Yes ladies, tomorrow marks the release of Dear John and I. just. can’t. wait.

Call me cheesy. Call me girly. Call me pathetic. Just don’t call me between the hours of 9pm and 11pm when I’m soaking up the chick-flick of the decade with my girls and an overpriced, oversized package of Twizzlers.

And don’t tell me you’re not excited about this one, too. Dear John has all the elements of the perfect movie and here are 5 reasons why I’m already holding tickets to the opening night premiere.

1. I love a good cry. Dear John is adapted from a Nicholas Sparks novel by the same name.  Sparks also happens to be the tear-jerking genius who wrote The Notebook and A Walk to Remember, both of which left me heaving into my Diet Coke in the movie theater. As sadistic as it sounds, sometimes I just need me a good cry and after having watched the trailer, um, a lot, I’m positive this movie will give me one.

2. Channing Tatum. As if I even need to mention this. I have admired his chiseled jaw, gorgeous lips, and Adonis-like abs since Step Up came out in 2006. Even after I finally gave up trying to teach myself all the dances in the movie, my love for Channing stuck with me. He was my profile picture on Facebook for awhile. I mentioned him in my final article for my school newspaper. I planned my life as Mrs. Zahra Tatum…

Where was I?

Oh yeah, anyways, all psychosis aside, yes, he was a stripper (NSFW), but he’s gaining real credibility as an actor. I know we’ll get to see a more serious side of him in Dear John, and I’m excited to see how his acting ability has grown. And his pectorals. Because he’s shirtless in this movie…a lot.

3. The trailer is girly glue. You have all the elements of a perfect romance movie: the shirtless guy with sex appeal, the strangely beautiful girl, the gut-wrenching separation and the hot kiss (and I mean hot - if you don’t want to see the movie after that, you don’t have a heart…or a libido).

4. Amanda Seyfried. I am a huge Amanda fan. She went from an unknown to a cult favorite in Mean Girls. Now, she’s a rapidly rising star. She has also found the quickest way to my heart by stunning me every time I see her on the red carpet. Although part of me wants to hate her for getting to roll around half naked with Channing, I can’t help but admire her quirky beauty and be eager to see her try her hand at a romance movie.

5. Everyone Wants Some Lovin’. In this month dedicated to love and romance, it’s nice for those of us without either to get to witness both (without having to watch our friends get all gross, kissy and lovey dovey in front of our faces). And it doesn’t hurt that the guy in love happens to be really, ridiculously good looking.

Did I mention that Channing will be shirtless?
Sigh. I can’t wait!

Let’s face it, you can mind your manners all you want but there’ll always be that jerk that comes along and pushes you off the swing set anyway *cough-Ryan-M-from-first-grade-cough* So here are some quick guidelines of how to deal with the Ryans of this world:

During a confrontation…

1. Ask yourself if it’s really worth it.
If someone’s walking straight at you and expect you to get out of their way, remember that it wouldn’t kill you to move over. Yeah, it’s a pain in the butt and yeah, that person is completely rude, but is it worth ruining your day over?

2. Stay calm under pressure.
As Miss Manners, I really can’t condone rudeness; however, I do understand that everyone has bad days and sometimes people honestly don’t know that they’re being rude. So if you catch an attitude at the get-go, they might see it as you being rude first. Never fight fire with fire. No matter what, speak calmly and rationally and perhaps they’ll realize how ridiculous they sound in comparison.
DO NOT: Act patronizing. If your calmness comes off as patronizing/douche-y, that’ll only set them off again. No one likes to feel stupid and you’ll just push their buttons if they feel like you’re looking down on them.
OR: Start a shouting match, especially in public. Then both of you are being rude. Plus it’s hard to be rational when you’re screaming/being screamed at.

3. Address the rudeness.
Say something along the lines of, “Excuse me, but it was really rude of you to steal my swing like that.” If they haven’t realized by now that they’ve been rude, now they know. And if they’ve already realized it and just don’t care, this will hopefully shame them into acting dignified. Stick to the facts and explain to them exactly what’s wrong with the situation.
DO NOT: Apologize unless you mean it. We can all tell when an apology is insincere and, trust me, it doesn’t make anyone feel better [especially if it was sarcastic].

