Finals are coming, which means we are spending every waking moment trying to learn all those things we should have been learning all semester. We have only taken one break so far, which led to a drink, then five drinks, then a total late night pizza binge.

But Psych 350 and English 125 aren’t the only things we’ve learned this week (mostly because we still haven’t gotten through a quarter of the material yet):

We learned that you can be friends after sex, that you can be warm and chic, and that French men are the ones to go for.

We learned that jumping rope is the best calorie burner, that there is a big difference between dating undergrads and grad students, and that guys think hot girl models are intimidating, too.

We learned that the Big 3 automakers are totally screwed, that the best way to pay for school is by getting a sugar daddy, and that a guy’s condom preference says a lot about his character.

We also learned that 4th graders know more about dating than college boys, that we can put abortions on our wish lists this year and that lots of guys fear commitment.

We even learned how to make soup!

Whew. No wonder there is no room left in our brains for all that boring Psych shiz.

Ever have one of those weeks when you are so crazy busy you don’t even have time to realize how tired you are? Yeah, that’s how we feel right now.

We spent our week planning our Halloween costume, trying not to die from our Birth Control (not that we need it, considering how long we’ve been single), trying to understand the purpose of a threesome, avoiding scary movies, attempting to get our awful roommate to move out, and trying to find the perfect sweater dress for fall.

Ugh. Even our Hump Day was stressful with both the big presidential debate and the season finale of Project Runway on at the same time.

It’s a good thing we learned a few beauty tricks to fix those undereye circles; otherwise, we would have looked like one hot mess.

Thankfully it’s Friday, which means lots of time to r-e-l-a-x. We just aren’t sure which way is better: a few yoga classes, or a bird poop facial??

Today is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday. That means the stock exchange is closed, which also means that the economy can’t crash for 2 whole days! Wahoo! Grab you’re your favorite snacks (fat is in!) and celebrate!

That is the best news we’ve heard all week, but that isn’t saying much after the week we’ve had:

Gay rights activists get locked out of a campus, a**holes continued to break girls’ hearts, celebs got all cocky on us, Joe Six Pack made an appearance, the presidential candidates “debated,” we had to watch Rachael Ray porn, Bubba had some transgender issues, our boyfriend posted that (PRIVATE) sex tape online, and I missed out on a fantastic opportunity to get with my campus’s most notorious man-whore.

But don’t worry; Barack Obama can make it all better! (No, that was not a political statement…that was a sexual one.)

Happy Friday, peeps.

This was a strange week. Really strange.

“First my mom (and a whole bunch of old people) joined Facebook. Then I find out that women don’t orgasm during sex, TRL decides to close its doors, dudes like having sex when their lady is on the rag and Hugh Hefner lost one of his ladies to a magician?

Sarah Palin’s email was hacked into.

I had some plastic thing shoved into my baby maker.

My friend got a man and I got jealous.

Is it a full moon or something?

I definitely need a drink, but do I go to a house party for free booze, or the bar for a better scene? Or maybe I shouldn’t even get dolled up and stay home to bake a pie with rum instead.

Hm. The pie isn’t a good idea, especially since I only pretend to work out and I want to make sure to fit into some awesome new runway inspired duds. And maybe the bar isn’t a good idea either, considering the future of my wallet is totally unknown.

I’ll just have my boys pick up a 30 pack. Pure bliss.