Mmmm sperm!

So apparently all those frat guys during my last four years of university had it right all along – sperm really does have many health benefits.  A Norwegian company called Bioforskning (which sounds like the owner may have had a mouthful of something when she was asked to name the company) has developed a facial treatment to minimize wrinkles and smooth skin utilizing spermine, an element in human sperm.

Human. Sperm. WTF??

First of all, let’s just sit back and appreciate the thought process that had to have gone into this product.  Who came up with it?  Who was sitting around and thinking, “Oh you know what, I bet jizz is really good for your skin, let me test this out and then sell it for hundreds of dollars”??  I tell you what, when sperm is that close to my face, my skin care routine is usually the last thing on my mind.  The first thing?  “Argh, point that thing somewhere else!”

Secondly, this “treatment” can cost up to $250 per session.  Seriously? What happened to the days when jizz on your face was an unhappy accident after a night of too many free (and probably warm) beers in the basement of a fraternity house on the side of campus you usually avoid? And instead of thinking, “Oh hey, I should probably let this sink into my skin and give it a second to see if it does anything beneficial,” weren’t we all (those of us who were “blessed” enough to be in the beta stages of this beauty regimen) thinking, “Where’s my face wash??”

Although Botox and  plastic surgery get a lot of flack, I feel a bit more warm to the idea of someone injecting pig fat or whatever it is into my face now that I know a sperm facial (didn’t that use to be a euphemism for something?) is the alternative treatment.  At any rate, I hope this development doesn’t leak to those frat guys (or really, any sexually active male), otherwise this fall’s crop of freshman girls have a whole new thing coming to them (all puns intended).

Back in the day when Speedo one-pieces were cool, I had no interest in tanning. Although I fought through “sunscreen smear down” sessions with my mom, my skin was still, for the most part, shielded from the sun all summer long. It wasn’t until my friends started wearing bikinis and lots of Hawaiian tropic, that my Irish complexion got it’s first taste of sunburn. I quickly realized that getting the perfect tan wasn’t really in the cards for me…well unless I wanted to look like a leather handbag years later.

It’s scary how many times my skin has peeled, even blistered. I’ve accumulated many freckles, and one of them could easily be cancerous. At least that’s what I hear. Freckles appearing after a sunburn have been associated with an increased risk of melanoma skin cancer – the fatal kind. And even worse, it’s been estimated that nearly half of all Americans who live to age 65 will develop skin cancer at least once, according to MedicineNet.com.

Clearly we are all guilty of neglecting our skin for vanity’s sake. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy that bronzed glow? But ten, fifteen years from now, we’ll be kicking ourselves when the wrinkles, blotchy sun spots or melanoma develop.

So what can we do now to prevent further sun damage? Read More »

So yesterday I got my first sunburn of the year. (At least, I think it’s a sunburn – it may also be a result of my drunken face-plant…) Honestly, though, I’m not gonna complain ’cause Syracuse hasn’t seen the sun in months. I am, however, going to dust off the sun products that have been under my bed for the past 8 months.

If you want to prevent painful burns, wrinkles, sunspots and , most importantly, cancer, you really need to remember to preserve your skin. And preserving your skin means more than slopping on some SPF 4 when you lay at the beach. The sun can harm your skin at any time, so learn from my burned mistake (I was drinkin’ a beer outside) and protect yourself.

Below are some makeup products that include SPF built right in! I’m not suggesting this is a substitute for using sunscreen, but if you’re just going outside quickly, or want to add some extra protection you gotta try these great finds. Unless, of course, you want to look like this when you’re 30. Read More »

Should Greg Paulus switch teams and head to Michigan?

Miranda Tozier-Robbins can’t seem to leave Britney alone.

Don’t let the recession put a wrinkle in your beauty budget.

Dina Lohan takes credit for Lindsay’s video.

Oprah Tweets!

Have an endless summer in your own backyard.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And in the game of Bad Habits, you will always come out a loser. As I laid in a tanning bed, I thought about how this bad habit was going to affect me in the long run. Even though I love the immediate benefits of this vice (golden, sun-kissed skin!), I can’t help but worry about my future as a leather-skinned freak. Is the bronze skin of today worth the skin cancer of tomorrow? Let’s examine the dangerous games we play and weigh whether the consequences are worth the benefits:

Tanning

Why We Do It: I am addicted to the healthy glow I get from taking a 20 minute nap in my favorite tanning bed! I feel more relaxed, have less acne, and generally feel less self-conscious. When I’m feeling confident, I can stand up straighter, smile bigger, and show off my legs without feeling embarrassed. I feel like confidence enhances my life and I don’t want to go through my heyday without it. Read More »

[Welcome to my Weekly Love List, a list on all things I love. Because if I love them, well, obviously you should love them too. As the Backstreet Boys song says (and yes, I am actually quoting them) “My Love is All I Have To Give.” So with that throwback, here are this week’s list-worthy things…]

1. Dolce Vita “Ellie” Sandal. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the ankles to wear them. Maybe it’s because it’s currently -5 outside and I would give my left foot to wear them (literally). But either way I love these bad boys….

