Why, this is fantastic. Finally, there’s a way to get my bagels and lox fix at the bar (because isn’t that what everyone craves after 6 shots to the face?!). And no, not just at some swanky place that has waiters going around with hors d’oeuvres. A distillery in Wasilla, Alaska (note: the very same town that brought you Sarah Palin), has actually created smoked salmon flavored vodka.

Yes, Salmon.
Vodka.

I’m all about vodka (I’m an equal opportunity drinker) and I like me a nice piece of lox from time to time (usually on a big, delicious bagel), but I’m sure I’m not the only person who thinks this pairing is more disturbing than Spencer and Heidi. I mean it doesn’t even go with Red Bull! And how would one order a salmon vodka cocktail?

“I’ll take the smoked salmon vodka on the rocks, please. Oh, and could you line the rim with cream cheese? And maybe throw in some capers while you’re at it? Thanks.”

Absolutely sick. I mean, what’s next? Cheeseburger vodka? Taco vodka? Baked-ziti pizza vodka? At least those could double as both a cocktail and a post-cocktail late night snack. Think about all the calories you’ll save when you can drink your burrito! But salmon vodka? Only in Alaska.

Levi Johnston wants to set the record straight, alright?

Apparently sick and tired with what the media is doing to his image — crafting him into a stupid redneck who accidentally got Sarah Palin’s daughter preggo — Johnston decided to talk to the Associated Press about everything from his love of Bristol to what he really thinks of Barack.

“We both love each other,” Johnston told the AP about Bristol. “We both want to marry each other. And that’s what we are going to do.” When it comes to his new baby (due in December), Johnston seems just as equally “excited.”

“I’m looking forward to having [the baby], I’m going to take him hunting and fishing. He’ll be everywhere with me.”

As for that Myspace page that claimed Johnston was a proud redneck and didn’t want kids? Turns out his friends made it a year ago as a joke and he had nothing to do with it — I mean, so he says.

The author of the AP article writes that Levi is a “soft-spoken” scruffy hottie who’s also an “avid hunter” — he’s got animal skulls littering his Alaskan home. After learning that his gf was pregnant, Levi dropped out of high school and now works in the oil fields as an apprentice technician, doing all he can to make the dolla dolla bills for his new family. Read More »