I feel the need to preface this column with an admission that pornography is simply not my thing. Not my flavour of vodka. Doesn’t float my metaphorical boat. Quite simply, I find porn fake, unsexy and peripherally distressing. Not that I think porn is the work of satan or anything – I just find it distinctly unappealing. Fake fingernails in places they don’t belong? Legs in cramp-inducing positions? Bleached anuses and vulvas waxed to within a an inch of adulthood? Don’t even get me started. To employ the vernacular – nah, bro. Not keen.

I’ve watched porn before. Aside from films directed by Erika Lust, I’ve never truly found anything to my tastes. I’ve even watched porn with other people before. One particularly memorable afternoon, my five flatmates and I decided to watch Deep Throat. Mid-film, our city was rocked by a fairly robust earthquake. There’s some sort of deep lesson in there, I’m sure. Karma, perhaps? But that’s beside the point; watching porn with a sense of irony is leaps and bounds from watching porn intimately with your partner. In fact, the ridiculousness of Pirates can only truly be appreciated in company, I think.

So let’s imagine a world in which I did enjoy porn. Would I enjoy it with a partner? Or would pornography be a solitary enjoyment? In honesty, I imagine it would be solitary. Watching porn with a significant other would catalyse so many concerns that it would hinder my enjoyment of sex. Am I as hot as that porn star? Am I as flexible? Can I do that thing with my tongue (hint: quite possibly not). As insecure as I am about my own abilities in bed, watching pornography would probably only add another layer of anxiety to my already muddled thoughts. This makes it sound like some arduous chore, but sex requires concentration – you’ve got to keep your head in the game. If my mind is wandering to some musing about how [some porn star] performs [some unattainable act], I’m going to be distracted and unable to do myself justice.

I’m being selfish, I realise. Surely there are many couples out there who enjoy watching porn together, and good on them. If they’ve found a way to keep things exciting and sexy, then I’m hardly one to judge. More to the point, I admire the fact that these couples respect and trust each other enough to watch porn together. I mean, it’s exposing a vulnerability, is it not? As with confessing your deepest, darkest fantasies, being turned on by pornography while with a significant other can be deeply revealing of a person’s tastes and desires. Perhaps it will benefit your sex life, if you are so lucky to find someone who enjoys pornography as much as you do.

Essentially, it comes down to your relationship with your significant other – trust and understanding are essential to any sexual relationships involving pornography. It can be a contentious issue, so I wouldn’t raise it out of the blue, and most certainly not during the first time you become sexually involved. Be sensitive to your partner’s needs, wants, and concerns – if they aren’t keen, don’t push the issue. Porn may be your cup of tea, but it doesn’t appeal to many (if not most) women. If you find something that works for you and your relationship, though, by all means enjoy yourselves!

Want to see if He Said he’s into watching porn with his current girl? COEDMagazine.com discusses the matter with us!

When I walked into my apartment yesterday and saw the television, at first glace I was positive that my roommate was watching porn. There were scantily clad bodies everywhere, dry humping, (barely) clothed crotch-shots and some close-ups of faces that were taken by pleasure. I stood in my doorway shocked and confused – porn on the living room TV in mid-daylight when I’m expected home? — but after a moment of clarity, I realized that what was on TV wasn’t porn – it was MTV.

We’re adults, and if we want to watch other people have sex – or be filmed while having sex; that’s our decision to make.  The real problems come from naughty videos on TV that are borderline pornographic and available to children. I don’t want my niece and nephew to see Miley Cyrus gyrating up against random dudes in booty shorts after getting out of a cage, and I don’t want them seeing close-ups of Lady GaGa’s crotch. The FCC is overly concerned with swearing, or Janet Jackson’s boob – but seem to have no problem overlooking dry humping on mainstream TV. There is a very distinctive difference between nudity and pornography.

Pornography is sexual, nudity is natural.

