fatty foods.

Nicotine: This highly addictive substance can decrease sexual desire and even result in impotence, according to The Book of Aphrodisiacs by Raymond Stark. Smoking cigarettes makes you smell gross anyways, so put down the cancer stick and get busy.

Although these aren’t really proved in science, I think I’ll add beans, onions, and garlic to that list. What are your personal (an)aphrodisiacs?

a) The 100-calorie packs are often more than twice as expensive per ounce as the products they mimic.

b) In meeting the 100-calorie limit, the snacks or sweets inside the packs are sometimes pale imitations of the originals. The 100-calorie Oreos, for example, are 20 mini “chocolate thin crisps.”

c) Smaller portions don’t make snacks good for you, especially when they are as highly-processed as 100-Cal Packs.

Still, as Americans, we have issues with self-control. I can go through a box of Cheez-Its in three days and think nothing of it, until I look at the box and realize I averaged about 5 servings of Cheez-Its a day. So, when a small package helps me know when to stop, I dig it. I do agree with above comment on the 100-calorie Oreos: these are a waste of money. So, friends, what follows is a list of my top five picks. All of these are so tasty, I thank my lucky stars that they are measured out for me in 100 calorie intervals.

1. Mr. Salty Chocolate Covered Pretzels.

I hadn’t eaten a chocolate covered pretzel in years, until I found these things. Classic salty pretzels dipped in milk chocolate. Yum! These snacks satisfy my chocolate cravings and only pack 3.5 grams of fat into the 100-calorie serving.

2. Frito Lay Baked! Cheetos.

At first, I tried the regular 100-cal pack of Cheetos. The day I discovered the baked version, I think unicorns fell from the sky. Baked Cheetos are a snack that I don’t allow myself to buy big bags of, because I will eat a whole bag in one sitting. Since I actually prefer Baked Cheetos to the regular brand anyway, I have since become addicted to the 100-cal bags, which only have 5 grams of fat content. I’m actually quite impressed with the entire Frito-Lay line of 100-cal packs, which also includes Sun Chips, Doritos, and Smartfood Popcorn.

3. Klondike Slim-a-Bear Ice Cream Sandwiches.

Cold, creamy Klondike ice cream sandwiched with chocolate, available in chocolate and vanilla flavors…and only 1.5 grams of fat. The only thing better would be if Ben and Jerry started marketing 100-calorie cartons of Cherry Garcia (of course, this will never happen, because 100 calories of B & J is probably equivalent to half a teaspoon). Also worth checking out are Breyers’ 100-calorie Double-Churned Ice cream Cups and Ice Cream Sandwiches.

4. Hostess Cupcakes.

These were my first foray into the 100-calorie world, and it blew my mind when I realized that each pack consists of 3 mini cupcakes. They come in several flavors, e.g. yellow cake, chocolate cake, etc., and even with the signature cream filling, each pack is only 3 grams of fat. How each mini cupcake can consist of about 33 calories and one gram of fat and taste just as good as the real thing, I have no clue.

5. Hershey’s Snacksters.

I’m including both varieties of these packs in the last slot for my five fave 100-cal packs, because they are very similar, but produce two different craving-killing tastes.

The chocolate Hershey’s Snacksters are made up of cereal puffs, chocolate chip cookies, and semi-sweet and milk chocolate chips; the Reese’s Pieces version includes cereal puffs, cereal squares, peanut butter chips, and Reese’s Pieces. I expected a trail-mix-like recipe for these packs because, let’s be serious, there’s no way an all-chocolate-and-peanut-butter snack can stay under the 100-calorie limit and at 4 grams of fat. But the cereal puffs are either chocolate or peanut butter, and the chocolate or peanut butter chips are a pleasant surprise in addition to the real seller: the cookies or Reese’s pieces. The cereal bits also help fill you up, and you’ll feel indulged without feeling like a beached whale.

[Photo courtesy of junkfoodnews.net]

Newsweek recently uncovered the six most fattening ice cream flavors (Personal note: there wasn’t any real news to cover, Newsweek? Like the upcoming elections, the crumbling economy, or the War on Iraq?). Here are the results of the study, with my personal opinions on whether 6 hours at the gym is worth a scoop or two.

