When I was a kid, my friends and I would make jokes about Victoria’s Secret: the bra cups are infused with chemicals that will permanently make your boobs bigger, any male who buys gifts there actually gets an amazing discount, the mysterious “Victoria” is actually a man who is selling his personal lingerie collection.

Well, earlier this week, Victoria’s Secret finally got out. It’s not pretty, it has nothing to do with being sexy, and it’s not even the least bit funny.

On Wednesday, Bloomberg Markets Magazine released an investigative report linking the lingerie company to child labor practices in West Africa: Victoria’s Secret manufactures its cotton underwear in Sri Lanka, using textiles made in factories in India; a portion of those fabrics use cotton picked in the country of Burkina Faso, a landlocked country that was supposed to produce organic, fair trade cotton. Victoria’s Secret originally entered into the production deal in 2007 with the goal of ”improving the lives of some of the world’s poorest women and children through the responsible sourcing of cotton,” yet was unknowingly exploiting children and endorsing the practices they aimed to fight.

The article follows Clarisse, a 13-year-old child laborer who was pulled out of school to work in cotton fields, doing everything from carving plots that span the size of four football fields to fighting away harmful bugs usually controlled by inorganic pesticides, all while barefoot and susceptible to 100-degree heat during the summer planting season. And what happens if Clarisse gets tired and slows down? Let the farmer himself share his genius technique: “I sometimes beat her…This is when I give her work and she doesn’t deliver.”

The parent company Limited Brands released a statement:

“If this allegation is true, it describes behavior that is contrary to our company’s values and the code of labor and sourcing standards that we require all of our suppliers to meet,” the statement said. “These standards expressly prohibit child labor.” CNN reported that the company claimed to have immediately “began working with key stakeholders internally and externally to fully investigate this matter…we are prepared to take swift action to prevent the illegal use of child labor in the fields where we source Fairtrade-certified organic cotton in Burkina Faso.”

Though the news is shocking to those at VS headquarters, the practices are nothing new to farmers and regulators in Burkina Faso. The U.S. Labor Department has repeatedly cited the country for the worst forms of child labor, while the State Department has done the same regarding child trafficking to conventional cotton fields there. Somehow, this flew under the radar; even Fairtrade International, the world’s largest group of its kind, certified that Burkina Faso’s organic crop met its standards.

Some people are saying that though not all of VS’ cotton supply comes from Burkina Faso, the company should be boycotted; Victoria’s Secret should’ve been more aware of their own contracted labor practices, even if fair trade officials weren’t. However, others argue that it’s just another part of American consumerism that we customers blindly support.

For example, if you wear jeans, use eye shadow, or own a pair of gold earrings, you have at least 8.3 slaves working for you — according to Slavery Footprint, a new online campaign launched in collaboration with the State Department’s Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, created to raise awareness of modern day slavery. Here’s another not-so-fun fact: there are more slaves in the world today – an estimated 27 million people – than at any other time in history.

After taking the interactive, online lifestyle survey, it’s clear that it isn’t just our overpriced cotton underwear that’s supporting modern day slavery: it’s everything. Daily essentials like cars and coffee, college staples like smartphones and laptops. Oranges, cocktail shrimp, mascara and mouthwash, the list goes on.

Find out your Slavery Footprint now — college students can enter the Slavery Footprint Campus Challenge for a chance to win a trip for two to the 2012 mtvU Woodie Awards!

Read the full Bloomberg article here and watch the video coverage online.

What’s your Slavery Footprint? Will you continue to shop at Victoria’s Secret? What companies are endorsing these practices, unknowingly or otherwise?

Ashley is a UC San Diego grad who is holding on way too tightly to a potential career in magazines and goes to Vegas all too often. She’s fascinated with celebrities and strawberry beer and doubles as a pathological texter/emailer/blogger. Feed the addiction with tweets @cashleelee. Thanks in advance.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, when gorgeous models prance around in next to nothing on network television…yes, I’m talking about the Victoria Secret Annual Fashion Show! Instead of getting insecure and feeling badly about myself while watching abnormally beautiful people on CBS this upcoming Tuesday night, I’ve decided to embrace the female parade in a few ways.

