I love being alone in my apartment. I love it so much that after two years of living with three roommates, I decided to move into a one bedroom with ZERO roommates (except two cats). Since moving in, I’ve had a lot of time to myself. At first, I didn’t know what to do with that time, and sometimes I would just pace around thinking, “What am I supposed to be doing?” The answer to that question is, “WHATEVER I WANT TO DO!” I live alone! I don’t have to worry about looking foolish or annoying any roomies. I can relax however I want or be as obnoxious as I want to.

I’m sure many of you have roommates, but I bet there are times when you are the only one in your apartment. Take advantage of that time! You don’t need to sit around feeling bored and wondering when your roomie is coming home. You need to do these things instead…

initiating the gallery...

[Lead image via CandyBox Images/Shutterstock]

Take a break, dude. You deserve it!

Part of the reason I write a Weekly Ten is because I’m paying homage to my man David Letterman (seriously, my dad hasn’t ever missed an episode), and partly it’s because I like lists. Particularly lists where I can prattle on about whatever issue I feel is super relevant. Ya know, like how I’m just not that into you or being super fabulously sober.

This week I’ve decided to list the 10 jobs that totally deserve to sleep in past noon on this very special Labor Day. Why is it even called Labor Day? Shouldn’t it be Not-Labor Day? But I digress. Some people deserve a break for all they do/deal with on a daily basis. I don’t have the power to give it to them, but maybe they’ll note my appreciation and hook me up in the future.

So here are the people both on and off campus that totally deserve the holiday and our respect on this last official day of summer.

10. The Pizza Guys
Now, I don’t know if you are on first name basis with your 2 AM pizza man, but I certainly am. Heyyyy, Dimitri! Let me tell you, the guys who work the counter at the hot spot pizza place deserve this day more than anyone. I can’t even fathom the amount of drunk kids that Cappy’s (Northeastern’s pizza joint… only apropos when wasted) deals with. Hopefully they’ll take this day off, enjoy no one vomiting on their counter and maybe indulge in some food that isn’t deep fried.

9. College Janitors
Throwing sawdust and cleaning up vomit? Peeling pizza off dorm hallways? Scrubbing out showers covered in nasty, cheap beer? Please take a beach vaykay. We heart you and all you do for us.

8. Heidi and Spencer
Just take a vacation from the media, for the love of God.

7. The ladies who make the sandwiches in the cafeteria.
Recently, my good friend went to order a sandwich off the menu, but she had a few demands. Here’s how it went down.
Friend: Okay, I see that you have the Hemenway Special Sandwich. Yes, I want that. But can you make it a wrap?
Sandwich Woman Glares
Friend: Thanks… whoa! What are you doing with that mayo? No mayo. No actually, light mayo.
More Glaring
Friend: Can you substitute the ham for low fat turkey?
Sandwich Woman: I MAKE THE SANDWICH!

You totally deserve a Labor-less Day, lady.

6. Any and all taxi drivers
Mostly because my roommate insists that every cabdriver he drunkenly encounters is Ben Bailey and demands that the cabbie: “ASK US A QUESTION! WE’RE IN A CASH CAB!!! WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION? COME OOOOONNNNN BRO!!” I won’t be leaving my bed today, so hopefully they’ll get to enjoy this day off as well.

5. The Health Clinic Nurses
“I totally don’t know how I got these ping pong balls stuck in there…”

4. The Bouncer.
Take this holiday to shave your neckbeard and not listen to Taio Cruz or make calls on “who’s real and who’s not” on their IDs.

3. Campus Security
Take the day to make the types of decisions that you bust students for. Maybe take a trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, walk a mile in our shoes. Or, you know, one broken high heel. Hypothetically.

2. The People Who Give Out Parking Tickets.
REALLY?? I was only 60 seconds late to get back to my car. Come on! Screw Labor Day, take a Labor Year.

1. The Dean
Helicopter parents, pompous professors with tenure, students who want A’s (even when they only showed up for a good four days of class) and alumni wondering why oh why the basketball team just can’t quite win the NCAA tournament. Ringleader, take a break from the campus circus and kick back with “The Economist” and a nice glass of wine. Enjoy a Monday without Mommy calling and asking why little Quentin can’t have his very own dorm room with a school-provided humidifier. You most definitely deserve it.

