For the past few weeks, the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore has been filming the 4th season of the show in Florence, Italy. Since the city of Florence had all these weird rules about the show filming (no filming inside nightclubs, no filming people drinking, etc…), it’s no surprise that MTV decided to bring the cast back to Seaside Heights to film an episode or two. While we’re used to seeing the infamous MVP (Mike, Vinny, and Pauly D), Pauly’s nowhere to be seen in these pics, so enjoy these ridiculous new shots of MV… R.

Am I the only person who can’t stand the Situation, or does he have some crazy fangirls I was unaware of? Do you like MVR or do you miss Pauly D? Have you ever been to Seaside Heights to check out some guidos? Let us know!

The time has come to put away the self tanner and slow down the fist pumping. Tonight is the season finale of Jersey Shore. Waaaaah (Snooki voice). Season 3 of everyone’s guilty pleasure has brought us a lot of drama, a lot of toilet issues (from Deena’s constipation to JWoww’s public urination to Ronnie’s bowel movements on steroids), and a LOT of smushing.

Which makes me wonder…

The gorillas of the shore house obviously get it in with a lot of grenades chicks, but are they any good? I mean, get past the abs (Pauly/Sitch), the arms (RonRon) and the giant cannoli (Vinny) – do these boys really know how to please a lady? I mean, Ronnie’s got to be good; why else would Sam keep coming back for more? And Vinny’s obviously got something going on to leave Snooks in tears. But what about Sitch? Or Pauly? With all that practice, they’ve got to know what they’re doing, right? Read More »

Besides Lindsay Lohan being Lindsay Lohan and a few other tidbits of news, celebrity gossip was pretty slow this week. Maybe all the stars are getting ready for the holidays, or maybe they needed a break after last week’s divorce-a-thon, but either way, I hope they do something more interesting next week. I need more scandal!

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Other than, “OH YEAH, EVERGLADES, YEAH” it was really difficult for me to take anything away from last night’s episode of Jersey Shore. Are we seriously dealing with a finale right now? I would’ve rather been watching South Park’s ripoff of the Jersey cast…. a la beast Snooki screaming “SNOOKI WANT SMOOSH SMOOSH!”

Seriously, the Everglades? How funny is it to confuse a crocodile with an alligator? Although I will admit the added dinosaur noises (and I don’t mean the ones coming from Sammi) to the whole Everglades event with the alligator attacking the airboat were amusing. And I don’t doubt that the bugs are bigger than Snooki….

And then the crew headed back for South Beach, after the frog-legs incident, and things took a turn for the boring. Read More »

Last night’s episode of the Jersey Shore finally put the last nail in the Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino coffin. Oh well, at least he has mad cooking skills to compete in Top Chef. I personally was heartbroken watching him go from house Papa Bear to ultimate entitled creepshow. From kicking out girls to cockblocking “the world” to parking wherever he damn well pleases, he was the biggest embarrassment to the episode.

Not to mention, our blessed jewel Ryder left Snooki and left us pulling our Ed Hardy trucker hats over our eyes and weeping for a better life in Poughkeepsie. Wahhhh, I’m so sad my all-expense paid trip to Miami doesn’t measure up!

The real only way to sum up the episodes is through the top quotes of the night. Read More »

"Let's all play with our hair and brush our eyebrows for awhile. GIRL TIME!"

Was I watching an episode of Jersey Shore or “Antiques Roadshow” last night? It was hard to tell due to the fact that the show was so dull I almost felt like checking to see what was on PBS. No offense to you PBS, but you’re not exactly bringing in the fist pumps every week.

We’re all so very glad that Angelina has moved out and on but to be quite honest, the show was just not as entertaining. It was like she was the Herb Brooks or, for a more relateable reference, the Heidi Montag. She provided an outlet for everyone to hate on, and without her in the house, they start directing their hate towards each other… and the show plunged into mundane drama. The Situation was revealed as an ultimate scumbucket, Sammi got more airtime playing with her eyebrow and avoiding eye contact with Jenni, and Vinny’s Miami Love Story was the main plot point.

Of course, we were all relieved when Pauly D would burst out in his deranged Kool-Aid man voice, “OH YEAH, CHAMPAGNE, YEAH!!!” but that still didn’t quite cut it.

