Here at CollegeCandy, we get a lot of interesting email. If it isn’t some African Prince offering us oodles of money (which, as it turns out, is a scam….I hate you, Prince Abnalla, if that’s even your real name!), or girls professing their undying love for us (thanks!), it’s weird companies trying to hawk their goods.

No joke, every morning when I wake up and check my email, I’m inundated with hundreds of messages that I quickly scan and purge. No sir, the CollegeCandy readers do not want to increase their penis size by 72 inches. DELETE.

But sometimes, like today, an email is too good to go to the virtual trash can. It is too good to be ignored. It is so good, it must be shared. Like this email I received this afternoon for a great new video game that is “just perfect for your readers”:

Crazy sex with beautiful women? Taking all kinds of drugs? Being a violent jerk?
Yup, sounds just perfect. In fact, I was hoping this wasn’t a description of a game at all, but rather a potential boyfriend.

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2010/07/12/from-the-collegecandy-inbox-the-hottest-new-video-game/feed/ 7 ccandystaff Monitor screen showing email in the inbox email 2 http://collegecandy.com/2008/11/06/candy-dish-cook-me-dinner-or-ill-duct-tape-you-to-the-seat/ http://collegecandy.com/2008/11/06/candy-dish-cook-me-dinner-or-ill-duct-tape-you-to-the-seat/#comments Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:41:01 +0000 CC Staff http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/14305 Listen up fellas!! It is National Men Make Dinner Day…so get your cute butts to cookin’.

The Brazilian wax never goes out of style.

Sarah Silverman’s boy toy, Jimmy, exposes Sarah’s past.

Buckle down the hatches…A storm is coming!

The election is now over (thank goodness)…so here is a 50% sale on Obama goodies!

There is nothing like running freely through Central Park with it all hanging out. Thanks Steve Guttenberg for the visual.

Is the person sitting next …

Listen up fellas!! It is National Men Make Dinner Day…so get your cute butts to cookin’.

The Brazilian wax never goes out of style.

Sarah Silverman’s boy toy, Jimmy, exposes Sarah’s past.

Buckle down the hatches…A storm is coming!

The election is now over (thank goodness)…so here is a 50% sale on Obama goodies!

There is nothing like running freely through Central Park with it all hanging out. Thanks Steve Guttenberg for the visual.

Is the person sitting next to you on the airplane driving you crazy? Well, just duct tape her down, duh!

Dying to play the new Left 4 Dead game? The demo will be out tomorrow. Game on!

Photo courtesy of photobucket.com

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Add one more to the line of cute-n-quirky games that are being put out to attract gamers to shelves. Like Katamari Damacy, the game play is easy, the colors bright, the plot simple: feed the princess, make her heavy so people don’t steal her. Easy! But is it too much?

Some feminists seem to think so. According to this article, feminist gamers from no less than two web sites are up in arms over this. Because she’s a girl. And she’s fat. That’s a problem for feminism. . . apparently.

Now before we proceed, I am a feminist. Ra, ra, fight against inequalities and all that. But rather then be upset about this game, I’ve found a few reasons to applaud this game. Yes, in the name of feminism.

I see Fat Princess as a new wave in gaming.

For starters, she’s in her own castle. This is no damsel in distress that’s been whisked away by some fiendish overlord waiting for some dashing knight to get off his questing butt and come save her. No, her kingdom didn’t let her get stolen. They want her to stay. They value her. Not as some after-prize for vanquishing evil, like, “Sure random adventurer, if you kill Evil Guy over there you can marry that chick he stole.” No, they don’t want you to steal their Princess. They want to keep her.

Secondly, Princess places value on things over her physical appearance. Clearly her little soldiers aren’t great in number, but you know what her kingdom does have? A forest full of cake that they’re going to use to their advantage. She’s not saying, “No I’d rather just get captured.” She says “Pass the cake, I gotta put on some pounds to save my life.”

Not to mention the fact that in ancient times before women were oppressed as the “weaker sex” they were worshiped and loved for their roundness. So, now we have this game that is simply reenacting ancient rituals that uplifted and adored women.

This is a feminist game. Laughing at it is alright because its teaching us to laugh at ourselves and our own absurd culture. There’s nothing wrong with Fat Princess. There will be cake… and I will feed it to her.

[Photo courtesy of Fat Priness game site.]

First they hired photographers to follow them to the beach to capture Heidi just laying out and having a normal day. Then they shot that low budget and horrific music video. And now it seems that the Platinum Pair are developing a video game.

Yes, you heard me right; a video game.

No one really knows what to expect, but Spencer told Us Weekly, “Let’s just say that everyone will be addicted.”

Obviously that means that we will be able to hurt/torture/pummel both Heidi and Spencer, because I can’t imagine any other sort of activity that would make me a Heidi/Spencer addict. I am imagining some sort of James Bond meets Grand Theft Auto situation. You know, with guns and violence.

Or maybe something like The Sims where you can run Heidi and Spencer’s lives. That could also be addicting; putting them in the bear cage at the zoo. With steaks strapped to their bodies. Or sending Heidi to an all-you-can-eat buffet and forcing her to consume carbs. And maybe, although this may be a little too much, getting Spencer a job!?

