When the temperature takes a dip, celebs know to toss all their designer duds into Louis Vuitton duffel bags and head to some of the most exclusive tropical locales in the world. Luckily for us, the paparazzi are never far behind and we get to creep all over their vacations via the internet. Don’t even begin to lay out for me how this is all morally wrong and stars have a right to privacy, especially around the holidays, blah blah blah.

I’d like to care, but I don’t. It just so happens that I have resolutions to keep and seeing these (mostly) tanned and toned glamazons will motivate me to hit the gym like none other.  So if you, like myself, need 16 reasons to stay on the elliptical just a liiiittle longer, just take a peek below.

[Everyone’s got a morning after story (though some are WAY worse than others) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

By now you’re almost half way through Winter Break. You’ve got the major holidays behind you- Christmas eve, Christmas day, New Year’s- and that means pretty much all scenarios involving getting drunk with your family have expired. How’d you do? Make it through with minimal blows to your self-respect, pride, and squeaky-clean image?

If you’re like me and live in a house of crazy, you hit the bottle. Hard. And so did your mother, father, nineteen year-old sister, great aunt, bizarre gay uncle, both grandparents, and that random cousin you think is hot (but he’s only like…a third cousin through a second marriage, so it’s okay).

I suppose this submission isn’t so much a “Morning After” as it is a “Week After,” because let me tell you, the occasions on which I embarrassed myself this holiday season were hardly contained to one evening. Sure I could pick one moment to elaborate on, like when my mother explained to her sisters that all the nice boys at school were so interested in me. Of course I had to open my mouth (full of wine-stained teeth) to correct her. The “nice boys” are only interested in one thing. And I just happen to do that one thing really, really well. Then, naturally, I thanked her for giving me so many popsicles as a kid because I sincerely believe that’s where I get my technique.

I could also tell you about how I referred to the lemon curd as “funky jizz” or told grandma she shouldn’t be having sex now that her hip is acting up. But those are mild slips of the drunk tongue.

I might enlighten you on how I cried as I held my baby nephew because, and I quote, “I just wanna baby! Men don’t want me, lesbians probably don’t want me. Should I adopt? No, no. They’ll say I’m a deadbeat mom in the making. And so I’ll end up forty and alone. Single. So single. And I can’t even have cats because I’m allergic! The cats don’t even love me! Ohmigod what am I going to do!?” But I won’t tell you about that because I was slurring and I might have spilled my wine onto the baby’s lap…and that just reflects poorly on me.

How about when I tried to make out with the aforementioned hot not-through-blood cousin? Yeah, you’re not getting that one out of me.

Needless to say, 2011 is welcoming me with AA meetings, family counseling, and a bevy of apology notes. Hope you fared at least a little better. Happy New Year!

[You think that's bad? Check out our other cringe-worthy Morning After stories.]

If your copy of “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days” has seen its days and you’re desperately looking for a marathon that doesn’t include the real housewives from anywhere, grab some popcorn and cosmopolitans because you’re in for a seriously good time (from the comfort of your warm, cozy couch) if you pick any of the marathons listed below.

1. The Judd Apatow Saga: The ’80s had the brat pack but we’ve got the comedic crew of a lifetime led by fearlessly funny director Judd Apatow. Names like Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Jason Segal, Jonah Hill, and Steve Carrell cover the IMDb lists of Apatow’s movies, each one of them making us realize how sexy a how sense of humor really is.

Movie List: Knocked Up, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Pineapple Express and Forgetting Sarah Marshall

2. The Lindsay Lohan Pre-Rehab Marathon: If you need a reminder why everyone is so obsessed with the ins and outs of Lindsay Lohan’s stints at rehab, this marathon is just the fix. Sure, the past few years haven’t exactly been LiLo’s best and brightest, but she wasn’t always a bad girl. Time to grab your ankle bracelet because with a movie list like this, you won’t be leaving the house for a while.

Movie List: The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, Mean Girls and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

3. Classics That We Should All See Once, Just To Say You’ve Seen Them: Some things for us are just classic, like Ryan Reynolds shirtless and waking up next to the guy you asked all your friends to keep you away from (and reminding yourself not to do that again), but some classics are before our time. Marlon Brando, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn, are all names we know but have you actually seen their movies? If you’re in need of a classic movie rundown, you’re in luck. Oh, and if you think Ryan Reynolds is sexy, wait until you see a semi-shirtless Marlon Brandon cry out “Stellaaaaaa.”

