These boy-banders evidently refuse to give up. Sure, Nick Carter briefly dated D-lister Kathy Griffin, and A.J. McClean might’ve gone on Oprah to recount his drug addictions & battle with alcoholism, but these boys are all, (well, almost all, Kevin Richardson – the old one – opted out, wisely so) determined to reclaim the hearts of glittery prepubescent tweenies all across America.
Their first single, Inconsolable, is scheduled to be released August 27th, one day before my 19th birthday (evidently, this must be their twisted idea of an acceptable gift?)
Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but after their first three-year hiatus, didn’t they release that whiney desperate-ex-boyfriend-type song Incomplete in 2005? And apparently, they’ve run out of adequate song titles, and have now resorted to adding prefixes to any word that tickles their fancy. Read More »
So, you’re going out tonight. To a bar or party you know will have prospective hook-ups. That’s the whole reason for going out, really, seeing as how you’ve been so busy with that summer internship / job / getting ready for college that you haven’t had much time for a dude. Maybe you’re not necessarily looking for sex, buy some physical attention on a sweaty dance floor never hurt anyone.
Most people end up making out in public because they’re A) pretty drunk and/or B) really need some ass. Even those of us who consider ourselves slightly shy when it comes to PDA throw caution to wind after a few vodka tonics and one or two cuts from Michael Jackson’s Thriller.
It’s harmless, we tell ourselves (if we’re still of the right mind to do so) while making out with a stranger, everyone else is doing it! Read More »
Girls can be classified as bitches. Gay men can too. But can straight guys fall into the ‘bitchy’ category?
Yup.
The Bitchy Straight Guy is one of the most annoying categories of the male species. He comes in many different shapes and sizes; sometimes he’s a thin hipster with stupid hair (like Marcel Vigneron, a contestant on last season’s Top Chef), sometimes he’s a balding, pseudo creative type (like Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, from this season’s Celebrity Fit Club), and other times he’s a popped-collar, J-Crew sandal wearing frat dude (Chad Michael Murray comes to mind…at least in looks and based on that little marriage snafu with his costar).
The one link between these motley individuals? They’re bitches. Guys with all of the bark but none of the bite. Asswipes who get under everyone’s skin and then run if anyone tries to retaliate. Read More »
Oh Bryan, how many times have I secretly turned that song up in the car, letting that raspy voice of yours lull me into a romantic haze? You’re my secret boyfriend. And that song you sing with Sting (my other secret boyfriend) and Rod Stewart (who I don’t want to be my boyfriend at all) where you all urge me to make it “all for one and all for love” has the ability to transport me out of my cynical cloud for two whole minutes.
I’m not ashamed of my secret soft spot for soft rock. I’m not embarrassed that whenever a Backstreet Boys ballad mysterious turns up on my iTunes, I let it play out entirely, soaking up every syrupy sound wave. In this complicated world, soft rock is there to pretend things are simple. Love is love, heartbreak is heartbreak, and everyone is willing to die for a lifetime with their soul mate. After weekends full of “hey baby, why don’t me and you go into the bathroom and make out?”, it’s always nice to know Phil Collins is there, waiting to tell me he “can’t stop loving me” as many times as I feel like replaying the track. Read More »
Our friends at BestWeekEver show us that Gunnery Sergeant Harvey Walden IV is one pissed-off mofo. While it turned out to be one of the funniest on-air rants I have seen EVER, it was kinda funny that Dustin Diamond just sat back. Ironically, he didn’t even seems phased. “He’s not gunna fight me on national television,” pretty much summed up the incident. I mean, I know Screech owes a LOT of money to several banks as well as the IRS, but trying to get your ass kicked on TV so that you have a viable law suit seems a little excessive.
EVEN more entertaining, he challenges Walden (a career marine and former drill sergeant) to a UFC match. You know, those guys who put on paper thin gloves and beat the testosterone out of each other – yep!