[Yup, this post was originally run in 2009, but these people still deserve a day off. And so do I.]

Costumes make everything better.

Every week you can count on a couple things: Drama on the Real Housewives, Mondays being a painful necessity of life and of course, the Weekly Ten.

Everyone gets stuck in the same routine on the weekends. Drink, drank, drunk. From frat parties to the bar, the whole thing can get a little tiresome. Here’s the bottom line: Parties are great. Parties with a theme? Even better. Here are the top ten party themes to throw or participate in.

10. Jungle
Any excuse to get some use out of those zebra pumps and leopard push up bra. Oh and to make some deathly jungle juice to feed the zoo of drunken college animals.

9. ABC (anything but clothes)
From duct tape to bubble wrap, this one is a sure winner and a great way to get creative with all those US Weekly mags that are piling up on your coffee table.

8. Stoplight
Simple and gets to the point that everyone wants to know: wear red for taken (or boring), yellow for “confused” or “it’s complicated” (really?), and green for good to go.

7. Hollywood
Dress up like your celeb doppelganger or that Hollywood trainwreck that you want to be for just one night. Yeah, I’ve rocked this as Miley Cyrus before. It’s amazing how many dudes wanna get with that girl…

6. Hipster
As everyone may know, this is my favorite trend. Break out your neon flannel, Nike dunks, skinny jeans and Ray-Bans and stock up with PBR. Make sure your iTouch is fully loaded with Cut Copy and Girl Talk and slap on your ironic accessories (swatch watch, visor, etc) for a good time.

5. CEOs & Office Hos
You wanna play secretary and the boss tonight? Here’s the perfect excuse to hike up that pencil skirt and snag that hottie who just looks so damn good out of his hockey jersey and suaved up in a suit and tie.

4. Top Gun
Bring your bestie wingman and your aviators.

3. Jersey Shore
Jagerbombs, Red Bull and vodka, Heineken and Muscle Milk are all a must. Finally get some use out of that nasty Ed Hardy shirt that you bought when it was trendy for 2 seconds (maybe). Who knows, maybe you’ll find yourself a Ronnie? Or at least get to lick some Situation-worthy abs. Beat up the beat and grab your banana clip.

2. Tea Partay
Based on my favorite lifestyle of all time, perfected in the YouTube. Seriously, no one is harder than a New England gangster. Slip into your topsiders and argyle and party til your pearls fall off.

1. Vegas
Gambling, drinking and being scantily clad? Nothing like Vegas, but bring the next best thing to your party. Get the games really going and get to the point with Vegas Spin the Bottle. Guaranteed to snag you that hottie.

As I’m sure anyone with an internet connection, mobile phone, or the ability to read knows: John Mayer is a tremendous douche bag. In a recent interview with Playboy, he reminds America (as if his Twitter feed wasn’t proof enough) why he is the most irritating dbag on the planet. I will reiterate douchebag multiple times in this article because I am fairly certain if you check the ingredients on Summer’s Eve, the primary ingredient is John Mayer.

Okay, sure, John Mayer shouts out his exes, claims his cock is a “white supremacist,” will do anything for attention, makes that nasty face when he sings and just generally looks like a grease ball who invented HPV, but certainly there have to be worse guys out there. And there are.

So allow me to list 10 guys who are even more un-dateable than the totally un-dateable Mr. Mayer.

10. Jon Gosselin Michael Lohan?
As a personal pact to myself to not name he-who-shall-not-be-named-ed hardy-ear piercing-hailey-glassman-screwing-child exploiting-a**hole, I will say, ugh, Michael Lohan. Any creepy show biz dads have to be worse than @JohnCMayer.

9. Spencer Pratt
Well thank golly he’s taken by his lovely Barbie, Heidi. Who wouldn’t love a guy so charming with his creepy flesh colored beard and all?

