"Ok, so I'm on top. What do I do now!?"

Losing your virginity is huge. It’s been built up since the birds and the bees talk, and everyone you know gives you a different description of what it’s actually going to be like.

Grandma preaches about how she waited for marriage and how the only man she ever slept with was your grandfather, which kept her from getting those dirty diseases the youngsters are getting these days. Your parents just beg you to wait for college when you’re out of their house, and protect yourself so you aren’t bringing home their grandchildren on your winter break. Then there’s your slutty friend who boasted about how great it was and had all the boys following her through the halls of high school.

But when we sit down and look back on how it actually was when we decided to lose our virginity, it isn’t easily summed up into one simple tip or anecdote. It was more like a 30-minute (if you were one of the lucky ones) progression into womanhood.

After reading The Frisky’s perspective on the stages men go through when losing their virginity, I was not only enlightened (seriously, who knew guys thought so much?!), but it got me thinking of my own first time and the stages I went through as it was all goin’ down.

Perhaps you can relate… Read More »

It’s been a rough week. Not only did we realize that we’ve suddenly got mountains of reading to do, but we also found out that drinking more doesn’t actually cure a hangover. We’ve also got swine flue worries, toxic friends, and the Kanye West-Joe Wilson battle for Biggest Douche of the Year to deal with.

Most ridiculously of all, Vh1 is trying to convince us that Miley Cyrus is a diva. Come on, guys! Divas don’t sing songs with titles like “Party in the USA” or have a close, personal relationship with Mickey Mouse. No offense, Miley.

There are a few bright spots on the horizon, though. As always, Fashion Week provided us with some grade-A escapism. Whether you’re knocking boots with a special someone or saving up your v-card, we had you covered. (One piece of advice for all the virgins out there—when you do decide to lose it, head over to Washington, D.C. You’re welcome.)

Best of all? If you can prove how much you love College Candy, you might just win a snazzy new laptop. Seriously!

So cheer up, everybody. It’s Friday! Throw on a pair of camouflaged sweat pants, breathe a sigh of relief, and go out and make some bad decisions this weekend. It’s all uphill from here.

Why does everyone think that being a virgin is bad?

Ok, not necessarily bad per se. But definitely looked down upon, like we’re being foolish for not wanting to experience “the pleasures of life” you non-virgins always talk about.

You may not think we know, but we know. We know those looks you give us when we’re all hanging out together and we start talking about guys. And by “you,” I mean the one who goes out, gets drunk, and hooks up. After you go on and on about the guy (not the boyfriend, but the guy of the moment) you met last night and how good he was in bed, you all of a sudden cast us a very familiar look. That patronizing, pity-filled, I-can’t-believe-you’re-not-doing-it-you-don’t-know-what-you’re-missing look. The eyebrows scrunch a little and the lips pout a little, and maybe the arms reach out to give us a little hug. The consoling eyes seem to say, “It’s ok, sweetie. You’ll find someone some day!”

Well, maybe I don’t want to find someone. At least, not in that way. Not for just the night. Not for just sex.

You might think I’m crazy, but I know that until I have found the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, I’m not going to settle. I don’t just want to pick up some random guy at the club, spend a meaningless night together and have my final image of him be his back heading out the door. Read More »

It’s back-to-school time, and I’ve been spending some time lately thinking about what college means for our sex lives. College is our time to explore anything that interests us to find out what we really like and what type of people we want to become. We explore different majors, career paths, friendships, relationships, and sexualities. College is the first time in our lives most of us can really embrace our sexuality, explore it, and figure out how to truly enjoy it.

I go to a women’s college, so my first year was filled with questions from friends back home asking if I’d become a lesbian. My answer: so what if I had? And why did they care?

Despite the freedom we gain in college from adults, we are still constrained by our peers’ expectations of us, which can make it difficult to remain true to ourselves and create a healthy personal (and sexual) identity.

Here are some tips I hope you girls (and guys) can keep in mind while exploring sex in college. Read More »

I met Josh* one night in October and thought he was cute. He was tall, had dark hair and eyes, a nice body and dressed REALLY well. (You know boy’s attire can be important, so don’t even deny it.) We met when I was pre-gaming in the dorm, so it wasn’t like I ever knew him when I wasn’t under the influence, and this tends to lead to bad decisions on my part. Very bad decisions.

