CollegeCandy » weird

The Library: An Entertaining and Disturbing Place

Meregan - Brown University — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:39:07 +0000

This semester, I am one of those suckers whose last final falls on the very last day of exam period. Adding to the pain is the fact that it is an exam in statistics, a subject I both loathe and am terrible at. On the midterm I got every answer wrong, but my compassionate TA gave me points for trying.

The fear of my impending final failure sent me scurrying to the library for some quality study time and I have yet to leave (I’m considering having my mail addressed here). Sixteen hours straight in the library and you’re bound to start feeling loopy. In the search for something to concentrate on other than the chi-squared test, you also might start noticing some weird things going on…

Because people are so consumed with work and are therefore also residing in the library, they’ve moved their entire lives into their tiny study space: private phone calls, private conversations, eating habits that should be private (anchovies on top of pizza—blech). I’ve witnessed relationship mini-dramas in the stacks, stumbled across a couple taking a creative study break, and some surreptitious flask sippage. Alchol and sleep deprivation combined with a certain amount of desperation will lead to some interesting things, such as the three recent events that I consider evidence of what too much studying does to the college student’s brain.

1. The Naked Donut Run

This is a tradition at my school that was started a few years back by some very enterprising students. Also very brave ones. Every semester we have a reading week in which to prepare for the upcoming hell of finals. Every semester we have a group of students buy several dozen treats from the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts and hand them out to us poor harried creatures that once resembled students in the libraries. The twist? They do it in the nude. And considering most people are sitting at desks while studying, that puts you at a very interesting eye level.

2. The Absolute Quiet Riot

The Absolute Quiet Riot, a beloved tradition of three years, is the best study break I can imagine. It takes place in our Absolute Quiet Room, a completely silent space I’m sure everyone has at their school. At a prearranged time, a significant number (oh no, I’m thinking in stats terms!) of the students working in that room get up from their books and climb on to the tables and boogie. I’ve seen the swim, the lawnmower, and a variety of moves that should not be done without adult supervision, all in complete silence. It is the Absolute Quiet Room, after all.

3. The Band Playing Christmas Carols

I’m sure many people enjoy listening to music while working. I myself am a fan of having a TV show such as Sex and the City on in the background. This is somewhat detrimental to the work itself, but it does give me useful ideas on what shoes I will treat myself to when (if) I survive finals. However, I feel that noise of that calibre should be enjoyed through headphones. Last week I discovered that the Brown Band does not feel the same way. They marched on down to the basement of our Sciences Library and proceeded to play a rousing rendition of Jingle Bells, which was then followed by other carols. My ears are still ringing and I can’t use my calculator without thinking of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

These are some of the strangest things I have ever seen in a library, aside from our challenge (drink a shot on each of the 14 floors), but I’m sure you all might have seen something even weirder than naked people proffering sweets.

So, let’s hear it! What’s the weirdest thing you’ve witnessed during a late night at the library?

[photo source: http://agitprop.typepad.com/]

New Diet Fad To Hate: Ear Stapling

CC Staff — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:00:29 +0000

You know how you can rub a lamp and a genie will come out and grant you three awesome wishes (I mean, in theory)? Well, according to some people, if you rub a staple shoved into the “upper cartilage of [your] left pinna” — the visible part of the ear — three times a day, you won’t want candy and you’ll lose weight.

I’m serious.

Acupuncture has been around for a while, but this type of acupuncture has recently become more popular with lazy people who would rather get foreign objects stapled into their body then move around and eat more vegetables. Ear Stapling is connected to the idea that piercing the upper ear cartilage, “provides constant stimulation for the vagus or pneumogastric nerve, a very lengthy (the word vagus means wandering) nerve that supplies motor and sensory information from the mouth and larynx down to the large intestine and colon“.

Even though some people swear it works, one can really prove anything scientific when it comes to the practice of Ear Stapling. Maybe it’s real. Maybe it’s the Dumbo’s Feather affect. Whatever the case, if you’re asking someone to shove a staple through your ear to lose weight…you’ve got more to worry about than a propensity for donuts.

I mean…leave your ears alone, lift some weights, and cook more stir-frys. Honestly, friends…it’s not that hard.

I Think I Know…

CC Staff — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:00:50 +0000

I told my Ex we broke up because he was short.

Really, we broke up because he was short and kind of looked like a giant mole that stood upright

Amy Winemouse and Pete Dirty Sincerely Disturb Me

Jess - NYU — Fri, 16 May 2008 20:00:39 +0000

So, when you’ve got tons of money, a serious addiction to drugs, a husband who’s in jail, a closet full of jean shorts from the Limited Too, and a friend named Pete “incredibly dirty” Doherty, what do you spend your afternoon doing?