2. MyPublisher.com. So, a while ago I told you about my love for Shutterfly and their photo books. Well, ladies, I’ve found the Louboutins of photo albums. Mypublisher.com turns your books into coffee table books. And I am convinced there is NO better coffee table book than one filled with your most treasured pics. Think about it: when was the last time your coffee table books were more than just dust/shot glass collectors? Or, more importantly, when was the last time you even had a coffee table book? (Aren’t those tables supposed to be danced on?) Now here is a coffee table book worth l-o-v-ing. Read More »

The Botox and face-injecting craze has gone too far in Hollywood, and possibly in your own dermatologist’s chair. It seems like a super idea when you’re under the bright light and the doc has you mesmerized about all the ways she can make you look “better.” Listen up ladies, everyone knows where those wrinkles once outlined your mouth, so stop trying to hide them.

Botox is the second most popular prescription drug, after Viagara, and women have become addicted to the procedure. Lisa Rinna, former Melrose Place star, told In Touch that after seeing pictures of herself she realized she has gone “too far” with her surgical procedures. Ya think? She looks like a mannequin who can’t smile or blink. Freak! We all know the other celebs who are rumored to have the procedure done frequently, like Cher, Sly Stallone, Courtney Cox, Joan Rivers, Nicole Kidman, and the list goes on and on and on.

Caution: There are dangers out there! Botox isn’t something that should be debated over mildly. Here a few facts to help you in your debate to be stuck with the needle or not.

• In a recent study, an active Botox toxin was injected into rats and after 72 hours the toxin was found in the rats’ brain. This is scary, especially since the toxin broke down proteins and caused damage in the brain!
• The same toxin injected in the rats, botulinum toxin, has been found in humans who receive Botox injections and it spread to other parts of the body which has resulted in paralysis of respiratory muscles and difficulty swallowing.
• Please know that the side effects have been reported as early as one day and as late as several weeks after treatment.
• There were 16 deaths prior to January 2008. Enough said.
• There are also minor side effects, like dizziness, rashes, bruising, tiredness, headache, stiffness, etc.
• Do not rush into any decisions. Have a consultation with the dermatologist and then go home and think about the procedure. Do your research!

Like most ladies, the way my face looks is pretty important to me. I like to minimize bright red zits, reduce the black circles under my eyes after a long night at the ‘brary, and generally not look like a 45 year old woman at the ripe old age of 22.

And like most ladies I load up on every product that will keep my face looking fresh, clean and daaaamn good.

But according to a recent article in The New York Times, most ladies are pretty dumb for buying into all that facial cream mumbo jumbo.

No matter how smart we are, we all want to believe that a skin cream can fix all of our problems. Yes, even relationship issues. And it doesn’t hurt when the beauty companies throw scientific terms into the mix, furthering our beliefs that this product is different, and that one really will work!

But if what all the experts in this article say is true, we could get the same effect from a wash cloth and some basic soap that we would get from purchasing a $40 bottle of “rejuvinating night cream.” The same goes for all those “cellular level cleansers,” “biomolecular” eyecreams, and that “microsmoothing” face serum. Read More »

From frat parties to late nights at the bar, power hours to beer pong tournaments, living the college lifestyle can really take it’s toll on your body. Hangovers are a bitch, you can feel your pants getting snug and all those unidentified bruises really don’t go with your collection of sundresses.

And don’t forget about your face.

Those dark circles under your eyes. The wrinkles from all that smoking (first or secondhand!).

Ugh. Partying is not a pretty thing. But what are you supposed to do….stop? Ha! You are no quitter, sister. What is the point of having a pretty face if you can’t take it out on the town? On the other hand, though, if your face is heading downhill now imagine what it is gonna look like in 20 years!

What to do, what to do…. Read More »

As soon as summer announces itself with its warm winds and bright, shiny mornings, I want to lay out and bake in the sun. Nothing feels quite like floating in a pool – book in one hand, ice cold beverage in the other – absorbing those delicious rays. And nothing looks quite as good with almost every article of summer clothing than some nice, tan legs.

I am fully aware that skin cancer is scary business and not worth the fake-baking/laying out for hours on end. I also have a pretty healthy fear of getting wrinkley in the future, so, to protect myself, I wear my sunscreen. But I recently realized that maybe sunscreen wasn’t enough, and getting my glow a different way may be a better option.

I started investigating.

My former roommate loved sprays, but I personally don’t trust myself with them. I am mildly OCD and need a lotion to ensure I’m not missing anything. I went on a quest to find the perfect lotion and came across a new product: Jergens Natural Glow Express. It looked just like the rest, except that it claimedto show results in 3 days. Conveniently, I was heading on vacation in 3 days, so I grabbed it. Read More »