[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]

The night’s going great, you can’t believe you’re hitting it off so well on a first date, he’s a great kisser, you take him home…

Whatever you do, don’t sleep with him.

You’ve heard it before, but I’m not going to browbeat you about the immorality of going all the way on the first night. I’m also not going to say, as the London Telegraph does, that you’re likely to drive away relationship material if, as the adage goes, the man “gets the milk for free.” (If that drives him away, then be glad you’re seeing the taillights.) No, take it from a man who knows: there’s a hidden reason that—if you play it right—you should never have sex on a first date.

Holding out on the magic act for at least one night—and even for a number of candlelit evenings after that—will actually improve your sex life with the beau in question, both in the moment and down the line. When you know in advance that you’re not doing the deed, you have no choice but to compensate by exploring the full range of the available possibilities—whatever you dictate them to be. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]

Rihanna may think that she’s back to making sweet music together with her battering boyfriend, but she is sadly mistaken if she thinks he will never hit her again.

Men who batter rarely do it once, even if they are rich and famous. So if you’re in a relationship with a guy who has pushed, hit or slapped you once, take it as a warning sign. You can expect him to do it again and again.

Here’s everything you need to know about batterers, from domestic violence experts Diann Ackard, a PhD psychologist on the board of Break the Cycle, an organization specializing in the treatment of domestic abuse, and Candice Hopkins, director of Love is Respect, the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. Well, their male perspective. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]  

In our piece, The Myth Of The Male Orgasm, we wrote about men who have trouble coming—it’s not as uncommon as you think. In fact, an AskMen survey found that 23% of guys have faked it at some point.

Women impersonate the O for various reasons; a common excuse is not wanting to hurt his feelings. AskMen says that guys do it for the same reason. “The prevailing opinion is that men should be able to climax whenever, wherever and under any circumstance,” which simply isn’t true. Your dude might have trouble peaking if he’s tired, stressed or drunk, or if he’s already climaxed that day. And if that’s the situation, he might fake it. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. Well, their male perspective. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]  

Do you want to know what I was going to get you?” my husband asked.

A week before our one-year wedding anniversary, we had decided to pool our money to buy a living room chair. (Romantic? Not so much. But having a place to sit is way sexier than a dozen roses—and lasts longer, too.) It was the most rhetorical question I had ever heard. Of course I wanted to know.

“Do you remember that dress at Club Monaco? The one with the black top and the white bottom?” he asked me. Why, yes. The dress with little cap sleeves and an empire waist that fl owed with a perfect fluid drape. How could I forget it? It was the type of clothing you “visit” in anticipation of owning. And I had. Several times.

Yet my husband’s non-purchase came as no surprise to me. We’ve all been there before: Boy hands you gift. You untie the ribbon, brush away the tissue paper to reveal… mesh lingerie or a slinky, sexpot number. Yet this gift was different. This wasn’t a dress that would turn male heads, let alone make a man backtrack to buy it. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. Well, their male perspective. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]  

Women, take note: when the appearance of men’s toenails suggest that we are either vying for a Guinness World Record—or preparing for an underground cage fighting match—feel free to mention that they’ve gotten a tad long. We don’t mind.

In fact, shame might be the only way for us to remember to clean ourselves up.

Hygiene is not something we consciously avoid—it’s just one of the many stumbling blocks in life. In fact, we may not even be aware that we’re the guy who everyone thinks smells like wet dog. But if your man is great at shaving and rinsing, you’ll find an off-hand compliment from the woman in his life is often the reason. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. Well, their male perspective. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!] 

I am an aficionado of the kiss. No other act is so simple and so intimate. The light suction, the flick of the lip, the playful nibble, the deep advance and retreat of the tongue—a good kiss is like jazz, an improvisation of melodies, flirtatious staccatos, and passionate brassy crescendos. A good kiss is a rapport enacted physically, like sex, but more erotic.

Many women don’t realize this. I’ve been surprised at how many treat kissing like it really is “first base,” just a step towards something better. And when I meet such women, I face a dilemma, like being a music lover who discovers that a new friend has bad taste. Do you break it off, or do you educate? And if you educate, how do you give lessons without giving offense? Read More »