Last night was one of those nights that can only be described as bittersweet. I sat on my couch excitedly anticipating the action packed season finale of The Hills (sweet) with some homemade biscotti (also sweet) before I realized that it would in fact be the last Monday for a long time to include my gal pals from L.A. (bitter).

Today is completely bitter. I feel like it is the morning after an awesome hook up when I can’t do anything but sit and think about the guy while I wait for him to call. While the evening it all went down (no pun intended) was awesome, the morning after just sucks.

This time, though, is even worse; I know Lauren isn’t going to call. And I know I am going to have to wait a long, long time to see her again.

But even with all this sadness I can’t help but get warm and fuzzy inside when I think back to that half hour of perfection last night. And my delicious biscotti.

The episode could not have been better. I found my heart melting for Brody, which is weird because he is totally not my type. Usually the popped collar/weird oversized hat kinda guys completely turn me off. But I guess there is something to be said about a guy in love. And he so is!

Which, by the way, made me hate Lauren just a little. Don’t get me wrong; the girl is absolutely fabulous. She has a killer wardrobe, she is surprisingly driven and intelligent considering her more-than-comfortable upbringing and she and I share many thoughts and opinions. I have to say, though, it drives me crazy when girls play dumb with guys. Read More »

I know what will be on my Hanukkah List this year: a few private sessions with Whitney, Lauren and Audrina’s trainer. Not that I find him attractive – I usually don’t go for beefy dudes in tight t-shirts who like to “cheers!” to everything.

No, I want to train with a guy who makes people go for a walk, do five jumping jacks, punch a little bit in the air, grab a few cocktails and end up looking like Whitney. Could her legs be more ridiculous?

Seriously, I don’t think this dude is a real trainer. I think he hangs out at the gym pretending to be one in order to lure hot girls into his giant beefy arms. And, clearly, it worked! He snagged one of L.A.’s hottest and managed to get a deal training some hot new music stars. Perhaps they – like me – saw Whitney and fell for his training charade.

I can also tell you what I don’t want for Hanukkah this year. And that is Spencer Pratt. First of all, that blonde haired/blue eyed freak could never pass for a Jew (and my papa wouldn’t approve). But second, and most important, Spencer makes me ill.

Not like “annoyed” ill. More like “I hate and judge a lot of people but you totally take the cake to the point that you make me lose my appetite for cake. Which is one of my favorite things” ill. Read More »

I can’t lie; I was out on the town with a hot new guy and almost missed last night’s episode of The Hills.

Ok. You caught me. I was actually at my friend’s house playing Guitar Hero 3. Don’t make fun; that game is so awesomely addicting. Unfortunately, it also causes serious hand cramping and my hand is sorta stuck in this claw-like formation at the moment.

Regardless of what I was doing, though, I almost missed the biggest episode of The Hills all season! Thank God the Pat Benetar song ended just in time for me to hop in the car, drive home and tune into the d-rama.

I did miss the first 5 minutes of the episode, but thanks to those guys over at MTV it wasn’t too hard to pick up on what was going on. Which mainly involved an awkward interaction between Lauren and Heidi (and Whitney and Heidi’s friend who were forced to sit there and watch the entire thing) that eventually led to an even more uncomfortable meeting at Lauren’s place.

Now, watching the IM interaction between Heidi and Lauren really bothered me. Not because of what was being written, but because it just further made me question the reality of this entire series. The camera angles, the fact that Heidi became to insistent about talking to Lauren, etc. just seemed to perfect. But, I will put my thoughts aside for a minute to indulge in the Heidi/Lauren Extravaganza! Read More »

Considering that every episode of The Hills includes Heidi drinking at some Hollywood hot-spot, it came as quite a surprise to me to find out she wasn’t yet 21. But, alas, last night was the big two-one for Ms. Montag. And what did she do to celebrate the big event? Why, spend the evening with the one and only person in California that is still speaking to her: Spencer.

