Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that it answered proper!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend wants to have sex all the time. At first I was OK with it but now I just want to hang out sometimes. We still go on dates but its like he needs to have sex every single day. I’m stressed out! This is a busy semester for me – sometimes I just don’t feel like it! How can I tell him without hurting his feelings?

Thanks Tuffy!

Tired

Dear Tired,

Repeat after me: Get your goddamn hands off of me.

Okay, sorry kids. Aunt Tuffy is having a busy couple of weeks herself so the idea of some dude forcing his overactive weewee on someone who is too tired to do it right now, goddammit–well, it makes Aunt Tuffy a little tired herself.

But, back to you.

In any case, Tired, I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose. The fact that he still wants to go on dates and everything is reassuring. If, like, he just wanted to have sex and DIDN’T want to do the whole dating this anymore, well, then I’d say the guy is cheating or just biding his time. But that doesn’t sound like the case here.

Okay, so, seriously, just say no. I know that sounds overplayed, but it really works. Tell him firmly, “baby, I’m tired, but I think you’re really hot and I can’t wait to do it tomorrow” (or whenever). The next day, when he isn’t so worked up, sit him down and explain that you’re really stressed out and you need some cuddle time (non-sex time) too.

Look, sex is a production. Whether we like it or not, it takes a lot of energy. He’s gotta understand that you’re not always in the mood just because he is.

But, to be fair, he has needs too. So if you refuse sex, make sure you give him something back: a massage or perhaps some smaller, less exhausting sexual favor.

And remember, kids, always use condoms. Or else Aunt Tuffy will eat your face.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

This guy has been collecting penii for 24 years. It started out as a casual hobby–you know, like stamp collecting–and at some point he got the idea to share his love with the world via a weirdass museum in an Icelandic fishing village.

FACT: When the dude began his penis collection, he was working as a school administrator.

FACT: That fact makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Anyway, so far he only has animal weewees (largest: sperm whale [how apropos], smallest: hamster [you need a microscope to see it; sounds like my exboyfriend]). However, four human men have now offered to hand in theirs when they retire to the big penis museum in the sky. Naturally, one of these men is an American, and, naturally, he’s nicknamed his man hooha “Elmo,” which is just so charming.

So when you go to Iceland to check out this museum (which you are likely to do: apparently 60% of the visitors are women), you don’t have to worry because it’s really easy to find. According to the article, the “entrance marked by a tall brown phallus near the door and a penis-shaped sign over the front porch.” Classy.

I can’t wait to go.

Before I leave you to mull all of this over (and frankly, I think this needs a lot of mulling…and a lot of xanax), allow me to give you one final image: some of the penii are “dried and mounted on the wall.”

Lesson learned: don’t have sex with a hamster. At least not knowingly.

Okay, maybe not you, but these guys are being told by their company to pee in bags! Why? So the company saves time on bathroom breaks.

I can’t believe they’re seriously asking them to do this. Cutting back on cigarette breaks, I could see. But being asked to urinate in public in a bag given to you by your company? Totally humiliating.

On a slightly related note:

True story: I was once standing in a mall waiting for a friend. I was in a high-traffic area of said mall, with lots of people everywhere.

I notice this kid nearby tugging on his mom’s arm. She holds out a plastic bag…

…and he whips out his little kid weewee and pees in the bag.

I kid you not.

And THEN the mother took the bag and tied it up and just stood there, holding the kid’s urine.

I don’t know. Peeing in bags is nast.

But maybe it’s becoming mainstream (haha) and I’m just behind the trend.