There is nothing like waking up ready to start a new day, only to behold what appears to be a gargantuan pimple on your face. Believe me, I’ve been there. Suddenly, what could have been a pleasant morning heads directly towards Awfulsville.  Instead of looking forward to running into a crush, the goal becomes to walk very quickly in the opposite direction….with your face buried behind your hair. Granted, I do realize that there are infinitely worse scenarios that can be inflicted upon a person, but at the same time us ladies should not have to face the awfulness of pimples amidst all the other chaos in our lives.

Simply put, the world would be a much better place if pimples did not exist.

So the question is: do these loathsome little suckers form haphazardly or can we control their formation?  It used to be that doctors claimed diet has nothing to do with acne. Well not anymore.  Upon doing some investigation, it turns out the medical research indicates that there is indeed much we can do to prevent zits – actions that don’t involve buying hoards of benzoyl peroxide creams and cover up.  In fact, what we eat largely determines how healthy our skin looks.

Welcome to my one-article class on eating your way to healthy skin. Nom nom.

Pimple prevention 101:

1)   The hormones inside our bodies are what cause pimples to appear on the outside.  In particular, the hormone insulin is to blame for breakouts.  Insulin is most commonly known as the hormone for regulating blood sugar and is associated with diabetes, yet, interestingly, it also produces the oils that appear on our skin. Who would have thought?  Insulin levels fluctuate based on what we eat.

2)   Processed foods made with white flour and sugar lead to blood sugar spikes, causing insulin levels to go into the hateful “pimple-producing zone.” Sugar and processed foods are n-o-t good for our skin.

3)   The peeps at Harvard say milk is not a skin friendly food. The Harvard School of Public Health conducted a study in which the diets of 6,084 teenage girls were analyzed.  Girls who drank two or more servings of milk per day were 20 percent more likely to have acne.  Milk contains bioactive molecules that act on the glands where blackheads are formed. William Danby MD, a dermatologist at Dartmouth, noted in an editorial accompanying the study that 70 to 90 percent of all milk comes from pregnant cows and that the milk contains hormones such as progesterone, testosterone precursors and insulin growth factor releasing hormones, all linked to acne.

4)   The foods you should eat for radiant skin? Green vegetables, fruit, beans, nuts, seeds, avocadoes, starchy vegetables, and whole grains. These foods are loaded with antioxidants, substances that help our skin repair damage.  Plant foods also contain an array of phytochemicals.  In my opinion, phytochemicals are just kick ass. They are super foods for your body, not just your face.  They supercharge the immune system’s defensive capabilities and help prevent many diseases, including heart disease and cancer.  Many thousands of these chemicals are found in brightly colored plant foods.  So in regards to the health of our skin, the more phytochemicals that are present, the faster our skin can repair damage, and remove and detoxify waste products and toxic compounds.

So, in summary, consumption of natural plant foods leads to radiant, pimple free skin and processed foods and dairy are blackhead friendly. I know it might seem hard to give up or eat less candy, white bread or milk if you are used to eating them, but it’s really easy to still enjoy eating while on an anti-pimple or anti-acne diet.  I’m a huge fan of Silk soy milk, for example.  To me, it tastes better than milk.  Resisting ice cream becomes pie in the sky when I know I can have a delicious fruit smoothie instead.  Instead of poppin’ M&M’s, I choose to pop blueberries and cherries.

Great skin and tasty food? Check!

No fear, I’m here to help!

First things first, DO NOT pick or pop your zits. Seriously, take your hands away from your face! Sit on them if you have to, just do NOT touch that zit.  If it’s a really bad one, grab some ice to reduce the redness and swelling and that’s it. Next, follow the steps in this video and in less than 4 minutes your face will look like nothing ever happened!

Tips for personal statements.

Zap those zits!

Real Housewife, Gretchen Rossi, scandal!

The pros of strip clubs.

Oh no. Speidi is getting married for real.

You’ve probably heard lots of different reasons regarding why your face turns on you at whim, and some of it is probably true, but there are also some awful skin myths out there.

First of all, you’re not going to get breakouts from eating chocolate (or french fries)! The Vegetable Association of America made this up to scare you into staying away from delicious foods. Sure, if you ate chocolate for 3 meals a day for a week, your body’s natural balance would be thrown off, and yah, you’d probably breakout. But if you consume a normal amount of sweets, you’re fine. The reason greasy foods are associated with breakouts is because people tend to eat more of them when they are stressed. (You know you eat way more Reese’s cups when you are stressing over a big test.)

