"DE-FENSE!"

For millions of Americans, the holiday season isn’t only a magical time because of the standard stocking stuffers and gingerbread houses, but also because it means college football bowl season is here (!!!!).

Unless you’re a die-hard football fan or your team is playing in one of these games, you probably won’t have the time to tune into some of the smaller bowl games such as the Beef ‘O’ Bradys’ St. Petersburg Bowl (yup, this is an actual name of a bowl game). But for everyone else (and yes, I mean everyone – from the dedicated college football fan to the dedicated Saturday tailgater), the big bowl games are fun and exciting to watch.

Here is a quick guide to the biggest bowl games this season, and the deets you need to know while watching each. So grab a couple friends and a couple beers (optional) and park yourself on the couch. It’s time to go “bowling”!

Be honest, what else do you have to do over winter break?

Rose Bowl (January 1, 5:00 ET on ESPN)
Who: TCU Horned Frogs (3) v. Wisconsin Badgers (5)
What to know: The third-ranked Horned Frogs (intimidating right?) will take on the fifth-ranked Badgers in the Rose Bowl, the historical New Years day game held in Pasadena. TCU offense is led by quarterback Andy Dalton who is coming off a successful senior season, and their much-hyped defense is number one in the nation for holding their opponents to the fewest points. TCU will be playing with a lot of emotion; they finished the season undefeated and feel as though they should be playing for the national championship.

Wisconsin offense is led by quarterback Scott Tolzien and three standout running backs. Badger linemen Gabe Carimi and John Moffitt were just named all-American first team and will provide a note-worthy match up with the TCU defensive line.
Fun Facts: The Rosebowl is known as the ‘Granddaddy of Them All’ because it is the oldest and formerly most prestigious game… Wisconsin has scored over 70 points in three of its wins this season… This is the first ever Rosebowl for TCU.

Fiesta Bowl (January 1, 8:30 ET on EPSN)
Who: Connecticut Huskies v. Oklahoma Sooners (7)
What to know: This will be an emotionally charged game for both teams. Last season, UConn star Jasper Howard was tragically murdered on campus. Oklahoma will also come out fired up; they are 1-3 in their last four bowl appearances. The Huskies are the champions of the Big East, which is arguably one of the weakest conferences in the country. UConn tailback Jordan Todman is second in the nation in rushing and could be a key factor considering Oklahoma has struggled stopping runs this season. Oklahoma is coached by legendary Bob Stoops and their high-powered offense is led by sophomore QB Landry Jones, running back Demarco Murray, and receiver Ryan Broyles.
Fun Facts: Many analysts don’t think UConn’s 8-4 record (with two losses to inferior teams) merits them a spot in this game… Sooners are the heavy favorites.

Orange Bowl (January 3, 8:30 ET on ESPN)
Who: Stanford Cardinal (4) v. Virginia Tech Hokies (13)
What to know: This will be a battle between two hard-nosed football teams. Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh has taken Stanford from one of the worst teams in the Pac 10 to nearly playing for the National Championship. Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck was a Heisman trophy runner-up (award given to the best college football player in the country) and is expected to be the first pick in the NFL draft. In other news, sports journalists have way too much fun coming up with headlines that incorporate “Luck” or “Lucky.” Expect to hear play-on-words with this name inevitably before, during and after the game.

Virginia Tech suffered two tough losses in first two games of the season, but then rallied and have come back to win 11 straight. Keep an eye out for Ryan Williams, David Wilson and Darren Evans, the three dynamic running backs for the Hokies.
Fun Facts: ESPN’s Monday Night Football crew is calling the game… Stanford’s last bowl victory was in 1996 (in more relatable terms, the last time Stanford won a bowl game, Miley Cyrus was 4 years old!)… Ready to feel bad about yourself? Stanford’s Owen Marecic starts on both offense and defense and is a human biology major with a near perfect GPA… It is the Stanford Cardinal, not Cardinals (no ‘s’!)

Sugar Bowl (January 4, 8:30 ET, ESPN)
Who: Ohio State Buckeyes (6) v. Arkansas Razorbacks (8)
What to know: This game features two of college football’s most popular teams, two well respected coaches, two star quarterbacks, and will undoubtedly intensify the bitter rivalry between the Big 10 and the SEC. Look out for Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor, the leader of the explosive Ohio State offense, to spend just as much time running the ball as he does passing it. Ohio State’s versatile offense may give them a slight advantage. Arkansas will rely on quarterback Ryan Mallet and running back Knile Davis, and will enjoy huge turnout of loyal fans who will travel to New Orleans for the game.
Fun Facts: Mallet began his college career at Michigan (Ohio State’s biggest rival) before transferring… Ohio State has a 0-9 record against SEC teams in the post season and such struggles have prompted claims of an “SEC curse.”

