Maybe it’s because I’m done with finals and I have nothing to worry about. Maybe it’s because all of my favorite TV shows are going on hiatus. Maybe it’s because I zoomed through my blogs too quickly this week, but I have to say, I’ve come to a sad realization.

Celebrity scandal is dead.

Think about it. There has been absolutely nothing of interest going on in the world of celebs these past few weeks. Why is Hollywood so quiet? Even Charlie Sheen has been MIA.  Has it finally happened? Has Hollywood finally imploded? Has the well gone dry? Have they run out of stupid things to do? For my sanity, I hope not. Celebs, I beg of you, please continue to entertain me with stories of your crazy.

Please?

Sigh.

Maye a little inspiration will help. Let’s remember some of the greatest celebrity scandals of our time.

Whatcha hidin' under that shirt, Charles?

Not news: Charlie Sheen is crazy.
He has conquered the tri-fecta of Hollywood crazy and has moved into the ranks of Lohan and Britney circa 2007. He is clearly on drugs, has his own catchphrase (#Winning) and is making the big bucks by going around the country talking about how crazy he is. He’s a regular crazy ass.

Major news: Charlie Sheen’s abs are #winning.
Considering the guy is a drug addict who smokes more cigarettes than an entire sorority house full of drunk girls, you’d expect the guy to be in less than stellar shape. What you wouldn’t expect is this.

I know, right?! SHOCKING. Can I get a slow ‘daaaaaaamn’ from my soul sisters? I guess I finally get what all those goddesses see in him.

Note: I still think he’s gross. And crazy.

We’re back with another scrumptious G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff), and this week all of our affections belong to none other than Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter.

Derek Jeter is absolutely the total package: drop-dead-gorgeous, an all-star athlete, charming, and above all, a true gentleman.  Ladies have been on deck to eff the champion charmer since his rookie days in 1996. Leading the Yankees to four World Series titles in his first five years as a major leaguer, Jeter’s also been named Rookie of the Year, World Series MVP,  and All-Star MVP, among other awards. (Hey Jete, is that a Golden Glove in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)

Jeter’s always been an example of terrific sportsmanship. He always puts the Yankees first, and gives his unwavering support for teammates even as they face hardship such as injury or steroid-use allegations.  “We just want to win,” he says of the Bronx Bombers. “That’s the bottom line.” And unlike many athletes who are all talk and no action, Jeter backs up his claims by making jaw-dropping catches and swift double-plays. Have you seen this diving catch he made into the stands? His body sure must be durable–I wonder what else it’s capable of doing….

But aside from his achievements on the baseball diamond, Jeter’s a star off the field, too. He’s got a smooth sense of humor (evident from his appearances on Saturday Night Live), is a Midwestern boy at heart, and he knows how to party! Frequently spotted at New York nightclubs (work hard, play hard, right?), I not-so-secretly hope to run into him one of these days.

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