Sex Toy Shopping Pt. 1: Best of Show

23322756.jpgBreaking news: orgasms are fun. They’re so much fun, in fact, that the pursuit of orgasm is responsible for the vast majority of irrational human behavior, from the continued popularity of Jessica Alba to the purchase of clothing from American Apparel. (Dov Charney’s top secret marketing strategy: “Dude! Buy some ethically produced hologram pants! We’ll totally get you off.”) Yet, according to the 2000 Orgasm Survey, 72 percent of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their current or most recent relationship.

This, ladies, is unacceptable. If you’re faking, then not only are you depriving yourself of some much-needed enjoyment, you’re keeping your partner from learning what makes you tick. (The 2000 Orgasm Survey also revealed that 55 percent of heterosexual men thought their girls always reached orgasm. And why shouldn’t they? They’re used to the sound of our LIES.) The only good reason to fake orgasm is that you haven’t yet learned what you like. And we can take care of that problem. Yes, indeed.

Come along, gentle reader, as we browse the aisles of the pro-lady sex store Babeland, and point out the best of their stock. No two people come alike, but, having done substantial research in the Land of Babes, I can safely say that these toys are both popular and well beloved. If you’re looking to figure out your body, these are a good way to start. Read More »


Vibrators: the NEW adult “toys”

fishie.jpgSince it isn’t the real thing, I suppose it doesn’t need to look like the real thing? Right?

That’s up to you to decide.

And if you decide you’d rather receive pleasure from something that looks like an octopus at ” a rave,” or you’d like to get down in the bath tub with your bath time playmate…You have that option as well.

There’s somewhat of a stigma when it comes to women masturbating. It’s rarely talked about among friends, it isn’t as expected, if you will, as it would be if it were a man. So the fact that distributors are now creating vibrators that can easily be disguised as lipstick, comes as no surprise.

But can you imagine if you whipped lipstick out your purse for your Grandmother to borrow and her lips started vibrating?? Oh my. It may be tricky, but you have to be diligent about hiding it in the right place. Read More »


These Are Some Crafty Bitches: Indie Accessories & Clothes

cakebracelet.jpgGrowing up I always had a “Craft drawer”, full of pipe cleaners, beads, feathers, recycled greeting cards and colored tissue paper. I would spend hours “creating”, designing and making a promise to myself that ONE DAY, my creation would be as famous as Betsy Johnson‘s.

So, that didn’t happen- BUT I have managed to aquire impecable taste and have found some women who’s craft projects actually turned into careers. Plus, Urban Outfitters is nice, but I’d rather spend $40 dollars on booze, not a scarf. Lets support the small business’! Hollaa!

If you want to do the one-stop-shop thing, go to Buyolympia.com They have everything from T-shirts, jewelry, journals, books, and stitched gnomes . Also try:

Indie Designer Labels, then no one will be rocking the same outfit you did yesterday.

Now let’s get a little taboo shall we? Ladies, we need to “get ours” too. So many of my girlfriends are too scared to walk into a sex shop and ask where the Vibrators are, “High powered and maybe in the color pink, or purple??” They fear judgement, and scuzzy men. So why not buy online? Smittenkittenonline.com, won’t pop up with graphic porno ads and is easy to navigate: classy and modest. Go on, get down. Read More »


An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

orgasm

There are a lot of ailments I would consider to be terribly tragic. Today, I have added anorgasmia to the list.The inability to have an orgasm sounds like one of the worst things ever.

Orgasms are tension and stress relievers, sleep and pain aides and appetite suppressants. Basically, they are the human body’s way of saying everything sucks and this is what I’m going to give you to fix it… pure ecstasy.

Uh, thanks Mother Nature!

Just like all other ailments, there are many types of anorgasmia:

• Primary: Never having achieved an orgasm

• Secondary: Had one before, now the magic is gone

• Absolute: Tried every trick in the book and nothing works

Like the good ole days where doctors would bring a woman to orgasm to treat hysteria, doctors are now prescribing the vibrator as treatment for anorgasmia. I’d like to see that on my doctor’s prescription pad.

Not that I want to be an-orgasmic, but hell, trying to get my shoddy insurance to cover my latest sex toy could be a fun time. Read More »


I Touch Myself: A Girl’s Guide To Masturbation


Masturbation. Couldn’t someone think of a cooler term to describe getting yourself off? It sounds so … mechanical.

Regardless of the actual word, I masturbate. Yeah, I said it. And sadly, most girls really won’t throw it out there like that. For some reason guys can just talk about jerking off as if it’s part of their morning routine — “I brushed my teeth, took a shower, wacked off, got dressed and went to class.”

Um, that never happens if you’re a girl. It’s more like, “I’m heading to bed early tonight” a.k.a. “I’m horny and I have a date with my vibrator.” Sure, my friends and I have had that conversation where you let the cat out of the bag, and they all admit it too. But there’s always that friend who’s like, “Guys, that’s gross, I don’t do that.”

Yeah, right! How the hell have you never touched yourself? It’s part of being a girl; it’s only natural to explore your body. And if you want to enjoy sex, you should seriously learn what turns you on.

So for all of you that are in denial of your female anatomy and afraid of getting a little “dirty,” I found a great article to help you out. Just read it. Give yourself an orgasm and learn what you’ve been missing.