Gossip Girl: Weddings Are Never All About Love

GOSSIP GIRL

Me. Crying. For the entire scene.

Call me a sap all you want, but there were tears this week. Real ones.

First they were tears of frustration and anger – crying because the scene that I have been anticipating for weeks, when Rufus and Lily finally discover that Scott is their son, was squished into some 15 second clip where Georgina walks by and breezily mentions it. But then it became tears of happiness as Rufus professed his undying love to Lily and told her to stop getting cold feet and just move them down the aisle already. And then the tears turned to even more happiness and love when Scott and his parents hugged and cried and proved that children given up by their parents at birth really can re-integrate into their previous families twenty years later.

Sounds kind of like a Lifetime movie, but I’ll work with it. Box of tissues in hand.

Sidetrack to Georgina for a second: The only word for her this episode is CREEPY. And I’m not just talking about her whole I-love-Dan-and-I’ll-do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-him-back thing. Is she getting paler and more wide-eyed every episode? I know it suits her overly-involved obsessive personality, but come on, makeup artists – ever hear of bronzer? Maybe if she started reading CollegeCandy she’d learn some much needed makeup tips and how to spot a guy who isn’t into her so she can move on instead of trying to ruin things for him and his superstar, hot, Hilary Duff actress girlfriend. But more importantly, she’d learn a few things about bronzer.

Now back to Rufus and Lily: After tip-toeing around each other, they finally tie the knot at the Brooklyn loft (insert more tears that their perfect garden with perfect flowers in perfect weather didn’t get to happen). Jenny made the gorgeous wedding gown, Serena wore some fabulous frock that made her boobs look ridic and Jenny wore….my grandma’s moo moo. I wept for her stylists.

We all know that no big event on the Upper East Side could ever run smoothly and a Lily Bass wedding is no exception. Even before the big “this is your son” debacle, we finally learned that Carter Basin scammed the Buckleys into paying off his debts. But last we saw, his gorgeous body and that face-so-hot-it-makes-me-tear-up were sandwiched between two very large Texans and about to be used to pay back his bookie fees. Apparently Southern families never forget. And apparently those Southern girls will do anything to help their families, and that includes using one poor Nate Archibald. Poor kid, he really thought that Brie was falling for him. He should have listened to the astonishing, gorgeous, please-let-me-be her Blair Waldorf.

“No girl is that nice.”

And no other girl would get an amazing Chuck Bass massage, a moment I watched with tears in my eyes since my boyfriend doesn’t take cross-continental massage technique lessons.

Well, at least I’m not Carter Basin. Homeboy’s in for some serious pain. We’ll just have to see how it all goes down next week. Until then….

You know you love them.
XOXO.
GGR.

(Gossip Girl Recapper)

It’s World Vegetarian Day! Pass the Broccoli

eating broccoli

I have never really liked meat. The idea of a bloody (or even well-done) steak with neatly criss-crossed grill marks on my plate has never been appealing to me, and I have basically limited my carnivorous intake to the occasional chicken breast. My boyfriend is a vegetarian, and I can go for long stretches of time without eating any meat at all. So why am I not a vegetarian, too, already?

Here are the reasons I’ve come up with (while sitting over a bowl of my mom’s famous beef stew):

- It still doesn’t seem to be quite accepted. If you’re invited to dinner at someone’s house or invited to a wedding or some other bash, it’s assumed that you eat meat. If you don’t, you either have to make everyone feel bad by arranging for a special plate or you have to forage for roots and berries among the side dishes.

- Some of my favorite dishes from childhood have meat in them. Sure, I don’t eat them now, but when I go home and my mom makes them, it’s sweet (and they’re still delicious). Knowing I couldn’t eat those anymore would kind of depress me. Wait, who am I kidding? It would totally depress me.

- One of my goals is to travel around the world, and I don’t want to have to limit myself in any way when I do that. Especially when it comes to eating local fare that may or may not come from an animal.

- BACON. Need I say more? Read More »

Saturday Read: Commencement by J. Courtney Sullivan

commencementAlthough reviewed as “one of this year’s most inviting summer novels” by the New York Times, J. Courtney Sullivan’s first novel Commencement is the perfect back-to-school dorm room read to carry any undergraduate woman through the first days of their fall term. Whether you are a first year or a senior, Sullivan’s story about friendship, feminism, and the climb towards maturity will find its way into your heart.