This leads me to my next point, which is that stress does cause breakouts. According to The Acne Resource Center Online, stress causes the adrenal glands to produce more hormones. The site also states that “It has also been established that psychological stress can decrease the wound healing capacity of immune systems up to 40%. This factor doubles the impact of stress on acne.” So when you’re stressed, you breakout, causing more stress, and prolonging the breakups. Great, right?

So stress produces more hormones, which produces more acne, but there are also other sources of hormones that produce acne. Your period creates elevated levels of hormones and so does birth control changes. Oftentimes birth control lessens acne, but some girls see an increase. More commonly, breakouts occur when a pill prescription is changed and hormone levels are increased.

Heredity also plays a part in breakouts, (yup, you can blame your parents for your pesky pimples). And, unfortunately, that is something that you can never change. Nope, not even getting older will help; there is no such thing as “growing out of acne.” (Please don’t hate me for that news – I’m only the messenger!)

So I guess I didn’t really tell you anything you can do to prevent zits, because there isn’t that much you can do, but – hey – now you know! Wash your face, but don’t scrub too hard; use non-pore clogging makeup; and try to de-stress. But other than that, there is no surefire way to prevent acne.

Don’t let this news stress you out (you might break out); there is some good news! You can eat that Kit-Kat and not feel guilty about it. And there is always spot treatments and cover up.

Does that help? Maybe just a little?

Bad news for me, but good news for the giant under-the-surface zit brewing on my chin: acne bacteria may now be outsmarting the medicines we have been using to cure it.

Say it with me: O.M.G.

I know – I’m freaking out, too! I have 2 birthday parties this weekend and an ugly step-sister growing on my freaking face! And now science is telling me that there is nothing to do and I should wave my white flag and surrender to this bitch?!

Apparently derms have been over-prescribing antibiotics for acne, which has created these mutant strains that aren’t touched by the stuff. No, not even that crazy shiz that bleaches your clothes/towels when you use it.

Doctors and researchers are getting very worried – some claiming that up to 30% of people with acne have these affected strains – and are looking at new ways to treat these mutant zits. Sure, acne isn’t a life threatening disease, but the results of this could really wreak some havoc!

Let’s just hope they figure out something fast. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out against this beast taking over my face. There isn’t enough cover-up in this world to help us all now.

Dear PMS:

Why?
Just why?

Who do you think you are? I mean really. You come around once a month like that annoying friend you don’t really want to hear from, yet every month, without fail, she asks you for plans and you feel sort of obligated. So you give in, but then coffee turns into an all day shopping ordeal and by the end you want to tear your hair out because now not only did you learn that you can’t stand the person you are with, but  – bonus lesson! – you learned that eating cookies DOES in fact equal having to buy a size up in your jeans.

Well that’s how I feel with you. Only instead of a day, it’s 5 and the only person I can’t stand to be around is myself. (The part of the too-tight jeans rings true thanks to you making me feel the urge to eat a bag of something salty, which of course leads me to want something sweet, which then of course leads me to want a tuna sandwich. I know! I don’t get it either!)

You make me weepy. I cry at Disney commercials (true story) and when the cheesy music comes on as the lesson is learned at the end of Full House. Strike that – you make me actually want to watch Full House.

You make my boobs hurt so much that I have to wear two sports bras to workout…and one to sleep. I can’t even put a shirt on without wincing in pain; forget sleeping on my stomach. Or, I don’t know, letting a boy anywhere near them.

You make my skin revert back to its 13 year old ways. Do you remember what its like to be 13, PMS? Do you? I don’t think you do, because if you did then you would vividly remember the time that cute boy Josh Schwartz asked me why Mount Everest decide to relocate to my face because, in his opinion, Mt. Everest was doing just fine where it was and that I should be in an advertisement for Clearasil. That would be reason enough to never ever give me a pimple again. But noooo – even in my young adult life, every month you feel the need to sprout a pimple right in the center of my face. And not just any pimple – you prefer the special giant kind that starts from underneath and is more painful than any period cramp in the history of cramps.  (Don’t even get me started on those.)

You make me moody – probabaly because I look like sh*t and my pants don’t button – but either way I’m a total bitch to the rest of the world. And the worst part is: I realize I’m doing it. Inside my head I say, “Jill stop being such a moody bitch,” but then word vomit – the bitch version – takes over and everything mean and insensitive and downright bitchy just comes out.

