I’ll find solace in knowing I’m not the only one asking away.

Here are some of the other questions we have all toyed with over the course of this week:

-Can we find the courage to make the first move?

-Will my dad notice of I charge one Glitter Pocket Cardigan on his credit card?

-Can we summon the motivation to organize my closet?

-Should we really keep our mouth shut about our bff’s douche bag boyfriend?

-Is one more celeb going to come out with their own alcohol?

-Does that guy seriously not realize he has moose-knuckle?

-Is it crazy that setting up a bowling alley in the dorm hallway sounds freakin’ awesome?

-Where is this party at? And can I go?

-Why isn’t Lindsay in rehab yet?

-Who isn’t cheering on the 16 year old in the pink yacht?

And most importantly, no matter what the repercussions (including rotting teeth), will anything actually stop us from guzzling white wine?

When making my decision between drinking a glass of red or white wine, I usually pick vodka. But sometimes that is simply not an option. So my thought process usually goes something like this:

Who doesn’t drink a glass of ice-cold vodka at dinner time? Strange. Wine it is then. But the only people who drink white wine are those trashy housewives in Atlanta and Kirsten from the O.C. We all remember those infamous words before she sent herself off to rehab, “I may like my Chardonnay, but I won’t end up alone! And that’s more than I can say for you!” Wow, that was a train wreck. Better opt for a glass of red. But I’m trying to meet some boys tonight and I don’t think purple teeth are going to work to my advantage. Plus, I’m trying to maintain a glowing smile so I can one day become rich and famous for my million-dollar smile. So I better stick to white wine.

That entire inner monologue could have been avoided had I know this fun fact: White wine is actually worse for your teeth than red.  White wine is high in acid, and that can wear away tooth enamel and intensify the stains left by the double espresso you slammed at the library the night before.

Ub40 was so, so right: Red red wine, you make me (and my teeth) feel so fine. You keep me rocking all of the time….

So for all of you winos who drink soda through a straw and religiously brush your teeth before and after every meal, your best bet is to skip the 2-Buck-Chuck Sauvignon Blanc and order a bottle of red. Or just chug some Listerine. That should do the trick.

Do you pick out the perfect bottle to have with dinner by closing your eyes and randomly grabbing one? When someone says, “This malbec has a rich palate, but is a bit short on the finish,” do you just smile, nod, and agree? I thought so. It sounds like you need to meet Jon and Ted, the two guys behind 2 Guys Uncorked.

I mean, you already know one thing: wine is good. So, why not learn a few more things about it, so you can sound smart and enjoy wine even more than you already do (um, or maybe that’s not a good thing?). 2 Guys Uncorked review wine, but they do it in a fun, youthful way. They’re not pretentious, they don’t use words you can’t understand, and they actually review wine you can find.

In fact, all of the wines they review can be bought in either Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. Oh, and they’re also affordable. You won’t find any $200 bottles of wine on their site because most of the wines they review are in the price range of $3.50-$20. Anyone who reviews a $3.50 bottle of wine is OK in my book.

With an easy-to-use website, you can browse their reviews or search for specific wines. And if you have no idea what you want, you can just tell the wine guys your occasion. Use the pull-down menu to let the guys know you want a wine that is good for anything from “weekend fun” to “celebrating” to something for “making a good impression.”

If you still feel like wine reviews are over your head, you can simply pay attention to the guys final verdicts: “buy,” “don’t buy,” “best buy,” or “well priced.” After all Jon and Ted believe “people want to drink wine, not read about it.” True that, guys.

Before long, 2 Guys Uncorked will be your go-to whenever you’re planning a dinner or an event. And instead of saying “Um, I like white wine,” you’ll soon be gushing, “Oh my God, the Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc tastes just like ripe pineapple and is sooo good with caesar salad. But the other night, I drank a bottle with my roommate and it was great on its own too!”

Now that’s something we can all understand.