Move over, Danica Patrick!

Have you heard? Everyone’s favorite Guidette has got herself a new career!

According to out friends over at PopEater, Snooki will be facing off against WWE’s Michelle McCool and Layla in Wrestlemania XXVII. (Watch her wrestling warm-up here.)

Everyone knows Snooki can hold her own in a fight. Her Jersey Shore showdowns have proven that much, but this is a whole new level of smackdown for our Snooki. Can she handle it? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean she should.  If I’m being  honest, this is not her best idea. (And that includes the whole NYE ball drop disaster.) Snooki may be cut out for bar brawls but not for wrestlemania. But if she is really looking for a “career change”, you know away from the blossoming career she’s had as a reality TV star, I’ve got a few other options for her.

1. A race car driver. Does Snooki even have a driver’s license? I’m not sure. But if she doesn’t she can get one. If only so she can wear one of those racing outfits. In leopard print. I’d just really like to see nothing but that poof popping up over top of the steering wheel.

2. A cleaning lady. Not the most glamorous job, sure. But after that episode a few weeks ago when she tackled that toilet with liquid soap I just know that Snooki has a knack for house cleaning. The faces she makes, the sound of her screeches, and her attempts to tell the difference between Lysol and Clorox Cleanup would just be a plus.

3. A bouncer. Now that we know Snooki can handle herself in a fight, I think a bouncer would be great job for her. She’d get to work in a club, wear the same outfits,  and listen to the same music.  I mean, she could work at Karma. And when the night is over she could grab one of the guys she kicked out and take him home to get it in.

If you missed The Biggest Loser tonight, then you missed one group of fat evil people belittling everyone else. Imagine the OC with a morbidly obese cast.

Heba Salama (a female Jaba the hut), Brady Vilcan and Vicky Vilcan (die bitch!) are three of the meanest, most evil fatties I have ever seen in my life. I would be pissy too if that was my name was Vicky Vilcan – sound like a bad WWE wrestling name. Season after season, week after week, I have watched this show and there has always been a commeradery among participants. Of course it is a game and there will always be some animosity, but I never imagined it would turn into this. Literally, other people on the show were driven to tears by the Terrible Three. But then it came to me, they are not bitter and angry because they are fat – they are fat because they are bitter and angry.

To make matters worse, Ed Salama coming back into the game makes them now the Fat Foursome. As if the shows ratings weren’t suffering enough from the evil alliance, they have just lost one more.

The Biggest Loser – you have lost me. I am done. Please accept my resignation. Some producer thought it would be a great idea to posture the mean fatties against the desparate-to-lose-weight fatties, and it has back fired. Not sure whether NBC thought the Jerry Springer demographic was one that they needed to tap into, but I am a part of about 30 girls at UPENN who are revolting. The show is no longer a motivation, but another trashy, bitter, reality TV show.

Brady was eliminated, which was nice – but too little too late. So sad.

There’s usually some sort of bustle on the floor in my dorm on Monday nights. My roommate’s focus is Top Chef, while my friend Allison used to be utterly devoted to Prison Break (she dropped it in favor of Pushing Daisies, which should be back soon!). Heroes used to be playing in at least three rooms on our meager 9-room floor. But my girlfriend and I, from 9 until about 11 (sometimes 11:05 or even 11:10), are otherwise occupied. All year ‘round. What on earth could we be watching that doesn’t end the season at some point?

Wrestling. Monday Night Raw, specifically.

I used to watch wrestling and play the games with my cousin. I didn’t really get into it a whole lot; I though everyone looked kind of weird, aside from that Shawn Michaels dude. Okay, he was kind of weird too, but not like Hulk Hogan weird. I liked The Rock, too; he made me laugh. But I didn’t watch anything regularly. I only watched it with my cousin when I was over at his house and it was on, or he wanted to show me a VHS (throwback!) or something similar. My mom HATED wrestling and wouldn’t let me watch it at home, even if I wanted to.

I dropped out of the WWE (then WWF, but changed because the real WWF threw a hissy fit. I still think it’s be great to throw the Rock and a panda in a steel cage match together) for a pretty long time once I stopped hanging with my cousin. It wasn’t until I came to college that the girl who was then just my good friend somehow managed to get me to watch Raw. Read More »