I would like to preface this letter by saying that your work has made a large yet incredibly skimpy contribution to my adolescent years. And while I do believe in the nobleness of your cause, I am rather puzzled by the method to the madness of such an invention. As I hold up the tiny piece of fabric that is my underwear, several questions come to mind, such as:
Which came first: The thong, or “The Thong Song”?
The first time I heard The Thong Song, I was 11-years-old. Try explaining to a sixth grader, still under-clad with flower-print Hanes granny panties, the concept of a thong. Watching a leprechaun of a man do cartwheels on the beach doesn’t really do that good of a job of explaining the exact science behind the thong. In fact, I’m pretty sure I thought he was singing about summertime footwear up until 2001, when I realized I needed to wear this contraption to be socially acceptable.
I would like to preface this letter by saying that your work has made a large yet incredibly skimpy contribution to my adolescent years. And while I do believe in the nobleness of your cause, I am rather puzzled by the method to the madness of such an invention. As I hold up the tiny piece of fabric that is my underwear, several questions come to mind, such as:
• Which came first: The thong, or “The Thong Song”?
The first time I heard the thong song, I was 11-years-old. Try explaining to a sixth grader, still under-clad with flower-print Hanes grannie panties, the concept of a thong. Watching a leprechaun of a man do cartwheels on the beach doesn’t really do that good of a job of explaining the exact science behind the thong. In fact, I’m pretty sure I thought he was singing about summertime footwear up until 2001, when I realized I needed to wear this contraption to be socially acceptable.
• Where the devil did you get this genius idea?
Was it a public service project? Did you see one too many VPLs (Visible Panty Lines, for you not-in-the-knows) and proclaim “I’ve had it! I’m inventing buttless underwear!” To you, Mr. Thong Inventor, going commando just wasn’t an option. Now that point I can understand, as I probably have not washed my jeans since the opening night of “Sex and the City.” And who really likes walking around with that “I’m wearing the pant equivalent of dirty underwear” feeling all day? Yeah, neither do I. So really, Mr. T.I, you were the answer to my laundry-lazy, VPL-phobic prayers.
• How the hell did you get it to catch on?
No seriously. It takes pure skill to get a woman to try on a permanent wedgie, let alone make it a long lasting trend in the sexy lingerie industry. Think about it: it’s a tiny scrap of cotton, satin, silk, or pearls (hey, I dunno what kinda stuff you’re into…) that is designed to chill between your butt cheeks all day. But women still go crazy for them! They even tease other women that don’t wear their underwear up their ass. Read More »
When I was a plus sized beauty my biggest gripe was that there was never anywhere to go shopping. I was a size 18-20W and I felt horrible in just about everything I owned. It seemed the only stuff I could find in my limited price range made me look like a sack of potatoes. Nothing was ever flattering. Nothing ever quite right.
I don’t want anyone else to have to live like that. Looking fabulous is everyone’s right no matter what size! So here are some shops (online and at the mall) to visit to find that inner-whatever-your-personal-style diva.
Remember ladies: Don’t be afraid to mix and match. Just because you can’t find a top to those jeans at that store doesn’t mean there’s not one for you at the next. And if it doesn’t make you feel fabulous, it’s not worth buying.
Yeah, this is a no brainer. I didn’t start this list off with Lane Bryant because it’s the most fab place, but because it does have something that every girl needs. A good bra. Vicky’s (Victoria Secret) can get kind of pricy for us larger busted ladies and I found that LB had a good quality product for an excellent price. But don’t discount them too quickly. They have some cute separates and are a good place to get old standbys (i.e., black pants, solid colored tees, dresses) to outfit your wardrobe. The prices are a little more on the high end but the clothes are well made and well worth it. Read More »
Rather than doing my laundry I often find it fun to buy new things…particularly underwear. I know I’m not the only one, either. Laundry day or Victoria’s Secret? C’mon.
Granted, it would be much cheaper to wash, but I digress.
Just yesterday I hit a low point in my stack of floral, striped, polka dot, lace, days of the week undies, and even every thong…so I headed out in search of spankin new skivvies.
I found myself at Urban Outfitters (it’s always fun running through Urban, checking out the goods but lately I’ve noticed EVERYTHING is a play on Vintage. I work in Vintage clothing sales and it’s hard to buy a “Vintage” looking top when you know five girls on the street will be wearing it too).