Movie List: A Streetcar Named Desire, Cat On a Hot Tin Roof, Some Like It Hot and Breakfast At Tiffany’s

4. ’90s Teen Movies: If you’re missing your spaghetti strap tanks and your platform Sketchers, grab all your Beanie Babies and your old Bop magazines, sink into your inflatable chair and head down memory lane with these movies. If the wardrobe doesn’t bring you back to your early teen years, the plots of heartbreak and crushes sure will. Search your drugstore for a facial mask, grab your bestie and paint each other’s nails and make a sleepover out of it, just like freshman year of high school when you couldn’t party on Friday nights because you couldn’t drive.

Movie List: She’s All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, Clueless and Spiceworld

5. Wintery Romantic Comedies: Because romantic comedies just seem more romantic when it’s cold outside. Call your friends and get out of going out tonight (tell them you’re sick, cough, cough,) so you can indulge in the guiltiest of movie marathons. Throw on a plush sweater and your Uggs, make some hot cocoa with extra marshmallows and keep a box of tissues near by (just in case) and follow the adventures of finding love in the coldest months with some of your best girlfriends, Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Movie List: The Holiday, Love Actually, The Family Stone and Serendipity

It’s a good thing I own a huge collection of sweatpants, because I don’t plan on ever leaving my house. I mean, have you seen it out there? It’s disgusting over on the East coast, and the only thing getting me through this season is the knowledge that I won’t need to wear a bikini in public anytime soon and therefore feel no guilt when I binge on deep-fried Oreos.

Okay, fine I lied. I’d much rather be frolicking around in the ocean, lounging on the beach with a good book, and getting a wicked case of sunburn. So now that I’ve gone through the entire box of Oreos, I’m going to get myself through this weather-induced depression by dreaming about all the places I’d rather be than right here. Under a blanket. Covered in cookie crumbs. As my mother yells at me about “leaving my stuff all over the house.”

Deep sigh.

[Click on any beautiful, hot beach to get this party started.]

Here at CollegeCandy we’ve been all about spreading the love, joy, and general merriment of the holiday season this week.  We gave you gift guides, survival lists, and countless Hollywood scandals to talk about.  But in case you missed anything while you were out hunting for a parking spot at the mall, here’s a run down of what you should be reading…

-Welcome winter!  Here’re 10 Things We Love about Y.O.U.

-Home for a week and already bored?  We’ve gotcha covered.

-And in case you’re one of those ambitious types, 6 TV shows you should definitely watch this break.  Break out Netflix and a giant bag of popcorn!  Dawson’s Creek, anybody?

-Is Mom asking you why you haven’t found a boyfriend yet…on your Facebook wall?  Avoid arguments while you’re home by laying down these social networking ground rules for parents.

-If you’re not celebrating Christmas with the fam (consider yourself lucky and) take a peek at this cheat sheet to throwing the ultimate holiday party.

-Reflecting on this past semester and wondering if you’re bordering on Make Out Slut territory?  Worry not, our dude’s got you covered.

-Or maybe you’re in that relationship gray area.  You know, where everything is perfect and lovely and wonderful…except you haven’t said those three little words yet.  Maybe that’s not so bad…

-Yikes!  Looking for a few last-minute presents to pick up?  We gotcha, girl!

-And don’t forget what’s coming up in a few more short days!  Have you got your New Year’s outfit yet?  Shop your closet and get a jump on that “Save More Money!!!!” resolution.

-A lot can change in the month that you’re home.  Be on top of the latest flirting trends when you’re back on campus.  Hint: it makes Twitter look tame and Facebook seem almost obsolete.

Xtreme XMAS light displays

Super cute sparkly heels

Does 16 and Pregnant actually prevent teen pregnancy

The 9 high school classmates you’ll see over break

3 sexy scents for winter

Sexy Bandz are the new silly bandz

Should 8-year-olds have blackberries?

I’ve decided recently, while lying naked in my bed after a shower (try it—it might just be the greatest thing about being home) that this break is 5% nostalgia, 25% catching some Z’s, 20% eating and 50% flat out weird.

