Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like the ultimate cure for a hangover! – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I don’t really know how to ask this so I’ll just get right to it. I’m still a virgin and I’m the only one left in my group. All my girl friends lost their virginity this year and have been telling me how much it hurt. Now I’m scared! Is it really that bad? And is there anything I can do to….prepare? Or should I just buy some cats now and grow old as a single, virgin spinster?

I’m really freaking out here.

A: Ok, hold up. It is definitely not time to start hoarding cats. Unless you really like cats, in which case, stock up! But don’t throw in the towel on sex just yet. Every woman is different when it comes to what your first time feels like. If you’ve been wearing tampons, riding horses, and straddling balance beams in gymnastics, your hymen may already be broken, so it might hurt less. On the flip side, if you’re very tiny and trying to insert a junior sized tampons sends you through the roof, you might face some serious discomfort.

But even if you are in the latter group, there are things you can do, especially if you’re in a relationship and can anticipate when it will happen (which offers your best shot at a good experience, in my opinion. Losing your virginity to a beer-sloshed one-night stand who can’t remember your name doesn’t bode well for gentle, compassionate connection between you and your partner. But then, you know that.). Read More »

We all know the movies don’t necessarily contain the most accurate depictions of actual life. Or do we?

Whether we realize it or not, we all pick up subtle things from movies that we expect to find in our actual lives. And while I’m willing to overlook some of the media’s follies (like the fact that people in any foreign country all speak English), some of their depictions of sex are just. so. wrong.

Sex requires a soundtrack.
Sure, some people like to have sex to music and watching couples do it to some big, romantic song in the movies makes us all think music will enhance our orgasms, too. But how many times have you set your iTunes to random and had the Spongebob theme song come on in the middle of your session? Awkward! Sometimes it’s best to leave the music off while you’re getting frisky (unless you’re trying to drown out the noise so your roommates don’t hear). It will still be just as good.

Couples always finish together.
Not only do women orgasm every time they have sex in movies, but they always do it at the exact same time as their partner. Anyone who’s ever had sex in the real world knows this couldn’t be further from the truth for most sexual encounters.

Women never walk around naked after sex.
I don’t know about you girls, but I have never, ever ripped a sheet off of a bed to cover myself when I need to walk around the morning after sex. Nor do I immediately dress myself in my boyfriend’s oversized, button-up shirt. Read More »

It’s been a rough week. Not only did we realize that we’ve suddenly got mountains of reading to do, but we also found out that drinking more doesn’t actually cure a hangover. We’ve also got swine flue worries, toxic friends, and the Kanye West-Joe Wilson battle for Biggest Douche of the Year to deal with.

Most ridiculously of all, Vh1 is trying to convince us that Miley Cyrus is a diva. Come on, guys! Divas don’t sing songs with titles like “Party in the USA” or have a close, personal relationship with Mickey Mouse. No offense, Miley.

There are a few bright spots on the horizon, though. As always, Fashion Week provided us with some grade-A escapism. Whether you’re knocking boots with a special someone or saving up your v-card, we had you covered. (One piece of advice for all the virgins out there—when you do decide to lose it, head over to Washington, D.C. You’re welcome.)

Best of all? If you can prove how much you love College Candy, you might just win a snazzy new laptop. Seriously!

So cheer up, everybody. It’s Friday! Throw on a pair of camouflaged sweat pants, breathe a sigh of relief, and go out and make some bad decisions this weekend. It’s all uphill from here.

Why does everyone think that being a virgin is bad?

Ok, not necessarily bad per se. But definitely looked down upon, like we’re being foolish for not wanting to experience “the pleasures of life” you non-virgins always talk about.

You may not think we know, but we know. We know those looks you give us when we’re all hanging out together and we start talking about guys. And by “you,” I mean the one who goes out, gets drunk, and hooks up. After you go on and on about the guy (not the boyfriend, but the guy of the moment) you met last night and how good he was in bed, you all of a sudden cast us a very familiar look. That patronizing, pity-filled, I-can’t-believe-you’re-not-doing-it-you-don’t-know-what-you’re-missing look. The eyebrows scrunch a little and the lips pout a little, and maybe the arms reach out to give us a little hug. The consoling eyes seem to say, “It’s ok, sweetie. You’ll find someone some day!”

Well, maybe I don’t want to find someone. At least, not in that way. Not for just the night. Not for just sex.