A narrative about four friends at Smith College, an all women’s college in Massachusetts (famous alumnae include Gloria Steinem, Julia Child, Sylvia Plath, Betty Friedan…just to name a few), Sullivan captures the essence of what it means to make friends in the richest sense of the word, while chronicling life on campus and post-graduation adulthood.

Each character is truly distinct, making the novel easy to identify with. Think the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, except more adult. Sally, Celia, Bree, and April are four very different women, but their individuality weaves together beautifully, showing that sisterhood looks past Sally’s love for Lily Pulitzer, Celia’s conservative-yet-wild side, Bree’s Southern Belle charm, and April’s radical feminism to form a life-long bond, even if the girls couldn’t be more uncommon from each other.

Sullivan, alumnae of Smith herself, paints the all women’s atmosphere just as it should be, a unique and tradition-filled roller coaster of emotions. Giving an accurate glimpse of what it means to be a young woman at a college without men, Sullivan does not degrade Smith or the single-sex setting, but instead lifts it up and showcases it in a light that most do not see when they hear “all women.” Read More »

10 Things We Hate About Weddings

wedding1_smSummer is well on its way (it’s June already!), as we all know.  Along with the endless sunny days and exponential increase of guys without their shirts on,  we (unfortunately) also have to deal with the beast that is the summer wedding.

Some of you may protest, “but I like weddings!  They’re fun!”  Does sitting around for hours with pit stains in a dress you hate in the company of people you barely know with a severe case of sobriety sound fun to you?  There are obviously some exceptions (especially if you are the bride or you’re just the “+1″ on an invitation), but here are the 10 things we hate about weddings:

1). Bridesmaid Dresses – This is probably the worst thing on our list and definitely the one with the worst reputation (see uglydress.com and the hundreds of other sites dedicated to the fashion offenses committed in the “bridesmaid dress” genre).  A summer wedding could only improve an ugly dress you didn’t want to wear – the pit stains will totally distract people from that pink poofy thing around your hips.

2). Weird Relatives – Seriously, where did those guys come from?  I’ll bet you never knew that your Uncle Jed (Uncle Who??) from Sweden was a professional turnip juggler.  He’s just dying to tell you all about his most  recent competition, too.

3). Inadequate Seating – Wooden chairs and pews are so not comfortable, especially when you’re forced to watch something akin to My Big Redneck Wedding play out in front of your eyes (or, even worse, Bridezillas).  Let’s get some couches up in here, or at least a cushion (at the very least, you could use the excessive amount of tulle in your ugly bridesmaid dress as a make-shift cushion).

4). The Lack of Alcohol – Unfortunately, not all weddings include the magical words “open bar.”  Some of them are even dry weddings (gasp!).  Seriously, if you’re gonna make us sit next to your creepy cousin at the singles table, then you better be handing out the bottles of wine like candy.

5). The Bride – We love her, we want to be her (maybe), but we also want to kill her.  For some reason, once a girl gets a ring on her finger, it’s like getting permission to regress to when you were a toddler and were spoiled by everyone.  Sorry, but if you’re not two years old, you just can’t rock a temper tantrum.

6). Ugly Groomsmen – Even the worst wedding can be saved by a couple pieces of eye candy in tuxes…but nothing ruins a summer wedding faster than an uggo in a sweat-stained tux.  Especially if you’re a bridesmaid.  Especially if you’re a single bridesmaid.

7). Children – Kind of like a spastic bride, if you put a kid in a pretty dress, it’s pretty much a free pass for any and all misbehavin’.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m kinda jealous that they get to take their shoes off and run around screaming in their dress clothes.  However, my jealousy is buried by my displeasure at being seated at the singles table with them (or at the end of the head table, stuck with the job of babysitting the flower girl).

8). The Chicken Dance – Just…no.  No one can look good doing this.  It’s not fun.  It’s not cute.  Stop the madness.

9). Bridesmaid Drama – If you’re lucky enough to be a part of the wedding party, then you get special privileges that other guests do not…such as bridesmaid drama.  Nothing kills an evening like trying to control a cat fight between the bride and her sister.  Trust me, you do not want to get caught up in that.

