• Someone had sex with Piers Morgan. 9 months ago…judging by the fact he has a baby now.

•  A LOT of college freshmen dumped their high school sweethearts. #notshocking

• According to the Huffington Post, J.Lo celebrated Thanksgiving with Casper…Smart, Casper Smart. I know I wished it was the ghost too.

• Michael Lohan went to the hospital. Our prayers are with the doctors and anyone else who’s holiday was ruined by Michael Lohan.

• Wal-Mart shoppers rioted over a $2 waffle maker. Reporters are ecstatic over the news. I mean, they knew there would be stampedes, but nothing quite this exciting!

• The new Twilight movie is causing seizures. It’s also causing grown women to act like horny prepubescent girls. But no one is reporting that news today.

• Kirsten Dunst went make-up free at the airport. How very brave of her!!!

• There was some kind of balloon parade in NYC yesterday. I think it might have been a one-time thing. So you should look at photos now, because this parade might not happen ever again.

•Lady Gaga says she posed nude. We say that’s her most boring outfit yet!

• The crazy “inject-anything-into-my-butt-to-make-it-bigger” story keeps getting more ridiculous.

• A deleted scene from Harry Potter was released. Harry4eva!

• Aziz Ansari wants you to spit. It’s for a good cause, so just watch the video. For realsies.

• Reasons you’re bloated

• Remember valley girls?

• 10 fashion lessons from horror movies

• Who are you calling crazy cat lady

• Moonwalk your way through Walmart (video)

• Would you wear this?

Somewhere between midterms and fall parties and oversized flannel shirts paired with black leggings tucked into slouchy crochet style Uggs, it hits you. It’s Halloween crunch time. One morning you roll out of bed and realize your roommates have already perfected their Village People getup, your best friend and her boyfriend are pop culture referencing the shiz out of Taylor and Kanye, and your pseudo-fratty neighbors have their imitation silk Wal-Mart robes ready to make Hugh Hefner proud.

But with T-minus 36 hours to arguably the biggest party night (week?) of the year, you got nothing. Eff. You need to throw something awesome together fast.

Never fear.

Here’s a quick list of insta-costumes, all using stuff you probably have in your closet already or can snap up at Target on the cheapsies.

Super Hero: Mid-drift baring Wonder Woman costumes are so overdone. And also $60. Ouch. Save yourself the cash and the killer ab workout and opt for bright swimsuit bottoms over leggings, topped with a cami or another snug-fitting top. Decorate with your monogram in masking tape or Google image search a cause—maybe you’ll be super pizza bagel girl, or captain celebrity gossip. Complete the look with one of those thick workout headbands; fashion a cape from a sheet, or make a run to the fabric store for something snazzier. Wear boots and recruit sidekicks.

Beyonce: This one may take a little more effort (and guts) but if you got it, work it. You can pick up a black leotard at Wal-Mart, or any dance supply store. From there, all you need is a gaudy ring, tall heels, taller hair (great time to break out the Bump It) and YouTube dance moves. Convince the boyf, or another suitable male, to go as Jay-Z. Otherwise, live it up as a single lady. Hello, Sasha Fierce. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

(It’s a scarce week for funnies this time around, as nothing interesting happens during the Thanksgiving holiday.)

In the mall:

Wife 1: “Is your husband being a Scrooge, too?”

Wife 2: “No, we’re just tired out. Taking a break.”

(Husbands exchange meaningful glances.)

Wife 1: “We haven’t even started shopping yet, and he’s already complaining!”

Husband 1: “I just don’t think we have the money this year.”

Wife 1: “Oh, stop being such a baby.”

Husband 1: “So… about that divorce, honey… oh, c’mon, I’m kidding. I’m kidding! Mostly.” Read More »

[This week has been great for most of us. With Thanksgiving 2008 in the books, most of us are still home, cozy, and enjoying spending time with friends and family. But even though I'm thankful for my loved ones and my health, there are still a few things I'm not about to praise. A few things that have gotten under my skin and fired me up. The following is this week's Pissed List, so if you've got to vent, too, just holla atcha girl!]

1. The Mumbai Massacre

It was not even a month ago that the United States elected Barack Obama as our 44th President, inspiring support and celebration for our fair country all over the globe. But the latest string of terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India have served as a cold reminder of the state of the world today. As our nation prepares to move into a new era of change, it is sickening to see a renewed display of hatred and violence in other parts of the globe. News reports have not yet confirmed who is responsible for the continuing siege on the financial capital of India, and some are noting that as-yet-unheard-of terrorist cells are taking responsibility for the attacks. Regardless of who is responsible, reading reports of the climbing death toll is absolutely despicable.