BCS National Championship Game (January 10, 8:30 ET on ESPN)
Who: Oregon Ducks (2) v. Auburn (1)
What to know: Both teams have high-powered offenses and this game is expected to be a quick-paced and high scoring one. Oregon is averaging 49.3 points per game and stars running back LaMichael James and receiver Jeff Maehl. Oregon defense is solid too and has recorded 20 interceptions this year. Heisman winner Cam Newton is the physical and moral leader for Auburn. Auburn defense has struggled defending against the passing game, and this weakness could be their downfall if it goes uncorrected.
Fun Facts: Neither team has played for the National Championship before… Auburn (then called Alabama Polytechnic Institute) was named national champion in 1957, but was ineligible to play in a bowl game… If the name Casey Matthews (Oregon lineman) sounds familiar, it’s because his grandfather, dad, and uncle have played in the NFL and his brother Clay is currently on the Green Bay Packers.

Welcome back to The Rival Rundown! If you’ve always wanted to give props to your school on CC, now’s your chance! Shoot us an email explaining what’s awesome and unique about your school (or what stinks about Rival U) at rivalrundown@collegecandy.com!

Put on yer best Midwest accent, serve up some hot dish, and grab yer mittens, because this week we’re taking a look at two of the nation’s premier state schools who rival each other in just about everything–but especially hockey. The University of Minnesota–Twin Cities and the University of Wisconsin–Madison are both members of the Big Ten conference and the northern region, where hockey is the recreational sport of choice. Can one of these schools score a hat trick?

1. Mascot Match-up

Minnesota- Goldy Gopher, the leader of the Minnesota Golden Gophers, has led fans in cheering for twenty-four NCAA  titles, five of which were won for hockey!
Wisconsin-The Wisconsin Badgers have won twenty-six NCAA titles, six of which were for men’s hockey. However, the men’s boxing team has won the most of any Wisconsin sport, with eight national titles.

Three credits to:  Wisconsin. Cuz they’d beat the crap out of me if I didn’t say that.

2. Border Battle Cup Stats (Held annually since the 2004-2005 school year, the Cup is awarded to the school with the highest number of wins from head-to-head match-ups and conference standings between the two institutions.)

Minnesota- Two wins (08-09 and 05-06)
Wisconsin- Three wins (04-05, 06-07, 07-08)

Three Credits to:  Wisconsin

3. Terrific Traditions

Minnesota- A true Minnesota fan will recognize the battle cry of “Ski-U-Mah!”, taken from an old Sioux warrior chant and adapted into U of M fight songs for over 115 years!
Wisconsin- Badger fans sure know how to celebrate. After every football game–win or lose–fans, players, coaches, and alumni stick around for the Fifth Quarter, a stadium party filled with school songs, games, and activities for all.

Three credits to:  Wisconsin (for, as the old song goes, accentuating the positive!)

4. Ass-kicking Alumni

Minnesota- Bob Dylan (attended), Herb Brooks (Coach of Miracle on Ice men’s hockey team), Carol Bly
Wisconsin- Frank Lloyd Wright (attended), Joyce Carol Oates , Bud Selig (MLB commissioner)

Three credits to: A tough call with so many veritable icons, but the edge goes to Minnesota for music and hockey immortality.

5. Acceptance Rate Agony (for the class of 2012)

Minnesota- 52.5%
Wisconsin- 52.7%

Three credits to:  Minnesota

And the diploma goes to: Wisconsin! Take another Fifth Quarter, Badgers, this one’s all yours!

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I just don’t know if 2 days is enough for me.

Being that I have such a public forum at my disposal, I thought I would go the extra mile this year and clear my slate of sins before I even step foot into synagogue this evening. So, without further adieu, here are my apologies. Please forgive:

- I am sorry for doubting the Wolverines and their ability to have a KILLER comeback in a football game.

- I am sorry that I called that girl a bitch in the bathroom because she refused to pass me toilet paper under the stall.

- I am sorry for all those times I cut people off while driving; I thought I had more important places to be than them, but I now realize that getting home in time for Oprah is really not important at all (mostly because I have DVR).

- I am sorry for talking badly behind people’s backs all year. I am also sorry that I will do it again next year.

- I am sorry for stealing internet from you, upstairs neighbor. But you should be sorry for waking me up at 6am on weekends while having (LOUD) sex with your boyfriend.

- I am sorry for this.

God I love this holiday. The apples and honey, the family meals, and the fact that all my wrong doings can be erased simply by asking. I can see why Lindsay Lohan wants to be a jew.

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Then, THE WAIT. And running to the mail box every day. Staring at your application status page – pressing F5 over and over (refresh, refresh, refresh!). Until, one day that magical word appears: admitted.

Fast forward to September.

The move-in is over (your mom only broke down once, thank goodness). The awkward, “Hi, I’m going to be living in close quarters!” moment is over with your roomie(s) and classes have begun.