8. The Situation
Pauly D? Yes please. As for The Situation, this old-as-balls washed up Guido can get out. Creep!

7. Dane Cook
If I wanted to be with someone unfunny, obnoxious and sweaty, then he’d be the perfect man. Seriously, can you imagine the arm-flailing this guy would pull in the bedroom? Ugh.

6. Chris Brown
Enough said.

5. Perez Hilton
Now I know he isn’t into girls and I know he hates John Mayer (probably even more than I do), but still, certifiable douche. Leave Miley alone!

4. P.Diddy
No, I do not want to wake up in the morning feeling like I’m a cocky, entitled, untalented a**hole.

3. Kanye West
Although I am totally team Kanye over that devil child T.Swift, I could never date this man. If John Mayer and his egos got into a fight, it would be a tough call, but I’m sure Kanye’s would take a cheap shot and win.

2. Tom Cruise
Dude is just straight up creepy.

1. John Mayer
What can I say? He’s an a**hole AND his music sucks. And seriously? That O face? Ugh.

Bring in 2010 the right way.

This is not one of those weeks for me.

After a particularly excruciating weekend, I’ve come to realize a few things. First of all, Patron doesn’t sit well with an entire bottle of white wine. Secondly, if you go to an NHL hockey game on a Sunday, do not expect anything to get done that evening. Finally, and most relevantly, I need some serious guidelines when I go out.

Hence, this week I’m providing a survival kit for New Year’s Eve, the blurriest and biggest party night of the year. Here are 10 things everyone must have to ensure the biggest, baddest, awesomest, most memorable (with the help of that digital camera, of course) night.

10. Tacky 2010 glasses
I was mourning the end of these bad boys at the end of the year, but someone figured out how to make them for 2010. Score.

9. Champagne
This one is a given. Please upgrade your champagne choice from “the cheapest thing in the store.” Bad champagne = bad, bad hangover. I speak from experience. Trust.

8. Anything sequined or with sparkles
This is the one night of the year that you can dress up like Lady Gaga going to a disco and get away with it. Abuse the power. Buy those ridiculous sparkly heels you’ve been eying in Bloomingdale’s. And pair them with some leather leggings.

7. The buddy system
USE IT. Seriously, whether you’re staying local for NYE or hitting up the city, have a friend (or twelve) with you. No one likes being lost in some random Montreal club seconds before midnight. Especially when there’s a creepy mustachioed man standing next to you, looking for someone to smooch.

6. Snow tires on your car
Again, speaking from experience. Are you driving to some location that is not next door to you? Get those snow tires on that piece. Unless you’re south of the Mason-Dixen, then you should be in the clear. The past two New Years it has been blizzarding the entire night. Apologies to my friends who had to put up with me driving in the first place, and then suffer post traumatic stress from the skidding and near-death icy experiences.

(Note: I’m sure I don’t need to say this, but if you abuse #9, leave your car in that parking lot and get a cab. Snow tires will not help you if you’re elbow deep in Moet.)

5. A dude. Any dude.
You must make out on New Year’s Eve at midnight. Seriously. Another no-brainer.

4. Greasy food
You wanna have a successful resolution this year? Try, “Eat lots of greasy diner food,” because you will. Lots of it. Better get it all ready before you head out for the night (stock up on frozen pizzas or at least put Domino’s into your phonebook); you’re going to need it for the inevitable next day hangover. And the night of. And the entire week after.

3. That gross sweater your grandma got you
To keep you warm. And to accidentally lose.

2. A camera
With a strap. You don’t want to start 2010 with a busted camera after you “put your hands up,” “nodding your head like yeah, moving your hips like yeah” and fling that thing across the room. Plus, you look hot and there should be 128 pictures on Facebook come January 1 showing that to the world.

1. Knocking Live Video App
Even better than a camera. I know, I know, I’m a huge iPhone nerd, despite my former Crackberry addiction, but this ridiculously amazing app allows you to shoot video and share it with your friends live and in real time. So if for some reason your bestie starts macking it with Justin Timberlake (or some Larry King lookalike), simply whip out your iPhone and share it with the world. Seriously? Streaming video for all your New Year’s Eve shenanigans? Take that, blackout!

Ugh. I'd much rather be catching up on Glee than doin' this ish.