2. The Stampede Death Of The Wal-Mart Worker on Black Friday

Uncalled for, people. Jdimytai Damour, 34, was literally trampled to death by a raging mob who physically broke down the doors to a Long Island, NY Wal-Mart at 5 am on Black Friday. He was not a Wal-Mart employee but a temp hired by an employment agency specifically to help with the holiday rush. My guess is that he would have much rather been sound asleep at home with his family than awaiting the rush of greedy bargain-hunters that morning. Unlike the careless, selfish crowd who ultimately caused his demise, it was not Mr. Damour’s choice to be at that Wal-Mart so early on the day after Thanksgiving. I hope those shoppers are happy with their mp3 players, because while they may have saved a little extra cash on their purchases, they didn’t save Jdimytai. For shame. Read More »

Seriously. Wal-mart shoppers trampled and killed an employee.

Michael Phelps bring his GF home to mama.

Carry your lunch in (super cute) style!

Make your hair look 10 years younger! 

Old people aren’t so safe about sex. 

Milo Ventimiglia is better than sweeter than pumpkin pie. 

Jessica Simpson is anti-bras, apparently.

He’s Just Not That Into You, the movie.

Creative ideas for downing those leftovers. 

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“So this sandwich – portabello and provolone, I mean, it should have been good — but I mean, it was, like, a slab of provolone. Like, exactly a blob. Like I was trying to eat a brick. And so then I ate it, and I went back to my room, and I threw it up, and it was like ‘Yup, now I get to have dinner again’.”

“My mom, you know, she’s pretty, but she’s not that pretty.”

“Yesterday, I did that thing where – you know? You’re, like, Wal-mart, and you’re Halloween shopping, but you end up in that weird kinda retail fog. And so you go, hey, furniture, maybe I want a … futon, and hey, mechanical stuff… I want some turpentine, and then you walk around some more and then you’re outside and it turns out all you bought was an industrial size thing of Cheez-Puffs.” Read More »

Like any new daddy, Casey Aldridge, baby daddy of Jamie Lynn Spears, took some pictures of his new family.

Awwww.

Then the idiot took the pics to his neighborhood Wal-Mart to get developed. Because why wouldn’t the boyfriend of a millionaire want to get a deal on his digital prints?

And what happened? Obviously, the under-paid employee of America’s most controversial store made extra copies of the pics and is shopping them around to the tabloids. Normally this wouldn’t be a huge deal, except for the fact that the pictures included shots of JL breastfeeding her newborn.

Yup! Another celebrity boob is exposed.

The Spears family and local authorities are looking into this whole scandal, but dirty dudes everywhere (Jamie Lynn is a minor!) are patiently waiting those pics.

Just remember this the next time you want to save a few cents on those pictures of yours; you never can trust the photo dude.

Besides all the sucky-ness that moving has to offer, it does have on hell of a silver lining: DECORATING!That’s right ladies – whether you get to trick out a house, apartment, townhome or dorm, you get at least one special private room that will reflect your amazing style. Not only will your boudoir be your locale for sleeping (or not sleeping, wink wink!), it will be where you study, get ready, pre-pregame, watch trashy TV, and lie in bed doing nothing.

No doubt it will be as fabulous as you are, but in case you needed some help getting started, here are some of this years’ hottest decorating trends. Read More »

Ben and Jen: Super Fertile.

Too cloudy to go to the beach? Add these 80′s classics to your Netflix queue.

Exclusive look at the crazy new script from Tarantino. Awww yeah!

Nothing ruins a day at the beach quite like a shark. And I really needed a tan!

The new iPhone is out. We are not too happy about it, but what do the critics say?

Teen pregnancy on the up and up for the first time in over a decade. Could this be Juno’s doing?

Also on the rise, Wal-Mart stores. They. Are. Everywhere.

As if TV couldn’t get any worse – Nicole Richie gets another show.

2 words that should never go together: orgasmic and childbirth. Yes, there is a video.

Maybe this will inspire you to recycle. Think of the dolphins, people!

Gender equality on the road at last! Well, at least on the signs. Baby steps, ladies; baby steps.