I’m getting away from my point — back to the underthing situation. I grabbed a sweet little lace forest green bra (so cute and comfortable) and three pairs of “Smack” underwear in solid shades of yellow, blue, and purple. I was excited, the colors were muted and the cotton felt soft.
Limited Brands, a Columbus Ohio-based company that owns Victoria Secret, has announced that their immensely popular lingerie store is going to come out with a line of logoed sweat pants, tank tops and panties for 33 colleges, including UCLA, Harvard and University of Michigan.
Apparently this idea isn’t going over too well at Ohio State, whose Buckeye logo we won’t see slapped on the ass of any Victoria Secret product any time soon. It probably wouldn’t have been such a big had not the company been based in the same city that houses OSU, or if OSU rival Michigan wouldn’t get the Vicky Secret treatment.
So why is Ohio State going to be deprived of that rarest and proudest of honors? Well, because the CEO of Limited Brands, Leslie Wexner (who is a guy) is on the board of Trustees at OSU and feared a conflict of interest. In fact, last Spring OSU president E. Gordon Gee, (whose initials, I have to point out, spell EGG) stepped down from the board at Limited Brands for similar conflict of interest issues.
It all sort of sounds dirty and incestuous to me, made more so by the fact that some old dude is the head of Victoria Secret. In my mind, Victoria looked a lot like Dynasty-era Joan Collins. Read More »
This video about John McCain calling his wife the C-word should insult me. But it doesn't. Instead, it makes me laugh (if around others, listen to it with earphones ON)
I couldn’t rightly tell you. It’s one of my favorite swears. One of my favorite terms of endearment. It looks so good italicized. Plus, it sounds pretty fantastic coming out of someone’s mouth.
Don’t get me wrong, bitch can be completely derogatory, especially when it’s said with malice, or spoken by a guy to describe a girl, but is there really anything better than walking into a room and greeting your girlfriends with a rousing yell of hey, bitches! ?
Darlene Mealy, a Brooklyn member of The New York City Council, thinks there is. What’s better than using it as a term of endearment? Eradicating it all together.
Explaining that the word carries with it “a paradigm of shame and indignity”, Ms. Mealy has introduced a measure against the word, a measure that has the support of 19 out of 51 members on the council.
Even while she declares bitch a “vile attack on our womanhood”, Mealy admits that if the measure passes, it will almost be impossible to enforce. Which of course begs the questions of why. Read More »
I live in New York. It takes a lot for me to get sketched out. I walk by a legless ventriloquist who sings Sinatra on my way to work and have witnessed a mouse jump from my TV and land smack inside a potato chip bag I had eaten out of only moments earlier. Strange men say things to me almost daily, and feeling someone lean in too close on the subway is more than an occasional occurrence.
This web site is exactly what it says it is: a place where people (men mostly, I’m assuming) can help woman buy plastic surgery—boob jobs being the highlight. (Although it also advertises “Gummy Bear” implants. Which I can only guess would be…actually, I can’t guess. I’m afraid to.)
Chicks upload photos of themselves, and creepy men look at those photos and talk to them about how big they want their new boobs and how much money they need to raise. Women can put “personal items” up for sale (let your imagination go wild on that one, I’m sure you’re right), and men can request “custom photos of [their] favorite girls” in “specific outfits”. Read More »
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Dear Mr. Thong Inventor,
When I was a plus sized beauty my biggest gripe was that there was never anywhere to go shopping. I was a size 18-20W and I felt horrible in just about everything I owned. It seemed the only stuff I could find in my limited price range made me look like a sack of potatoes. Nothing was ever flattering. Nothing ever quite right.
Rather than doing my laundry I often find it fun to buy new things…particularly underwear. I know I’m not the only one, either. Laundry day or Victoria’s Secret? C’mon.
Limited Brands, a Columbus Ohio-based company that owns Victoria Secret, has announced that their immensely popular lingerie store is going to come out with a line of logoed sweat pants, tank tops and panties for 33 colleges, including UCLA, Harvard and University of Michigan.
I live in New York. It takes a lot for me to get sketched out. I walk by a legless ventriloquist who sings Sinatra on my way to work and have witnessed a mouse jump from my TV and land smack inside a potato chip bag I had eaten out of only moments earlier. Strange men say things to me almost daily, and feeling someone lean in too close on the subway is more than an occasional occurrence.
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