Thanksgiving. Sigh.

After being more stuffed than the holiday turkey, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that the holiday season has begun. Whether you celebrate Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or none of the above, it’s a given that you will be inundated with all kinds of holiday-ness over the next 6 weeks.

Whether you love it or hate it, every aspect of the holidays comes with some pros and cons. Yes, even getting lots and lots of presents. Have you ever had to do the fake “OMG I LOVE IT?!” upon opening the most awful gift ever followed by months of excuses when grandma doesn’t see you wearing those giant, sparkly cross earrings she got you? It sucks.

So, this week I’m gonna break down the ten best/worst things about the holidays. Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Season

10. Christmas music
Jingle Bell Rock? Loathe it. “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” by FOB? Love it.

9. Cookies
And Candy. And Gingerbread houses. And fruit cake (ew!). So many calories – yuck. However, like my mom says, calories don’t count on Xmas! Work it off before Spring Break and you’re in the clear.

8. Shopping
Shopping can be a bitch, especially if you hate mass crowds and fighting for a coveted Burberry coat. Skirt the crowds and the lines and shop online.

7. The Relatives
Embrace your family’s wackiness instead of taking a shot every time your crazy distant relative makes an inappropriate comment or asks you when “you’re going to start settling down.”

6. The High School Holiday Reunion
If you don’t want to deal with the HS frenemies, then don’t. Trade those tedious “Oh my godddd how have you beeeeeen”s for a quiet night in with the fam or a few cocktails with your besties.

5. Traveling
Pack only what you need, and CARRY-ON! Makes life a little less painless at the holidays.

4. Tacky Christmas Movies
Put on some giant sweatpants, make some hot cocoa (with a hint of Bailey’s) and embrace it. Especially “Elf“! I like to drink a little Irish Coffee every time Will Ferrell sings.

3. Presents
Learn to love what you get, even if it’s an ill-fitting sweater. Think of the DIY possibilities! Sweater turned handbag?

2. Tree Decorating
Detangling lights = not fun. Going through all the ornaments you’ve made through the years? Kinda fun. Making new ornaments with party pics of you and your besties? A total blast.

1. Eggnog
Sorry, I have no answers here. This sh** sucks. Unless it’s in the form of a milkshake from McDonalds. OMG, yum.

You know what I'd be thankful for? If Swine Flu wiped out the cast of The Hills.

Every week I write a list. Some people say I’m like David Letterman, only without that whole sexual scandal thing. Or gray hair. Or late night talk show. So, really, the only thing that D.L. and I have in common is our love of a Top 10 List. And what’s not to love? That’s why I bring ‘em to you every week. The real deal. The good stuff. The world’s most important issues.

You know, like stupid celebrities and things that piss me off on Facebook.

This week, in light of the upcoming treasured holiday, I started thinking about all the things in my life that I have to be thankful for: my family, the boy, YSL lipstick and, of course, the inevitable huge delicious meal my mama’s going to prepare this week. But that’s all kinda boring. I mean, who isn’t thankful for YSL lipstick family? So instead, I decided to count down the 10 things I’m un-thankful for this holiday season (or any season, for that matter).

10. The Swine
H1N1 or any other strain of the flu that everyone seems to have caught this year. Stay away.

9. Speidi
I don’t know how many times I can say it.

8. The Bump-it
I’m over this look, and what the hell? How is this a real thing?

7. Any douchey daddy drama in the celeb world.
I’m looking at you, Michael Lohan

6. Ugg boots
I don’t care that they’re comfy. They’re hideous and o-v-e-r.

5. Twilight
And New Moon. And the actors that I want to slap whenever I see their faces. And all that “I hate being famous” from Kristen Stewart. And the relationship rumors. And anything pertaining to this useless franchise.

R.Pat’s hair can stay.

4. Any and all Taylor Swift music
The girl is officially over-rated. Pretty sure I’ve got Kanye on my side on this one.

3. Ridiculous cleanses
Particularly the Blueprint cleanse. I don’t understand why anyone would starve themselves and suck down juice for three days to get cleansed… only to down an entire pizza the moment the whole cleansing process is over. Ughhh.