Recognize it as a holiday tradition. The transformation of shopping malls into lands of holiday consumerism happens every year, whether we participate in Black Friday outdoor sleepovers and Wal-Mart pepper spray raids or otherwise. The fashion show is part of the scheduled televised rituals of the holiday: watching a football game and the Macy’s Parade on Thanksgiving Day. There’s no need to fight it — it’s free. It’s simply a time to indulge in fantasy, to look at pretty people, watch fun performances and laugh at crazy costumes. Kind of like Halloween, but less scary. Or sloppy.

Watch Jay-Z, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj and Adam Levine. For those who usually avoid this TV special like the plague, it’s not just a fashion show — it’s a concert, too. Think of it as a star-studded music special with really pretty people walking around. As a mainstream music fan who sits unsatisfied by Levine’s double performance at the AMAs and has yet to grab tickets to the Watch the Throne tour, consider me tuned in.

Organize a cathartic potluck. Yes, I know some people we just got finished digesting our Thanksgiving meals…and there are those leftovers in the fridge…but when I realize that the poor (metaphorically, of course) models have been working out for months, starving themselves for days and dehydrating themselves for a few too many hours, I get a little bit sad. And it’s only appropriate to watch the show while indulging in the most decadent foods that my friends and I can cook. I’m talking junk food, cupcakes and Fat Tuesday-style margaritas.

Turn it into a drinking game. Whenever a model winks at the camera, whenever a Victoria’s Secret ad airs during the commercial break. The drinking must continue the entire time that the Miranda Kerr and her $2.5 million dollar Fantasy Treasure bra are onscreen. I doubt anyone will fall on the air, but be prepared, just in case.

Think about it as a public service announcement. Unfortunately, the economy hasn’t leveled out to where it used to be just yet, and every dollar we spend is still a contribution to keeping the consumerism wheel turning. So though this TV special might make some people feel badly about themselves enough to buy something from Victoria’s Secret — or anywhere, really — it’s for the greater good of everyone. The special doesn’t even advertise certain products in particular; the name of the bras walking down the runway aren’t explicitly publicized for viewers to purchase them at their local malls. But it does get people to generally continue spending after Black Friday AND Cyber Monday, that’s all.

Get a head start on making New Year’s resolutions. Because damn, it still does make you want to work out. Eventually. I mean, 2012 is still weeks away.

Check out our FAVORITE photos from past shows. They’re WTF. They’re Ridiculous. And they’re awesome.

The evolution of sexy, according to Vicki’s

Inspiration behind 3 real-life dorms

How guys really feel about leggings

The Oscars drama continues

Dawson’s Creek, the reunion???

Justin and Selena stay strong about baby drama

New photos from the ‘Hunger Games’!

Batman occupies Wall Street

Gleekers loose their virginity

Stars who regret having plastic surgery

The secret to a Victoria’s Secret model’s body

Of course Prince Harry speed dates for the rich

Hollywood tackles the long distance relationship

Are these celebs secretly related??  No, seriously

Daniel Craig is quite the lady

Kendra sure thinks highly of herself

Are tattoos okay in the workplace these days?

Time to up your sex drive?

And ode to a Jonas

I’m going to be honest with you — my first thought after watching that Shopaholic film was ‘so this means if I got a credit card, I could have amazing clothes like that too?’

Definitely not the point, as every person I shared my revelation with was quick to point out. But what’s a shopaholic on a limited budget to do? Figure out how to do it on the cheap!  I’ve rounded up some less expensive alternatives to those pricey stores we all love in hopes that we can look super trendy, without being super broke.

Click on the photo to see the next slide

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Any more suggestions?

I have a love/hate relationship with Victoria’s Secret. On one hand, I buy 90% of my lingerie from them. On the other hand I can’t stand the way they advertise so shamelessly to men. (And if I had a third hand I would discuss the semi-annual stampede that is the semi-annual sale.)

Not only do they feature insanely hot models with insane bodies, but they pose them in the most unbelievable scenarios. I mean, when was the last time my hair looked good at the beach and my skin looked flawless. Let’s be honest. My beach hair usually doubles as a seagull’s nest and my skin usually doubles as a lobster understudy.

Think I’m exaggerating the ridiculousness of a Victoria’s Secret shoot? Just check out these photos from Erin Heatherton’s new bikini shoot.

I’ve recently been assessing the column and noticed that it’s severely lacking pants, so that was my mission for this week. Summertime is all about lightweight, flowy fabrics that allow your skin to breathe. Even though most of my pants-wardrobe consists of jeans, I try to remember that and pick up a few pairs of lighter pants for hot summer days and nights. Cargo-style pants are huge right now, especially after the release of J Brand’s Houlihan cargo. After searching for a lightweight cargo that was also budget-friendly, I came upon the often overlooked Victoria’s Secret website and hit the jackpot.

