I feel the need to preface this column with an admission that pornography is simply not my thing. Not my flavour of vodka. Doesn’t float my metaphorical boat. Quite simply, I find porn fake, unsexy and peripherally distressing. Not that I think porn is the work of satan or anything – I just find it distinctly unappealing. Fake fingernails in places they don’t belong? Legs in cramp-inducing positions? Bleached anuses and vulvas waxed to within a an inch of adulthood? Don’t even get me started. To employ the vernacular – nah, bro. Not keen.

I’ve watched porn before. Aside from films directed by Erika Lust, I’ve never truly found anything to my tastes. I’ve even watched porn with other people before. One particularly memorable afternoon, my five flatmates and I decided to watch Deep Throat. Mid-film, our city was rocked by a fairly robust earthquake. There’s some sort of deep lesson in there, I’m sure. Karma, perhaps? But that’s beside the point; watching porn with a sense of irony is leaps and bounds from watching porn intimately with your partner. In fact, the ridiculousness of Pirates can only truly be appreciated in company, I think. Read More »

When I walked into my apartment yesterday and saw the television, at first glace I was positive that my roommate was watching porn. There were scantily clad bodies everywhere, dry humping, (barely) clothed crotch-shots and some close-ups of faces that were taken by pleasure. I stood in my doorway shocked and confused – porn on the living room TV in mid-daylight when I’m expected home? — but after a moment of clarity, I realized that what was on TV wasn’t porn – it was MTV.

We’re adults, and if we want to watch other people have sex – or be filmed while having sex; that’s our decision to make.  The real problems come from naughty videos on TV that are borderline pornographic and available to children. I don’t want my niece and nephew to see Miley Cyrus gyrating up against random dudes in booty shorts after getting out of a cage, and I don’t want them seeing close-ups of Lady GaGa’s crotch. The FCC is overly concerned with swearing, or Janet Jackson’s boob – but seem to have no problem overlooking dry humping on mainstream TV. There is a very distinctive difference between nudity and pornography.

Pornography is sexual, nudity is natural. Read More »

While hanging out with some girlfriends this weekend, the topic of conversation kept coming back to porn. It wasn’t shocking to be discussing such a taboo topic (in graphic detail), but I was shocked to find out that I’m the only one who doesn’t watch it regularly.

“Dude, you’re single. How do you not watch!?” My friends looked at me in horror. They had favorite sites, saved searches and paid memberships!

I felt a little left out so I spent a bit of time “researching” last night. After a few hours of work I can totally see where the girls are coming from – some of it was quite…er…entertaining – but I’m just not sure if I’m a porn watching kinda gal.

Help. I’m torn.

Love It:
A girl’s gotta please herself once in awhile and the best way to get inspired is by watching other people being pleased, right? I mean, I guess you could just let your imagination run wild, but why should you when you’re just a click away from some really good stuff? You don’t need a boyfriend or a one-night stand; all you need is some porn and a lock on your door and you’re good. to. go.

And it’s also a really good learning opportunity. I consider myself to be an experienced sex-er, but there is always more to learn. There are positions and techniques that I didn’t even know existed until I watched – things the guys in the film really liked – which I will most definitely be trying out when this drought comes to an end. Read More »

I remember the first time I slept at my ex’s apartment. He ran out to get some pizza and I asked if I could use his computer to check my email.

“Yeah, just don’t look at my browsing history, k?”

Right – because you can tell a girl that and expect her not to wonder why on earth you would make that request!

He wasn’t out of the room for 30 seconds before I did just that. And the first site on the list? MamaLovesC*ck.com.

For real.

It was at that moment that I began to wonder just how prominent porn was in guys’ lives. I mean, I always knew they looked at it, but how often? For how long? And why, especially when they have a girlfriend spending the freaking night?

I asked a close friend for the answers. What did I find out? More than I ever wanted to know. Read More »