I mean, I get it – they (my mother) say you are really a gift because not only do I know for sure that I’m not popping one out in 9 months, but you are also preparing me for childbirth. That the cramps are really a blessing because they are preparing me for contractions. That I should embrace mother nature and say “No means NO” to Advil and instead say “Hollerrrr!” to an amazing experience that will one day be a baby’s head coming out of my Vagina.

But I. don’t. care. I saw Knocked Up and I am already in therapy for it, so give me a freaking break. Much like the annoying drunk, the needy girl and the chick who always ditches her friends for her boyfriend, you are one friend I can definitely do without.

That is all.

No love,
Jill

In middle school I had horrible skin. Constantly. By the end of high school it had really cleared up, but I feel like my years of pre-teen suffering were sufficient for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, middle school awkwardness does not justify a zit free life, and sometimes pesky pimples still pop up; like before a big party, exciting date or run-in with an ex. Perfect.

This happens to just about everyone, (or at least this is what I tell myself) so here are some good spot treatments to clear up that annoying blackhead (hopefully) before you finish your pre-game.

Neutrogena Rapid Clear Acne Eliminating Spot Gel: I use this spot gel whenever I get a little zit and it zaps it away pretty quickly. It is meant to seriously reduce pimple size within 8 hours, so if you put it on right before bed you should notice a difference in the morning. It’s not sticky and goes on smoothly and can be found at a local drug store for cheap!

Clinique Acne Solutions Spot Healing Gel: I have also used this spot treatment and find it really works. It can be a little stickier than the Neutrogena one, but it dries up zits pretty quickly, and is invisible over and under makeup.

Bare Escentuals RareMinerals Blemish Therapy: I’ve never used this product but it looked really cool and got pretty good reviews. And, well, I endorse almost anything Bare Escentuals. This is a powder (that comes with a brush). It contains sulfer like most acne spot treatments, but is in a different format. While it’s fighting off the blackhead it also helps neutralize the color to cover it up! You can put it on before bed or in the morning under your makeup.

Sepohora Double Ended Blemish Extractor: No, this isn’t a torture device, it’s meant to help pop pimples. Yeah, my mom told me not to pop zits, and that is a valid piece of advice, however, one of the reasons you don’t want to pop zits with your fingers is because they are dirty and get bacteria in already clogged pores. Unlike your fingers, this tool can be properly sterilized and then used to extract a zit. First, put warm water over your face to make the extraction easier. Then put the loop around the pimple and slowly pull until the zit is, well, popped. Don’t force it if the zit is too big to be eliminated this way!

Here are a couple of other tips to help with frustrating pimples.

-Washing your makeup brushes and removing makeup after each day is a great way to ensure that your skin stays clean and clear

-It’s okay to cover a zit with concealer, just make sure it’s one that will not further clog pores. Here are a couple of concealers with great coverage.

-If you are on vacation and don’t have any spot treatments with you, you can put some toothpaste on the zit (the pasty kind, not the gel kind). I don’t recommend walking around all day with toothpaste on your face, so try this at night, and make sure you only put it on the zit! It should help reduce the pimple size by the morning.

Oily Skin

First you need to confirm that you do, in fact, have oily skin. Most people have oily t-zones (that’s the forehead and nose area) but to have truly oily skin, your cheeks and chin will be oily too. If you have large visible pores, that’s another sign you fall into the oily category. So for you oily chicks – here’s a few things to pick up.

Murad Pomegranate Foaming Facial Cleanser ($25 sephora.com)

This fab cleanser dissolves dirt, makeup and most importantly – oil – in one easy step. Best of all, it won’t over-dry your skin. One pump of this cleanser leaves you feeling fresh and clean.

Clinique Dramtically Different Moisturizing Gel ($11.50 clinique.com)

This ultra light moisturizer is oil-free, so it won’t cause breakouts. It absorbs instantly so you can layer on more to get just the right amount of moisture. Perfect to replenish moisture if you are using acne treatments which can dry you out.

Boscia Green Tea Blotting Linens ($10 sephora.com)

These handy little papers are perfect for absorbing oil throughout the day. The best part is they are oil free. Believe it or not, most brands of blotting papers (i.e. Clean & Clear or Sephora Brand) actually have mineral oil in them! Defeat the purpose much? Stick with Boscia.