The Marisa Crop Cargo from Victoria’s Secret is the perfect summer bottom. It’s lightweight, trendy and comes in a rainbow of colors. They actually make this style in a few other fabrics too, including a super light linen. The cargo pockets are perfectly placed and designed to flatter your curves instead of add bulk. However, most people have no idea how to make them work at night. And that’s where I come in.

Let’s start with daytime:

Cargo pants are an easy way to change up your daily rotation of jeans and shorts. Throw on a loose fitting tank in a neutral shade and a pair of earthy sandals. The woven bag has a hippie-chic vibe, but the pop of color makes it interesting. Top off with leather wrap bracelets and a pair of fun sunnies!

And now evening:

While you can’t get away with wearing cargos to a super-fancy restaurant, they are totally appropriate for drinks with the gals or a more casual date. Throw on a sheer printed blouse (I love leopard) — tank top or exposed bra is up to you! Tuck the blouse in for added polish. Next, add a pair of funky, neutral pumps or booties to keep your legs looking long. The super girly purse works to offset the sporty-ness of the cargos. Keep jewelery simple and feminine – giant jewels and pearls are perfect! And that’s it!

If you’re loving the Marisa Crop Pants from Victoria’s Secret, they’re available here for about $23! What a steal! Don’t forget to check them out in other fabrics.

It’s the moooost wonderful tiiiime of the yeeeear. Halfway to it, anyway. In a ‘Christmas in June’ inspired feeling, we can all celebrate because today is exactly six months away from Christmas. And, that being my all-time favorite gift-giving holiday, I rounded up a few presents I want now.

Big mistake. Huge.

So I was flipping through some old Facebook albums the other day (you know the ones people label THROWBACKS! OLDSCHOOL! And OMG WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! ) when in between fits of hysterical laughter, I started to catch sight of what I actually looked like. And all I can say is, seriously? I mean, seriously? I know I was young and naïve, but I don’t remember being that naïve.

Unstyled hair.
Poorly applied makeup.
And terrible, terrible fashion choices.

But the thing is, I wasn’t alone in these choices. No, they were all the rage once upon a time. Don’t pretend you didn’t think you were so cool with your Victoria’s Secret PINK sweatpants and ponchos (hopefully not worn together). I know you were right there with me, doing the sideways look in the mirror, thinking you looked so good. But really, none of us had any no clue what we were doing. And now years later, as seasoned fashionistas, we can look back on these fashion disasters and laugh.

Or cry. Whichever you prefer, really.

10. The original Ugg Boot. I already know people are going to rage against this one, but Uggs are not attractive. They’re just not. Comfortable? Yes. Warm? Yes. But not attractive. And although they’re still around today, worn on those rainy/snowy/slushy/extra cold days when nothing else seems quite as appropriate, I will forever think of my high school years as the Uggs-with-skirts years. And those are some very bad years.

9. The Messy Bun. Flip your head over. Compile all of your hair into a ball atop your head. Wrap a hair tie around it. Styling complete. It’s still worn today, but at least in college we can admit that it’s not so much attractive as it is convenient…

8. Platform flip flops. They seemed so cool at the time, and added that extra bit of height that we pre-pubescent teens still needed, but really, really, what were we thinking? “God, I really want my leg to look thick and stumpy”? Thank goodness we’ve traded up to four inch stiletto heels that kill our feet, instead.

7. The poofy prom dress. Or the poofy Sweet 16 dress? The poofy bat mitzvah dress? At some point you wore a dress completely covered in tulle. A dress with sparkles and bows. A dress that you loved at the time. It was THE.PERFECT.DRESS. Now? Well, now you look back and try to even find yourself in all that tulle.

6. Velour Sweatsuits. Granted, these things are also still around, but now they’re associated more with The Real Housewives of New Jersey than they are with impressionable, young high school girls. These probably wouldn’t have looked quite so bad if they didn’t come in the most ridiculous colors ever. Or you know, if they didn’t have the word “juicy” stamped across the butt. Oh yes, which reminds me…

5. Label Whoring. Ed Hardy. Victoria’s Secret. VonDutch. Kangol. Coach. Juicy. Anything with any name that could possibly be placed anywhere. Bedazzled. Bejeweled. Painted on. It didn’t matter where it was, or who it was, as long as people recognized it.