1.Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter: 360 calories, 24 grams of fat

This should really come as no surprise. Chocolate+Peanut Butter= guaranteed muffin top. But it’s sooo good! Still, 360 calories will take about half an hour of vigorous cardio on a CrossTrainer, and can you really trust yourself to stop at the teensy half-cup serving?

Fight this craving with: two frozen peanut butter cups.

2.Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby: 330 calories, 20 grams of fat

Umm, did anyone EXPECT fudge-covered, peanut-butter-filled pretzels, swirled in vanilla malt ice cream and rippled with even more fudge and peanut butter to be healthy??? Sure, Ben and Jerry might be a perfect rebound after you spied your ex at the bar with the dorm sleaze, but you won’t be able to fit into your skinny jeans after more than a bite or two.

Fight this craving with: a 100 calorie pack of Mr. Salty chocolate-covered pretzels.

3.Haagen Dazs Butter Pecan: 310 calories, 23 grams of fat

First of all, Butter Pecan is a flavor my grandmother would go for. If I’m even going to think about spending the next month working off an ice cream binge, it sure as hell won’t be because I gave in to freakin’ Butter Pecan.

Fight this craving with: uhhh, anything with chocolate in it?

4.Sheer Bliss Pomegranite with Chocolate Chips: 320 calories, 20 grams of fat

I’ve never even heard of this, but I’m already drooling on my keyboard. Aren’t fruits supposed to be good for you? Damn your misleading ways, Pomegranite!

Fight this craving with: a Pomegranite martini and a Hershey’s Kiss or two. Yeah, the martini packs a lot of calories, but the buzz beats out the fat content any day (or is that just the alcoholic in me talking?).

5.Ben and Jerry’s Vermonty Python: 300 calories, 19 grams of fat

I will give Ben and Jerry credit; they beat Haagen Dazs any day. But because they are the frozen gods of PMS-cravings, they offer far too many reduced fat options to justify getting a third of your day’s fat content from a serving that’s smaller than a tennis ball.

Fight this craving with: The low-fat version of Cherry Garcia or Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

6.Coldstone Cookie Batter: 300 calories, 16 grams of fat

I’d like to interrupt this column with a quick anecdote: for a friend’s bridal shower, I served Coldstone ice cream cakes, and they were worth every calorie-packed bite.

Sure, I’ve given you craving-fighting options that offer fewer calories, but who am I kidding? If you want Vermonty Python, you’re going to keep wanting it until you shove a huge, dripping spoonful down your throat. If you want Chubby Hubby, 100 calories worth of pretzels is not going to suffice. So throw the rule books out the window, grab yourself a scoop of ice cream, and celebrate having the balls not to count calories.

Anything in moderation is okay…and when you’re ready, treadmills and South Beach will be waiting to burn off every succulent bite. Enjoy!

The quintessential dessert of summer is the strawberry shortcake, and for good reason. There’s even a licensed character named after the dessert, for crying out loud. So when you make one, you want to make it good—and no, that does not involve picking up a four-pack of preservative-loaded, Twinkie-like “shortcakes” from Walmart.

What, you’ve never made your own shortcake before? Then you, my friend, are seriously missing out. Allow me to be your guide for your first foray into the world of better-tasting shortcakes—once you’ve entered, you’ll never look back.

For two nice-sized shortcakes (a little bigger than those store-bought lumps), you need:

• 2/3 cup flour

• a generous sprinkle (about 1/8 tsp) salt

• ½ tsp baking powder

• 1 ½ tablespoons sugar

• 1/3 cup heavy whipping cream

• ½ tsp vanilla

Preheat your oven to 350, and take out two separate bowls. In one bowl, stir together the flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar until it’s well combined. In the second bowl, whisk together the heavy cream and vanilla.

