Remember my friend who wouldn’t break up with her boring – hot boyfriend? Well, don’t get all excited — they’re still together. But there’s been an interesting development. Another girl is actively vying for her Stan’s attention, and this girl is a total vixen: rich, hot and fearless (but mostly rich). However, she is also an empty bitch. Needless to say, my friend is a tad bit worried about the sanctity of her relationship and the integrity of her guy.

Thus, she’s become totally attached to him, won’t let him out of her sight and religiously reads his texts and e – mails to see if the Vixen has been calling (she even flew in last week to “visit friends” but ended up spending a little too much time with Stan).

I can only comfort my friend by casting her story as an Archie Comic. You know what I’m talking about: there’s Betty, the bubbly blonde pushover, and Veronica, the rich, bitchy brunette. And then there’s Archie, the cute, lovable guy that they squabble over endlessly without explanation (although I think it’s his freckles. Freckles are so… hot?).

While Veronica might always get Archie in the end, Betty is the true winner (when she’s not being a doormat and baking Archie pies). Because really, Archie is worthless — he’s nothing but a fine head of hair with an affable disposition. He’s a filler. He’s a trophy – boyfriend. The guy can’t make a decision to save his life. Betty is so much better off without him. If you ask me, it’s Jughead who has all the personality. Read More »