4. Side Swept Bangs. I think I was a junior in high school when the side swept bang craze first hit. Suddenly everywhere I looked, half of a girl’s face was covered by her SUPER CHIC looking bangs. That she cut by herself. Right there in homeroom. With a pair of safety scissors. (True story!) It’s really no surprise that senior year saw the rise of the…

3. Headbands. This was pre-Blair Waldorf. At least, it was for me. Inspired more by the boho chic Mischa Barton, and Nicole Richie, these headbands were super thin little straps of fabric that were really very far from flattering. But that didn’t stop anyone from wearing them.

2. Ponchos. Come on ladies, admit it. Once upon a time you threw on a pair of jeans, your favorite tank top and a brightly colored poncho. Probably something crocheted with lots and lots of fake flowers on it. Think Haley James circa season one of One Tree Hill, which also coincided with my freshman year. Because there’s nothing quite as flattering as a maternity top. Except….

1. Midriff-bearing Tops. No, not the currently popular crop top that flows away from the body (That I really like right now but that will no doubt make it on my list of worst college fashion decisions ever…) but the skin tight baby tee, that was paired with super low rise jeans and sported by Britney and the like.

Ah, memories

Fess up. What were your worst high school fashion mistakes?

Cheeseburgers and soul food, my ass.

In a few days, I will sit down with my Thanksgiving leftovers and watch Victoria’s Secret models strut down the runway wearing moon boots and neon Pink spaghetti strap tops.  Rest assured, I will ogle at their non-existent fat, their perfectly tanned abs, and luscious extensions. I will see myself, flawless, wearing a freaky Pink concoction, and shove the last bite of stuffing in my mouth.  I will wonder how the models are able to walk, even though they are structured like Barbie dolls.

I will hate every single perfect model, not because they are perfect (OK, maybe a little bit because they’re so freaking perfect), but because they are big not so fat liars.

No, I’m not talking about the whole “false advertisement” aspect of those overly padded bras.

What I’m referring to is a recent newscast in which the Victoria’s Secret models sat down to have a little discussion about their number one BFF on the planet: food.  According to the leggy ladies, they love, love, love to eat – everything from cheeseburgers to soul food – especially before a Victoria’s Secret fashion show!

Pause.
Process.
Rage.

You’ve got to be f**king kidding me.

Call me crazy, but the last time I ate a cheeseburger with fries, I didn’t feel like putting on a pair of skinny jeans, let alone ripping it up on the runway in front of millions of people while wearing go go boots and wings. And contrary to what these bombshells are sayin’, I’m pretty confident every woman on earth would agree with me. Look Angels, anyone with a brain and a pulse knows you models don’t go gaga for a Jucy Lucy.  And if you do, you aren’t gorging on one before (or within 6 months of) a VS Miracle Bra photo shoot or runway show.

Let’s get real here. Stop with the games and just tell us the truth – you do a BioCleanse, eat celery for the days leading up to the runway show and pray the combination of hunger and the heat from all those camera flashes doesn’t make you pass out in your lacy thong.

I know what you’re doing. You think talking about fatty, delicious food will make you more “real” and make the rest of us mere mortals feel better about ourselves. But – NEWSFLASH – it doesn’t. In fact, it’s making me feel worse (which is making me want a brownie….) When I see your perfectly sculpted body in my monthly VS catalog or those never-ending legs come walking down the runway, I want to know how hard you worked to get there, not how much you claim to love chili fries. My jiggly thighs want to imagine the hours you spent in the gym while I laid on my couch with a bag of Doritos. My cellulite speckled ass wants to hear about the Bikram classes you took painfully early on Sunday mornings while I slept off a hangover. My under arm fat wants to feel your hunger pangs after a lunch of lettuce with a little balsamic vinegar sprinkled on top while I was mowing down a Chipotle burrito.

Not one ounce of me wants to hear that you gorge on mac ‘n cheese for every meal and still look like that. I don’t buy it so stop it. Stop lying. Stop pretending. Stop talking about cheese grits (mostly because it’s making me hungry). Just tell it like it is, 6-hour workouts and all. Then put on those boy shorts and padded bras and do what you do best: look hot nearly naked so I’ll see you looking perfect and want to buy whatever you’re wearing.

That is all.