We’ve all heard of Vision Boards. Whether it be from The Secret, The Oprah Show, or that crazy chick on The Bachelor who went on and on (and on) about hers the first night she met Jason. And then got kicked off. (But don’t let her bad luck turn you off; it wasn’t the vision board that sent her packing. That bitch was crazy.)

So, what are vision boards?
Vision Boards put your thoughts on paper, and force you to sit down and really evaluate what you want for yourself in the future – be it tomorrow or 2 years from now. And they stop you from going down a path you don’t really want. Not to mention looking at those images every day is a constant reminder of your dreams and goals and makes you that much more motivated to work towards making them a reality.

You can make them big or small. Mini vision boards are great for smaller goals. I have a mini vision board in my kitchen, which reminds me of my goal to stay healthy whenever I’m reaching for the pizza takeout menus. And I have one over my desk, filled with images and words that remind me of my long term academic goals so I don’t stray when I should be studying.

And then there are the biggies – a vision board for your life, filled with what you want to achieve in many aspects of your future: school, career, love, dreams….anything.

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When’s the last time you took a trip to visit your good old friend, the doctor? Chances are you’ve missed some really important appointments! It’s time to suck it up and face the music, sister.

Here are three necessary dates you need to jot down in that calendar of yours:

Your Gynecologist:

You’re probably used to a getting a little more romance prior to anyone coming near your cookie, but you’re gonna have to make an exception here! You should have your first pap test done once you become sexually active or once you turn 21, whichever comes first. The doctor will use a device called a speculum to widen the opening of the vagina so that the cervix can be examined for cancerous cells. This will only be uncomfortable for a minute as they take a swab of your cells. You should get your results within 3 weeks. If you don’t have this test done annually, you are putting yourself at risk for undetected cervical cancer. Hey, and while you’re at it, go get yourself the HPV vaccine and give cervical cancer the one-two punch!

Your Dentist:

Those needles, that drilling, the disappointing absence of this month’s Cosmo in the waiting room. No one likes making a date with the big D! (Well, that big D.) But if you don’t go for your 6 month checkup like you know you should, your dentist won’t be able to catch a small issue before it turns into a huge (not to mention painful and expensive!) problem. Say you do have a cavity; if your dentist finds it quickly, he can fill it right away. If you let a cavity hang out in your tooth for too long, you will end up having to suffer a crown and root canal. Your dentist also needs to regularly check you for periodontitis, oral cancer, gingivitis, and decay. So, catch up on your flossing and give Dr. Giggles a call.

Your Optometrist:

Staring at a computer for hours, not wearing eye-wear in the tanning bed, binge-drinking, and smoking cigarettes are all ways we damage our eyesight on a daily basis. An annual check up with your Optometrist can help determine if you are at risk for glaucoma or macular degeneration (a slow progression of blindness. Remember Amanda from ANTM season 3? She had macular degeneration!). A quick visit will determine if you have either of these conditions as well as evaluate your vision. You’ll take a puff of air to the eye, have a flashlight waved over your pupil and read some letters off a poster. Way easier than any exam you’ll take in class!

So, if you want to avoid resembling a guest on Jerry Springer (blind, toothless and probably full of vadge cancer), you need to get your bum to the doc. It may not be the greatest way to spend an afternoon, but it sure beats developing a serious disease! And if you just can’t bring yourself to go alone, have a friend tag along. She probably needs to go too.

Apparently, a freaky kind of shrimp wins best eyesight award.

Yeah, that’s right–the little scamp(i)s have better vision than every other freaking animal in the world. Go fig.

My favorite line in the article is “Just why Gonodactylus smithii needs this level of rarefied vision is unclear, although the researchers suspect it is to do with food and sex.” Because, really, what doesn’t have to do with food and sex?

But the article really got me thinking. I mean, I have bad vision. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was three years old. I now wear contacts, but, frankly, my astigmatism keeps them from being completely effective. But I wear ‘em anyway, because I am Vainy McVainstein. (Not to be confused with Veiny McVeinstein, who is a much less pleasant character.) But, as usual, I digress.

Here are the top 5 things I wish I could see (and which I WOULD see if God loved me and had let me be born as a shrimp):

(5) Robert Downey Jr. in his most, ahem, intimate moments. Read More »