If only you could snap your fingers Sabrina-the-Teenage-Witch style and have your workout completed and your body looking Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition ready.

Well God is great, but he’s not that nice. Instead, he leaves us messages and makes us feel a little guilty, like the other day when I was waiting for my nails to dry (instead of working out) and I found this pamphlet next to the drying station: “14 Tips and Tricks for Looking Great in Your Swimsuit.” I flipped through the list, somehow managing not to smudge a nail, and now I will share these really great tips with you. (Don’t thank me, thank God. God or the nice Vietnamese people who placed these pamphlets on their drying station).

Brought to you by “Pilatesyourway.com”

1. Mix strength training with cardio. You aren’t going to get Madonna’s arms if you just run every day. Adding a little weight training into your routine (be it with pilates, yoga, or actually lifting some weights) will help you tone all the right extremities and – bonus! – muscle burns more calories than fat. Woo hoo!

2. Don’t eat 2-3 hours before bed. This is by far the hardest rule for college students. Um, my roommate and I have Jimmy John’s and Coldstone on speed dial. But your metabolism slows down when you sleep (Translation: eating pizza/brownies at 2am is much worse than eating those same foods at 7pm), so you may really want to try this little tip out.

3. Eat Breakfast…ALWAYS. (Or if you sleep till noon like me, eat soon after waking up.) Experts say your breakfast will not only keep you from binging later (avoiding the problem in numero dos), but it will kick start your metabolism for the day. Breakfast should include protein (think eggs) and complex carbohydrates (oatmeal, Kashi cereal, whole grain toast).

4. Eat regularly throughout the day. Going Rachel Zoe “I only drink Venti Starbucks teas. OMG, I die! (Literally.)” style won’t help your figure. When you don’t eat, your body thinks you are starving and begins to store fat as a means of survival. The more often you eat, the more adapted your metabolism is to working at burning everything up.

5. Exercise correctly. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen people at the gym doing crunches so wrong. There is a reason your 1,000 crunches a day aren’t producing abs like Kara DioGuardi’s. You aren’t doing it right!!! Set up a one-on-one appointment with a trainer in your gym to make sure you’re doing everything the right way. Oftentimes, they’ll provide these for free, so ask!

6. Eat fat to lose fat. Your body needs fat, plain and simple. It helps your immune system; makes your hair, skin and nails healthy; and so much more. Make sure to incorporate some healthy fats into your diet every day. Choose olive oil, nuts, avocado or nut butters.

7. Variety in exercise. The same 45 minute stint on the elliptical will stop challenging your body and will decrease results. Keep your muscles guessing by switching it up each day (and keep your mind guessing by putting your iPod on shuffle). Try running on the treadmill one day, add a little stationary bike into the mix, try a kick boxing class once a week. Just shake things up a bit (literally and figuratively).

8. Enjoy yourself. Impossible you say? Not so! Run outside, swim, kick box, dance, etc. Just find something you like to do. You are more likely to continue an exercise program if it’s something you enjoy doing. Duh.

9. Drink lots and lots and lots of water. 8 glasses a day is recommended for the average Joe (or Josie),  but if you exercise (or, ahem, drink) you need to up that number. Even being mildly dehydrated radically affects how your body performs.

10. Set exercise appointments with yourself. We have all been there: “I’ll go in an hour” and somehow that hour turns into 6 hours later and you are still on your butt watching the American’s Next Top Model marathon (even though you’ve seen all these episodes 3 times) and your workout has gone out the window. If you make a set time to do it each day and make working out part of your schedule (like class and student groups), you will follow through.

11. Eat a lot of protein. Protein helps your body recover and repair after a workout. Upping your protein intake will decrease your soreness and will help result in a longer and leaner body. Ideas include: a few slices of turkey after a workout, a hard boiled egg, or pick up a Magic Bullet (Editor’s Note: BEST. PURCHASE. EVER!) and make your own protein shakes.

12. At the start of a fitness plan, do not be overly aggressive. You will hurt. A lot. You are more likely to stay motivated if you slowly build. Start small – just get moving!

13. Limit your alcohol consumption. Um, okay, so maybe wait till after graduation to follow this one. But really, alcohol not only leads to late night eating (and beer goggles, but that’s a whole different post), it also doesn’t require digestion – the carbs and dietary fats in your favorite vodka tonic are changed into body fat in minutes. Minutes! Such a depressing fact, I know.