10). The Sheer Numbers – Once you get to a certain age, you start getting more and more of those little lacy  invitations in the mail (particularly in the summer).  As if one wasn’t enough!  You better invest in a flask and an amazing LBD right now.

Miss Manners: The DL on Weddings

WeddingParty

[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something.

While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world. I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know]

One of my oldest childhood friends is getting married this Saturday and, quite frankly, I am horrified by the thought of attending his wedding. Not that I have anything against the lovebirds; on the contrary, I’m glad he’s happy. It’s just, well… I never know how to act at weddings. There are just too many unspoken rules, too many unanswered questions: What do I wear? Black? White? Should I go casual or dressy? What do I bring? Who do I bring? Can I bring someone? And so on.

It’s enough to keep you from going to the blasted wedding at all. Well, I’m here to speak those rules and answer those questions. Buckle up my lovelies…

Dress code:
Can I wear white? NO! Never, ever wear white to a wedding.

What about black? Yes, black is perfectly acceptable at weddings. In fact, most people do. As long as you keep from looking like part of a funeral procession, you should be fine. Read More »

An Open Letter to Those Friends Who Think it’s Okay to Get Married Before 25

cinderellaweddingcaketopper.jpgDear Engaged Friends,

So, congratulations! Have you picked a date? Done the dress shopping? Gone cake tasting? Picked the esteemed members of your bridal party? Great! So if we could take a minute to shift the focus over to me? Yeah.

You’re freaking me out.

Early, early, early 20s are not a time when the general “you” should be worried about marriage, especially when I can’t even decide whether I want to go to grad school or work or what. And yet, you’re kind of making me think I should be worried. I mean, isn’t everybody in the dating game right now, yourselves excluded? Aren’t most pople our age single? Don’t you know that marriage is supposed to be forever and divorces are really expensive and, frankly, so are weddings (especially on the east coast—eep)?

And also, are you going to get all judgy all of a sudden? I’m still the delinquent “single friend” who can’t land a boyfriend for more than a couple months at a shot, I have no life direction as yet (but we’re hoping, any day now, for an epiphany)… Are you going to keep giving me that “I’m judging you without trying to seem that way” look while continually asking how my dating life is going? Because I can tell you already: I’m really not going to meet anyone anytime soon. I’m pretty sure I’m bad at the dating game and I probably can’t even find someone to commit to being my date at your wedding to keep me from looking as alone and pathetic as I apparently am…

No, it’s fine. I’ll be at the bar, don’t worry about it.

Wait; you are having an open bar, aren’t you? Read More »

Graduated and Engaged?

engaged.jpgOne of my good friends finished college. Three cheers for her, I say! Way to get it done in four years.

Last night, though, this same good friend also got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. Um. Congratulations?

Yeah, yeah, so they’re in love, whatever. I get it.

I was in love once. I never actually talked to the guy, but it was there. I’m still a little baffled by her annoucement of love and commitment at such a tender age as 22. Maybe it’s me, but a lot of the time, I still feel 14. I just have so much to learn about myself before I can conceive of taking the black – and – white plunge.

And before she started dating her boyfriend — oops, i mean her fiance — my friend was right there with me, braiding my hair in the photobooth with an economy bag of fun – size Snickers and a stack of trashy magazines.

Now, she has the Big Job, the Big Ring, the Big Life, and I’m wondering what to do with all these issues of Jane and feeling like I should take the training wheels of my bike. Read More »

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride…And That’s Fine With Me!

bridesmaids.jpgAfter just returning home from my older brother’s wedding over the weekend, I am feeling the physical repercussions, which can only mean I had a kick-ass time: two tired feet, a bunch of sore muscles and one hell of a hangover. And get this: I didn’t even have a date.

Being that this was my first real wedding experience and I was a bridesmaid, I got to see what really goes on behind the scenes of a twenty-something wedding. I realized many things about love and relationships and the craziness that is planning for such an occasion.

Weddings are special because they allow you to bond with family, as you all witness together, the bond between husband and wife become sacred and, hopefully, one that actually sticks in the end.

But I was already aware of that mushy stuff much going into it, and, sure, I wanted to bring along my own special someone to share it with.What I didn’t know is just how much weddings make for fabulous places to party, meet members of the opposite sex and opportunities to better appreciate life as a single girl! Woohooo! Let’s make some memories, people. Read More »