4. If all else fails, leave.
Walk away from the situation. It isn’t the “weak” way out as some drunken frat boys may argue; it’s the adult thing to do. Be the bigger person and let it go. Yes, even if you’re right. You aren’t backing down, you’re walking away, which is much more mature.

PS: Violence is not the answer, kids. Make love, not war.

So, have you gotten into any confrontations lately? Did you do the right thing? How did you handle it? Tell me about it!

Now that I’ve laid that down, in honor of Memorial Day I’d like to give special attention to those movies that actually made me stop the tongue dance and watch the action (on the screen…not under the blanket).  Here’s my (very uninformed) list of the 10 greatest war movies:

The Patriot: Lots of blood and guts, but the costumes make this movie a hit for me.  Plus, Heath Ledger is pretty awesome as an innocent boy who just wants to fight for the country he thought we should have.  Thanks, fictional homie.

Schindler’s List: This is  a must see on any movie list and should probably be your first reference for war movies.  Aside from the incredible performances and intricate plot, I’m lovin’ the black and white effect in this one.  And Liam Neeson?  Very yummy in his day.

The Big Red One: I saw this one while going through a Star Wars phase (…which may or may not still be going on), since it stars a young Mark Hamill [Luke Skywalker]  as a member of a famous heroic band of men.  It’s gritty, bloody, and emotionally satisfying.

Gone With the Wind: I’m gonna include this one because it shows the other side of the war – the home front.  It’s a masterpiece, from the incredible acting to the sweeping score.  I very much enjoy the costumes in this one as well (there might be a trend here…).

Tropic Thunder: So maybe this movie isn’t actually about a war, so much as a movie about a bunch of guys trying to make a movie about a war.  At any rate, there were guns and blood, so it counts.  Plus, it was funny and if you can make a war movie funny then you’ve got some talent, my friend.

Letters From Iwo Jima: I. Love. This. Movie.  It just yields so much win.  This may be because it shows a side of World War II that I’ve never seen before (the Japanese side) represented in a relatively non-biased way or it may be because of all the hot Asian dudes in uniform.  Either one.

Good Morning, Vietnam: I like my funny and I definitely like some rebellion, so Robin Williams really delivers for me in this movie.  As an added bonus, there are some pretty sweet war sequences to get your heart rate a-going.

Braveheart: So this doesn’t actually involve Americans, per se, but I think we can all relate to the basic themes of suppression and rebellion (Revolutionary War, much?).  And the kilts aren’t bad, either.

Pearl Harbor: I’ll say right now that this is one movie where I preferred the fight scenes to the so-called story line of the rest of the movie.  Being as the movie was poorly scripted and very corny, I’m gonna say bring on the guns!

The Pianist: Get the tissues out right now.  Adrian Brody takes us through all levels of WWII, from being a top musician down to starving in the crumbling remains of the Jewish ghetto.  Hope you didn’t like your heart in one piece, because it is so broken after you watch this movie.

What are your favorites?

Let me say this: I continue to have a bitter distaste for Dan, and Chuck remains (by far) my total fave. AND Lily gained some cool points tonight too. If you missed it, stop reading now, turn on your DVR, and watch. And if you watched, feel free to comment on your favorite part of last night’s stellar ep.

The show started with the usual Yale bullsh*t. Blah blah blah, aren’t they in yet, already? No, they aren’t. And there’s a certain new, young, hot teacher who is going to rock everyone’s world. Anybody else think it’s weird that Serena instantly becomes her new Shakespeare teacher’s bff? I mean, I had teachers I was tight with, but not to this degree. And, a note to Ms. Carr, never tell your students it’s your first salaried gig. That’s just asking for it.

As the Yale-shizz unravels, Serena laments to Dan that she is afraid that she’ll get into Yale, and Blair won’t. Presumptuous? Or foreshadowing?

This week’s weekly party is the opera gala. Seriously? That’s not nearly as exciting as the white party. But I suppose it’ll do, since Jack has already thrown Chuck’s dead father into the mix. We all know that Chuck was had by Jack last week, but is he going to take that? Hell. No.  And you gotta love Lily in this ep for making it happen.

