I used to think there was nothing worse than going downtown on a drunk guy. He thinks he’s being all sexy and just shoves your head south (which, we all know, is the opposite of sexy), and then your feet fall asleep as you crouch down there trying to get something to happen. Which doesn’t. Because homeboy thought it would be fun to chug whiskey out of the bottle.

But I was wrong. There is something worse. Way worse. And his name is Masanobu Sato.

Not familiar with Mr. Sato? Well, you should be. This guy just won the 9th annual Masturbate-A-Thon. Yes, that really exists. And yes, Masanobu lasted a full 9 hours and 58 minutes.

Nine hours and fifty eight minutes! Of masturbating. Sato set the world record last year -a paltry 9 hours and 33 minutes- but beat it (pun intended) this year with a little extra training. For real. Apparently he worked long and hard (tee hee) to build up his endurance. Whoever said “no pain, no gain” was obviously not training for this sort of event.

But with all that glory comes a price. That poor guy is never gonna get laid – just imagine what your neck would feel like after a night (and day) in bed with him. I’ll stick to my drunk guys, thankyouverymuch.

From all of us at CollegeCandy, have a lovely/rockin’ St. Patty’s Day! Just don’t forget the rules.

New Year’s is long gone.  The singles just finished drowning their emotions in V-day bar specials.  What do we celebrate next? Ahh… St. Patrick’s Day.  The most nationalistic holiday that still manages to include people of every gender, race, culture, and alcohol tolerance.

St. Pat’s is the holiday that has never been sugar-coated with false meaning or wholly commercialized by Hallmark (sure greeting cards exist, but who really gives them?).  So make sure you embrace your inner Irish and do it up right on March 17.

1.  The Booze.

To throw a full-on Irish bash, you have to have an appropriate alcohol selection.  Well, what do you know? GoIreland.com happens to have a handy list of the most popular libations of the Emerald Isle, in case you’ve never heard of Jameson or Guinness.

Make sure you bar is stocked with whiskey, irish cream, and the beer they call “a meal in a can,” but don’t neglect some other favorites.  Other popular beers include Murphy’s Stout, Kilkenny, and Smithwick’s.  Cider is also a favorite.  If you’re a perfectionist, you might try to get your hands on some Meade or Poitín.

But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.  We are college students after all – mix up some Green Appletinis and make a few trays of lime Jell-O shots, and you won’t hear any complaints.  Really want some green magic to happen? Try to get your hands on the ultimate green liquor, absinthe, and let the green fairy fly. Read More »

According to a recent study of 1,580 Australian men (ugh, the best kind), drinking alcohol might actually help a guy out in the sack.

I know! I’m shocked too.

I don’t know about you ladies, but from my experience, getting it on with a drunk guy has always been devoid of satisfaction. Either the  guy is done and snoring after 3.5 seconds, or he’s still going (and going and going) without much success long after I’ve lost interest. And then there was that time he puked…

But science is science and this study shows that 30% of men who drank had fewer problems during sex. Even those obnoxious belligerent drunks had less problems with E.D.

Have I been hooking up with the wrong guys, or what!?

I guess it all makes sense, though; I know alcohol always makes me feel a little more adventurous in bed. God knows I wouldn’t end up in a handstand during sex if I were sober. Hell, I wouldn’t even have sex with the lights on if alcohol weren’t involved.

I guess offering guys just one more beer before heading home for a romp session is the best way to guarantee some pleasure. In fact, maybe I should keep a little beer stocked in the mini fridge next to my bed. You can never be too prepared.

I am a Cosmo devotee. Have been since I started stealing my mom’s when I was twelve. I am amazed monthly by the hair, the witty captions, and their never ending innovation of synonyms for the word penis. Many of my friends, acquaintances, relatives and sisters swear by Cosmo as their Bible (and for the most part I do too). But there are some times (well…many times) when Cosmo’s take on real world situations is – in a word – whack.

I will still accept their declarations of lip gloss superiority like they were handed down from the divine, but when it comes to their interpretation of all things men (or at least all things greatly generalized and stereotyped), I think I’ll be reading with a grain of salt handy.

And I’ll pass that grain onto you. With every passing month and, in turn, every new “Secret Sex Fantasy Guys Won’t Tell You!” revealed, I will be here to break it all down for you. I will find the truth buried deep between the unsafe sex positions and “things he secretly loves you for,” so you don’t end up with a stiff neck, an angry boyfriend or some seriously embarrassing sexcapades.]