And an unsettling feeling set in. This place isn’t what you thought it would be. You try to love it – really you do – but it isn’t the right fit and you can’t seem to get into a groove. You know you could transfer but *argh!* you thought you were set! That the application insanity was done for good! What do you do?

This was my story.

I, an LA girl, decided I wanted to experience life outside of tinsel town and get down to my German/ Norwegian roots. Yes. I moved to Wisconsin!

UW-Madison was far too expensive, so I applied to a small private college nearby. It seemed perfect— a cute little campus, single dorms available to freshmen girls (walk-in closets!) and they were offering me a 50% scholarship on academic merits. Plus they had a consortium with UW-Madison. I was totally psyched—the best of both worlds!

Then it was September and suddenly my perfect little plan began to have some SERIOUS flaws:

1. Everyone was from a small town in WI, which was cool, but as a Californian I was a minor celebrity, which got stale super fast. I just couldn’t fit in.

2. I couldn’t have a car on campus and a trip via bus to the nearest shopping area took nearly an hour in transit time—and that’s once I made the bus. It came every 30 min or so. As it got chilly this became a major issue.

3. Similarly, the bad bus situation made taking courses at UW-Madison totally ridiculous. (Bye-bye consortium)

4. There was one prof for my major. ONE. Silly me, I assumed that if you were going to offer a major you’d actually have profs on hand. One prof doesn’t a major make (especially because he was HORRIBLE!!!).

The list goes on and on and on.

Suffice it to say that by the end of September I had decided to move on. I think that if it had only been the social thing I might have stuck it out. But the academic flaws tipped the scale. (Did I mention my French professor mainly spoke in English and would accuse me of “throwing a flying saucer into her lecture” if I dared ask a question?)

I knew that I wanted to go to a good grad school and I began to realize that staying at this school would be the best way to drastically decrease my chances.

I’m not going to lie—the transfer process was incredibly stressful. Getting letters of rec sucks when you’ve only been at the school for a few months. “Hi professor, ummm your school sucks so I’m trying to transfer to a better one.” Or even better: “Hi former high school teacher, I made a horrible choice in colleges and I need you to write ANOTHER letter of rec for me.” Even more, I knew that to transfer into a competitive program from my dinky college I’d need great grades.

Oh, and remember THE WAIT? Well it’s longer for transfer students—I didn’t hear definitively from my top choice until the middle of May.

But it was SO worth it. I transferred to GW in Washington D.C. and I looooove it. I actually had to study at GW (Ok, yes I’m a total nerd but this made me really happy) and my fellow students were similarly motivated. And, best of all there were lots and lots of profs for my department!

Transferring is not for the weak of heart. But if you know you can do better, whether it be academically, athletically, socially, etc. then you owe it to yourself to give it a shot.

Incidentally, I’m writing this during my insane apartment hunting in NYC—because I’m going to grad school at NYU. There’s a very slim chance I would be here had I not taken the plunge.

Bill Bellamy and British assistant host Fearne headed to Los Angeles and Houston to scout for top talent. Both cities were teeming with stellar comedians, especially of the fairer sex.

Three ladies made it to the semi-finals including Andi Smith, a funny lady with a funnier accent. (Her MySpace page says she’s from a small town in Wisconsin though, so the jokes on me.) She’s a working comedian with a lot miles on her and tonight she took the Last Comic Standing camera crew on a tour of her motel room. Let’s just say I’ve seen more habitable fraternity house bathrooms.

Other standouts tonight were Erin Foley, who did an fantastic set on the oddities that can be seen driving through Mississippi and the over-eager employees in the Wachovia commercials. And Jackie Kashian, another Wisconsin native, impressed me with her warm family humor. Move over cheese, comedy is quickly turning into our number one export...not right here though...sorry about that.

The men weren't half bad either. My favorite is Eddie Pepitone who is the bastard child of Lewis Black, Sam Kinison

and every angry old man you try to avoid on the bus. He grouchy but ultimately lovable, which makes him a little more grouchy. It's a vicious cycle which results in a some serious laugh out loud moments.

Last Comic Standing is bringing in comedians from NBC shows past and present to serve as guest judges. Tonight's panelists were Oscar Nunez and Angela Kinsey from The Office and Alfonso Ribeiro (Fresh Prince) and Neil Flynn (The Janitor from Scrubs). One of these things is not like the others. One of these things does not belong. Not because he's black (Though NBC is sorely lacking in the people of color department) and not because he's short (he said so himself tonight) and not even because his show went off the air 12 years ago (many of the Fresh Prince storylines are still relevant...except that one with Bell Biv Devoe). Alfonso Ribeiro just isn't someone I think of when I think "funny." I don't know where he fell on NBC's short list but he would've been near the bottom of mine. Was Mayim Bialik from Blossom too busy?

Did you watch tonight? Did anyone you love not make the cut? With two weeks of auditions in the can, who are your front runners? And just what is Fearne adding to this program?

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