So, on the Yale train, Dan gets in, Serena gets in, Blair gets waitlisted, and Ms. Carr threatens to destroy B’s GPA by not inflating grades.  Which obviously infuriates Blair.  And because S. apparently has a girl-crush on “Rachel,” (who calls high school teachers by their first names?), she declines Yale so B. can take her spot.

Of course, Blair can’t let it rest, so she instigates a plan to hurt Rachel’s feelings, only to find out that Rachel put in a good word for her at school.  Though she does try to fix it, Rachel’s pissed, and calls the headmistress to report Blair, putting the Queen Bee in detention.  For real. This can’t be good.

And then we get to the yelling-at-the-tv-thing.  Lily and Bart were planning on adopting each others’ kids to be a “real family.” And Bart signed the papers before he died.  So, Lily’s signature will make her Chuck’s guardian and thwart Jack’s douchey plans.  SERIOUSLY. AWESOME. When that happened, I looked at the clock: 8:45.  And I knew there was still 15 minutes of major dramz to come.

Obviously pissed off, the crazy Jack tries to rape Lily in the bathroom of the opera.  That’s a Lifetime Original Movie all in itself.   Chuck interrupts, punches Jack in the face, and tells Lily, “This doesn’t mean we’re family.  Just even.” GOD I love you, CB.

At the close of the episode, Ms. Carr runs into Dan in Brooklyn for a cappucino.  The fact that she was in Teach for America, and hot, and obviously written into the GG script to create tension makes me bet on a tumultuous Pacey-Witter-inspired affair bewteen Ms. Carr and Dan.  Can’t wait for that.  But be careful, Rachel, because Blair has officially waged war on you.  And a slip up such as Dan Humphrey could make it oh-so-easy.

If you haven’t heard, Russia decided to go wave their giant international schlong around in the Georgian region of South Ossetia last week. And then, since Georgia’s military consists of two tanks and a three-legged dog, they decided to just run all over the damn place – go for the gold, perhaps. Oh, hey, how topical.

Russia, what gives? Were you thinking that everyone was too enthralled with the Olympics to notice? We’re not blind, Russia. We see you over there. Mr. “I’m only the Prime Minister” Putin, wipe that snide smile off your face, you’re not fooling anyone. We are ready for swift, decisive action. It’s not like we’re too busy chumming it up with the women’s volleyball team or anything.

Russia, really, we’re sorry you haven’t had a bona fide invasion in sixty-odd years. We know your country is huge and hard to invade. We know you just want to sit in your snow palaces and chortle heartily as the fascist armies starve to death on the tundra. But could you at least have waited until the world-wide quadrennial moment of community was over? Man, we really had some spirit going on.

Couldn’t the one-sided massacre of civillians in a thinly veiled land grab along with grotesque human rights violations have waited at least until after the BMX competition? Maybe?

Not like anyone’s surprised, of course. Government people have a pretty terrible record of ruining the fun of decent, normal human beings. Let’s have a look back at some of their more belligerent moments:

- The upcoming Democratic convention

I love politics: the back-and-forth verbal fencing, the earnest campaign volunteers with bake sales, the YouTube dance remixes of embarassing gaffes. It’s all so invigorating! And I love huge mobs of people all standing around in the same place — that’s just a fun thing, right? So the Democratic convention should really be a nonstop festival of fun and games.

Except that someone couldn’t keep it in his pants for five minutee, and so now we’ll all have to worry about these domestic issues. Can’t we just have a stress-free convention for once? Last time, it was “damnit! why did we choose such a creepy, bland old man to run for the White House”; now it’s “damnit! I just can’t concentrate on the forces of change that are sweeping the country — I need to know where else Edwards’ dick has been!”

- The 1936 Summer Olympics

These aren’t the only Olympics that stupid jerks have managed to screw up. You know who opened the 1936 Summer Olympics? Adolf Hitler, better known as the worst guy ever. I don’t know who thought it’d be a good idea to invite that cranky douchebag, especially when we had so many awesome people like Jesse Owens showing up (giving racism the “knock-out punch” All right!) Like, can you imagine being there, watching the Olympics on your hand-crank TV, and going “Wait, what? Who? Is that…?” Yeah. I know. It is.