14. Always stretch. Stretching improves blood flow, flexibility and muscle recovery. And it feels so, so, so good. Just keep in mind: 1) you should hold each stretch for 20 seconds to get the benefits, 2) you should never force a stretch – only go as far as you can comfortably, and 3)  NEVER bounce. Ever. Ever ever. It is bad for those muscles!

Alright, so now that I’ve done my duty of passing on these tips it’s really about time that I get back to that America’s Next Top Model marathon. I kid, I kid.

Well, sorta. I’m gonna watch it… just on the treadmill.

If teen magazines are to be believed, from January to June, there’s exactly one thing on every female high school student’s mind: prom. Or should I say: ~~*OMG PROM!!@! Only writing out the word like that can give it the respect it deserves.

According to sources like Seventeen, CosmoGirl (now only a website—RIP, CG!), and even classier options like Teen Vogue, prom is the absolute apex of a teenage girl’s existence. The big night apparently requires months of preparation and planning: who’s your date going to be? What are you going to wear? Can you get your dad to spring for a limo? Are you going to lose your virginity, or your dignity, or both? How will you resist the pressure to drink at the after parties? (… Because obviously, nobody ever voluntarily drinks alcohol in high school.)

I know what you’re probably thinking right now: “This is a website for women in college! Why is this stupid blogger talking about something that we all experienced years ago? I can barely remember my own prom. Sure, it seemed really important at the time, and I guess I had fun, but it definitely wasn’t actually the biggest night of my life.”

And that’s exactly my point. Prom fever, frankly, is totally ridiculous. Which makes it a prime topic for this column—because our culture inexplicably imbues this event with so much significance (can you think of a major teen movie that doesn’t end with a prom scene?), any articles that focus on prom are inevitably going to be teeming with Bad Advice for women, if you can call HS seniors “women.” That’s because there’s literally no reason any girl should make such a BFD out of prom in the first place.

But the most egregiously bad prom advice I’ve come across stands in a class of its own. It’s a specialized website on seventeen.com called the “Prom Dress Workout Finder.” The point of the site? To determine what kind of exercises you should be doing so that you don’t look like a big ‘ole cow in your dress of choice, no matter what style it is.

See, if you’re wearing a backless dress, you need to do a move called “The Usher,” according to Seventeen Trainer Jenna Philips in this workout video. But if you’re wearing a minidress, says trainer Jessica Smith, you have to do a different exercise to target your thighs. God help you if your dress is short and you’ve mistakenly been doing The Usher anyway. Probably, your date will end up dumping a bucket of blood on you or something.

It’s bad enough that girls are tricked into buying into the whole prom industry in the first place—but now they’re supposed to perform special exercise routines for the sole purpose of looking nice on a night that, truth be told, is probably going to end with their best friend throwing up on their shoes? There are plenty of great reasons to try to stay fit, but doing it in order to squeeze yourself into a certain dress is not one of them. I wish I could say that I expected better form you, Seventeen… but if I did, I’d be lying. Just like I did when I told my mom I’d be spending the night of prom at my best friend’s house.

Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month

I am quite possibly the least athletic person you will ever meet.

When I was 12, my mother asked me not to run in public. “It’s embarrassing,” she said. “There’s something about the way you run that’s just…weird.”

Once I started college, my friends quickly diagnosed my problem: I run like a dinosaur.

Here’s why: When I was 4, I started taking Irish dancing lessons. Yes, like Riverdance. And in Irish dancing, you’re not allowed to move your arms—they have to stay straight at your sides. So when it came time to run, I didn’t know what to do with my arms. With no better ideas, I just pulled them up by my armpits and “took flight.”

Add in some exercise-induced asthma and a fear of flying sports equipment and it’s clear that I was never meant to be an athlete.

I’ve been accused of being lazy, of not really trying, of not being committed enough to get in shape. But I know that’s not it. In elementary school, when the rest of the class couldn’t play on the playground until the last person was done running the mile, I remember trying so hard to finish so my classmates wouldn’t hate me (fourth graders are fickle, fickle creatures). If the anger of my peers wasn’t enough to push me to physical fitness, I don’t know what is.

A few months ago, I made a promise to myself to change all this. But just like every time before, it didn’t last. I went to one Pilates class on campus and worked out with the ROTC guys one morning, but nothing stuck. So, as a challenge to myself, I’m going to use the next four weeks to show you (and myself) that I CAN do this—that I CAN find a fitness plan that works for me, that I enjoy, and that I can stick to in the future. I know I’m not going to become a fitness guru or a triathlete overnight, and I accept that for most of the month, this is really going to suck. I’m going to be sore and crabby and exhausted and too busy to fit a workout into my schedule (and you’re going to hear all about it).