Make a well in the center of the bowl with your dry ingredients, and drizzle in the whipping cream mixture while you stir or whisk the contents of the bowl. This can be difficult to do by yourself, but it doesn’t really matter if you kind of mess it up. Shortcakes are forgiving (and delicious—oh, so delicious).

When you’ve poured in all the cream, you should be able to mix the resulting mass together into one big ball. If it’s too sticky, add a little flour (and if it’s not sticky enough, add a few more drops of cream). Using floured hands, separate the big ball into two smaller balls.

Grease a cookie sheet or coast it with parchment paper, and set the two shortcake balls on the sheet at least three inches apart (they will spread out a bit). Pop them in the oven, and about 27-30 minutes later you will have two lovely, beautiful, mouth-watering shortcakes that will be just dying for you to heap them with strawberries and cream.

It was my brother’s birthday earlier this week. Even though he’s thousands of miles away from where I am right now, I wasn’t about to pass up a chance to make and eat cupcakes.

He requested marble, so I improvised. These may not be as beautiful as the marble cupcakes you see in stores (OK, so they’re kind of globby, to be honest), but they taste better, and the melted chocolate is the finishing touch of magic that no store can give you.

To make 6 small cupcakes, here’s what you need: ½ cup flour, ¼ cup plus one tablespoon sugar, 1 tablespoon melted butter, ¼ cup very hot water, 1/8 tsp baking soda, 1/8 tsp salt, ½ tsp vanilla, 1 egg yolk, 2 tablespoons sour cream, about 1 ½ ounces of chocolate, and a tiny bit of milk or cream.

First, preheat the oven to 350. Combine the dry ingredients—the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt.

Next, combine the wet ingredients—the vanilla, egg yolk, butter, water, and sour cream.

Mix the two together. Get rid of lumps if at all possible. An electric mixer will make everything nice and fluffy, but it’s not necessary.

Finally, melt the chocolate. You can use the microwave—chop the chocolate into bits first if it’s solid, then pour in the tiny bit (1-2 teaspoons) of milk or cream into a microwave-safe bowl. Nuke it for about 45 seconds, then in periods of 15-20 seconds, stirring after each time, until it’s nice and smooth.

Fill your muffin tin or muffin cups with the batter, then use a knife to glop in the chocolate. You can stir it around inside each cup if you want, but it likely won’t dissolve much. It doesn’t matter. Your tastebuds will thank you later.

Bake for 30-35 minutes, then enjoy those pockets of melted chocolate. Mmmmmmm.

Cookie or cupcake? Cookie or cupcake?? Ahhh life is full of tough decisions. And since I am the world’s worst decision maker (I swear it’s the Libra in me), I just couldn’t make up my mind the other day. So I chose both.

No, I didn’t spent all day baking various desserts. I just made one and got both my treats. That’s right. I made Martha Stewart’s Chocolate Chunk Cookie Cupcakes.

What you’ll need to make 2 dozen:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar

3 large eggs

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/3 cup whole milk

8 ounces semisweet chocolate, cut into 1/2-inch chunks

How to make these cookie cupcakes:

1) Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line 2 standard 12-cup muffin tins with paper liners; set aside. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl; set aside.

2) Put butter and sugars into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, and mix on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy. Mix in eggs, 1 at a time, and vanilla. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture in 2 batches, alternating with the milk. Stir in chocolate chunks with a rubber spatula.

3) Spoon 1/4 cup batter into each muffin cup. Bake until pale golden and a cake tester inserted into centers comes out clean, about 20 minutes. Transfer cupcakes to wire racks; let cool completely. Cupcakes can be stored in airtight containers at room temperature up to 3 days.

And if you want the yummy chocolate buttercream frosting on top, simply,

1) Melt 9 oz. of semisweet chocolate.

2) Beat 1 1/2 cups of butter using an electric mixer on medium speed for about 3 minutes or until creamy and add 2 tablespoons milk carefully and beat until smooth.

3) Add the melted chocolate and beat well for 2 minutes. Then add 1 teaspoon of vanilla and beat for 3 minutes.

4) Gradually add in 2 1/4 cups powdered (confectioners’) sugar and beat on low speed until creamy and of desired consistency.