I’m not saying I miss Angelina, but I wasn’t impressed with this episode and her lack of presence definitely showed the negative traits of our beloved J.Shore cast. Below, please follow along as I detail the reasons why this episode was a warzone epic fail. Read More »

We had many, many thoughts going into this episode. Many questions about how the Snooki/Angelina throwdown would go down. Questions on if Tee-Shirt time would make another appearance (it did). Questions if Pauly would, yet again, be a human alarm clock with a crazy Kool-Aid man “OH YEAHHHH!” voice (he was). As the episode started up, we only had one burning question in mind, 25 minutes in:

WHERE IS SNOOKI?

MTV, you threw a lot at us this episode. A lot. So much that I was actually compelled to watch the After Show, wondering how to steal the host’s job. Let’s break this episode down by the major events.

PART I: The Situation Gets Punched by a Girl (again) and Bangs a Canadian, eh?
Angelina socks The Situation in the face and JWoww has a heart-to-heart with her since they can now bond over the common ground about punching Sitch in the face. WTF, Jenni? We miss your ‘roid rage. Situation reiterates that he’s the glue/leader of the shore crew and reminds us all that Angelina sucks. He moves his frustration to the club Karma/Kantra/Krib or whatever it was, and brings along some Canadian girl who’s a real handful in the sack and on the dance floor, fighting women off her man’s abs. Vinny makes some Canadian joke aboot the girl and Nutella and the crew all listens to them scream and moan in the smush room. (Seriously, that ish was loud.) Read More »

Let me just open with a bold statement: Ron and Sammi need to get off my television, ASAP. Their negativity is clogging up the screen and prohibiting Snooki from getting her fist pump on. Seriously, get these two epic losers off of MTV before I JWoww their whiny behinds.

Also, another note about “JWowwing,” can we just point out that the only reason we were watching last night’s episode was to see JWoww take a b*tch down and it didn’t happen until the last 30 seconds of the show? Then we were left hanging with absolutely no previews to get excited about for next week? Low blow, J.Shore. This week’s episode left a lot unanswered, gentle viewers. Let’s recap all the questions that ran through our minds last night. Read More »

Okay, when did the Jersey Shore become about heartfelt “feelings” and “emotions” instead of bar fights, beating the beat and smushing? SERIOUSLY. Thank goodness we had MVP running a very serious game plan last night about how they were going to maneuver three girls and a grenade to get us through the hour. The Situation stepping up to the role as commander and directing his men to deal with the “hippopotamus” was disgusting, yes, but also the heart of why we love the Jersey Shore.

Let’s step it up a bit, though; even the Real Housewives of NJ have more fire in their bellies than the J. Shore kids these days. We need more excitement. More humor. Come on! Don’t make me put JWoww and Teresa Giudice in the same room.

Not that there wasn’t a lot going on last night. There was that (connived?) drama caused by Sam and Ron and a little type-written note by JWoww and Snookie. (Or, as Ron likes to refer to her, Shnookie. How does he still not know her name?) The girls wanted to tell Sam that Ron’s being a dirtbag but they don’t want to upset the house dynamic so, you know, they decided sneaking around and lying was the way to go. Because Sam will never turn on the TV find out, right? Of course, when the bomb (read: Scary Sammi and Roid Rage Ronnie) blew up, the only one who owned up to Ron doing everything listed on the note was The Situation, imparting the great wisdom, “It’s funny because it’s true.”

Which pretty much sums up why we all watch this terrible, trainwreck of humanity. And we just can’t look away. every. single. week. Read More »

"To family....and marinara from the jar!"

Who can’t help but love the dysfunction of the Jersey Shore? This week, the gang (I feel like we’re opening a summary of Scooby Doo. Come on – Snookie, Scooby… same thing?) deals with some hard-hitting moral dilemmas. Angelina, JWoww and Snookers are all plagued by the memories of Ron getting wild at the club and their desire to inform dear Sammi Sweetheart of her “bf’s” wrongdoings. The boys deal with weeding through grenades and landmines at the gelato shop.

Come on, ladies. You and Ronnie are ON CAMERA. Did we forget this blindingly obvious fact? Eventually Miss Sammi is going to see her precious Ron-Ron hooking up with Miami scram and she will also see you trying to cover up the fact that you know anything. Putting the fact that MTV has cameras in everyone’s faces on the backburner, let’s run down the I.F.F. (I’m F*cked Foundation) governmental structure.

I.F.F. – “I’m F*cked Foundation” Hierarchy Read More »