It seems like every time I have lunch with my mom, we have the following conversation:

MOM: (after a thoughtful silence) So…

ME: (while eating) Mmhmm?

MOM: So, is he….the one?

ME: (still eating, somewhat muffled) what?

MOM: Have you discussed the “M” word?

ME: (after a pause, uncomfortably) Well, I guess…

MOM: (bursts into tears)

She’s not crying because she doesn’t like my significant other, quite to the contrary. She is crying because she realizes that marriage is another step towards adulthood and away from any pretenses that I am still a virgin.

I get uncomfortable during this conversation not because I am uncomfortable at the prospect of marriage but because I’m uncomfortable with the pomp and circumstance implied by the whole dress-cake-church-crying parents to-do. A big wedding is something that popular culture tells us that women have been dreaming about since they were little girls, but every time I think about having to put all that time, money and effort into one day, I get unpleasantly itchy.

The truth is, I am sort of engaged, but I haven’t told my mom yet. I don’t want my huge southern family losing their collective sh*t or making a big thing out of it, I also really don’t want to have the you-don’t-need-a-grossly-expensive-ring-to-be-engaged conversation, but mostly I don’t want to have to deal with my mother’s shock and total dismay when I tell her about the wedding plans we’ve made (and I use the terms “wedding” “plans” and “made” very loosely).

We are eloping. To Oregon. To get married at a doughnut shop. Read More »

Your dream has finally come true. You’ve made it into a private college, you’re paying upwards of $50,000 per year for your education, and you’ve just met the man of your dreams- a wealthy and intelligent man, who you plan to marry upon graduation. Congratulations, you have just been awarded your very own ‘MRS‘ degree… and will never have to work again!

Possible holders of an MRS degree (pronounced EM-AR-ES) are women who attend college just to meet potential husbands with high social standing and future earning potential.

This phenomenon, which occurs predominantly at private Christian institutions, has turned America’s ‘Bible colleges’ into ‘bridal colleges’. On these campuses, engagement is not only an eagerly awaited (and accepted) part of a relationship, but marriage is often promoted and planned around graduation.

“I don’t care how young I am. I love my boyfriend and I know we will get married and start a family when I graduate,” says one eager Baylor University female. “Never having to work – that’s just fine with me.” Read More »

Wow! I stumbled upon this gorgeous little audio clip on PharmaGossip.com and OMG- this will absolutely kill you.

The long and the short of it is, This guy is about to propose to his girlfriend of 4 years, when he finds out she was caught giving some “oral dictation” to her Boss in the bathroom stall at the company Christmas Party. So, instead of breaking up with her in person, he recruits some help from a local radio show.

The result is painfully cruel- Gorgeous, I tell you.