Yes, an Altoid for your lady parts.

Linger, the company behind this crazy idea, has created a sweetened mint “which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused.” This slow releasing tablet freshens your…er…vagina breath (?) for up to 60 minutes so that “your partner will want to spend more time tasting the new you.”

And all I have to say is…. well, I have a lot to say.

“The new you”?! This isn’t a new me, it’s the old me with a mint shoved up my cooter. This whole “women need to be super self conscious about their vaginas” thing is getting old. If you shower on a regular basis, your vagina and its odor are completely fine. The secretions are natural, and necessary to keep our lady parts healthy. And I think it’s about time we love our vaginas, and all the natural juices that come with them.

Not to mention that this tin of mints costs $8. Why don’t we just shove a stick of Spearmint up our vagina’s? A pack only costs 3 bucks and it would do the same thing. And since when have vagina’s become monsters with dragon breath and a set of vampire teeth ready to chomp away on a mint?

I say absolutely not, Linger. When men start Febreezing their balls pre-foreplay, we’ll consider mints for the lady parts. Until then, whoever is “spending time tasting me” will just have to suck it up (pun intended) and enjoy the old, me. Natural flavors and all.

When it comes to ending a relationship gone bad, there’s a right way to make the break (and it doesn’t involve leaving an “It’s over, I’m sorry” note for your significant other to discover under her door or in her inbox). In “Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Her” you learned when the break-up is inevitable, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to do the actual breaking-up. Instead of procrastinating, we have a few ideas to guide you through this unpleasant confrontation.

1. Tell her first

Don’t let her find out you want to break up with her from her cousin who knows a girl who overheard a guy who talked your dad who thinks he heard from your best friend. You obviously care somewhat about this girl if she is your girlfriend. So, out of respect for her, it’s only right that she be the first to know about it.

2. End it face-to-face

Be a man. Don’t call her, text her or email her this kind of news. She will probably want to talk to you after you break it to her and there is no other way to have a serious conversation with her unless you do it in person.

3. Say what you mean

Communication is key. You need to keep it short, sweet and simple. Express yourself calmly and clearly, and get to the point. It’s best to rehearse in your head what you want to say before actually talking her. You want her to see and understand your rationale for coming to this decision. Give her concrete examples why it just isn’t working anymore.

4. Don’t let her waterfall of tears intimidate you

Girls cry a lot and she will probably cry at the onset of your news, but this shouldn’t derail you from your original mission: to break up with her. Remember you made up your mind, so don’t fold once she opens the waterworks.