You might think I’m crazy, but I know that until I have found the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, I’m not going to settle. I don’t just want to pick up some random guy at the club, spend a meaningless night together and have my final image of him be his back heading out the door. Read More »

I had the perfect relationship. We met in my junior year of high school, and continued to date for the next year. While I had already lost my virginity prior to meeting my high school sweetheart, he had not (as far as I knew). During the first couple weeks of our relationship, I avoided the topic of virginity like the plague, as I didn’t want to rehash my embarrassing and somewhat regretted first time.

The time eventually came for us to get it on, and while I hadn’t asked if he still carried is v-card, after our first time lasted a good 10 minutes I figured I had not been the one to take his innocence. (What? Guys with their v-cards tend to finish at just the thought of getting some…)

Shortly after, the big conversation rolled around and I found out that I was indeed his first. I fessed up to my previous experience, and it seemed to be cool with him. He told me he was relieved that I knew what I was doing, as he was without a clue. It was a constant joke in our relationship that I had been the one who corrupted him, ha ha ha. Read More »

I met Josh* one night in October and thought he was cute. He was tall, had dark hair and eyes, a nice body and dressed REALLY well. (You know boy’s attire can be important, so don’t even deny it.) We met when I was pre-gaming in the dorm, so it wasn’t like I ever knew him when I wasn’t under the influence, and this tends to lead to bad decisions on my part. Very bad decisions.

Post-pre game with the girls (and him) we went out – a frat party, a house party, who really remembers? All I remember is what happened when I got back to the dorm, which I definitely wish I could forget. We ended up having a really drunken emotional talk (while watching Wedding Crashers) and I found out he was a virgin. Was. Until that night. Because all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we were hooking up. And then I swiped his V-Card.

This alone would have been bad enough, but afterwards we were sitting in his bed and he was all “Oh my god, I need to make some calls.” Thinking he was going to grab his phone and tell his roommate he could come back from his sexiling, I moved over to let him get out of bed. Only that wasn’t the call he was making.

He jumped out of his twin extra-long bunk, grabbed his phone and proceeded to call his best friend from home. I know this because this is how the conversation went: Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am still a virgin. It’s not because I’m religious or anything – I just haven’t met the right person. The only thing is that I’m finally ready to sleep with this guy, but I don’t know if I should tell him or not? Guys seem to get pretty freaked out about that kind of stuff. Is it possible to just do it and not tell him?

A: I hear ya, sister! It’s a lot of responsibility to be someone’s first.  But it’s also a big decision on your part. I remember when I was young and a girlfriend told me, “You’ll never forget your first. And a part of you will always love him and feel connected to him.”  She called it “getting stuck,” because the bonding experience of losing your virginity acts like glue.  In my case, she was absolutely right.  Part of me still loves the guy who took my cherry. So think twice about how you make this decision.

As for whether the guy gets freaked out, I say tell him and let him accept that responsibility. If he’s too freaked out to be your first, don’t give it away to him. You want someone who knows it’s your first time, can handle the responsibility that comes with that, and cares enough to make sure you feel nurtured, loved, and accepted when you lose your virginity. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am not in a serious relationship, so I don’t have sex very often. When I do, though, it always hurts. Sometimes even more than the first time. Why is that? Is there something I can do so it doesn’t hurt anymore?

A: Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry! Sex is supposed to be fun, right? Isn’t sex always easy, painless, and orgasmic in the movies? Maybe so, but what you’re experiencing is not uncommon in real life.  In fact, I suffered from the same problem myself back when I was in my twenties.  Have you seen a gynecologist about this issue? There are a number of reasons you may be experiencing pain, and your doctor might be able to help you. Read More »

After undergoing a week long sex-education unit in my seventh grade health class, my creepy health teacher passed out two promise cards for us girls to sign, which stated that we promised to remain abstinent until marriage. While we were told to sign one for ourselves to keep in our purse, we were also expected to leave our John Hancock on one of the cards to turn in as an assignment – no questions asked. As my classmates complacently signed their names on the dotted lines, I remember thinking how ridiculous this task seemed – why was my stance on virginity anyone’s business? If only my feminist hero, Jessica Valenti was around then!

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.” Read More »

"This'll teach my boyfriend to call me naggy!"

People have all kinds of reasons for engaging in casual sex. To our generation, casual sex is a college staple, much like after-caf diarrhea and late-night Adderall binges. To youth of the 60s and 70s, casual sex was an act of rebellion and a representation of a new way of life. To the generations before them, casual sex was the devil’s playground and giving away free milk.

I’m not going to debate the morality of casual sex. Everybody has different reasons for “hooking up” and everyone experiences different consequences. There are some reasons for having casual sex, however, that really are just bad news. I know this because I’ve tried most of them… So I decided to put a list together so you guys don’t have to make the same mistakes I have, or some I haven’t. Read More »