Dry Skin

You’ll know you have dry skin if you have flakiness is the cheek area and no visible pores on your t-zone. You might have dry patches if you are using an anti-acne treatment with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide (like Proactiv). That doesn’t mean you have dry skin – if you have frequent breakouts or large pores you don’t have dry skin. But for those flaky pore-less ladies who do, here are three superstar products to try.

Philosophy Purity Cleanser ($10 sephora.com)

This cleanser is perfect for dry sensitive skin. It dissolves dirt, makeup and deep-cleans pores without stripping your skin of its natural moisture.

Olay Complete Night Fortifying Cream ($15 in drugstores)

The best time to add much needed moisture is at night when your skin is naturally repairing itself. This night cream won’t clog pores but will replenish your skin’s moisture. The best part: it keeps working by preventing moisture loss the next day.

Clinique Moisture Sheer Tint SPF 15 ($27 clinique.com)

If you have dry skin, never miss a chance to add moisture! This sheer foundation provides just enough coverage to even out skintone and keeps your skin moisturized and protected throughout the day.

So those are the basics. If you still aren’t sure about your skin type, Clinique has a quick and easy survey to figure it out here.

Now in a perfect world an elaborate skin care regimen can be very good for your skin, but let’s get real. When you’re coming back to the dorm at 4am and crashing, your makeup smearing off on the pillow is the closet thing you get to skin care.

It is a good idea to have a solid skin care system, especially if you have an issue like acne or dry patches that need treatment. But with so many steps, it’s all or nothing and you need a back up plan that you’ll actually use and that actually works!

So when time is tight or you are feeling lazy there are three very important steps to hit.

1. Remove makeup

2. Cleanse

3. Moisturize

Here are some products that can kill two (or three) birds with one stone.

Philosophy Purity Made Simple ($10-32 sephora.com)

This great little product dissolves makeup, dirt and oil, so it removes makeup and cleanses your face at the same time! Its also pH balanced so you don’t need a toner. Just throw a little moisturizer on after washing with this stuff and you’re good to go.

Olay Daily Facials ($7.50 in drugstores)

These little miracle cloths do just about everything. Simply wet the cloth, work up a lather, and scrub all the makeup off your face (even waterproof mascara!). It cleanses your skin while exfoliating, toning and hydrating. It’s so effective you might be able to throw out all of your other products all together. Your skin will feel amazing!

Caudalie Instant Foaming Cleanser ($10-26 sephora.com)

This fabulous gentle foaming face cleanser is made from all natural ingredients. Its soap, sulfate, paraben and dye free. It foams up to dissolve makeup and absorb dirt and oils and it’s pH balanced to leave skin feeling moisturized. The best part – you don’t even need water! You can keep this little pump by your nightstand to keep your skin looking great even when you are too lazy (or wasted) to go to the bathroom!

Concealer sometimes seems like a tricky product – enough coverage without being cakey, matching your skin, lasting all day -  but it’s not as hard as you may think. When choosing a concealer, it is important to find one that matches your skin tone, is lightweight and oil-free, and conceals your problem areas (while concealing the fact that you’re using concealer!). Below are some of my favorite concealers in three different forms. However you choose to go, all of these provide the not-so-obvious coverage you desire:

Palette- Make Up For Ever Professional: Five Camouflage Cream Palette: This rectangular compact contains five varying cream hues, which is perfect to blend together and match different skin tones. Some creams may work best for under-eye concealer and others may work well as highlighting hues. This kit comes in several color combos so you can find the one that matches you best! Helpful Hint from Sephora: Apply these concealers underneath your foundation for extra staying-power. Try applying these creams with Bare Essentual’s Maximum Coverage Concealer Brush. Yes, it’s a little pricey for a brush but it’s thick bristles and angled tip make it perfect for getting the best coverage out of your concealer.

Tube- Clinique Advanced Concealer: All Clinique lovers know that Clinique is allergy tested and great for sensitive skin. This concealer is matte and dries to look powdery (not gloppy like some liquid concealers). With daily use it also helps firm and smooth skin. My only qualm is that it only comes in two color choices, which does not make it an ideal buy for everyone. Remember to also apply this concealer with a brush so you don’t transfer the bacteria of your fingers onto your face (which would only get you more zits to conceal tomorrow!).

Stick- Stilla Cover Up Stick: This stick comes in 5 different shades, is really lightweight and easy to apply. A total winner. Concealer sticks, in general, are great because they eliminate the sometimes messiness of thick liquid concealers and can fit into a clutch for touchups on a night out.