While it’s great to see old friends and talk about that one girl in our class who got married in a hush hush courtroom wedding, or to share in on the somberness and tears of the death of our classmates’ family members, such events are not just fodder for ladies’ “let’s catch up!” sessions. More than that, they mark a tangible milestone of the passing of our high school years and the reclamation of something a bit more personal.

I’ve always held my life motto to be that I don’t take myself too seriously—and yet, maybe, taking yourself seriously is what going to college is all about. But in a different sense than what I’d ever thought about.
My good guy pal (who also decided to go to school out of state) attended our high school basketball game last weekend. To him, it was weird sitting in the college section, seeing all the high school girls clad in Ugg boots, visibly clinging to any tentacle of popularity, and all the high school guys standing chests puffed and arms crossed, the picture of hetero manliness. It was weird seeing all these doppelgangers of ourselves past adhering to the unwritten standards of our mainstream Midwest conservative high school. It was weird realizing that we were those people, just a year ago. And it was most disconcerting of all to recognize that we no longer are.

It might be more obvious to those of us who decided to forsake going to our state school, or those who went to state school, but made a group of new friends, but the constraints that once held together the social fiber of 4 (maybe more) years of our lives have become as extinct as Tyrannosaurus Rexes.

Though we’ve only left high school for 6 months, we’re already growing up. People got married. People died. People understood that there is a world wider than the halls of our high school.

Of course, there are people who don’t realize it—some of my friends, some of my former classmates in my class of 756, and even I, sometimes, have had a difficult time adjusting to life outside of those social constraints. And so, we reach back, for our glory days, for what we’re comfortable with. We sometimes transfer colleges after first semester to be with old friends. We sometimes alienate new experiences by only remembering Prom 2010. We sometimes forget what it’s like to adjust and make changes and to take our individual selves seriously.

The past can pull everyone in. Sweet nostalgia is probably more addictive than heroin. But over these first few days of winter break, when I’ve been steeped in old friends and good times and nostalgia, I’ve realized that college is the time to take your own self seriously. To forget about all the standards of high school and instead, to find what we all really want out of our own lives.

Weird that after 4 months in a college classroom learning more than I ever have in my life, it only took 4 days at home to learn the biggest lesson of all.

Margaret’s been through a lot during her first semester at college. Check out what else she’s been dealing with all semester long.

With the holidays upon us, and exams finally over, most of us are packin’ our bags and getting ready to head home for a couple weeks of home cooked meals and our childhood beds. But there’s another important thing that we have to look forward to when it comes to headin’ back to the hometown: seeing our high school friends — friends that may or may not include that missed opportunity.

So what are the rules when it comes to hookin’ up with high school friends? Like most things sexual, there aren’t very many. But take it from a girl who’s heard one too many stories that involve drunken nights back home, there are a few things one should keep in mind when thinking of getting down in their hometown.

Word travels fast. Oh, yes. Even though we pride ourselves on being adults, unlike being away at school, doin’ it with the guy (or girl) who was your tenth grade lab partner is probably going to be a topic of interest among your other high school friends. And their friends. And those kids who went to the other high school up the street. If your hometown is as small as mine, don’t expect much privacy. But hey, if you’re going to be the center of gossip for any reason, might as well be for getting your freak on.

Expectations. That missed opportunity from high school has probably been built up in your head over the years, and chances are, the actual experience is going to be nowhere near your expectations. It’s good to cross some things (er, people) off your to-do list, but some things (like the boy who totally peaked in high school) are also better left to fantasy.

My place or yours? Being back in town probably means staying with parents, and there’s nothing more awkward than your partner’s parents witnessing your morning-after stride-of-pride. So unless you want to get busy in the back of a car (hey, it’d be like a giant high school flashback), you might want to re-think doin’ a high school friend.

So tell me CC readers, is it worth it? Have you ever gotten the chance to make out with your “missed opportunity”? Tell us about it!

This week’s Greek Speak is powered by our pals at GreekGear.com. Whether you wanna stock up on new sweats for yourself or some new flippy floppies for your big sis, they’ve got all the latest and greatest Greek goodies. And right now you can get it all for 10% off by entering “Candy10″ at checkout!

