Seriously. Growing up with two brothers, I was always jealous of how quickly and easily they could rid themselves of their Yoo-Hoo juice boxes. I tried it a few times (I can’t believe I’m admitting this), but it was far from a success. Unless you consider washing the bathmat and changing my pants a success.

My desire for the speediness peeing standing up allowed only intensified with each passing bathroom line at a party. I attempted to use the men’s room many times – because there is never a line there – but the weird looks and disgusting floors became just too much for me. So I stopped. And I waited in line like a lady while my fellow squatters took their sweet ass time.

It is infuriating, boring and a total buzz kill. But it looks like it may be a problem no longer. Ladies, we can finally pee like the boys do.

Sarah Dillon, who is now officially my hero, created a product that allows women to go #1 without wasting all that time sittin’ down. It was originally created to help older women who were unable to sit due to knee or hip surgery, but she realized that younger and agile women could benefit from it too.

Now, instead of wasting all that time pulling down those tight jeans (or worse, tights), covering the seat in TP, sittin’ down and doing your thing, then squeezing back into your pants, you can simply whip this thing out and pee on your feet. Well, not literally on your feet, but you know what I’m saying.

The Go-Girl is cheap ($4.99), sterile, compact (fits in your purse!), and can be reused…if you really want to. Oh, and it’s pink. Tres chic!

The bathroom was the final frontier for bridging the gender gap and it we are finally there. And just in time, too. My birthday party is coming up and I do not want to waste any time at the bar standing in line.

With all the crazy sh*t happening in the world today, we here at CC can’t help but think back to the days when the biggest issue in our lives was whether our Mom had put our favorite over-sized T-shirt (with the Coke Bears on it!) in the laundry yet.

Yeah, we’re talking about Elementary School.

And maybe we’re not even talking about the Elementary School of today, because apparently kids are alergic to everything and on mood-altering drugs and having sex at 11. We’re talking about the Elementary School of our youth. Troll Dolls. New Kids On The Block (the first time). Side pony-tails. Dunkaroos. Life was so much fun back then — or at least our nostalgia tells us it was.

In honor of our childhoods, and because we are so. drained. from a week full of political and economic strife, we’ve decided to put together the 10 Best Things About Elementary School. Feel free to add your own happy memories in the comments…

10) Lunchables

Yeah. These things were really bad for us. They were full of chemicals and sugar. Refined and processed. But hot damn, were they good.

9) Cootie Catchers

How many of these could you make in thirty seconds? How many times did you actually believe with your heart and soul that Sean, who sat two desks over, was actually going to fall in love with you because the Cootie Catcher said so? P-U-R-P-L-E…

8 ) Homework That Included Coloring

Booyah. This was the sh*t, right up there with making dioramas out of shoe boxes. Color the 50 states? Sure. Color the different parts of the flower? WHY NOT? Nothing was better than lulling yourself into a zen-like state with coloring and calling it “work”.

7) Skip-It

One time, I Skipped-It around my entire block for an hour. Exercising has only gone downhill since…

6) Yoo-Hoo

Do they even sell this stuff anymore? It’s probably known to cause cancer now, but back in Elementary School, this drink was as valuable as pure crack cocaine from Colombia. You could bargain for anything with Yoo-Hoo, including your friend’s half-baked cookie from hot lunch.

5) Trapper Keepers

If people wouldn’t look at me weird, I would still be using my Lisa Frank trapper keeper from 5th grade. That bitch held everything, even pens. Plus, you could add all the cute kitten and Troll doll folders you wanted to it and it would still close

4) Snap Bracelets

These things were outlawed in my school as soon as they arrived, but the potential to actually cut someone only made them cooler. If you sat in the back of the bus, you could watch boys having whipping contests with them — first one to shed a single tear loses.

3) Anything with Unicorns on it

Unicorns were hip in Elementary School. Especially if they had wings, or were painted in really bright colors. You could have Unicorns on your pens, notebooks, pencil cases, shirt…the list goes on. I can’t own anything with a Unicorn anymore, even though my love for them is still strong.

2) Sharkbites Fruit Snacks

Remember the white ones that tasted like all the colors combined? It was like an explosion in your mouth.

1) Recess

Tackling boys and throwing to the ground without worrying about restraining orders, getting “married” by the tire swing, testing the boundaries of your courage by kicking the tree with the bees in it; recess was pretty much the best thing the public school system ever did for us. I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life than when I watched my friend Bobby try to jump off a swing, only to have his jacket get caught by the chain, and fly backwards like a rag doll 6 feet in the air. Oh man. Good times.