Upon meeting Heidi’s dad on last night’s episode of The Hills, I expected a little more from MTV. For instance, I expected a scene out of some sort of Western movie where Mr. Montag walks through swinging saloon doors, gives Spencer a look and then does some fancy moves with the gun in his holster as a tumbleweed blows by.

Instead I got some BS brunch at a Hollywood eatery where Spencer tripped over his words as he attempted to impress the Cowboy. Words that Heidi’s dad most definitely did not understand. So, Cowboy Montag, if you are reading this right now, I’d like to take this opportunity to translate that mumbo jumbo that came out of Pretty Boy Pratt’s mouth so maybe you can stop this wedding before it happens. Oh wait…. Well, at least you’ll know what he was talking about. Read More »

Tonight’s episode of The Hills was similar to one they have at least once a season. You know – nothing happens, but the episode is still necessary to begin building up the drama that will come next week. It’s OK, though; the episode wasn’t a total loss:

Heidi finally admitted to spreading the sex tape rumor!

“I said things out of anger that I didn’t mean.”

We got you, Montag. I knew it was you all along. Obviously, I know that evil Spencer coerced you into doing it, but I could always tell you were lying about having no part in it (which was difficult considering the fact that your face doesn’t move anymore, and, therefore, your “expressions” are hard to read). Read More »