As I’m sure anyone with an internet connection, mobile phone, or the ability to read knows: John Mayer is a tremendous douche bag. In a recent interview with Playboy, he reminds America (as if his Twitter feed wasn’t proof enough) why he is the most irritating dbag on the planet. I will reiterate douchebag multiple times in this article because I am fairly certain if you check the ingredients on Summer’s Eve, the primary ingredient is John Mayer.

Okay, sure, John Mayer shouts out his exes, claims his cock is a “white supremacist,” will do anything for attention, makes that nasty face when he sings and just generally looks like a grease ball who invented HPV, but certainly there have to be worse guys out there. And there are.

So allow me to list 10 guys who are even more un-dateable than the totally un-dateable Mr. Mayer. Read More »

Bring in 2010 the right way.

This is not one of those weeks for me.

After a particularly excruciating weekend, I’ve come to realize a few things. First of all, Patron doesn’t sit well with an entire bottle of white wine. Secondly, if you go to an NHL hockey game on a Sunday, do not expect anything to get done that evening. Finally, and most relevantly, I need some serious guidelines when I go out.

Hence, this week I’m providing a survival kit for New Year’s Eve, the blurriest and biggest party night of the year. Here are 10 things everyone must have to ensure the biggest, baddest, awesomest, most memorable (with the help of that digital camera, of course) night.

10. Tacky 2010 glasses
I was mourning the end of these bad boys at the end of the year, but someone figured out how to make them for 2010. Score.

9. Champagne
This one is a given. Please upgrade your champagne choice from “the cheapest thing in the store.” Bad champagne = bad, bad hangover. I speak from experience. Trust. Read More »

Ugh. I'd much rather be catching up on Glee than doin' this ish.

Thanksgiving. Sigh.

After being more stuffed than the holiday turkey, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that the holiday season has begun. Whether you celebrate Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or none of the above, it’s a given that you will be inundated with all kinds of holiday-ness over the next 6 weeks.

Whether you love it or hate it, every aspect of the holidays comes with some pros and cons. Yes, even getting lots and lots of presents. Have you ever had to do the fake “OMG I LOVE IT?!” upon opening the most awful gift ever followed by months of excuses when grandma doesn’t see you wearing those giant, sparkly cross earrings she got you? It sucks.

So, this week I’m gonna break down the ten best/worst things about the holidays. Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Season

10. Christmas music
Jingle Bell Rock? Loathe it. “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” by FOB? Love it.

9. Cookies
And Candy. And Gingerbread houses. And fruit cake (ew!). So many calories – yuck. However, like my mom says, calories don’t count on Xmas! Work it off before Spring Break and you’re in the clear.

8. Shopping
Shopping can be a bitch, especially if you hate mass crowds and fighting for a coveted Burberry coat. Skirt the crowds and the lines and shop online. Read More »

You know what I'd be thankful for? If Swine Flu wiped out the cast of The Hills.

Every week I write a list. Some people say I’m like David Letterman, only without that whole sexual scandal thing. Or gray hair. Or late night talk show. So, really, the only thing that D.L. and I have in common is our love of a Top 10 List. And what’s not to love? That’s why I bring ‘em to you every week. The real deal. The good stuff. The world’s most important issues.

You know, like stupid celebrities and things that piss me off on Facebook.

This week, in light of the upcoming treasured holiday, I started thinking about all the things in my life that I have to be thankful for: my family, the boy, YSL lipstick and, of course, the inevitable huge delicious meal my mama’s going to prepare this week. But that’s all kinda boring. I mean, who isn’t thankful for YSL lipstick family? So instead, I decided to count down the 10 things I’m un-thankful for this holiday season (or any season, for that matter).

10. The Swine
H1N1 or any other strain of the flu that everyone seems to have caught this year. Stay away.

9. Speidi
I don’t know how many times I can say it.

8. The Bump-it
I’m over this look, and what the hell? How is this a real thing?

7. Any douchey daddy drama in the celeb world.
I’m looking at you, Michael Lohan

6. Ugg boots
I don’t care that they’re comfy. They’re hideous and o-v-e-r. Read More »

Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list…or that list, because I don’t really do groceries (there is a reason why they deliver pizza) and to-do lists are totally not my scene (if such a scene even exists) and, unfortunately, I haven’t added to that list in quite awhile.

No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever or which apps rock my world.

This week I’m focusing on the “click click flash” that consumes your weekend. You go out, someone inevitably breaks out the camera (every 4 minutes) and you start posing like you’re ready for the cover of Nylon. Great idea, but these pictures are going to end up on Facebook for the world to see the next day when you’re sober. Oof. And with today’s technology, you might be even caught in real time.

Who’s guilty?
Actually, who isn’t? Read More »

Every week I count backwards from ten. I know, I’m kind of a big deal. Usually these countdowns have a theme like which phrases really grind my gears (“grind my gears” should be mentioned) or how I’m I heart not drinking (which is a hard list to replicate cuz I’m really loving beer right now), but this week I’m leaning to my geekier side.

