What is it about smoking that feels mysterious, or sexy, or chic? Or is that it? Do you smoke because of its image or do you smoke because it’s convenient? It gives you something to do with your hands at parties, I guess. But what else is there? Despite everything you know about smoking – emphysema, the fatality of lung cancer, the fact that it will give asthma to your kids if you keep this up – you’re still doing it. There has to be a reason.

Friends, I’m not trying to guilt-trip or shame you. Certainly, if you want to smoke – go ahead! It only hurts you (well, mostly — anyone in your direct vicinity is getting a good dose of secondhand, but hopefully, you make the conscientious choice to smoke away from others). I’m just trying to understand.

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I am an expert in awkward situations. When I first meet people, more often than not, I leave a horrible first impression. I am similarly awkward in my attempts to be a part of the dating scene.

Just last week, a coworker exclaimed, “Kathryn, you have no game. Your entire approach is off!” Yes, this is true. But somehow, I still get some action, which is why she followed her (rather harsh) declaration with the question, “How do you do it?”

Still, no matter how many times I’ve immediately wished I could retract the bizarre statement that just came out of my mouth, I’ve also been with, or had friends who have been with, equally hopeless guys.

Reviewing my own traumatic events, as well as some of my friends’ bizarre sexual encounters, I’ve compiled a list of some of the worst things to say during sex. Because I’m a woman, they are written from a female perspective, but each of these can be just as cringe-worthy coming from a guy.

1. “Ohhhh, Michael… I mean… Dan?”

Make sure you know the name of the person you’re inviting past the pearly gates. Calling someone by another name will at once crush your partner’s ego and make you look sleazy. Once, I was hooking up with a guy and he proceeded to pour out his feelings for another girl… and try to get my advice on how to go about courting her. That really sucked, and he was pissed when I cut our session short. Read More »