College Candy

The summer after I graduated from high school I was excited to finally be free from compulsory family vacays to celebrate the 4^th of July. So to celebrate both America’s and my own newfound independence, I went big, I went all out – I went to a house party.

It was the kind of party I look back fondly on in remembrance of high school days. There was cheap vodka, a backup keg, and plenty of top shelf liquor plucked from the generous hostesses’ parents liquor cabinet. The night started out innocently enough, with keg stands, red and blue shots (white didn’t work out the way we’d planned), and plenty of high schoolers bragging about just how wasted they were.

As a mature, soon-to-be-freshman, I was so over the same un-graduated attendees that had been plaguing house parties for the last 4 years of my life. As I lamented the lack of “real men” with my equally sophisticated best friends, the college guys showed up. Read More »

It’s no secret that alcohol changes people. After a night of drinking, we’re often surprised by what we may or may not have done during a night of debauchery. Oftentimes we end up with great stories, but there are also those nights that leave us wondering how the hell we ended up on a stranger’s couch with only one shoe, a purse full of ping pong balls, and 17 new phone numbers in our phone (all listed under names like, “bathroom dude,” “cigarette guy,” and “hgjb52″) .

The truth is, alcohol lowers our inhibitions…and standards…for everything.  We do things when we’re drinking that we’d never, ever, in a million years consider when we’re sober (like mixing ranch dressing and brownies).

Here are five of the most common things that are oddly tolerable – and even preferred – when the booze is flowing through our systems: Read More »

Dear Drunk Girl,

Hi sweetie. Long time no see. I take that back. I saw you last Friday. Same place, same hazy look in your eyes, different black dress that falls down to expose your bra. This one doesn’t have vomit on it… yet! Congratulations.

As much as going out and drinking in college is an integral part of your experience, I don’t think you serenading a fraternity with “Like a Virgin” into your half-empty Smirnoff handle (your makeshift microphone) while balancing on a coffee table is necessarily the right way to spend your Tuesday night.

You were very stylish at the beginning of the night. Your dress hung perfectly, eyelashes were curled, hair was straightened, heels were spotless and your jewelry matched. However, after those three, four or five shots of Patron? That sexy little dress you picked up at the Saks sale is riding up and showing off your embarrassing leopard print boy shorts. The mascara you so diligently applied is now running down your face after your tearful breakdown about how much you “love everyone sooooo much” and “like, can’t wait to have you all as my bridesmaids.” You seem to have more hair in your face than in your ponytail and one of your high heels is nowhere to be found. Check yourself, honey. Read More »

You set your alarm for 6:00 AM. You haven’t seen the clock that early since your high school days. Unlike your high school days, though, you don’t hit snooze 5 times. In fact, you shoot out of bed, excited for the day to come.

You shower and dress yourself in your cutest green outfit (that you laid out last night) before heading out with the roommates to get in line for Kegs & Eggs (and a free t-shirt!) at one of the campus Pubs.

By the time 8am rolls around, you are chugging an Irish Car Bomb. By 8:30, your tongue is a bright shade of green, which you show off in the 26 selfies you take with your roommate.

The scene at the first bar gets old after awhile, so you grab your friends and move on. You stumble down the street en route to a house party giving a “Woohoo!” and high five/hug to every other St. Patrick’s Day celebrator on the street. You stop and heckle that kid who is clearly going to class. “What is wrong with you?! It’s OUR holiday!!”  You run into someone dressed as a Leprechaun and make him take a picture with you. (And think to yourself, “I’ll just tag him as Random Leprechaun Dude.”)

When you finally make your way to the party, you immediately hop on a team for green flip cup. Another Leprechaun Dude fills the cups with beer, but it looks different than the stuff you had at the bar. You soon find out that green beer is expensive, so these guys made it themselves by mixing food coloring into the cups/pitchers. Read More »

It seems like just yesterday I was packing my gloves, hats, and facemask to come back to school and start 2nd semester. And now, all of a sudden, it’s spring break. Time is of the essence and even though most people only have a few days or a week to pull themselves together, here are my last-minute spring break tips.

Invest in Sunscreen- I know. I sound like your mom. That’s because I’m quoting my own mom. But seriously its been months since your skin has been exposed to the sun. The only thing more tragic than coming back with cornrows from the Caribbean is returning to school with a 3rd degree burn and 4 inch blister on your face (true story).

Begin Drinking Dangerous Amounts- (And this is part of the blog where I veer away from anything my mom has ever said.) In just a few days you will be drinking more alcohol than your liver could ever imagine and unless you want to die, it’s essential you start building up your tolerance ASAP. I know that a lot of people have midterms this week but that’s no excuse to be letting your guard down. There should be beers at every breakfast and shots with every snack. If there is any point during the day where you could legally drive, you are not preparing yourself responsibly for whats going to happen during break.

Start Sleeping- When you’re not drinking, you should be sleeping. Sleep so much that you will never want to sleep again. Because you won’t be sleeping. Not for an entire week. Chances are that if you’re not in the mood to get some, your roommate will be. There’s no hope for any 8-hour nights in any spring break destination. Read More »

Eating whilst drunk is, in general, about as smart as sexing up strangers whilst drunk or calling ex-boyfriends whilst drunk, which is to say not very smart at all.