- The Cold War

This is really inexcusable. While most of us were trying to have the Sixties (and Seventies, and Eighties…), a bunch of old guys who like making up acronyms thought it would be funny if we all just trembled in fear of apocalyptic firestorms that would explode out of our toilets. It wasn’t funny, old guys, though I understand how frustrating it must be not to be getting any in the age of Free Love. Big props to the folks at NORAD, though, for keeping tabs on Santa Claus; if only we’d spent the rest of our national defense budget on jolly fat toymakers, maybe we could have played Scrabble with the Viet Cong instead of shooting at them. Oh, well.

- The Dinosaurs

Damnit! Dinosaurs make the worst decisions. You know what I bet? I bet the mass extinction of the coolest creatures ever to tread this earth had nothing to do with a meteor or climate change or volcanic eruptions. I bet the Dinosaur Council of Dinosaurs ended up passing some bill that was like “Hey, let’s all go stop eating food and see what happens”. I bet that’s exactly what they did, because the Dinosaur Council had no foresight, and then they went extinct and now we will never see a Tyrannosaurus Rex in downtown NYC during rush hour. I hate the stupid Dinosaur Council!

It’s time for your daily dose of news with Kandy Korrespondent!

The Myanmar death toll from Saturday’s Cyclone Nargis is now estimated at 22,500 with 41,000 still missing. Despite such a large body count, Myanmar’s government has thus far only given a few aid organizations access. According to the New York Times, UN disaster assessment officials were still waiting for visas as of Tuesday night.

You can help! The following aid organizations are working to send aid to Myanmar, World Vision, Save the Children, Foundation Burma, and Direct Relief International.

In yesterday’s presidential primary, Obama secured North Carolina with a 14% margin, and Clinton barely squeaked by with a 2% margin. Indiana proved to be a tougher battle ground than most expected. It was after 1am before CNN and other TV networks called the state decisively for Senator Clinton.

Check out my real time continuing coverage from last night to find out more.

Dmitry Medvedev takes office today as Russian President with ex-president Vladimir Putin as his Prime Minister. Many believe that Medvedev will simply be a puppet of the Prime Minister, thereby allowing Putin to retain the outward appearance of constitutionality even as he continues to control Russia.

In related news, on Tuesday, a Georgian State Minister told reports in Brussels that the situation between his country and Russia was “very close” to war. Russia began sending extra troops to the Georgian breakaway province of Abkhazia last week to counter supposed Georgian plans to attack the province.

Seventy-five San Diego State University students have been arrested during a drug bust. Apparently undercover narcotics officers infiltrated SDSU frat houses and allegedly uncovered an extensive drug-dealing network.

And Now for Something Completely Different…

On Saturday, the Austrian national rugby suffered a humiliating loss to Lithuania 48-0. To sooth their wounded male egos, the team staged a massive striptease in the Lithuanian capital of Vilnus. The spectacle was caught on video and uploaded to the net and then to a Lithuanian news agency. The Lithuanian rugby federation President Aleksandras Makarenka told Reuters,

“Yes, these were the men we played against on Saturday … I guess the defeat could have prompted them to do that.”

Thats the News. See you tomorrow!

Due to the fact that I was surrounded by the most politically minded people in school – who now, mind you, live and breathe Washington D.C. politics every day – I have grown up to be quite a political person myself. Yet even I only caught glimpses of last night’s State of the Union Address; mostly because of the writer’s strike and the fact that there was absolutely nothing else worth watching on TV.

Trust me; I tried.

It’s not like I wasn’t interested in what GW had to say; it is just hard to watch George Bush give a speech with bright eyes and (false) positivism when the country has been reduced to shit all around him. We have serious economic issues, war issues, health care issues, not to mention the thousands of people still displaced by Katrina. I don’t really want to spend the little free time I have watching W. sugarcoat those not-so-pleasant truths for an hour.

