[College kids are notorious for being poor. And why shouldn't we be? We take out student loans to pay for private universities, can barely balance a part-time job with our full-time courseload, and the only "balance" we're familiar with refers to the number of points left on our dining hall cards. Oh, did I mention many of us tend to splurge every extra penny on PBR's at the campus bar?

Ok, before everyone gets up in arms about every generalization I just made, let me clarify: if you disagree with everything I just said, you probably don't need this column. But if you're nodding along because you're officially an adult and still don't know how to manage your money, then you might want to pay attention every week, because I'm going to (try to) get you through this, and make you a successful saver and a wise spender. Starving college students of the world, I bring you Money Matters: a Guide to Handling Your Income (or Lack Thereof).]

This week, I’d like to introduce you to a splendid gem called Free Student Checking. Now, normally, banks will hold your money for you, but they like to find sneaky ways to make a few bucks back themselves. Some checking accounts, for example, have a minimum balance that you always have to have in your account. If your balance goes below that minimum, you get a fine.

Yeah, that’s right. You have to PAY your BANK for being too poor to have any money in the account that consists entirely of your own money that you started out with in the first place. I understand credit card late fees– with credit, you’re spending money you don’t necessarily have– but a fine on your own money? That’s bullsh*t. Read More »

Okay…so…don’t start screaming or anything, but this afternoon the House rejected Bush’s bailout plan and the Dow tumbled 705 points.

According to CNN.com, “Although another version of the plan will likely go before Congress, investors are concerned that passing the bill could be a more drawn-out process.”

Even though we recently interviewed an economically savvy insider, we’re still doing our best to keep from climbing out of our chairs and curling into the fetal position underneath our desks. While none of us in the CC office have enough money in the bank to worry that it won’t be insured, or enough money in the stock market to consider jumping out the window, we can’t help but worry that something drastic is happening.

But even though we are scared (and may or may not have consumed a large milkshake…out of FEAR) we do know what everyone should do to prevent a complete economic collapse/major emotional breakdown:

1. You should keep your money where it is. Do not take all that money out of the bank and store it in your Yaffa blocks; no matter how bad things get, that tiny lock on your dorm room door is still not a safer option.

2.  You should not freak out yet. Do not stop shopping, do not sell your stocks, do not head to the nearest Costco and stock up on canned tuna. Just keep living like you’re living. It’s when people stop doin’ their thing that the real economic sh*t hits the fan.

3. You should drink. Heavily. Go dancing, have a good time, then stimulate the economy buy loading up on pizza and breadsticks late night.

Mondays are always bad, especially after a weekend of heavy drinking (as if there are any others), but today is even worse. It’s bad. Very bad. Very, very bad.

Citigroup just announced that it will be buying Wachovia bank to save it from collapsing. Just like AIG. And WaMu. And every other FREAKING BANK IN THIS COUNTRY.

Seriously, are there any banks even left anymore?

I know that everyone is telling us not to freak out, that this is just a dip and that we will come back from it, but I am about ready to pull my money from the bank and invest it somewhere safe.

Like in denim. Or shoes. Or lots of new winter coats. Those greedy bastards on Wall Street won’t be able to take it from me there!