2. The amount of calories I’m going to consume on Thursday.
Which, by the way, is an average of 5,000 calories. Do you even know how many hours that is on the elliptical? Well don’t tell me. I don’t even want to think about it.

1. Levi Johnston

Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list…or that list, because I don’t really do groceries (there is a reason why they deliver pizza) and to-do lists are totally not my scene (if such a scene even exists) and, unfortunately, I haven’t added to that list in quite awhile.

No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever or which apps rock my world.

This week I’m focusing on the “click click flash” that consumes your weekend. You go out, someone inevitably breaks out the camera (every 4 minutes) and you start posing like you’re ready for the cover of Nylon. Great idea, but these pictures are going to end up on Facebook for the world to see the next day when you’re sober. Oof. And with today’s technology, you might be even caught in real time.

Who’s guilty?
Actually, who isn’t?

10. Self indulgent “Take one of just meeeee!”

You always think this one is a great idea. I’ll tell you something your friends (especially the one taking this photo) never will: it’s not a good idea. I promise you, it never is.

9. Drinking game picture

Congrats bro, you won a binge drinking game. Super rad!

8. Drunken girl-on-girl makeout

Your boyfriend? Not gonna be thrilled. Ok, so maybe he will, but did you forget that your great Aunt Frances is your FB friend?

7. Mirror Myspace look

Looking good with a giant flash obscuring you. Classic.

6. Obscene gesture… or action.

That’ll help you land your dream job.
Oh, and not looking at the camera does not make this photo look more natural or classy.

5. Passed out with Sharpie in your face

If you have one of these, your friends are jerks. If you have more than one of these, you seriously need help.

4. Drunken Photobooth?

Just, why? Was there really nothing better to do while you were buzzin’?

3. Nonfunctional drunkenness

Another big, fat “why?” How is this attractive? And who was the jerk who took this picture? And freaking sent it to all your friends? But, seriously, why did you decide to lay right there?

2. Pregaming

Since when is drinking in a tiny dorm room scrapbook material?

1. Pouty face, Peace sign

Overplayed.
ENOUGH SAID.

This week, I’m counting down the ten craziest technologies. Whether they’re crazy in the “what the f&!# way” or crazy in the “I need that NOW” way, I’m listing them all, from social media to iPhone apps. Gen-Y has access to the wackiest and most innovative technology right now and here’s my “Weekly Ten” take on all of it:

10. Twitter Peek
How have we reached this point? A device solely for Tweeting? The end is near.

9. Last.Fm
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you’re a music junkie like me you MUST get last.fm. You can download an app for your computer that scrobbles (crazy jargon!) whatever you’re playing and can show the world what you’re listening to. I love seeing what my friends are jamming out to. Last.Fm also creates a personal radio station for you that kicks Pandora’s butt by a mile. Love it.

8. Skype
Phone calls, video chat and texting. All in one and it’s international. You can even place calls thru Skype via the wifi on your iPhone. It’s a little buggy, but still pretty cool to call your friends abroad. FOR FREE.

7. DJ Hero
Okay, maybe it’s not revolutionary, but I’m so beyond excited for this it’s not even funny. Finally, I can create mashups of my very own! Hopefully I’ll be better at this than the drums on Rock Band. And hopefully this won’t give me those awful foot cramps like the drums on Rock Band.

6. Texts From Last Night
Yes, you can share every drunk text. In the world. And read everyone else’s. And read the ones that apply to your lives. Get them on your iPhone and even on your Twitter. TFLN is EVERYWHEREEE!

5. Farmville
I don’t know what it is but I don’t like it. However, Newsfeed lets me know that a huge amount of my Facebook friends are happily plowing away on their internet farms. Cool?

4. Google Wave
Kinda awesome concept, impossible to understand at this point. Get it together, Google!

3. BBM or Ping! app
If you have a Blackberry, you have a special messaging system for you and all your Blackberry friends. iPhone rebuttal? Ping! iPhone users exclusively chatting with other iPhone users. What is it about smartphone people that makes them so damn entitled to their very own messaging system? I don’t care – I love ‘em both.

