Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv. tuffyluvcc [at] gmail [dot] com

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I hate my boyfriend’s best friend / roommate. I think he’s really weird. He seems like he’s always trying to steal my boyfriend’s attention. I don’t get it. I’m not saying he’s in love with him, but I think he’s in like with him if you know what I mean. They’ve been best friends since high school, so I don’t want to come between them, but it’s getting really annoying. Sometimes I want to hang out with my boyfriend one on one, and his best friend tags along, and my boyfriend is too nice to say anything. Weird. What do I do?

Can’t Stand Him

Dear Can’t Stand Him,

Yeah, like, you don’t want to be a third wheel on your own date. I do think it’s totally sweet that your boyfriend is trying to include his friend, but I hate to see you end up in some creepy threesome you don’t want to be a part of. Here’s my advice: Tell your boyfriend.

I know. You’re totally scared to do it. And Aunt Tuffy would be, too. But there are ways of saying it nicely, yes? For instance, instead of saying: “Floop your flooping friend and his weirdash shoop,” you could try, “Baby, I want to make time for your friend, but we need some time for just the two of us too.” And then make sure you include Annoying Dude into some of your non-date activities together.

Not making out, for instance. But mayyyyyyyybe lunch once in a while. Or invite him to a party you’re going together. See? Times you won’t care too much if he’s there. Then everybody wins! You get points for being supportive, your boyfriend gets to feel good about inviting his friend, and the friend doesn’t have to be a lonelyhead.

And maybe the guy will get a significant other that you’ll like, and you can double date for much less painful interactions. Or, like, he’ll get a significant other and leave you the floop alone. Either way.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

No, there is not actually a video of skeletons having sex on a tin roof. That’s not even possible. Get your minds out of the gutter! But now, thanks to this song, you can find out what it would sound like. And thanks to the music video, you can find out what it would be like to drop acid.

I’m really not sure what exactly is going on in this video. But I know that it’s awesome. We first discovered it here, where it’s called a “Latvian Dating Video.” Naturally, I just had to find out more about this. So clicked the link to view the video on YouTube (really advanced research), and discovered that it’s actually a music video. The band is called Orphic Oxtra, and they’re from Iceland! Apparently they like leotards, hair flips, soccer ball boots, bright colors, and miniature ponies. Watch their video below, and check them out on Facebook.

Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.

The fear of my impending final failure sent me scurrying to the library for some quality study time and I have yet to leave (I’m considering having my mail addressed here). Sixteen hours straight in the library and you’re bound to start feeling loopy. In the search for something to concentrate on other than the chi-squared test, you also might start noticing some weird things going on…

Because people are so consumed with work and are therefore also residing in the library, they’ve moved their entire lives into their tiny study space: private phone calls, private conversations, eating habits that should be private (anchovies on top of pizza—blech). I’ve witnessed relationship mini-dramas in the stacks, stumbled across a couple taking a creative study break, and some surreptitious flask sippage. Alchol and sleep deprivation combined with a certain amount of desperation will lead to some interesting things, such as the three recent events that I consider evidence of what too much studying does to the college student’s brain.

1. The Naked Donut Run

This is a tradition at my school that was started a few years back by some very enterprising students. Also very brave ones. Every semester we have a reading week in which to prepare for the upcoming hell of finals. Every semester we have a group of students buy several dozen treats from the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts and hand them out to us poor harried creatures that once resembled students in the libraries. The twist? They do it in the nude. And considering most people are sitting at desks while studying, that puts you at a very interesting eye level.

2. The Absolute Quiet Riot

The Absolute Quiet Riot, a beloved tradition of three years, is the best study break I can imagine. It takes place in our Absolute Quiet Room, a completely silent space I’m sure everyone has at their school. At a prearranged time, a significant number (oh no, I’m thinking in stats terms!) of the students working in that room get up from their books and climb on to the tables and boogie. I’ve seen the swim, the lawnmower, and a variety of moves that should not be done without adult supervision, all in complete silence. It is the Absolute Quiet Room, after all.

3. The Band Playing Christmas Carols

I’m sure many people enjoy listening to music while working. I myself am a fan of having a TV show such as Sex and the City on in the background. This is somewhat detrimental to the work itself, but it does give me useful ideas on what shoes I will treat myself to when (if) I survive finals. However, I feel that noise of that calibre should be enjoyed through headphones. Last week I discovered that the Brown Band does not feel the same way. They marched on down to the basement of our Sciences Library and proceeded to play a rousing rendition of Jingle Bells, which was then followed by other carols. My ears are still ringing and I can’t use my calculator without thinking of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

These are some of the strangest things I have ever seen in a library, aside from our challenge (drink a shot on each of the 14 floors), but I’m sure you all might have seen something even weirder than naked people proffering sweets.

So, let’s hear it! What’s the weirdest thing you’ve witnessed during a late night at the library?

[photo source: http://agitprop.typepad.com/]

I’m serious.

Acupuncture has been around for a while, but this type of acupuncture has recently become more popular with lazy people who would rather get foreign objects stapled into their body then move around and eat more vegetables. Ear Stapling is connected to the idea that piercing the upper ear cartilage, “provides constant stimulation for the vagus or pneumogastric nerve, a very lengthy (the word vagus means wandering) nerve that supplies motor and sensory information from the mouth and larynx down to the large intestine and colon“.

Even though some people swear it works, one can really prove anything scientific when it comes to the practice of Ear Stapling. Maybe it’s real. Maybe it’s the Dumbo’s Feather affect. Whatever the case, if you’re asking someone to shove a staple through your ear to lose weight…you’ve got more to worry about than a propensity for donuts.

I mean…leave your ears alone, lift some weights, and cook more stir-frys. Honestly, friends…it’s not that hard.

I told my Ex we broke up because he was short.

Really, we broke up because he was short and kind of looked like a giant mole that stood upright

…playing with day old baby mice and recording it on YouTube.

(All the while high as a f*cking high ass kite)

I’m sorry if this video disturbs anyone. It kinda disturbs me. Mostly because baby mice are freaky looking and I’m afraid that Winehouse and Doherty and gonna pull a Lenny (a la Of Mice and Men) and somehow pet those poor things to death.

See if you can keep yourself from saying No, No, No and stomach the whole video.

]]>