But along the way, I’ll be looking for fun ways to get fit for those of us who aren’t so athletically inclined. I’m sick of videos like this that were clearly not created with people like me in mind. And while I’m sure I’ll find plenty of awkward, clumsy moments along the way (and share them with you, of course), I’ll keep trying new things until I find something that might help us all.

(If that’s not enough motivation, check out this video. Then imagine a person running like that. Yes, I really do need help.)

OK her belly button is scary, but look at those muscles!

My morning ritual consists of a tall cup of coffee, a scroll through the New York Times and turning on the first ten minutes of Live with Regis and Kelly to see what Kelly Ripa is wearing for the day.

Or, more realistically, how hot and toned she looks in whatever she’s wearing for the day.

It was hard not to notice Kelly Ripa whip herself into the best shape of her life almost instantly two years ago. She had always looked good, but suddenly her body looked insane. In a good way. I wanted to know her secrets. I longed for the formula to her suddenly sculpted arms and her six pack abs. Every time I saw her on the cover of a magazine, I scooped it up, hoping to solve the mystery to Kelly’s perfect bod.

And then I discovered it: Physique 57.

Just six months ago, this 57-minute routine could only be found on 57^th street in New York City for nearly $30 a class. This summer, though, the creators of this intense body weight training workout released three DVDs: the classic 57-minute workout, the 30-minute full body express and the abs and arms booster. Obviously, trusting Ripa’s testimonies, I immediately coughed up the cash. Three days later, I was sweating, burning, and working my way to my very own Kelly Ripa body.

Now I am an active girl who likes a challenge and I swear that these workouts are no joke. Every time I push “play” a new part of my body is left feeling the burn, never fully feeling like I have mastered the program. A mixture of body weight training, cardiovascular exercise and a process called “interval overload,” this 57-minute workout will have your thighs shaking and your abs begging for mercy from the very beginning. No joke, these three total body toning workouts are the key to whittling that waist and transforming your body for the better.

Unlike other workouts (both on DVD and even at the gym!) where I have wondered when I would feel the burn, Physique 57 keeps my crying saying, “Oh yea, I am feeling the burn,” until the very. last. minute.

I have been doing Physique 57 for three months now and I cannot talk enough about the results and how this workout changed my life for the better. My arms are sculpted like never before, my abdominals are now flatter than a cookie sheet and my shoulders and thighs are more defined than ever. It took literally one week of alternating the three workouts for me to see my waist shrinking and more muscle forming. One week! And not only do I see the results, but I feel them as well; I’m no longer winded after a run around campus or need a coffee to make it through my classes.

I am so enthralled with these videos that if the makers of Physique 57 asked me to be a testimony for their product I would jump up on a couch in a manner that would put Tom Cruise to shame (and I’d look damn good doing it!). I can speak and swear through my experience that this program will have your body doing a U-turn towards a slimmer waistline and a metabolic makeover in no time.

Robert Pattinson states the obvious.

Lady reporter poops her pants on air.

Want to tone those legs? Try some of these workouts.

Whoa! Look at Hilary Duff’s rock!

Ke$ha is no Lady Gaga.

Change that dating bad attitude!

It’s time to man up, ladies, and empower yourselves to live life without the aid of Prince Charming. Not only does this make our lives a whole lot easier (hello, do you really want to wait around for someone to jump-start your car?), but sometimes it’s safer to take matters into our own hands (instead of asking some rando to do it for us).

Here’s a rundown of the 10 things every woman must know how to do. Watch, learn and take pride in the fact that you are in total control of your destiny.

1. Change a tire: Being your own mechanic isn’t necessarily a manly thing. Whipping out that wrench and jack can save yourself some time, money and can even keep you safer. Sure, when I was forced to fix a flat I looked ridiculous – kneeling on the side of I-295 in my skirt-suit and patent stilettos – but it took me 20 minutes, saved me some big-time embarrassment and allowed me to still be on time to my interview. Don’t forget those hand wipes though; grease could be an outfit-ender.

2. Make a Roast: I’m not trying to say you have to become Suzie Homemaker, but learning some basic cooking techniques can’t do anything but help you out in the long run. You don’t want to end up like my good friend who cooked a knife right with the chicken (even if, according to her, plastic peels off of pans easily). Being able to feed yourself, no matter how rudimentary it may seem, is certainly a skill that’s worth it to perfect.