I think it is a cry for help…Dustin we are here for you – but if you f**ng EVER challenge us like that we will kick you mutha f**ng a**, you hear us! We will put down this mocha late and wreck your sh** until your f**ng mother can recognize you…WORD!
A week to rest and relax and eat meals that aren’t take-out and do my laundry without shoving $10 worth of quarters into a slot. Yes, I thought as I made a nice lunch, this is going to be a great break.
Grabbing a few of my favorite Sunday magazines and a plate that consisted of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, grapes, and some delish Cape Cod chips, I walked onto my porch and prepared to eat outside while the quiet New England breeze serenaded me (a nice change of pace from the pee smell and whining dog that usually accompanies my lunches at home in New York).
As I ate, I began to sift through my magazines. Coincidently, both had cover stories about dieting. Both claimed to know The Best Diets! and What Foods To Avoid! while coaching me on How To Leave The Bad Carbs Alone! I don’t know if it was the plethora of exclamation points or the disgusting sounding alternatives the pages kept trying to force on me (“instead of ice cream, plain yogurt with bran flakes!”), but my appetite began to die and my stomach started to feel huge. Read More »
I got to thinking about Britney Spears, ironically, because of Stalin. I was sitting in my dorm in New Hampshire, newly painted toenails kicked up on my cluttered desk, leaning dangerously back in my chair, thinking about scapegoats and reading “Darkness at Noon”.
I don’t know if you’ve read this book, but it’s a little…dark…to say the least. But to make a long story short, this Russian guy is being interrogated deep in the bowels of Siberia somewhere, confessing to a bunch of crazy crimes. The big bad policeman, Ivanov or something equally Eastern European is telling the poor guy that history always needs scapegoats.
So what’s this have to do with Ms. Britney Crazy Pants-No Hair-Married a Doucebag Spears? Everything. Do you remember the good old days when we were all wearing cropped shirts (ew…were those good old days?) and singing along to “Hit Me Baby One More Time” back in 1998? Read More »
Jared Fogle, the man responsible for selling millions upon millions of delicious Subway sandwiches, is known for becoming spokesperson for the company while still attending college in the late ’90′s.
What we didn’t know, was that Jared Fogle was not only infamous at his college for eating nothing but Subway and losing over 200 pounds, but also for being the go-to-guy for whenever college students wanted some good ol’ porn.
Best Week Ever has uncovered Jared’s dirty little secrets. While attending Indiana University, he ran a pretty successful pornography business straight from his own bedroom, and apparently had a “wide” variety of porn videos, which he only charged a dollar to rent. Get it? Wide! Read More »
Whether you thought it was stupid or rushed home to watch it every day, Saved By The Bell is one of those shows no one can really hate. For some of us, it was televised preparation for things to come, for others, it was the pretty twin of the not-so-awesome high school experiences we were going through. The fashions, the catch phrases, the pinnacle “I’m so excited/I’m so scared” episode that even has its own remembrance T-shirt…Saved By the Bell will never really die.
I don’t usually watch Celebrity Fit Club, something about C List actors sweating and jiggling in front of a camera makes me sad, but today at the gym (how ironic!) I wasn’t in control of the television, and therefore found myself watching the show for 45 excruciating minutes.
This season’s Fit Club is nothing different than the previous two; personalities you forgot about trying to lose their love handles and badonkadonks in front of a national audience. It’s kind of like Survivor for fat, annoying people. But the most of annoying of the bunch is most definitely Dustin “Dick” Diamond.
What do you think about Screech?
Mr. Diamond is a perfect example of why C and D-list actors are where they are; they’re not good at what they do. Read More »
Backstreets back, alright!
“Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for
It was awesome to be home.
I got to thinking about 
Jared Fogle
Whether you thought it was stupid or rushed home to watch it every day, 
Reality Shows We Miss
Comedy is So In This Season
New Round of Shops at Target!
Unscripted With MIB 3
Most Controversial Comedies