All the same, when I’ve consumed large amounts of alcohol, I’m going to go across the street and get chicken tenders from Whataburger. It’s just something that is inevitably going to happen, like Christmas every year, like my period every month (knock on wood), like my g*ddamn alarm clock going off every morning.

Because there is no single more satisfying aspect of the drinking experience than eating a lukewarm chicken tender at 2:30 in the morning. The nuanced interplay between the textures of chicken and breading somehow melds perfectly with the taste of Guinness that still lingers in my mouth.

That isn’t to say, of course, that other cravings don’t arise in my drunken state. Here are some other drunk food favs:

Potato Chips - Usually Sour Cream and Onion, which causes a serious breath issue in the morning (Onion + Alcohol=another reason to vomit). At the time, though, (like so many other things) it really seems like a great idea. Potato chips are usually pretty filling, you usually already have some at your house so you don’t have to drive around to find an open store to buy them (unless you live in a legitimate city and can simply walk outside for food) and they are fairly portable. By this I mean, you can’t very well bring your Chalupa into bed with you as you pass out. Or at least you really shouldn’t. I’ve passed out with my hand in a bag of chips before. Some would call that a cry for help, I would have called it being prepared. Read More »

Welcome to college, freshmen!

You may have made it through Welcome Week without any run-ins with the campus police (congrats!), but you still have plenty of opportunities to meet them up close and personal.

There are going to be many times this year and well into your college career that you will find yourself surrounded by alcohol. And, naturally, you are going to want to partake. Just beware–while you are navigating the university party scene, your RA’s, Campus Police, and Public Safety units are gearing up to bust underage revelers.

Here are some tips on how you can avoid getting written up before your first semester is over.

1. Don’t act like ‘The Freshman.’

Just because you suddenly have access to alcohol, it doesn’t mean you need to consume ALL of the alcohol at once. Even if the cops are out and about, they don’t have the manpower to hunt down every single underage boozer. So, they’ll zero in on the kid stumbling around with a trash can on his head before thinking twice about the passive mingler. The same goes with your RA, who really doesn’t want to walk in on you peeing in the corner of elevator. Read More »

If a recent poll on this site is indicative of college-aged women across the US (and I would suggest, modestly, that the women who visit CollegeCandy are above average intelligence) then most of us drink at parties to get drunk, to get wasted.

I understand that it’s become a college rite-of-passage to go to parties and drink too much. Repeatedly. For years. Hell, I have a year of my life that I barely remember and what I do remember, I wish I didn’t.

And doesn’t that just say it all? I know that I had a great time that year and met some great people, but I did a lot of stuff I wish I hadn’t. And I met a lot of awful people. And I had a lot of rough mornings.

But there is no use in trying to tell a college student not to drink, that in the long run, you’ll probably feel more embarrassed than nostalgic about those months or years spent in a haze. And I don’t necessarily think that people shouldn’t drink (I love beer), I just wonder about the mentality that seems to have permeated our society that in order to truly have the optimal amount of fun that one has to be completely wasted.

Especially because the opposite is true; I’ve found that the more wasted one becomes, the more obnoxious, the more forgetful, and the less cautious. Read More »

If you’re like most young adults, drinking is a definite element involved in your social life. And while there are a lot of fun aspects to drinking, there are a lot of bad things that come with it as well. You know: hangovers, mistakes, liver damage, and…(drum roll)…munchies from HELL.

For some reason, no matter how healthy I eat through out the day, everything is out the window once I’m drunk. I congratulate myself for being soooo healthy most of the time and yet I tell myself (and my friends with me) this whenever I’m wasted:

“I’m HUNGRY! I want PIZZA! Or…wings! Oh wait…a BACON CHEESEBURGER!”

This is certainly an innocent enough habit to pick up if you don’t drink regularly. However, as my college years went on, my nights of partying have become more frequent. And while I haven’t gained any weight, I’m lucky I didn’t!

Battling the urge to binge while drunk takes more self discipline than you likely can tap into while under the influence. BUT, it can be done.

Here’s how: Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 148

Mood: Unsteady

“I can’t believe I actually came with you!”

Rebecca slammed the front door behind us and yelled, doing her best to be heard over the loud, pumping music coming from the living room.

“I’m glad you did!” I screamed, “I would never have come by myself!”

The soccer house was already crammed full of people, everyone who was on campus during January break, it seemed, so it took us a few minutes to maneuver ourselves towards the epicenter of the party. I did my best to lead the way, grasping Rebecca’s hand tightly and pushing through people as inconspicuously as possible. It was past ten thirty, so most of the partygoers were too drunk to even notice Rebecca and I squeezing by them. Politeness is always wasted on the wasted.

As we pushed our way into the living room, I scanned the place for Sasha or Justin.

Do you see them?” Rebecca yelled into my ear and pulled her t-shirt down uncomfortably. Parties weren’t her thing, especially parties like this one. I made a mental note to buy her cupcakes someday soon. She deserved cupcakes. Read More »