Ahhh, finals are over… we can all take a sigh of relief, right? Wrong. For the last two years, going home over holiday breaks has been brutally bittersweet. My parentals are still in the middle of building a house that, in the mean time, leaves me roomless, bedless, and no-space-to-myselfless. I’ve literally been moved out of my chapter house for plus or minus 72 hours and I feel like my life may be coming to an end. I am not going to pretend like I am in the worst situation possible… I am in the worst situation possible.

The nightmare begins pretty much from the moment I pull onto the street where we temporary reside until the new house is finished. I look at the driveway- where the hell am I supposed to park? The garage is jam-packed full of our belongings, and the driveway is occupied. Looks like the snowy, unplowed street for me. Can you say VIP? At my chapter house I have my very own space in a parking lot just steps from the front door… not to mention our maintenance man plows the lot every morning before I even bother to wake up. Just sayin’…

I make it into the house and disaster number two strikes. Looking disheveled from carrying in my luggage because of course no one in my family offered to help me (note: a sorority sister would have helped in a heart beat), I quickly realize I have nowhere to store my stuff. I have a 15-year-old sister so surely there will be room in her closet right? Not a chance. Reality has set in: for the next three weeks, I will be living out of these suitcases. Every outfit, no matter how much Downy wrinkle releaser I use, will still be slightly wrinkly and smell faintly of musk. Attractive.

And it’s not like I can borrow clothes from anyone. While I have tons of closets to pick through while I’m living it up with my sorority sisters at school, at home I’ve got only my mom (read: mom jeans) and my sister (read: Justin Bieber t-shirts and leggings that look like flood pants on me).

It gets better…

Last night I was so hungry I think my sister could hear my stomach growling from her room (note: she has one, I don’t)… I asked my mom what was for dinner, and she replied, “turkey burgers.” Vom. Without panicking I peeled myself off the couch (where I had been basically all day) to search the fridge for anything but that excuse for a meal. Fail. Living without a chef is really starting to sink in- hard. What do you mean no 24/7 hot cocoa and snacks? No meals prepared for me? FML.

This is going to be rough.

Going home for a holiday break is great – don’t get me wrong. With it comes relief from class, exams, and anything academic. But sometimes, like right now as I watch my brother play yet another video game because he’s the only person around I can hang out with, I’m totally jonesing for my chapter house.

Feeling my pain? What do you miss about being away from your sorority over the holidays?

Get more Greek Life goodness right here.

"WHY AREN'T THEY UP YET?!"

Your stomach has been churning since you walked out of your last exam. You know the grades are curved, but you also know that leaving the last essay blank is not going to bode well on your overall score. You talked to your friends in the class and compared answers. You’ve flipped through your notes again and again. You’ve attempted to calculate your score in your head.

And now you just have to wait.

You pack your bags to head home. Then you check your grades online. Nothing.
You take a cab to the airport. Then you check your grades from your phone. Still nothing.
You check them again as soon as you land.
And again after you kiss your mom hello and drop your laundry in the laundry room.

Still nothing.

You know that there is no way the professor is going to get the tests graded in the next few days so you attempt to forget about it. You don’t want to think about grades anymore, anyway. You’re on break, the test is over and there’s nothing you can do about it now, dammit.

And then you sit down to dinner with your parents and before you can say “Pass the ketchup,” your dad turns to you and asks, “How did finals go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, OK? My stupid professor isn’t going to post the grades for 2 weeks anyway and I did my best and there’s no changing it and that last question was so absurd. No one got it. I swear he never went over that thing once. And now I probably got a C in the class and my entire GPA is ruined. Why do you always have to nag??”

Your family goes silent.
Then someone changes the topic and you move on.

After dinner you check your grades again. Then again before bed. You wake up in the morning thinking about the test. You check your grades again. Still blank.

You try to keep busy – wrapping presents, watching TV, meeting up with home friends – but you still can’t stop thinking about it. You log in again and again. And are disappointed and stressed again and again.

Finally,  during your routine wake-up-and-check-your-grades-while-you’re-still-in-bed, you see it. That little space under to “final grade” has a number in it. A number way higher than you were expecting. You pump your fists. You do a little dance. You email everyone you know in the class to see how they did (but make sure to tone down the enthusiasm in case they bombed…). You run downstairs to find your parents.

Then, for the first time in weeks, you relax. Winter break and weeks free of studying, papers and exams can now officially begin…