Last time: we found out that Daisy is a stripper and Jessica went home.

Morning: everyone is back at the house quietly eating breakfast. Destiney isn’t wearing make up and she looks fantastic without it. Big John comes in with three buckets for them to clean the house because someone they know is coming. Daisy is cleaning in a half shirt. Of course she is.

Doorbell rings and it’s parent time. Ambre’s dad is the first to arrive and they hug like she’s coming home from war. Bret got his hair blown out and flat ironed and he desperately needs a bandana. At least a real parent showed up for her this time.

Destiney’s parents come. She’s wearing a pink hat but no make up so I’ll forgive the stupid hat.

Daisy’s been on her own since she was 15 so instead of parents, Stephanie, Daisy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister, shows up for her. Are you kidding? Bret is clearly not thrilled. Read More »

This playlist could be appropriately titled any of the following. Please choose according to your “situation”:

“I’m About to Regret This, Aren’t I?”

OR

“No. I Don’t Want Breakfast, I Just Want Sex.”

1. Stronger Than Me — Amy Winehouse

2. In Tha Mood – Esthero

3. Come Here Boy — Imogen Heap

4. Like A Boy – Ciara

5. Talk Show Host – Radiohead

6. Back it up, boys – Peaches (yes, it’s true, Peaches could have her own sex playlist)

7. Brown Skin – India Arie

8. Put The Needle On It – Danni Minogue (the HOTTER Minogue sister.)

9. Maybe — Toni Braxton

10. Freak Like Me – Adina Howard (yes it’s old school and still. so. great)

11. My Place – Tweet

12. There’s A Place In The Whiskey — Gretchen Wilson

13. Erotica – Madonna. (I mean, Obviously)

[Any songs you would add to this list?? Let us know! We're always dying for a bad decision making soundtrack...]

I do not think I’m an alcoholic. I do, however, feel like I’ve racked myself up some pretty reliable points for drinking frequently, and usually for free, in New York City.

I’m in a band. And all of my friends are in bands. You know what that means? It means shows…which means drinks. And my friends who aren‘t musicians, who work in offices, tend to like to buy me rounds at Happy Hour time–which usually precedes one of those aforementioned shows.

These factors combined with my sometimes modeling and myopenbar.com lead to a steady intake of alcohol on my part. And REALLY, I am okay with this.

However, I woke up today feeling especially hung over. My stomach felt like I imagine it would if it were working diligently to digest batteries. My makeup was caked across my pillowcase and the volume of god knows what kind of dirt under my nails made me afraid to look in the mirror. It was just another, typical night out on the town for me last night. Wine and beer and whiskey and martinis. Lost cash. Expensive cab rides. Shameful drunk snacking back at my apartment and finally the relief of passing out, but ONLY after an embarrassing drunk dial and even more embarrassing emotional drunk IM.

I woke up this morning and I challenged myself out loud to my roommate.

“You know what, dude? I’m gonna take the next week off from drinking.”

She laughed. Read More »

VH1 was smart – rather than being trounced by the Super Bowl in the ratings (because I would have been the only one watching Rock Of Love), they made me wait a week so that I could properly heal from the blow of losing Trantastique.

…And to learn the surprising news that Daisy has probably slept with Bret. And by surprising I mean like the total opposite of surprising.

I can’t believe that she waited a whole three days.

Anyway, the house rumor that starts Episode Four is that Daisy and Bret did IT. I don’t see why everyone’s making such a big deal about it since she’s probably not going to be the only one who sleeps with Bret before this mess is all over. I laugh at my Ice Princess Kristy Joe’s camera-emphatic “Skank!” and applaud Aubry’s stretch Escalade confrontation.

This week’s challenge: the girls will be split into two teams to build a motorcycle. The lead mechanic wins a solo date, the other team members get a group date and the losing team’s head mechanic has to clean Bret’s bike with a toothbrush. Whiskey voiced Peyton is excited. Yawn. I’m not. Seriously, I’m so close to done with these annoying chicks, except for Inna, because I want to get drunk with her, and Kristy Joe, because I just like her for no good reason. Read More »

• What are the top 10 foods to top with bacon when bacon goes with everything?

• Looking to waste time on the internet? Is that question as stupid as the bacon one? Eh, just waste your time here!

• Coca Cola is evil. But only in Russia.

• The eternal war wages on! Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

• This guy’s even better than the real Santa.

• So now when your little brother won’t stop making you play Rock, Paper, Scissors you’ll know how to shut him up.

• Note: Using a traffic cone as a wizard hat isn’t cute…even when you’re 3. (Daily Mail)

• The average person in the UK drinks 189 bottles of wine, 37 bottles of whiskey or 1,137 pints of beer per year…which is roughly half of what the average American going to a state school consumes. (Daily Mail)

• Top Story! Theives steal potatoes!! In the UK (of course). (thisislincolnshire.co.uk)

• Hey guys, smoking is bad for you! Now you know. Oh! And it doesn’t help you lose weight either, so just quit already! (news.com.au)

• Barack vs Hilary vs Colbert? You decide…on Facebook! (COED Magazine)

This morning while slightly (and by slightly I mean, shoot-me-in-the-face) bored at work, I illegally signed into my AIM.

(Tip to all you working ladies out there: www.meebo.com is a wonderful site where you can log onto AIM and your bosses will never know. Mwahahaha)

Anyhoo, an equally sly and bored friend of mine was clearly also looking for some entertainment so we started chatting.

And at 10:14 AM on October 17, 2007 I had my first New Year’s 2008 query.

Yes, I think this is my new record. Usually New Year’s discussions don’t start until at least after Halloween, but post-college/big city life calls for a whole new set of rules. Read More »