"If I clean this toilet I can have a beer tonight."

I’m constantly amazed at how challenging it is to be an adult. It’s like everyday there’s something new I have to do that won’t get taken care of unless I actually take the initiative to do it.

I’ve basically had to turn into a parent for myself in order to get anything done. I remind myself to do things repeatably even though I heard myself the first time, I nag myself incessantly to do gross chores around the apartment, and I even discipline and reward myself with a behavior chart I keep on the fridge. Five gold stars mean I can go out for happy hour on Friday.

I’ve recently put myself in time-out (spent all day on the couch watching whatever Sandra Bullock movie TBS plays) for breaking curfew and I’ve lectured myself about not taking vitamins when I started sniffling last week. I’m at the point that I think my actual mother feels left out when she calls because I’ve already covered her territory. She calls expecting an opportunity to nurture (tell me what to do) and instead she gets a co-parent complaining about misbehavior and paying the cable bill on time.

While I’ve enjoyed being a parent to myself and ending each night with a warm glass of milk and Goodnight Moon, I’ve started to wonder when I will transition from being a faux-adult to being a real one. Read More »

Working in the real world is harder than I ever thought. I remember older friends telling me that they would come home exhausted and barely have the energy to pull together a dinner sandwich. But I blew them off and just assumed that for some reason their jobs involved intensive physical labor that made them so tired. And since I was never on the construction job track I figured that I would end my days full of energy and zest.

Turns out I was wrong. I’m so dead by the end of the day that I can barely keep my eyes open when I crawl into bed at sunset. Truth be told, I cannot figure out why. I possibly have the least physically demanding job in the entire world. As a freelance blogger I spend half my days in bed on the computer and half my days on a couch on the computer. Sure my fingers are getting a work-out (ever seen a thumb with biceps?) but the rest of me might as well be sold off for spare parts. If anyone knows how much legs (partially shaved) are going for these days, please leave me a message below.

And it’s not only the exhaustion that’s taking a toll on me. It’s also being responsible for the work that I do everyday. In the past I’ve had part time jobs doing things like working at an ice cream store. But if I didn’t bring my A-game to work it wasn’t that big of a deal. All it meant was that some kid had an allergic reaction because I wasn’t paying attention when his mother asked if nuttybutter-walnut ice cream had nuts in it. Same with internships. I could make a million mistakes and then shrug my shoulders and be like “sorry, I’m just an intern, I didn’t know that pressing backspace would delete a year’s worth of work.” Read More »

Take a break, dude. You deserve it!

Part of the reason I write a Weekly 10 is because I’m paying homage to my man David Letterman (seriously, my dad hasn’t ever missed an episode), and partly it’s because I like lists. Particularly lists where I can prattle on about whatever issue I feel is super relevant. Ya know, like how I’m just not that into you or being super fabulously sober.

This week I’ve decided to list the 10 jobs that totally deserve to sleep in past noon this Monday, Labor Day. Why is it even called Labor Day? Shouldn’t it be Not-Labor Day? But I digress. Some people deserve a break for all they do/deal with on a daily basis. I don’t have the power to give it to them, but maybe they’ll note my appreciation and hook me up in the future.

So here are the people both on and off campus that totally deserve the holiday and our respect on this last official day of summer. Read More »

Could a 4-day work week be in your future?

Looks like rehab doesn’t work for Kirsten Dunst.

5 super foods you can find in the dining hall.

Who robbed Lindsay Lohan?

12 tips for relationship bliss.

Anne Heche gets bitter on Letterman.

There are certain times when any woman can preserve the right to be a bitch (like when she’s curled up in bed with a heating pad on her ovaries). But instead, try being bold rather than bitchy. It is so much classier then going all Regina George on someone just because they piss you off.

You know those times when that little monster inside of you just wants to lash out? Well, here are some bold (and bitchy counterpart) responses to ease the inner bitch while still putting someone in their place.

You go girl.

Someone Cuts You in Line
Bitchy: Get the f out of my way, you line cutting ho.
Bold: Excuse me? I believe I was here first, but feel free to get in line behind me.

Someone Macks on Your Man
Bitchy: Back off before I go Jerry Springer on you. HE’S MY MAN.
Bold: I appreciate the compliment of you admiring my man, but he is taken…. by me. (Smiley aggressively)

Someone Tries to Steal Your Idea at Work
Bitchy: Isn’t it funny how that idea wasn’t yours at all, but my idea? I think our boss will also think it’s funny. When I tell him. RIGHT NOW, bitch.
Bold: I find it interesting that your “idea” was so similar to my input and original thought. I guess, in the future, I won’t collaborate with you at all. Read More »

Rainy weather in New York really sucks. I know that rain sucks wherever you live, but I’ve come to the conclusion that the Big Apple is probably the city that is least conducive to rainstorms. As all of you east-coasters probably remember, it rained, thundered, lightning, misted – you get the drift – every day in June. Then July rolled around and we thought the horrendous weather was over, until yesterday.

