The stock market is low. Really effing low. The lowest it’s been in a long ass time.

And people are freaking out.

So, in an effort to ease people’s minds, George Bush spoke. He interrupted my morning dose of Ellen Degeneres for about 7 minutes to explain what is going on and how the US Government is going to fix it. But that 7 minutes can be summed up in 2 simple sentences:

Things are bad – we caused the economy to decline worldwide – but they are going to get better. Just chill the eff out.

So, let’s relax, people. Forget about your money in the bank, your student loans, and the fact that you can’t afford your Easy Mac. Grab a bottle of your favorite (cheap) vodka, kick back on your couch and chillax.

Everything is gonna be ok!

According to the World Bank, global food prices have increased by 75% since 2005 and 45% in the last nine months. In the past two months, the cost of rice, a staple food for over half of the world’s population, rose by 75%. The price of wheat has risen 120% during the past year.

Deadly protests and rioting over these increasing costs are occurring throughout Africa and Asia.

In Haiti, where 80% of the population survives on less than $2 a day, mass demonstrations turned deadly. Rioting in Les Cayes killed 4 and wounded at least 20. A few days later Haitians attempted to storm the presidential palace in Port-au- Prince shouting “We are hungry!”

In Egypt, where over 33% of the population live on around $2 a day, police took over a textiles plant to prevent a widespread strike over rising food costs. The military has been enlisted to bake bread to curb the growing anger. Read More »