Ol’ Spence may be right; if they make this game correctly, it really could be quite addicting. I am actually getting excited just thinking about it! Unfortunately, the game isn’t set to hit stores until December of 2009, which means that we will all have to suffer through two more years of Heidi/Spencer publicity ploys until the payoff.

But if the game is as good as I am hoping, it will all be well worth the wait.

“What the F$%k is an AVATAR?“, I thought to myself just a little over a year ago. My nine-year-old nephew told me that he’d bet $5 that his avatar online was cooler than mine. Considering mine would have been a lost girl drawing a….total blank….he was probably right.

Having felt embarrassingly ignorant to this concept once myself, I’m gonna score some karma points by giving you the rundown of what exactly all these nine-year-olds are talking about.

Avatar, in Hindu philosophy, actually means a bodily manifestation. The concept isn’t so glamorous when applied to the internet and computing, though. While an avatar is still a bodily manifestation of some sort when on the internet, it’s more like a cartoon character that you pick to represent yourself rather than a higher being.

The whole craze actually started in 1985 with a computer game called Ultima. The “avatar” was the visual on-screen persona of the player. Nowadays, everyone from elementary school kids to grandparents looking to find friends online have become familiar with this concept.

Typically, in the land of chats, forums, blogs, and games, a person has to pick their avatar from a bunch. It’s kind of eerie, if you ask me! Everyone from every age group is now learning to associate themselves with a little cartoon based on basic traits like eye, hair, and skin color. Of course, if you’re lucky, you may even get to represent your very own subculture with your avatar…you know, broadcast to the world that you’re a punk by choosing the avatar with a mohawk, for example.

So does this sound like something you never want to be a part of? Well, you’re probably too late in drawing this conclusion. Even buddy icons on AIM function as avatars.

Yes, ladies, it’s true: we are becoming a generation of images. So I’m gonna take advantage of it and pick an image of some super hot brunette cartoon. I win the avatar game!

Well, someone wants to put a stop to all the preaching.

Coolest Girl in School, a “mobile phone based game” (a term which makes me feel old, since I have no idea what it is) is about to debut in Australia, and parents are pissed.

“Game developer and producer” Holly Owen, the (no) brains behind this new game, says that the point behind Coolest Girl is to “”lie, bitch and flirt your way to the top of the high school ladder“, a description that makes me think Owen has “cool” confused with “total asshole”.

“It’s not about glorifying bad things, it’s about giving young girls the opportunity to play around with high school.” Owen says about her horrible idea, going on to muse “It’s a pretty ironic game because things that might seem obviously cool like taking drugs and smoking might work against you because you have to go to rehab or have stinky breath when the captain of the football team comes to speak to you.”

Right. So in Owen’s world, it’s not cancer that should dissuade you from smoking, it’s the chance the captain of the football team might think your breath stinks.

What fantastic morals.

Besides opting to smoke or not to smoke, players in Coolest Girl “must choose whether to experiment with drugs, alcohol…skip school, spread rumours, [sic] bully and even fall pregnant in their effort to win the game.”

Now, I may not be anyone’s mom, but I’m appalled. What kind of crack addict idiot thinks teenage girls need any more glorification of negativity in their lives? Holly Owen must have had one boring high school experience—why else would she think getting pregnant and experimenting with drugs is just fun and games?

Being a girl who spent too much time in her parent’s basement playing games like Chrono Trigger and Yoshi’s Island, I feel like an outsider when I bring up my days of fighting evil and time traveling to anyone out of the loop.

I won’t even mention the looks my roommates gave me when I told them what I plan to be for Halloween this year.

But, I’ve decided to take a stand and stop all of this anti-video game sentiment from girls my age once and for all!

Video games aren’t nerdy. They aren’t difficult. And no, you don’t have to master Halo 3 to get enjoyment out of a gaming system.

If you take the time to look into what’s available for the most novice player, I guarantee that you will find something that you will love, especially on the Nintendo Wii!

That’s why I’ve come up with some games that will surely prove that not all video games require a joystick:

Boogie

Like most Wii games, Boogie gets you off the couch and moving. Like getting inappropriately drunk and making a fool of yourself at Karaoke Night? Save your dignity and do it at home! Boogie comes with it’s own microphone so you can sing along to some old-school classics. Invite your friends from down the hall and make it a group thing.

You’ll be forced to get up and dance…which is so not what you think of when you think “video game”, right?

Perfect!

Big Brain Academy

Big Brain Academy is a perfect for those days (or nights) where you don’t feel like hitting the bars or when you need an excuse to put off your History paper. Designed to assess your “brain weight” over time, BBA has tons of mini-games that will improve your logic, math, reading, and memory skills. It’s totally entertaining to play with a friend or alone.

Bonus: it’s perfect to use to settle bets. For example: “Who ever gets the worst score in the logic game has to go for a beer run!”

Who says video games are useless?

Mario Party 8

Mario Party 8 tells it like it is. For 1-4 players, this game is made for a crowd. Perfect for Friday night pre-gaming, MP8 will entertain you with a plethora of mini-games that are so ridiculous you’ll never think you’re even playing a video game.

One of my favorites? The water skiing…if only because I find a little too much enjoyment in watching Mario wipe out.

The bottom line is that games CAN be accessible. It’s not all shoot-’em-up, blood and guts type stuff. And even though it might bring to mind loners, sitting in their dark room never to return…they can be social activites too!

Try them out! I promise you’ll love it!