2. Twitter
Okay, so maybe not brand new, but definitely newer than Facebook. Twitter rules. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I love following the constant updates from Perez Hilton to my fave haircare brand to my best friend. All in one. And the microblogging gives me the nitty gritty as opposed to all the the overshare of Facebook.

1. Knocking Pic
This insanely tech-forward iPhone app just broke today. First ever LIVE picture sharing. I’ve been beta testing this for a while and it lives up to the hype. Yes, INSTANTANEOUS sharing of pictures. No more MMS, no more uploading, live sharing of images. So if you catch your bff’s boyfriend cheating on her, you can instantly let her know; or if there’s a hot sale at Bloomingdales, your friend can instantly show you the dresses on the racks. I love the idea of this, but it’s crazy how far we’ve come with tech. Not to mention, the first 50,000 downloads are free.

Scary thought… live video sharing? We’ll see.

Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list, because I don’t really do groceries (Pad Thai take out, helloooo) and to-do lists are totally not my scene, if such a scene even exists. No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever.

This week, as a partner to The Ten Types of Guys at the Party, I’ve decided to include the female version. All in good fun, ladies! Who am I missing?

10. The Diva.
This girl is at the party, but she is DEFINITELY not trying to party. Pouting with her manicured fingers and heavily lined eyes glued to her cell, Diva will only speak to her tight-knit group of friends dressed in very similar outfits. She will not partake in any of the drinking games, she will not hook up with any guys and she will roll her eyes at those who do. Then she will leave an hour later to go off somewhere “cooler,” “more mature,” and just worthy of her time. 

9. The “Innocent” one
Dressed conservatively and drinking a microbrew or weak cocktail, this doll-faced darling looks like she’d rather be holed up in the library than at this very party. Wrong. She goes from “virgin” to skank in 3.5 drinks and will hook up with your boyfriend and cry about it later. Beware of the victim-playing. This girl is faker than her “leather” shoes and has run through more guys than Paris Hilton.

8. The Crazy B!#@$
Whoa. Vodka handle in one hand and the other hand down someone’s pants, the crazy B!#@$ is the wildest girl imaginable. Usually has her makeup smeared on her face, her hair a disarray and wants the music LOUDER! She won’t participate in games, but only because she’d rather dance on the table than flip cups off its edges. She’s the loudest girl on the block and she’s usually yelling something profane.

7. Intellectual smoker girl
This chick knows what’s going on in Iran and she wants to talk about it between puffs of her Parliament Lights. It’s Friday night and she’s giving her thesis on the Palestine/Israel conflict. You are dumber than her. Don’t bother.

6. Puck Slut
She’s down to do it as long as you play a college sport. Beer pong enthusiast, because that’s totally where the jocks hang, right? Doesn’t care if the team you’re on is winning, just as long as you have the jersey.

5. Needs To Party
She bombed her exam. Or her boyfriend just broke up with her. Or maybe her dog just died. Whatever the reason, this girl needs to party and she needs to party hard. You’ll see her taking shots early in the night and won’t see her again until a few hours later when her friends are carrying her out of the bathroom and into a waiting cab. Poor girl.

4. Selfie Sally
All that flashing in the corner has you searching for the strobe light, but it’s actually the flash coming from this girl’s camera. Don’t worry, though; she’s not snapping inappropriate pics of you to load onto Facebook. She’s taking pictures of herself. And her friends. Making funny faces, sexy faces, pouty faces, etc. Over and over and over again.

3. Debbie Downer
She’s sad. She’s alone. Her friends left and she doesn’t know how to rage. Slumped on the couch, pulling at her out-of-season Forever 21 top, she doesn’t realize that people would talk to her if she wasn’t so depressing.

2. The Flirt
She’ll hit on everyone. Looks like she’s gonna hook up with you? Nah. She probably has a boyfriend. She’s not interested, but she will pretend like she is all night. She thinks you’re “sooooo cute.” And him too. And him. And him. And her. And him. Wow, I wonder how she got all those free drinks?

1. That Girl
Enough. Said.

Got an idea for a Weekly 10 Topic? Let me know in the comments or shoot me an email at Melanie@CollegeCandy.com.