…playing with day old baby mice and recording it on YouTube.

(All the while high as a f*cking high ass kite)

I’m sorry if this video disturbs anyone. It kinda disturbs me. Mostly because baby mice are freaky looking and I’m afraid that Winehouse and Doherty and gonna pull a Lenny (a la Of Mice and Men) and somehow pet those poor things to death.

See if you can keep yourself from saying No, No, No and stomach the whole video.



Craigslist is Full of F&%cking Weird People: The Old Spanker
Sara - NYU — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:30:04 +0000
During the first couple of blogs in this series, some people were a bit miffed at our “judgemental” and “harsh” treatment of the creator of a certain Missed Connection.  Here at CC, we thought he exhibited Type A Stalker Behavior.  Other people thought he was just a misunderstood guy who wasn’t quite up to date on how to use an exclamation point.
All differences aside (aren’t they what makes the world go around, anyway?  Of course!), I believe those Nice Guy Vigilantes will have a hard time saying stuff about this recent CL Posting.
This post comes from a 63 year old M4W in Long Island.  It’s titled “Little One“.
Are you creeped out yet?  You should be.
“I am still disappointed that we couldn’t get it together last Fall.”
Really?  Still disappointed?  It’s Spring, dude.  You’ve been feeling disappointed for 7 months about a liaison that happened last Fall?  Let me flip through my Weird Stalker Dictionary and see if this…ah, yes!  Right here. It says you should MOVE ON.
“Your behind could have been hot and red all this time.”
I’m assuming he means ass, but decided to go with behind because it sounds just that extra bit CREEPIER.  I’m assuming he’s trying to sound like an old guy reprimanding a little girl.  I’m assuming he’s totally into spanking.  I’m assuming the sudden slight nauseous feeling in my stomach is directly related to reading this…
“Since everything seemed ok, how could we have made it work?” 
Well, I’m no sex therapist, but did you ever think of calling her, instead of posting a random 3 sentence message on CL?!  Things may have worked out better then. Also, props on getting all concerned and gentle after talking about wanting to spank her ass.
Look.  Going all Old Man / Young Thang in your bedroom [as long as it's legal and not anything morally wrong] is essentially completely fine, but fretting over why the object of your butt obsession hasn’t contacted you since last fall on Missed Connections…well, that’s just plain STRANGE.

         


Daily Dose Of Weird: Woman Sits On Toilet For Two Years
Sara - NYU — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:30:37 +0000

 So…this morning on my way to school, I was reading this girl’s newspaper over her shoulder on the train (I know this is annoying. Sue me.) and I saw a very unusual headline.
I thought it was a hoax or something, but when I got to school, I looked it up, and sure enough it’s real.
Um…a woman sat on a toilet for two years and her skin grew around the toilet seat.
I am not happy about this. It’s weird enough that she grew into the toilet seat, but what I want to know (and what none of the articles I’ve read bothers to explain) is why her boyfriend waited two years to do anything.
Look, if I’m stuck to a toilet seat, my boyfriend better tell someone asap or else it’s over.
You hear me, bitch? OVER.

         


Jonathan Rhys Meyers Freaks Me Out
Jess - NYU — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:32:57 +0000
 A few years ago, Match Point was on HBO.  Having nothing better to do, I began watching it, and noticed a pretty hot guy I’d never seen before.
That hot guy turned out to be Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and although I ended up falling asleep before the movie ended (something about self-absorbed people and Woody Allen dialogue works better than Lunesta for me), I couldn’t forget that Irish accent and those awesome lips.
Flash forward to one odd magazine cover and a few movies later, and you’ve got someone who’s not only no longer attracted to JRM, but has developed a strange fear of seeing his face anywhere.
I don’t know what happened.  I’m not sure if he lost weight, got plastic surgery, or if my taste in men has just changed drastically, but seeing the recent pictures of JRM makes me want to stay away from his new movie August Rush (even though the adorable Keri Rusell co-stars) purely because his face makes me so damn uncomfortable.
Does he stand in front of the mirror and practice that pout?  Did someone mention that looking like a possessed vampire who just got the lights turned on them was sexy?  Is walking the line between sounding pretentious and insecure a publicity ploy?  I don’t know the answer to any of these questions.  I just know that not since Carrot Top  have I been so nervous to look into the face of a celebrity.
What do you think?  Am I just not seeing the attractiveness under the freaky stare?  Does something about JRM scare you too?  I mean, what’s this guy’s deal?

