I know you are probably eating lunch right about now, but I refuse to be the only girl who has to witness this frightening photo of Madonna. Seriously, what the eff is going on here?

1. Her arms, obvi. So. Gross. The combination of veiny muscles and saggy skin is enough to make me never want to do another push-up again. Perhaps Madge should join me in my boycot? Oh, and maybe consider long sleeves?

2. Her granny panties. Look closely enough and you’ll lose your lunch you can see Madonna’s skivvies poking up over the tops of her jeans. There are two things I don’t want to see on Madonna: her vajay and her undies. I guess I should be happy she’s wearing pants?

3. Her cleavage: Madonna is in good (or scary) shape for an old lady, but come on, woman! Put those things away. I know I can speak for all of us when I say “Put on a freaking turtleneck!”