3. Rock a pair of killer heels: Maybe its one of my personal pet peeves, but I cannot STAND to see those girls who insist on wearing Spice Girl era platform heels and can’t even walk into a party without looking trashy/twisting their ankle/sighing and taking them off. A hot pair of heels is a must-have for any college wardrobe, but they’re worthless if you don’t know how to walk in them. So here’s the deal: first, buy good heels. Not only will they last you, but they will make a difference on your feet. Secondly, watch this. (And if you live on a giant campus like me, bring flip flops or some roll-up flats for the walk home.)

4. Use a power-drill: I ran into a huge predicament at the beginning of this school year. New apartment + newly framed pictures + stubborn drywall = failure. I needed some major electronic help, and it happened to come in the way a rugby player armed with a power drill. I’m a stubborn person who never likes to admit I need help, so in my embarrassment, I watched and learned intently and vowed to be able to be a little more DIY in the future. Whether it’s fixing that wobbly chair in the kitchen or mounting a corkboard above your desk, it’ll always come in handy.

5. Have an effective workout: Everybody wants the perfect body: slim legs, flat abs, great butt; the whole package. No matter how much you run or ellipticize, there are only a few things that will actually be effective. Make every minute of that painful gym experience count!

6. Basic self-defense: Channel your inner ninja. I’m not saying you have to carry a concealed machete with you everywhere you go (because that would never fit in your clutch), but making sure that you’re ready in case something ever happens is the best thing you can do.  When it comes to your safety, you can never be too prepared.

7. Create a great first impression: There’s only one first time and for most of us, this isn’t a good thing. Thankfully, somebody has got it down to a science and is here to help the rest of us mortals out.

8. Remove a hard stain: There’s nothing that ruins a good day more than knocking your sushi on the floor. Except knocking the soy sauce, too. On to your shirt… and all over your pants. Not only is it embarrassing to have a giant brown spill down the front of you, it could quickly become a permanent fixture on your favorite shirt. I’m all about the dry cleaning, but for when you can’t afford some professional help just take a quick gander at this and save yourself some green (and some embarrassment) down the road.

9. Jump start a car: We’ve all been to the epic tailgate where someone’s pickup is blaring Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” and everyone’s having a great time. Truth is, the entire time everyone’s jamming to their favorite pre-game tunes, the battery of the car is quickly draining. It’s easy for a battery to drain, and even easier for it to leave you stranded. Here are some quick pointers on how to avoid this unwanted situation and deal if it comes up.

10. Tap a Keg: A untapped keg is borderline sacrilegious. The only good thing about a kicked keg is that I can lift it with one hand, so having a quick backup plan is a must. Everyone makes tapping a keg into a huge deal, but it’s much easier than you’d expect. And when the keg stands return, you’ll be the party savior that’ll go down in history (assuming people remember…).

And there you have it. Take some time to learn these things and you won’t need a man for anything. Well, almost anything.

In honor of President’s Day, here are some tips on staying healthy and fit from  the most powerful couple in the world:

Presidential Tip #1: Always schedule time for exercise.
You know it’s important, so schedule it like everything else in your life!  You can always find ways to fit it in – Michelle used to work out at 4:30am and Barack starts most days in the gym.  Not even constant traveling deters him; during his presidential campaign, Obama’s aides “arranged workouts for him in several dozen states. The staff called gyms a few days before his arrival and persuaded them to close late or open early to oblige the candidate’s schedule.”

Gyms on campus are usually open pretty early and late, so we don’t have to worry about making special arrangements (or having assistants to do so)! Still feel like you don’t have time? Even if you’re losing a bit of precious sleep, the benefits of exercising probably outweigh the half hour of sleep you might lose (or less if you work out right!). Obama has the same problem with the “trade off  between sleep and working out,” but insists that a workout makes him feel much better throughout the day.

Presidential Tip #2: Don’t let bad habits stop you from exercising.
Did you know that Obama smokes the occasional cigarette when he’s stressed? He knows it’s unhealthy, and he’s practically quit, but sometimes he slips up. Clearly he’s not perfect, and neither are we. If our president doesn’t waste time beating himself for a bad choice every now and then and doesn’t let it deter him from continuing to try and live a healthy lifestyle, we shouldn’t either. Get out there and exercise – forgive and forget your bad habits.

Presidential Tip #3: Plan what you’re going to do beforehand.
Obama has his routine pretty set in stone – 4 days of weightlifting, 2 days of cardio. So when he gets to the gym, he knows exactly what he’s going to be doing. He’s even been spotted following exercises written on a sheet of paper. Why would we go to the gym without a presidential agenda of our own? Having a list ensures you won’t be there all day deciding which muscles to work, which cardio machine you want to use, or how many reps you should be doing. And you’ll feel much better after accomplishing the items on your list!