I am sure many people opted out of the speech in honor of something far more important (like this) or exciting (like this). So, I will give you a much abbreviated look at George Bush’s final State of the Union Address. Not because I want to bore you, but because it is a great way to see what issues will be left when he leaves so you can decide which candidate will be best suited to clean them up. Some highlights:

• Bush asked for a swift passing of his tax rebate package, more patience in Iraq and (something new, at last) $300 million for scholarships for students in low income and low functioning schools.

• Bush avoided much talk of the economy, the biggest and most pressing issue facing Americans today.

• He opted instead to discuss Iraq. Bush once again reminded us how far we have come in Iraq and how we cannot back down now.

• In an effort to look forward instead of back, Bush urged Congress to continue with his No Child Left Behind education bill, to pass new trade agreements with various countries and begged them to renew the legislation that allowed intelligence officials to eavesdrop on suspected terrorists.

• GW ended his speech discussing foreign affairs, expressing his confidence that Al Qaeda could and would be defeated.

Last night’s State of the Union was an interesting one, to say the least. It seemed less like a State of the Union and more of a pleading: Bush on his knees begging congress to finish his grand plans and the rest of America to renew their faith in him. Unfortunately, with only 51 weeks left in office and the 2008 election already on the forefront of everybody’s minds, neither seem to be realistic.

• Looking to waste time on the internet? Is that question as stupid as the bacon one? Eh, just waste your time here!

• Coca Cola is evil. But only in Russia.

• The eternal war wages on! Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

• This guy’s even better than the real Santa.

• So now when your little brother won’t stop making you play Rock, Paper, Scissors you’ll know how to shut him up.

Seeing as our military isn’t in middle school (though they are in a similar predicament: fighting for absolutely no reason), I’d expect a little more tact from them. But apparently the U.S. military has come down with the mean girls-syndrome that I suffered circa the strawberry incident.

No, they didn’t mash strawberries in the backpacks of Iraqi extremists. But they did do some very Regina George-esque plotting to create a gay bomb to use against enemy soldiers. A gay bomb. Seriously.

A watchdog organization that tracks military spending exposed the U.S. military’s plan to build a bomb that could turn opposing soldiers gay—consequently shifting their focus from fighting to sex, CBS reported.

The watchdog group found that “the Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistibly attractive to one another.”

The plan was ultimately rejected, but the watchdog group obtained documents which suggest that military leaders seriously considered the bomb.

So, I find this gay bomb thing offensive on a few levels.

1. Back to my middle school theory, how f-ing immature is our military!? Instead of solid strategic planning, these fine fellas were planning on sticking their tongues out at our opponents with a classy “Haha! Now you like boys! Take that!”

2. Only the pompous, homophobic generals that lead our soldiers would be ignorant enough to think that aphrodisiacs could manipulate sexual orientation. Countless studies have shown sexual orientation to be unalterable. If aphrodisiacs have control over homosexuality, wouldn’t a lot of closeted gays be sniffing incenses and magically liking girls?

3. Even if this bomb could turn soldiers gay, it takes a real idiot to assume that being gay is indicative of poor performance in the military. It’s an age-old, uninformed assumption that all gay men are irresistibly attracted to one another. It is demeaning to homosexuals to describe them as this sub-species: animal-like in their inability to control sexual urges.

4. Oh, and get this—the military was going to spend $7.5 million to develop the gay bomb. Awwwwwwesome.

So while I’m glad that this plan was never enacted, I’m appalled at the childish strategy that was cultivated by the military leaders with whom we trust our soldiers’ lives and our country’s security.

Yahoo! News

Baldwin has been very vocal about his opposition to the war, but still supports the troops. He is set to meet with the Kane family in Mohave Valley next week to present the check in person.

I love Alec Baldwin. I had the chance to meet him a few months ago in the office where I worked, and he was very nice and handsome and quirky. And now, I love him even more! It’s great to see people with gobs of money get personal and give back every now and then.

If you want to help out the troops, Soldiers’ Angels is a great place to donate money, letters and simple care packages.

If you want to check out Alec at his best, watch this classic clip from SNL. It’s Schweddy-licious!