I was commuting from New Jersey, and my mom generously offered to drive me to the bus stop. I tumbled out of the car with my paper bag lunch in hand only to trip over the slippery sidewalk, causing my three hard-boiled eggs (don’t hate) to fall out and smush together on the street. Accident #1. On the bus, I began to apply my makeup and things were going smoothly until the bus driver stopped short (why does everyone forget how to drive on the highway when there’s a little water on their windshield??), and mascara was dragged across my cheek and nose. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like T&A jobs!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

It’s generally frowned upon, many companies have policies against it, but the fact of the matter is when you put a bunch of people together in the same space day after day there’s a fair chance that some of them are going to start dating. But is it OK to get it on with a co-worker or are the bosses right about inter-office hanky-panky?

On the one hand, it makes sense to date someone you work with – you share the same schedule, you know the same people, you probably do a lot of the same things, and odds are you have at least a few interests in common that led you both to work there. Plus, you see them every day, you get to know them pretty well and he’s always dressed for work, so you never have to see him in the stained sweatpants your ex refused to throw out.  Read More »

If your summer has been characterized by commuting to and from your internship site, I’m sure that we can sympathize with one another. And if you have been trying to avoid your commute by staying with friends/boyfriends/girlfriends so that you don’t need to go home and actually deal with commuting, I can sympathize with you more.

Issues always seem to arise when you’re traveling back and forth (from New York to New Jersey in my case), hopping on buses and trains, and trying to figure out how to spend the night at your boyfriend’s and have the appropriate clothing and necessities for work the next day. (Walk of shame to your dorm room in last night’s theme party get up = embarrassing. Walk of shame to the office in yesterday’s outfit = unacceptable.) I had the unfortunate fate of staying in the city one Thursday night and donning a skintight American Apparel jersey dress, which I then had to wear to work the next day. I was already running late and had no time (or $$$) to buy a cover-up before work, and I spent the day hiding from everyone in my office.

To ensure that you’ll always be prepared as your job starts to make your life more hectic, and to help you make use of those hours spent in transport, read on: Read More »

Ahh summer time. The heat is blistering, the Natty Lite is chilled and the pool beckons. For those of us not taking summer classes, these three months are a glorious break from homework, studying and fluorescent lighting. Yes, the whole summer yawns out blue skies and cut-offs until late August and it’s hard to imagine ever going back to school.

Except, I do imagine it. I catch myself worrying about non-existent assignments and responsibilities that won’t resume until September. But even more, I constantly find myself spacing out at work, reminiscing about all the good stuff that comes along with college. Mostly the whole not-bored-at-work-9-to-5 thing.

And I miss it!

Meal Plans: While I’m lucky enough not to be taking classes this summer, I do have to work — which means I’m stuck in a college town all summer long without the benefit of visiting home, and therefore the benefit of home cookin’. My freshman year, I ate dining hall food. My sophomore year, my sorority dues included a meal plan. This summer, with my sorority house closed and the dining halls freshmen-infested, I’m armed only with my apartment’s kitchen and whatever the hell I find when I Google “easy, cheap, healthy recipes” and pudding. Do I enjoy learning to cook? Absolutely. Would I prefer a cook to prepare my meals? Uh, hell yes. Plus, there’s no clean up if you’re not the one using all the dishes… Read More »

Last spring, I was gearing up to graduate and was waiting for the job offers to come rolling in. Instead, the only opportunity that came my way was a summer internship. At the time, I was making plenty of money waiting tables, but I knew that the added experience of an internship would add to my credentials– even if it meant taking a pay cut. So I moved to upstate New York to a place that was a five-hour drive from everyone I would care to visit.

When I first got there, I quickly realized that this job sucked. My boss, the woman who had hired me, misinformed me when I had inquired about the hours, the workload, and the learning potential of the position during my interview. However, by the end of August, when it was time to pack up and move on, I realized I had just had one of the best summers of my life.

Before I go into the ways that you, too, can make the most of your summer internship, let me explain why mine was so terrible. I had been hired by a nonprofit regional theater company as an administrative intern for their summer season. As an English major who was trying to break into theater, that sounded right up my alley when my boss had described my duties. However, when I arrived, I quickly learned that the majority of my time would be spent serving as assistant house manager — ripping tickets and listening to patrons bitch for 8 shows a week. Read More »