I can’t imagine a worse way to spend my birthday – besides the ridiculously sexy Chanel bag, of course – than dining with Spencer Pratt while he plays with his iPhone in a hideous dress that makes me resemble the left-overs of the entire meal my anorexic body couldn’t handle. But who am I to judge? To each their own.

It is not like Heidi had a choice; even if she were still friends with Lauren (or anyone, for that matter) she would not have been able to celebrate with Heidi because everyone who was anyone was at the Young Hollywood party. Which, by the way, LC and Whitney rocked. Way to handle a large group of obscure young “celebrities” and Hilary Duff, ladies! Read More »

After running home to watch The Hills last week and finding it was a rerun, I had a personal moment of silence to mark the end of yet another amazing season.

I also had a little internal hissy fit at MTV for leaving me hanging with the Brody and LC dramatic kiss.

So, imagine my excitement when I get home from hanging out with some peeps this evening, flip through the stations and find an all new episode of The Hills starting right at that moment! Someone was definitely watching over me and I will be thanking him/her the next time I am near a synagogue.

Tonight’s episode was full of a bunch of random tid bits, but it all boils down to one thing for me: who do we trust?

Who is telling the truth about the LC sex tape/giant labia situation? There are so many players in this one that I decided to break it down so together we could try and blow this mystery wiiiiide open.

Jen Bunny: After months of not talking (probably due to Jen Bunny’s plastic surgery recovery time), JB texts Lauren and wants to grab lunch. Upon sitting down and ordering their bowls of lettuce with a side of lemon juice, Jen Bunny comes right down to it and tells Lauren that Brody spread the rumors. Then says that she doesn’t want to get involved. Iiiinteresting. Read More »

Last night was difficult for me. Not only did I have to work late, do my laundry and pay some bills (ew!), but I had to figure out a way to watch The Hills while also watching a friend from college compete on The Bachelor! So much drama, so little time.

Well, in the end The Hills won out (though I did manage to see my old friend fold herself into a pretzel to woo the bachelor…what!?) and it was one jam packed episode! Who knew so many things could go down in 23 minutes?!

I don’t even know where to begin.

Perhaps we could discuss the Whitney work debacle where she was so hungover from partying with the band that she couldn’t seem to convince one of the guys to change his pants.

Or Heidi and Spencer’s wedding woes; she spends her days shopping for dresses, registering for uber expensive things she’s never going to need (because they are always eating at that crappy Mexican place) and picking out the perfect wedding location.

Spencer spends his days not telling his parents he gave his anorexic girlfriend a fake engagement ring and pretending the whole engagement never really happened. Read More »

It finally happened.

After months of waiting – and an amazingly saucy lesbian version of Engaged and Underage – season three of The Hills finally premiered. I had no doubts that the show was going to be top notch, but after watching such a ridiculous ep of Engaged and Underage (full of lesbian fights, make out scenes and a whole lotta white dresses), I really didn’t know if my show could live up to all of my original expectations.

Well, my friends, did it ever!

Let the recap begin! And there is no better place to star than at the beginning.

Like with Whitney (shockingly!!!) getting a full time job at Teen Vogue. Oh, and LC returning for her third consecutive year as an intern…because everyone gets a three year internship! I mean, one semester isn’t standard or anything. All huge fashion mags invite their not-famous-at-all interns back for a few more years. Read More »

If reading all about the personal lives of Lauren, Heidi, Spencer, Whitney, and whoever else thinks appearing on The Hills is a smart career move hasn’t been enough for you these last few months, you can stop wondering what they’ve been up to on August 13th!

Is Lauren really not talking to Heidi? Is Whitney’s job really a job? Does Spencer really love Heidi or did he brainwash her? How’s it going with Lauren and her brand new best friend/roommate?

MTV has you covered, so spend the rest of your precious summer vacation following the lives of these people.

I won’t judge.