Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Girls, on a park bench.)

Girl 1: … And he said he was afraid to sleeping with me!

Girl 2: I think he’s gay. Or not human.

Girl 3: Oh no! The cockroach clones again?

(Girls, talking at dinner.)

Girl: Today was horrible.

Girl 2: Yeah?

Girl 1: I had the worst headache. It was so bad, I couldn’t pee. Read More »

I know eating out of vending machines isn’t healthy.

My mom always told me anything that doesn’t go bad after three weeks is made out of stuff you shouldn’t put in your body anyway.

For the most part, I listened to her. But every once in a while…slipping a few coins in a tiny slot and watching that King-Sized Snickers plummet towards your waiting hands is truly the only thing that can get you through a day.

And then of course, the diet industry went and ruined everything.

Kraft Foods, the makers of that oh-so-natural bright orange cheese, have begun to test out vending machines that are stocked with only South Beach Diet approved options. Yes. South Beach Diet.

As in…lame alternatives for bread, sugar, and whole grains. Read More »

I came across “39 Tips for Writing An Amazing Final Paper” on funny-linkdump.stumbleupon.com. And they’re right on. Except there’s no mention of incessant facebooking. Just read ‘em. You’ll see what I mean.

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto AIM. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

Read More »