This week, I’m counting down the ten craziest technologies. Whether they’re crazy in the “what the f&!# way” or crazy in the “I need that NOW” way, I’m listing them all, from social media to iPhone apps. Gen-Y has access to the wackiest and most innovative technology right now and here’s my “Weekly Ten” take on all of it:

10. Twitter Peek
How have we reached this point? A device solely for Tweeting? The end is near.

9. Last.Fm
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you’re a music junkie like me you MUST get last.fm. You can download an app for your computer that scrobbles (crazy jargon!) whatever you’re playing and can show the world what you’re listening to. I love seeing what my friends are jamming out to. Last.Fm also creates a personal radio station for you that kicks Pandora’s butt by a mile. Love it.

8. Skype
Phone calls, video chat and texting. All in one and it’s international. You can even place calls thru Skype via the wifi on your iPhone. It’s a little buggy, but still pretty cool to call your friends abroad. FOR FREE. Read More »

Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list, because I don’t really do groceries (Pad Thai take out, helloooo) and to-do lists are totally not my scene, if such a scene even exists. No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever.

This week, as a partner to The Ten Types of Guys at the Party, I’ve decided to include the female version. All in good fun, ladies! Who am I missing?

10. The Diva.
This girl is at the party, but she is DEFINITELY not trying to party. Pouting with her manicured fingers and heavily lined eyes glued to her cell, Diva will only speak to her tight-knit group of friends dressed in very similar outfits. She will not partake in any of the drinking games, she will not hook up with any guys and she will roll her eyes at those who do. Then she will leave an hour later to go off somewhere “cooler,” “more mature,” and just worthy of her time. 

9. The “Innocent” one
Dressed conservatively and drinking a microbrew or weak cocktail, this doll-faced darling looks like she’d rather be holed up in the library than at this very party. Wrong. She goes from “virgin” to skank in 3.5 drinks and will hook up with your boyfriend and cry about it later. Beware of the victim-playing. This girl is faker than her “leather” shoes and has run through more guys than Paris Hilton. Read More »

Every Monday, CollegeCandy does a top ten countdown, Letterman style, about whatever everyone’s buzzing about. This week, we’ve decided to dissect the party animals we’ve all come to know and….well, just know.

We’ve all been at the sticky-floored keggers, so here’s a rundown of the ten types of dudes you’ll find at these parties. Every single party. Every single time.  Print this out and bring it to the next frat/house party to check these guys off as you see them. You can even turn it into a drinking game, taking shots as they pass. Although, on second thought, that might be a one-way ticket to alcohol poisoning. Read More »

I used to be extremely opposed to the iPhone. I mocked it, I thought it was childish and a waste. I was a proud user of the Blackberry for many years… until one day my Blackberry began to fail me. Calls were dropped (thanks a lot AT&T) and the phone was beginning to deteriorate. I was ready for an upgrade.

I visited my AT&T store, picked up the new Bold and immediately had issues. I was getting up to 150 text messages in a minute due to some virus. I went back, replaced it twice, only to keep having the same issue. I finally was so aggravated one of the employers was able to convince me to buy an iPhone. My whole world was turned upside down. No one even knew who I was anymore.

Now, three iPhones later (what? They break easily… especially after a few dirty martinis and my habit of throwing things in frustration) I’ve come to terms with the thing, if only for the apps. The service still bites (thanks again, AT&T) and I’m not the biggest Apple fan, but I do love my iPhone apps. Read More »

Letterman and Palin’s tiff over his hilarious and, okay, slightly horrible and sexist comments, had the media’s focus back on our favorite Alaskan governor: Mrs. Sarah Palin. Finally – after a lot of back, forth and all around – the two kissed and made up and all is right with the late night funnyman and ex-candidate for VP, who, shocker, has a sense of humor?

Inspired by the feud and by Letterman’s classic “Top Ten” format, I’ve decided to do a Weekly Ten on whatever the presses and our readers are buzzing about. Late Night, CollegeCandy style. Now even though Palin jokes are so last fall, as a tribute to both Dave and Ms. Palin, I’m going to kick off the “Weekly Ten” with the Top Ten reasons I wish Sarah Palin was my Mommy. Apologies to my own mommy, the cougar version of Barack Girl. Still love you, mom!

10. Never ending shades of lipstick to borrow!
Warning: even with perfect application, these cosmetics may still make you a pig.

9. MILF!
And GILF! Maybe she can give pointers on how to age gracefully. Provided you don’t care about anything other than looking fly in glasses and a red skirt suit.

8. Exotic digs.
I mean, this is just a gimme: she can see Russia from her house.

7. Homegirl can bust a rhyme
Oh wait, that’s Amy Poehler. Another point for cool SNL moms.

6. Never ending supply of skirt suits!
Also a bonus if you want to be a flight attendant. Notice how I didn’t say slutty. Take note, David. Read More »