Post-pre game with the girls (and him) we went out – a frat party, a house party, who really remembers? All I remember is what happened when I got back to the dorm, which I definitely wish I could forget. We ended up having a really drunken emotional talk (while watching Wedding Crashers) and I found out he was a virgin. Was. Until that night. Because all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we were hooking up. And then I swiped his V-Card.

This alone would have been bad enough, but afterwards we were sitting in his bed and he was all “Oh my god, I need to make some calls.” Thinking he was going to grab his phone and tell his roommate he could come back from his sexiling, I moved over to let him get out of bed. Only that wasn’t the call he was making.

He jumped out of his twin extra-long bunk, grabbed his phone and proceeded to call his best friend from home. I know this because this is how the conversation went: Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I recently found out that I have HPV. I was so shocked and upset by the news that I couldn’t really think of anything to ask my doctor. So, I was wondering what I should do. This was the first time I’ve ever been tested, so do I have to tell every guy I’ve ever been with (even those I didn’t actually have sex with)? And do I have to tell all future partners?

A: First of all, I’m sorry you have Human PapillomaVirus (HPV). If it makes you feel any better, I have had it too. You didn’t say whether your HPV is the type that causes genital warts or abnormal pap smears (they tend to be different strains but may travel together). But I’d be happy to educate you about HPV in general, since you were too freaked out to ask your doc. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: This may sound really dumb, but when my doctor asks me if I’m sexually active, I never know how to answer. Have I had sex before? Yes. Am I having it now? No. (But I wish I were…) When I have it, is it with the same person? No. How do I answer this and, even more, is she judging me when I answer truthfully?

A: I know how confusing that question can be.  I once asked a woman if she was sexually active and she said no. I then discovered she was pregnant and confronted her. She said, “Well, I only have sex five times/week. I don’t think that’s very active.” So yes, the word “active” can be misleading.

When we docs ask if a woman is sexually active, here’s what we’re trying to figure out. Read More »

I waited a long time to swipe my coveted V-card. It wasn’t like I was waiting for my Prince Charming – more like I was waiting for the right opportunity. The right guy. The right comfort level. I wanted it to be something I could look back on down the road without regrets.

And I don’t have any, but it definitely wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be some really intense situation where I’d feel completely different after the entire thing was over. And maybe it would have been had it lasted longer than 4 minutes. Instead, the entire sitch was just….weird. And when it was done? I didn’t feel more connected to my partner – I just felt sore downtown and a little bit sweaty.

Everyone’s first time is different, but do we all feel the same way going into it? What do guys think of losing their virginity, and what do they think about taking it from someone else? Let’s find out… Read More »

It’s Friday night and you throw on your hottest little black dress, toss back some shots with your girlfriends and then hit the club, bar or, everyone’s favorite, the kegger.

Soon you’re in a first class seat to Blackout City (population: who the eff knows? You’re seeing double), and the next thing you know, you’re waking up topless in a strange bed, wearing someone’s boxers and one high heel. You turn over slowly, silently pleading that at least he’s good looking.

But regardless of what you see (there’s no turning back now, sister!), there are 10 major things you don’t want to hear:

1.    “You’re on birth control, right?”
(OhMyGodPleaseLetThereBeACondomWrapperOnTheFloor…..)

2.    “That video is going to get so many hits online”

3.    “What was your name again?”
This problem is two-fold. One: he put his P in your V and he doesn’t even know your name?! What a sleaze. Two: Sh*t! What name did you give him last night!?

4.    “Thank God those warts went away!”

5.    “I love you.”
You knew you were good, but that good? Read More »

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

I hadn’t known John* very well, so when I got a text at 11pm saying “I’m bored, come hang out” I should have immediately seen the booty call red flag. Especially because we had set up a first date for the next night, but John was hot and he cracked me up so I was excited to see him. When I got there, he answered the door and immediately shushed me. You see, his parents were sleeping and John wasn’t allowed to have girls over past a certain hour.

Dating a guy who lives with his parents isn’t so awesome, but we’re all broke college students so I tried to understand as he hurried me through the pitch black living room scattered with baby pictures and Precious Moments figurines. I was a little less understanding when he led me straight into an ottoman. I fell, and not a small fall either. I fell down, on the ground, wincing in pain. But again, I was crushing so I picked myself up grabbed his hand and tried not to think about my scraped knee.

Read More »