To make vanilla buttercream, follow the above, but leave out the chocolate part!

You’ll never have to choose between cookies and cupcakes again with this completely perfect combination. Now I’m off to think of other desserts I can combine with cupcakes to make my life a little bit more heavenly.

But the second time, after eating an entire medium cup filled with the “original” flavor (don’t call it vanilla, they get oddly pissed) and a few scoops of fruit, I thought, it kinda tastes like cold yogurt. Cold yogurt…but better!

Since then, I’ve been a regular customer at this low fat, low calorie chain. So regular, in fact, that I actually felt sad when the New York Times recently confirmed my suspicious that things which seem too good to be true — are.

Seems that even though Pinkberry totes itself as all natural, it really, really isn’t.

“The list [of ingrediants] includes at least five additives defined by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization as emulsifiers (propylene glycol esters, lactoglycerides, sodium acid pyrophosphate, mono- and diglycerides); four acidifiers (magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, citric acid, sodium citrate); tocopherol, a natural preservative; and two ingredients — starch and maltodextrin — that were characterized as fillers by Dr. Gary A. Reineccius, a professor in the department of food science and nutrition at the University of Minnesota and an expert in food additives.”

Damn you, Pinkberry! Damn you for letting me think I was eating a natural, low calorie snack when what I was really doing was stuffing myself with low calorie chemicals that will most likely cause my liver to shrivel and heart to explode in like 8 years.

Why didn’t you just stay in LA?!

As if I needed a reason to add another candle to my Sedaris shrine, Amy has also got the best recipe for cupcakes, ever. The directions are easy, the cupcakes taste good, and the way the recipe is written is pure Sedaris.

Amy Sedaris’ Cupcakes

1 1⁄2 sticks of unsalted butter

1 3⁄4 cups of sugar

Beat well, then add:

2 large eggs

2 Teaspoons of pure vanilla

1⁄2 teaspoon of salt

2 1⁄2 teaspoons of baking powder

2 1⁄2 cups of flour

1 1⁄4 cups of milk

Beat well, fill cups, and bake at 375 degrees for 18-20 minutes. You should get 24. I get 18, ’cause I’m doing something wrong.

Frosting

1 stick of unsalted butter

1 box of Domino confectionery sugar

1⁄4 cup half-and-half

1 teaspoon of pure vanilla

Whip for a while, color if you want.

She made it sound like such a clear-cut issue that I kept nodding and agreeing all through her diatribe—but then, as she reached the end, I realized that my bathroom cabinet is stocked with a lot of products that smell like food. I like those products.

The reason I didn’t voice (or even realize) my disagreement until she had gone on about the subject for several minutes was that I don’t even consider a vanilla-scented lotion or a mango shampoo to be food-like products. They’re made of chemicals, after all, so they don’t smell exactly like real vanilla or real mangoes. Even if they did, though, I still don’t think I would have a problem with them.

The difference, for me, lies between the overlap of a food product that is a great idea for the body and a food product that is a terrible idea for the body. Chocolate and vanilla, I think most people can agree, are appealing scents. They’re mild and soothing, and they’re often used to flavor other things rather than just standing alone. That, I think, is why they work so well for body products. When I smell vanilla, it’s nice. I want to move closer to the smell. So if a person smelled like vanilla, I wouldn’t mind getting closer to that person.

There are other food-related scents that I think the body-product companies have been wise to avoid. Pasta Bolognese, for example, as well as many other “main-dish scents,” if you will, are real food, food you would sit down and eat with utensils, and they’re much more overpowering. I challenge you to find the person who would want to scrub him or herself with surf ‘n turf body wash.

Since food-related body products bother my friend so much, though, I got to thinking. Dessert and spice scents seem to be the most acceptable, and I always thought they were appealing to almost everyone. I find nothing wrong with lathering my hands with cinnamon lotion or scrubbing my hair with strawberry shampoo or washing my face with an apricot scrub, but do other people? Is it really so weird?

CC readers, what do you say? Are food-like body products genius or awful?