Presidential Tip #4: Find out what you love and use it to exercise!
Obama loves basketball. While on the campaign trail, he “got in the habit of shooting hoops with friends on the days of primary elections, and that carried over to such major events as his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention…” Clearly, exercise doesn’t have to be all treadmill and free weights. Just find out what kind of exercise you actually enjoy doing and you’ll find yourself wanting to stick with it!

Presidential Tip #5: Work out with friends.
…It’s just more fun that way! Michelle worked out in the wee hours of the morning with a friend, and Barack had some friends fly in to play basketball with him. Having workout partners keeps you motivated and accountable.

Presidential Tip #6: Eat mostly healthy, but don’t feel bad when you slip up.
Michelle’s got our backs on this one! She goes by the 90-10 rule. If 90% of the time you’re eating healthy, don’t feel bad about a relatively unhealthy 10%. The Obama’s live by this mantra – they know sometimes you need to treat yourself! To help maintain this healthy lifestyle, they keep a ton of healthy food around (such as bowls of apples) and only eat out once every few weeks.

Presidential Tip #7: Know why you exercise and let that be a natural motivation.
If you are more aware of the reasons you exercise, you’ll be more likely to continue exercising. Take out a sheet of paper and write down reasons you exercise. How do you feel during? How do you look afterwards? How do you FEEL afterwards? Obama is well aware of his reasoning. He says exercise is his “key to remaining fresh and focused in the face of a punishing schedule.” He also says he uses exercise “to clear my head and relieve me of stress.” Why do you exercise? Post it somewhere you can clearly see and let it motivate you everyday!

And there you have it – a workout fit for a President.
Seriously, if the leader of our country can find time to get fit, so can you.

The world is shocked and devastated.

Wanna buy Hooters (the restaurant, not the fun bags)?

The most obnoxious workout habits.

Don’t worry! Alec Baldwin is OK, people.

Taylor Lautner is 18!!

A real life sleeping beauty?!

“I have a paper to write, I can’t waste an hour waiting for the only elliptical that works.”
“I need to run on the treadmill for at least 45 minutes, and since I have a paper due tomorrow, that’s out of the question. I probably just shouldn’t go at all.”
“I’m not waking up at 7am to get in an hour workout before class.”

You know the deal.

I know that if I don’t clock in at least thirty minutes of cardio per session, I feel like my gym outing has been a waste and a failure. And I’m always hard on myself if I leave without doing crunches, even if I’ve run a couple of miles. In short — going to the gym has become about the time clock, but according to a study published in the New York Times, I’m going about things all wrong!

A couple of years ago, researchers from the National Institute of Health and Nutrition in Japan observed two groups of rats paddling in a small pool. The first group completed two 3-hour workout sessions, and the other group engaged in interval training, moving for twenty seconds and then resting for ten seconds for a total of 14 reps. The scientists were trying to figure out if prolonged exercise did more for the body’s endurance (ie., your ability to work out for longer, which translates into more calories burned) than the shorter/quicker exercise method. They found that both groups exhibited the same molecular changes that correspond with endurance gain, coming to the conclusion that we might be working out for longer than we really need to.

“There was a time when the scientific literature suggested that the only way to achieve endurance was through endurance-type activities,” Dr. Martin Gibala, a professor at McMaster University in Ontario, told the Times. He explained that people often choose to exercise casually for hours instead of just exerting as much energy as possible for a shorter amount of time. “We describe it as an ‘all-out’ effort,” Gibala said, noting that it is the kind of exercise that often forces people “out of their comfort zone.” While Gibala’s team has only studied this method for swimmers and cyclists, he believes that it might prove true for runners as well.

Gibala says that this method – pushing yourself to your limit for a shorter period of time – might aid in weight loss in addition to contributing to increased endurance in athletes and ordinary gym-goers alike. “The rate of energy expenditure remains higher longer into recovery,” meaning that you might continue to burn calories for a longer period of time after you leave the gym.

Less time at the gym?
More calories burned and increased endurance?

Put away the clocks and timers and get moving!

I see the new Massachusetts Senator without his underpants.

Fitness for the snowed in!

Conan gets a little revenge on NBC.

Anyone ever try one of these??

No more plastic surgery for Heidi.

Mischa Barton can’t act. Just ask Stabler!