I am not anti-pornography, but pornography and pornographic images are for adult, not for children. I’ve learned a lot from porn, and I’ve had a lot of very drunken nights where porn was thrown on the ol’ laptop and hilarity ensued. I think that access to pornography – for adults, by adults – is something that should continue to be available to those who wish to consume it. While it should be regulated – actors should be tested weekly for STIs, sets should be monitored (as with any other production) to make sure that the actors are safe and acting on their own volition, and everyone involved needs to be 18+, but the notion that porn should be banned is kind of ridiculous. As with any other sex act, if it’s safe, sane, and consensual (and legal), I say go for it.

Many anti-porn groups rally that the women in these videos are being exploited. As a woman myself, I understand the basic concept of this, I always get hung-up on the fact that not only are the women consenting (in any kind of reputable video), but also that if we’re going to go along with the claim that women are being exploited, I think we must also accept that the men in these films are being exploited as well – it takes two to tango, remember? What happened to equality? The fact that it’s exploitive is what makes it so appealing – both for the people producing and for those consuming the material.

It’s also argued that pornography skews a teenager’s view of sex. While partially true, I like to think that most people who are watching porn realize that it’s entertainment and not exactly true-to-life. It’s like a person going to the hospital and expecting to be treated by Dr. House. Sure, there is a chance that pornography might make sex seem to be more of a wild and crazy adventure than it actually is, but most people will realize by the time they actually have intercourse that real sex is not like in the movies.

Pornography can be a good thing. But it’s only a good thing when it’s being viewed by educated adults – not my children who don’t know any better. (Note: I don’t actually have any children…thank god. I was just trying to make a point) The balance is screwed up in our society. We crack down on adults who choose to consume dirty videos, but make no effort to crack down on dirty videos that are in the realm of children. I’ll watch as much porn as I want, but never again do I want to walk into my apartment to find a half-naked Miley Cyrus on my television; that’s just wrong.

How do you feel about porn?

[Sidenote: I didn’t mention child pornography or people being forced into doing movies because those are not fair representations of the porn industry; those are violent crimes.]

“Dude, you’re single. How do you not watch!?” My friends looked at me in horror. They had favorite sites, saved searches and paid memberships!

I felt a little left out so I spent a bit of time “researching” last night. After a few hours of work I can totally see where the girls are coming from – some of it was quite…er…entertaining – but I’m just not sure if I’m a porn watching kinda gal.

Help. I’m torn.

Love It:
A girl’s gotta please herself once in awhile and the best way to get inspired is by watching other people being pleased, right? I mean, I guess you could just let your imagination run wild, but why should you when you’re just a click away from some really good stuff? You don’t need a boyfriend or a one-night stand; all you need is some porn and a lock on your door and you’re good. to. go.

And it’s also a really good learning opportunity. I consider myself to be an experienced sex-er, but there is always more to learn. There are positions and techniques that I didn’t even know existed until I watched – things the guys in the film really liked – which I will most definitely be trying out when this drought comes to an end.

Loathe It:
Even though I’m doing it in the privacy of my own room, watching porn makes me feel…weird. I’m not some horny 18-year-old boy, so it just feels wrong to bookmark porn websites on my computer. And while I love having sex, the thought of watching someone else do it makes me uncomfortable.

And don’t even get me started on all the inaccuracies present in most professional porns. The fake boobs, fake hair, fake orgasms;  the completely bare nether regions; the totally scripted dirty talk. I get so caught up in critiquing/laughing at half of these videos that I can’t do what I came to do.

And then the ick factor comes back. Seriously, watching porn makes me feel so gross.

I’m not really sure what to think. I want to like porn – mostly because I’ve been single since Palin was tapped to be McCain’s running mate – but I’m not so sure if I can do it. Thoughts?

I remember the first time I slept at my ex’s apartment. He ran out to get some pizza and I asked if I could use his computer to check my email.

“Yeah, just don’t look at my browsing history, k?”

Right – because you can tell a girl that and expect her not to wonder why on earth you would make that request!

He wasn’t out of the room for 30 seconds before I did just that. And the first site on the list? MamaLovesC*ck.com.

For real.

It was at that moment that I began to wonder just how prominent porn was in guys’ lives. I mean, I always knew they looked at it, but how often? For how long? And why, especially when they have a girlfriend spending the freaking night?

I asked a close friend for the answers. What did I find out? More than I ever wanted to know.