This month, Cosmo did a damn good job at publishing articles that were, for the most part, interesting, non-redundant, and (my fave) THEMED! I mean, yeah it’s expected, but Feb’s issue had more V-day tips, lingerie ideas and suggestions than you could shake a stick at…and I still logged onto their website to check out all the extra stuff they promised. I couldn’t have asked for anything more (except for a coupon for 1 free Victoria’s Secret ensemble for the 14^th). Read More »

Bring the spa to you… who wouldn’t love spa treatments in your own home?!

Embracing your sexuality is…well, sexy!

World’s most AMAZING balm…just look.

Our next First Lady on the cover of Vogue…wow!

A BritneyJustinMadonna threesome?! It’s not what you think

Dave Chapelle sitings! Is he making a come back?!

Don’t like the outcome for Prop 8? Don’t pay taxes, like Melissa Ethridge.

I’m not big on whiskey…but if you are, here you go.

We’ve all been there…here’s how to avoid that horrible food coma.

Music heals all…here’s a list to get you through this financial EFF UP we are going throuh.

That guy you brought home last night? Let’s just say he wasn’t lookin’ so good this morning. Not only do you not want to have to experience that face again, but the thought of marching this turd past your roommates is making your stomach churn (or is that the whiskey?).

Well, you don’t have to. Not with The Ugly Bag. Just throw that sh*t over his head and you are home free. And at a measly $1.85 you are gonna wanna stock up. You know… Welcome Week is coming.

Mmmm shots. I love em. I love SoCo and Lime. I love Lemon Drops. I love whiskey. I even, sometimes, love Tequila. They burn when they go down, but they feel oh-so-good for the rest of the night. Not to mention the fact that they make me feel sexier, totally improve my dance moves (right?) and are just a fabulous way to bond with rando’s at the bar.

And then…the morning sets in.

Hellooooo hangover.

What the hell? Why create something so great that turns into something so…painful? If only there were shots out there that would be totally delicious and wonderful but not cause my room to spin/head to pound/body to crave bacon the next morning.

Good news!

I know you won’t believe me when I tell you this, but there are! Just read on, little ladies. Read More »

Nothing is better than summertime. The beach, sundresses, flip-flops, parties on the patio…While all enjoyable in their own right, they become even more serendipitous when accompanied by a fabulously frozen/sweet/refreshing summer treat.

Sure if you’re Kid Rock, drinking Whiskey by the bottle (And of course, singing Sweet Home Alabama…All. Summer. Long.) would be your summer standard. But for those of us who don’t get into fist fights at The Waffle House, treats can bring us back to the sweet nostalgia of chasing the ice-cream truck (Mickey-Mouse on a Popsicle stick anyone?). Nothing is better than that!

From trendy to old school, we here at College Candy put together our list of favorite summer treats. So grab a chaise lounge, some sunscreen, relax and dig in!

Slurpees from 7-11. While Slurpee’s will always remind me of high school (I grew up in Suburbia and we spent many-a-Saturday driving between 7-11’s… Clearly, I was no Kelly Kapowski), there is just something so yummy and refreshing about sipping on a slurpee. (Note: Best enjoyed in the parking lot watching the regular creepy guys going in to buy porn)

The Freezer Pop. Long before we had our licenses, we would make our own freezer pops (before running in the sprinklers or getting muddy on the Slip’N’Slide)

How To: Take an ice cube tray (or this fancy schmancy “freezer pop maker”) and fill it with a beverage of your choice- (Lemonade, OJ, Coke) cut popsicle sticks in half and insert them in the liquid. Stick them in the freezer and enjoy! (Don’t forget your Flintstones vitamin!) Read More »

Skies are blue, trees are blooming, and temperatures are rising, which can only mean one thing – it’s time to take your godd*mn pants off.

My roommate and I have been experimenting with the pants-free lifestyle for many months now. It began in January when one early Friday evening we were sitting on the couch watching Scrubs reruns, harnessing our chi for a night out on the town.

Me: I don’t wanna wear pants tonight, dude.

My roommate: Yeah man, f*ck pants.

Half an hour later, we emerged from our respective bedrooms, me in a tank top and some sort of shorts/panties half-breed, her in what can best be described as beach loungewear. We threw on our jackets and headed out to the club, where we proceeded to drink whiskey and diets and shake what our mammas gave us until we were so pleasantly exhausted and sweaty we could barely stand any longer and had to call it a night.

The point of this little anecdote? By choosing to forego pants, my roommate and I ensured that we would have a fun evneing. If we had been so foolish as to wear, say, skinny jeans or perhaps high-waisted wide-leg trousers or some other wintry-style clothing garment out that evening, there’s no way we could have enjoyed ourselves to the degree we did. We would have felt restricted and gotten sweaty and would have never stayed until the late-night DJ came on and started busting out old-school James Brown jams. Instead of having a glorious evening, we would have had a low-key, mediocre evening, because pants ruin fun. Period. Read More »