         


Girly Guns: A Kinder, Prettier Machine Gun???
Jess - NYU — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 20:15:45 +0000

Say you wanted an assault rifle, but being a woman, didn’t want to settle for some boring old black AK-47.  Say you wanted to kick some ass in style.  What would you do?You log onto glamgums.com and buy yourself a Hello Kitty death machine.
The “Glambo Signature Series “Hello Kitty” HK-AK-47” is a shiny purple limited edition weapon that’s “perfect…for the lady of the house”.  For only $1072.95, a girl can keep her feminine streak in tact while still toting a gun that’s guaranteed to do some severe damage.
I’d probably be seriously freaked out by all of this—if I didn’t know the site was a complete joke.
Developed by “A US Army Veteran known only as Glambo” Glamguns is all about mocking “stereotypes of women and girls and what they really like”.  In her attempt to have fun with femininity, “Glambo” has decided that women might enjoy Hello Kitty assault rifles, handguns with Princess Di emblems, a Mother Teresa rocket launcher, and a care bear bulletproof vest.
So, okay.  It’s sorta funny.
But not really.  I mean, Princess Diana and Mother Teresa?  A first aid kit with bullet-wound care bear?  I’m all for bashing stereotypes, but what exactly are we saying here?  Girls like violence?  Girls have weird taste?  Mother Teresa makes a perfect icon for a rocket launcher?
Whether one can actually buy the fake weapons isn’t clear, but you gotta hope the designs are purely on paper.  Nothing good can come out of fake guns that look real.  Even if there is a Hello Kitty attached to it.

         


Wesleyan Creates Best Class (about nothing) EVER
Jess - NYU — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:35:59 +0000
 Every college has it.  The weird course.  The bizarre experiment class that must have gotten okayed after the faculty meeting wine (and possibly weed) came out.  The course everyone wants to take because it can’t possibly be studied for.
Liberal Arts schools are famous for these types of classes.  Being a graduate of a Liberal A. myself, I made sure to take every weird course I could find.  Every class with a half-written syllabus, opened ended final, or that was team-taught—I took.  And let me tell you, those were some of the best wasted hours of my college career.
Wesleyan, one of the “Most Annoying Liberal Arts Schools” out there, currently has one of the best examples of a weird course I’ve heard in a long time.  The reason this example is so good?  It’s explanation is as pretentious as it’s description is redonkulous.
Course Name:  Feet to the Fire: the Art and Science of Climate Change
Category: Biology
Cross Listed With: Dance
Description: As quoted by Gawker, the first lines of the course description are as follows: “Feet to the Fire is an intensive, interdisciplinary course that melds scientific and choreographic inquiry in pursuit of one of the most important topics facing society: climate change due to global warming”
Class Layout: “Classroom and laboratory sessions”, with a neighboring landfill acting as said laboratory.
What Exactly is Going to Happen (in a really wordy way): “With an emphasis on the body and its relationship with its environment, participants will have an opportunity to consider the multiple layers of histories, time and memory layered within the landfill and the continuing impact of this changing environment on the body. Students will learn modern scientific and kinesthetic tools for assessing environmental conditions, ecological responses changing in time and space. The methods of scientific deduction and choreographic composition will be applied to metaphor and meaning of climate change.”

In Layman’s Terms: This class will focus on creating an interpretive dance that describes what it’s like to be a landfill and why global warming sucks.
…I mean, if this isn’t the best class ever, I don’t know what is.

         


Daily Dose of Weird: Hat-Monkey Breaches Security
Jess - NYU — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:00:25 +0000
 If only there was a way to interview the monkey!
Last Tuesday, passengers aboard a Spirit Airlines jet flying from New York to Florida had a bit more to deal with than those impossible-to-open peanut bags.
Seems one of their fellow travelers had decided it was totally okay for him to shove a monkey into his hat and bring it aboard.
The strange, strange man, who had originally departed from Lima, Peru, somehow managed to hide the tiny creature “inside his ponytail” and underneath his cap while he boarded the plane, his cover blown only after the animal climbed out of it’s hiding place halfway through the trip.
This story obviously begs a few questions:
First, just how big was the man’s ponytail, and why did no one notice there was a monkey in it?
Second, how come I’m  forced to practically strip before I board a plane, but this dude  managed to smuggle a living creature onboard underneath a hat?
Thirdly, what kind of monkey is small enough to stow away inside human hair?
Sadly, there are no answers, just a nagging desire to see this hat-monkey, and the unavoidable cuteness it most likely possesses.